Ranma's Wives: Legend of Zelda Edition! – By Ocramed
Disclaimer: R1/2, SM, ST and other properties belong to their respective owners.
Note: This is a limited series story.
Author's Note: Replayed "Twilight Princess" again. This is the result.
Part 1
There are legends and legendary figures. However, there is the so-called "Legend of Zelda", although the hero of this tale is not Princess Zelda of the fabled dimension known as "Hyrule", nor is the hero of this tale is named "Link". Contrary to popular culture, the "Legend of Zelda" franchise is a rip-off, er, "homage" of the story of the legendary warrior known as Izanagi, whose real name is one Ranma Saotome. These days, Ranma receives royalties from the gaming company that sales iterations of Ranma's story in the form of one of its more popular video games. And Ranma accepts these royalties, since, as far as he is concern, he IS getting some compensation for his life experience. In fact, the Legend of Zelda game isn't the only thing that is in popular culture that directly or indirectly comes from his lifetime of adventuring across the space-time continuum. But, that is another story to be told…
Nevertheless, Ranma did have a life in the realm of Hyrule, in a manner similar to Bill Murray's "Groundhog Day", thanks to this jerk demon lord named "Demise". Thus, Ranma, trapped in Hyrule, would live as a hero of Hyrule, only to forget who he is every time he defeats Demise's latest incarnation…
But how that came to be, how Ranma finally managed to escape Hyrule is not the point of this tale, but rather, the many loves the adventurous warrior ended up having, with fellow "inmate" Usagi, trapped in the form of Princess Zelda, as the spectator.
We begin our story with a father and son moment, with the son wondering-
"YOU are Link?" Naruto Uzumaki asked, as he and his father were finishing setting the furnishings within a newly constructed chapel on the Rantsu Estate, located in the Land of Fire in "Shinobi Country", aka Hokkaido, Japan. Usagi wanted to honor those that served her, as the Princess Zelda, by creating an elaborate chapel that charted the history of Hyrule, and everything connected to it. It was an expensive project of hers, but, Ranma, who loved his wife dearly, gave into her wishes. In fact, it was an accurate recreation of the Temple of Time, right down to the ability to journey to different eras of Hyrule. The only thing that it did not do was allow any changes to occur in Hyrule, thanks to Hyrule being locked in temporal stasis, like a bug trapped in amber…
"Surprised?" Ranma said, as he took off his work gloves.
"Well, yeah, no…I mean, I know that you did a lot of stuff, Pop, but, this?"
"Is it any less believable than me giving birth to you as 'Kushina'?"
"I guess not," Naruto blanched. "But, how much of it is real, and how much isn't?"
Ranma turned to the centerpiece of the chapel. In the heart of the place was an elaborate alter pieces that hung over a shrine, at the center of the shrine, on a raised platform was the actual "Master Sword", the last surviving artifact from Hyrule, just before the realm collapsed into a state of entropy.
"So that blade is…?" Naruto said, as he pointed a finger at the Master Sword.
"Yep," Ranma said, as he goes over to the blade with reverence. "It holds the essence of Hyrule, and, it what allows people to visit Hyrule."
"How?" Naruto said out of curiosity.
"You pull out the sword, and you are automatically transported first the Sacred Realm, which is, what I like to call, the waiting room," Ranma said. "From there, you get to meet the Sages of Hyrule, who can then allow passage into Hyrule itself…and everything connected to that realm."
"Wow," Naruto said. "So, how do I get back?"
"That's the thing," Ranma said. "Unless you are the Hero, the only way to return is to complete one of my quests, which may or may not be the exact same way."
"Oh…"
Pause.
"Pop, can I-?" Naruto asked.
"No," Ranma said. "You got enough 'adventures' to deal with HERE on planet Earth."
"Humph. Then what's the point?"
"To remember, I guess," Ranma said, as he touched a statue of the Twili royal known as Midna, and then looked at the other depiction of women that were once a part of his life…
'Hylia,' Ranma thought with a sigh. 'You got me good, if I was willing to fight by your side, and for your legacy, for so long…'
FLASHBACK!
"Where AM I?" Ranma yelled, as he stood on a perch overlooking a valley.
"Ranma, calm down," Usagi said, as she looked at her map.
"Calm down?" Ranma said, as he turned towards his companion. "You wanted to take a short-cut through that asteroid field."
"How was I supposed to know that there were space pirates in there?" Usagi protested. "Nor, how did I know that we would be chased into a field of space that was unstable?"
"That's putting it mildly," Ranma said, not surprised that the "unstable area of space" was the equivalent to the infamous "Bermuda Triangle"…
"We could be anywhere, you know."
"Um, according to my Tricorder, we could be any-when, as well," Usagi said, as she looked at her instrument.
"What?" Ranma said with disbelief.
"Look, there is a strong energy signature that is too big for this world," Usagi said. "Heck, we might even find a leyline nexus or something to open a rift back to our friends' last known location."
"Fine," Ranma said, as he slings his pack on his shoulder. "But I'm going to blame YOU if we end up caught in some local nonsense…"
"Stop complaining like a GIRL," Usagi said with a tease, knowing how sensitive her best friend is about being labeled as one. "If we happen to get in trouble, what's the worst thing that could possibly happen to us…?"
Thirty days later…
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" yelled the demon king known only as Demise, as he stood tall and strong, with his monster army at his back, and the last remnants of the goddess Hylia's forces stood defiant in front. "Soon, the Triforce shall be mine-!"
Ranma, drafted into defending an annoying group of people from their enemies, turned towards Usagi.
"You were saying?" Ranma replied to his friend.
"Well, um, heh," Usagi said.
Hylia, the patron goddess of the many tribes of Hyrule, also known as the Goddess of Time, was created by three goddesses, who, in turn, created both the realm of Hyrule and the sacred Triforce, lamented the fact that the end was near, in spite of the best efforts of these new strangers. Hylia was betrayed by her brother, Majora, who was jealous that she had been chosen to be the guardian of the Triforce. And now, all seemed lost…
"We have to save these people," Hylia said with a sigh, as she looked over at the chasm. "However, I only have one chance to save the families of the Knights of Hyrule."
"Your Majesty, I shall remain by your side at all times," said Dame Impa, as she bowed her head. "The demon must not be allowed to win."
"Maybe I can help," Usagi said, as she used tablet to chart out a plan of action. "We might be able to use Demise's power against him to create a spatial rift."
"Explain," Hylia asked.
Quickly, Usagi explained how it might be possible to trap someone or something in the space between moments, using one of Hylia's many gateways.
"You're talking about having someone lure demise into a trap," Ranma said with concern.
"Unfortunately, there will be risks involved," Usagi said. "I'll do it."
"No, demon jerk is mine," Ranma said, as he stared at Demise, who was rallying his forces.
"I cannot risk your lives like this," Hylia said. "I am supposed to be the guardian of Hyrule."
"Then, why not simple remove the town itself?" Impa asked. "Keep the families safe in the meantime, while the rest of us rout Demise' forces?"
"That could be the way," Hylia said, as her thoughts turned towards the Triforce. "It is within my power to grant a single wish, which is why Demise is intent on taking it from me…"
Pause.
"Then, tomorrow, we act," Hylia said with determination. "But tonight, we celebrate with merriment, as if it will be our last."
"Most likely it will be our last," Ranma said, as he stares at Demise, who gives him the evil eye. "But who wants to live forever…?"
That night, the Knights of Hyrule and their friends and families, as well as their allies and associates, make merriment. Everyone present knew that life will change for them all, whether or not they win their battle against Demise and his forces. And with that in mind, the Knights of Hyrule make merriment, knowing that it will be the last time…
"Hey, Usagi, you got to see this guy," Ranma said, as he steps onto the balcony. "You got to meet this guy-"
Ranma notices that Usagi was staring at the night sky with wonder…
"Bunny?" Ranma asked.
"I could remember the day when the Moon Kingdom, my home, fell," Usagi said with a sigh. "Everything here seems so similar to that day…"
Usagi then turns towards Ranma.
"Ranma, I promised you that you will go home to Akane," Usagi said. "True, it's been…years since then, but I've kept us young so that you could return to her as you left her."
"And you made it so that if you and me are killed, we will be reborn somehow, and even have our memories restored," Ranma said, as he leans on the railing. "I know these things."
"I just wanted to let you know that I am sorry for getting us stuck in a war," Usagi said, as she turned towards Ranma. She then placed a hand onto Ranma's face.
"I…I know that your heart belongs to Akane, but…"
"Usagi, I made peace with myself on many fronts, including remarrying," Ranma said, as he held Usagi's hand in his. "Someday, I will see Akane again, and…I will be honest with her about what happened."
"But I just feel like a creep, with me marrying or just sleeping with others, other than…Mamoru," Usagi said.
"Well, if he ever give you trouble, send him to me," Ranma said. "I'll straighten him out."
"Ranma-"
"Okay, I won't…unless-"
"Sir Ranma, Dame Usagi," Hylia said, as she steps unto the balcony with Impa.
"Hylia?" Ranma said with surprised, as Usagi straightens up. "What are you and Impa doing here?"
"I am here due on behalf of Impa," Hylia said.
"Look, we were both drunk that evening, and all-"
"Not THAT, Saotome," Impa said, as she blushed furiously. She and her men had been captured by Demise's forces when Ranma and Usagi had stumbled onto their situation. Needless to say, Impa eventually "rewarded" Ranma for rescuing her and her men…
"So, um, what's up?" Ranma asked.
"Impa, can you watch the door, while I speak to Usagi and Ranma alone?" Hylia requested.
"Of course," Impa said, as she scanned the faces of her comrades before departing from the balcony…
"What would you like to talk about?" Usagi asked.
"First, is it within your power to…merge with other beings?" Hylia asked.
"We know of several martial arts jutus and magic rotes that can merge two beings into one," Ranma said. "In fact, Usagi and I have merged before."
"Yeah, either as the girl 'Usama' or the boy 'Ranagi'," Usagi said. "Personally, I prefer being a girl, since girls are awesome."
"Yeah, right," Ranma scoffed.
"What's wrong being a girl?"
"Well, for ONE, girls have babies, and, for another, girls have to 'sit down' to use toilet."
"You're half-girl, you know!"
"And I prefer the non-girl half, thank you very much-"
"I think we are getting side tracked," Hylia said, as she broke out into a sweat. "Also, is it true that you, Usagi, can reincarnate, as well as live a long time?"
"Well, my 'Silver Crystal', the physical manifestation of my life force, helps," Usagi replied. "But, there are other ways of being a reincarnated being or being an immortal."
"I see…"
"What are you getting at?" Ranma asked.
"I fear that even if we achieve a victory over Demise, it will be a pyrrhic one," Hylia said. "At the very least, we should seal Demise away, but be prepared in case he does return…"
Pause.
"Usagi, I would like to be one with you," Hylia asked.
"…What?" Usagi replied. "But I'm not into girls."
"I think Hylia wants to merge with you," Ranam replied.
"Oh. For how long?"
"Long enough for us to have a child with Ranma," Hylia said, as she turned towards Ranma.
"…What?" Ranma replied.
"I have decided that the families of the Knights of Hyrule will be taking to the skies for safety," Hylia said. "By merging with Usagi, and then having a child with you, Ranma, I will have an heir that will establish a long line as the guardian of my followers. I know that I am asking much, but-"
"I'll do it, if Usagi is okay with it," Ranma said.
"Ranma?"
"To be honest, a lot of people are going to be killed," Ranma said, as he looked at his bracers. "And these things put limits to my power."
"No kidding," Usagi said, as she looked at her own bracers. Bracers were placed on their wrists in order to control their respective powers, thanks to the Juraian goddess Tsunami…
"But, Ranma, if I merge with Hylia, albeit temporarily, I will remember everything that this new person does with you."
"You're saying that I'm not good enough?"
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying," Usagi said sarcastically. "Oh, how the mighty has fallen."
"You're just saying that to hurt my ego," Ranma said. "But, I forgive ya."
"Now, who's the one who is delusional…?"
Nevertheless, Hylia's plan is put into action. After Hylia and Usagi merged into one being, she was given a new name…
"Friends, let us celebrate the union of Sir Ranma and his bride…Princess Zelda!" said Impa, as everyone stood in salute.
Ranma was nervous, as Zelda escorted down the aisle by one of the elders of Hylia's council. He hadn't been married for years, and he wasn't sure how their honeymoon, albeit a short one, since, in the morning, the battle between the Knights of Hylia and Demise's forces will begin in earnest.
"Hey," Ranma said, as Zelda stepped in front of her new husband. "Um, how are you?"
"We are fine," Zelda replied, sounding as if she was two people speaking as one.
"Weird," Ranma said, as the marriage ceremony began in earnest…
Tbc.