Hey guys, I'm trying to get back to writing once again, things have been weird lately.

I might continue this one, but I'm not sure yet.

Hope you enjoy it!

That was a normal and simply day for him, with Shinpachi cleaning around the house, with Kagura eating something on the sofa, and with him dozing off on the other one, while his hand was reaching out to the black ashtray that was on top of the table, filling the room with the sound of the ashtray hitting the table every time he moved it.

Yes, that was a normal day for him, but that didn't mean it was a good one, he couldn't really remember when was the last time he had one of those. They even seemed like something far, far away.

"Gin-san," Shinpachi called and he only lifted his head a little, finding him with a pink apron on and with an annoyed expression on his face. "Can you please stop playing with Hijikata-san's stuff? He is going to get mad if you break it."

His eyes wandered back to the little ashtray when it became 'normal' for Hijikata to left his stuff behind? The ashtray, some lighters, even some bottles of mayo in his fridge… It all just became part of his house and he didn't even notice when.

"I'm not going to break it don't worry." He brushed it off before grabbing the little thing and bringing it closer to his eyes, every single mark, even the faint smell of cigarettes, he had made sure to remember every part of it, but it didn't make sense, going to that extend for something like that.

"And when it's Mayora coming back? It's been a while Gin-chan, you must be lonely without him!" Kagura giggled, she didn't mean something bad by asking that but the sudden question only made him feel worse.

He and Hijikata were dating, or at least dated, it all started for the spur of the moment and some alcohol on their bodies, something that started like that wasn't meant to last long, but he has to admit that it was nice while it lasted.

While it lasted, huh?

They ended up their relationship some weeks ago, but he didn't tell Shinpachi nor Kagura, he didn't want them to get worried for him or even less for them to go and make a mess at the Shinsengumi to annoy Hijikata for something as little as all that. But maybe—and just maybe—a part of him still hoped that they would go back to being together...

To go back to those funny days with him, when they were simply talking, enjoying their presence, sometimes with Shinpachi and Kagura, some others with them alone, those were definitely good days for him, even some of the best he had ever had, being with all the people he loved… Love?

"He is just busy with work." He lied before putting the ashtray back in its place. "And I'm not lonely either Kagura, we talked a lot too, you know?" But that was also a lie, ever since they broke up he hasn't talked with Hijikata, even less saw him. But Hijikata didn't try to call him or even text him back.

He probably was just happy to be able to work without him being an annoyance.

Work… He tried to understand it at first, but he fell in love way too quickly and Hijikata wasn't ready to give attention to something else apart from his work.

After some time it only got painful for him, and even if he tried to carry all that over his shoulders and stayed quiet about it… It wasn't enough, it was never enough.

They ended up taking all their frustration on each other, breaking up was the only answer they could get, even if he would have given up everything just to fight for their relationship… But he couldn't force something like that on Hijikata when he only wanted to end things for once.

"But you don't look that good Gin-san…" Shinpachi said with worry in his voice. "Why… Why don't you call him over? Just tell him that is to eat lunch, I'm sure he would accept."

"I don't look that good because I haven't eaten anything sweet today." He chuckled, but it was such a fake and sad laugh that they look at him even more worried. "You both know how much of a workaholic he is, he is not going to leave his work just eat something. But I'll call him in the night, okay?" He wasn't going to, he couldn't.

"I still don't get it Gin-chan…" Kagura whispered, her eyes looking at her feet. "Why you didn't tell the Gorilla? If he knew… Well, he wouldn't give Mayora that much work, right?"

"Don't say those things Kagura, there is no way we co-can tell that to the Gorilla."

Hijikata always opposed to telling the others about their relationship, not even Kagura and Shinpachi were supposed to know about it, but his house was the only place that they could be together—being outside together could lead the people to start making rumors about them—so even if they didn't want to, they had, to tell the truth to his kids. After all, they were already suspecting of them, Hijikata being there most of the days, even staying over during the night. It was only a matter of time before Kagura and Shinpachi would know.

And it would be a lie to tell that he didn't have hopes when he saw how at ease Hijikata was after telling the truth, but of course, telling Kondo was another matter to him.

But now it didn't make sense to think of those things, their relationship was a secret and their break up was going to be one until he could affront it.

"How many times do I have to tell you to not worry? We are going to work things out, I'm just waiting for him to finish his work." Kagura gave him a small smile, and Shinpachi took a deep breath. But his heart… He could feel how those lies were piercing through his heart, breaking it into little pieces.

The end..?