Goku's Dilemma..
Goku sat in his room, contemplating. He wasn't contemplating his life or his accomplishments, he wasn't contemplating his future, and he wasn't even contemplating what he was going to do today. No, instead, he was tackling a much harder topic…. How do they get the caramel into the caramilk bars?
He had been tackling this issue for weeks now and he hadn't gotten anywhere. All he had learned is that chocolate is made out of milk which comes from cows and that caramel is a very sticky substance which does not work good for hair gel. Chi-chi and Gohan knew the secret, but he wouldn't let them tell him. Vegeta knew the answer too. Goku knew how Vegeta got the answer; he went to that caramilk factory and bullied it out of them…. Threatening them with their lives. He could do that, but that wasn't the Goku thing to do, so instead he'll ponder it as long as he saiyan brains would allow it.
He had come across dilemmas before, like the time he had bought baby Gohan a sing-along tape and he couldn't for the life of him, figure out who had stolen the cookies from the cookie jar. It wasn't until he realized he didn't even have a cookie jar that he gave up. Aaahhh…cookie jars, that brings back such painful memories, he thought to himself. He recalled when he had bought Stan, one of those cookie jars that oink when you open them. He would make sure that no one stole cookies from Stan. He set up an entire electric system. He loved Stan. Everyday, he would bathe him in Chi-chi's finest cleaning detergent, despite her warnings that if he used it all; he would have to sleep in the doghouse. He even took Stan to the rodeo with him, until the hog tying started up, and he knew that it upset Stan…Yes..That was a good week. But tragedy occurred. One day, Vegeta came to visit. Around 4:00 PM eastern time, he decided to get a snack. He spotted Stan, and went over to him. He reached out and…ZAP..he got shocked. Surprised and angered, he grabbed Stan, threw up against the wall and proceeded to eat all the cookies. When Goku found Stan, his head was half off, and he voice box had been mangled so all you could hear was a pitiful ..oooink…Goku sat by Stan all night, and sang him lullabies, polished his scratched plastic hide and reassured him. Alas, at around 1:00 AM, he finally faded away completely and he lay on the floor, looking very sad indeed. Goku gave him a proper burial, including a $500 tombstone, and a bottle of his favorite polish. Goku could tolerate Vegeta's killing of people, his destruction of entire planets, but this..this..slaying of an innocent cookie jar..he had stooped to a new low. Goku decided to Punish Vegeta, and didn't talk to him for 2 hours. However, this didn't effect Vegeta in a bad way at all, in fact, he seemed amused by this. That Vegeta was a sly dog.
Now after about 5 minutes of good hard thinking, Goku's mind began to wander. It wandered to himself, as it always does after a while. He thought about his muscles, his incredibly toned body. How his muscles ripple when he picks up large objects, how he was absolutely perfect, except…then he remembered. He suddenly realized why Chi-chi has been giving him strange looks lately, when he is in the nude. He hadn't seen his "private area" since his pecs had grown larger then Chi-chi's and Bulma's chests. Not since his finally toned body had grown so large, it looked as though he had been inflated with air. Was it still there? Yes, it had to be, he could still pee..maybe it had shrunk. All his hard work and training, he had forgotten about one very important muscle..was it a muscle? or maybe many muscles..a brainteaser. Again Goku contemplated this for a while, then, determined to see if it was still there, he stripped.
"Blast," he thought, "where is a full-length mirror when you need one..I could stand on the bed and arc myself until it's visible in the small vanity mirror, but that would be rather awkward."
After much thought. Goku decided that the only way to do this was to look for himself. He thought about calling Chi-chi or even Bulma, but that wouldn't do. So, Goku arced his neck, stood tall, sucked in his chest and stomach, and stood perfectly still, afraid a single moment might ruin this opportunity. Goku had failed to notice that he was standing in front of an open window, where a group of curious onlookers had already began to gather.
Around 3:00 PM, Gohan was coming home and he saw a large crowd of people in front of his house. Gohan ran up to see his father standing naked in the window, with a very dumb founded look on his face, putting on a freak show for the neighborhood. Gohan could not have that, his father showing off for everyone..no way..if anything they should see him. And with that, Gohan stripped down, ran to the lower window and started doing macho man poises in the lower window-(keep in mind this is adult Gohan and Teenage Goten too). By this point, the onlookers had began to question the Son family's sanity.
At about 4:00 PM, Trunks and Goten arrived at Goten's house. Goten saw the crowd of people, and wondered what the kafuffle was about. Maybe Mum had finally lost it and killed Dad in an angry rage, or maybe Vegeta killed another one of dad's cookie jars. Then Goten saw his brother and his father in the window, completely nude. He let out a yelp of surprise and rushed over to join them, stripping on the way. Trunks shielded his eyes and left the crowd, not wanting to be part of this freak show. Besides his father would kill him.
At 5:00 PM, Vegeta walked by and saw the antics in the window. He shook his head solemnly, then noticed Goku's troubles. He chuckled to himself, and thought, heh…such a fool..so I beat him in something else now too.
At 6:00 PM, Chi-chi arrived home. Seeing her 2 sons and her husband naked in the window, she screamed:
"Just what do you think you are doing?" Goten answered
"I was only doing it cause they were" and Gohan answered
"I was doing it cause Dad was"
Goku suddenly realized he was being watched, and so to save himself from further embarrassment and to add an explanation, he asked, addressing it to everyone:
"Is it still there? Is it small or large? Please answer, for I can not see it."
Everyone began to laugh. Goku's face turned red. Never the less, he was confused at why they were laughing. One kind person stood up and yelled..
"yeah, it's there and.."
But before he had time to finish, Chi-chi had grabbed Goku by his ear and had dragged him back into the dark room. Chi-chi scolded him well, and preceded to beat Goku with a soggy noodle, which he always hated. Goku never did figure it out, so it was back to plan A…figuring out how they got the caramel into the caramilk bar.
FIN