"I swear, Bakageyama, if you do not get your hand away from my dick I'll—"
"You'll what? Break your legs trying to get a—"
"I'll cut off your balls and cook them into meat buns!"
"Dumbass! Stop squirming or I'll drop you right now!"
Keishin sighed as he pressed a button on his stopwatch. "That was 20.16 seconds,"
Takeda shot him a sympathetic look, "They didn't even last a minute this time."
"They couldn't even last thirty seconds!" Keishin groaned in exasperation.
Ukai Keishin was the coach for the Karasuno Adagio figure skating team. The position had only been his for about a couple of months. Even so, that time alone seemed like a whole new world compared to the usual, mundane days that he had spent manning his convenience store. It wasn't as if Ukai didn't miss the peaceful atmosphere. But he'd found that life was more exciting when your job consisted of looking after a handful of rowdy young adults with blades attached to their shoes.
Takeda watched the duo bicker as they glided across the ice at an alarming rate. Keishin had set them to work on practicing a sit lift. Surprisingly—well, not really, considering who he was talking about—they had somewhat gotten the hang of it within five minutes of learning the move. What wasn't so surprising was the fact that they had started to bicker mere moments after beginning.
How they managed to stay upright on the ice while they argued was a mystery to them all. The duo slid and spun all over the ice; Kageyama holding Hinata up much higher than necessary, and Hinata making matters worse by flailing his limbs around.
The sight would have been more comical if it didn't happen nearly every day. Takeda cleared his throat, successfully getting Keishin's attention.
"We should probably call them in before someone fractures something." he suggested, motioning to the pair skating in angry circles around the ice rink. As if on cue, they suddenly took a sharp turn to the left, nearly taking out Narita and Kinoshita before they regained their balance, cursing all the while.
"Oh shit," Keishin muttered. He remembered what had gone down the last time that had happened. It had not been pretty. But then again, when was it ever when dealing with those two? Keishin hastily made his way to the edge of the rink before any damage could be done. He cupped his hands around his mouth and called out to them, "Hinata, Kageyama!"
They stilled the second they heard their coach's voice, nearly toppling over when Kageyama came to a sudden stop. Hinata made a short indignant noise and—though Kageyama couldn't see it—shot his partner a glare. Kageyama swiftly deposited Hinata on the floor, not sparing any more than a few seconds before resuming their glaring contest. Hinata huffed and opened his mouth, most likely ready to spout some kind of attempt at a snarky remark.
"Oi, quit that!" Keishin yelled, "Just get over here!"
The pair of skaters obliged, Keishin's scowl deepening as the students exited the rink. They tried grabbing their skate guards at the same time, which only led to more shoving and cursing. After putting them on, they stood in front of him, awaiting further instruction.
Hinata gently rocked back and forth on the edge of his ice skates, shooting glares in Kageyama's direction every few seconds. Kageyama chose to stare intently at their coach, his own scowl seemingly directed toward everybody in the building. His fist shook slightly, as if he were suppressing the urge to punch the person nearest to him—which, in most cases, ended up being Hinata.
Keishin pinched the bridge of his nose. "You idiots never stop, do you?"
Hinata protested, "He started it!"
Kageyama carped, "How on Earth did I start anything?!"
"You always look like you're out for blood! Would you want someone as scary looking as you are grabbing your ass?!"
Kageyama angrily turned to his partner, "For the last time, I have to do that or you'll fall on your face like a dumbass." he paused, "Oh, wait! You already are one,"
"Oh, really? Says the—"
"Okay, both of you, shut the hell up!" the coach barked.
Snickers could be heard a few yards away from the group. Kageyama didn't even have to turn his gaze toward the noise to know who it was. "Goddamn Tsukishima…" he cursed, muttering under his breath.
Keishin sighed, "Does this need to happen every time I give you a new move to practice?"
Kageyama shook his head. Hinata closely inspected the top of his ice skates.
When neither of them said anything, he continued to speak. "I swear, if you guys don't shape up soon, I'll put in another team for next week's event."
The skaters simultaneously took in a sharp breath. Keishin tried his best to hide the smug smirk that threatened to show on his face. Worked like a charm.
"As great as your freak lifts are, those alone won't satisfy the judges forever." Keishin said, "Especially when there are formidable opponents out there."
Kageyama and Hinata nodded. They had determined looks on their faces as if they were itching to get back onto the ice. However, Keishin knew he couldn't just let them back on so soon. They needed to get their acts together before someone ended up cracking a bone.
Keishin sent them to the locker room, instructing them to go change and then to stretch. He watched them leave after exchanging glares with each other, solemn looks on their faces. As long as they were occupied for the moment, maybe things would be a little more peaceful around here.
Or not. Keishin cringed as he heard a whoop coming from behind him. The sound of blades scraping on the ice filled his ears. Of course there were the others he had to think of too. Namely Tanaka and Noya. The thought had slipped his mind. The coach rubbed his temples as he turned back to face the rink. These kids never failed to give him migraines.
"Ryuu!" Noya cheered, quickly sprinting onto the ice to join his friend.
"YAS!"
The loud duo was soon joined by Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, the former skating around with his default "I don't want to be here" look on his face. Fortunately, the rink was very large and there was more than enough space for the rambunctious figure skaters. Yamaguchi started a few warm up laps around the rink, being careful not to bump into any of his teammates.
The "bang" of a slamming door could be heard from across the room. A weary Sugawara entered the room, his partner trailing behind him. Daichi appeared to be in a similar state; their eyes drooped and their hair looked like a hurricane had just run through it. The door swung open once more as Yachi emerged from the other room. They all looked exhausted—which wasn't too surprising considering they had been put in charge of a group of four to six-year-olds for more than thirty minutes.
Ah, Keishin thought, the wonders of children. He couldn't help but sympathize with them. An hour and a half of looking after a bunch of five-year-olds couldn't have been much different from a day of practice with the Karasuno figure skating team. Maybe that was even worse. Well, he thought, glancing towards the rink. Noya was attempting to initiate what looked like a twist lift with his partner, who was more than a head taller than him and could probably crush him if things went wrong. That was debatable . . .
"So how'd it go?" Keishin asked the trio. They had been supervising a four-year-old's birthday party in Rink B as a sort of "community service" project. Though in this case, the only community they were servicing was Keishin himself.
Suga offered him a half-hearted smile, "It turns out children are harder to take care of when they're on ice skates."
"Don't listen to him," Daichi interjected, "I mean, it's true, but Suga was amazing out there."
Yachi nodded, "I'm not sure how he did it. I think his motherly aura calmed the children a little."
Suga shot them both a glare, "Would you two stop saying that already?"
"Nope," Daichi answered as Yachi threw the gray-haired male a sheepish smile.
Keishin chuckled at their exchange. The sounds of their bickering faded into the background as he turned his gaze to the rink, giving the room a cursory glance. The coach was relieved to see that Noya had stopped trying to lift Asahi off of the ice and had settled for attempting to pull off a different version of their death spiral—this time switching roles with his partner. Keishin couldn't decide whether it was impressive or terrifying.
Keishin noticed that a certain raven-haired manager was missing from the area. The corners of his lips pulled down a little in confusion. Wasn't Shimizu supposed to be with them? Looking back, he saw that Suga and Yachi had taken to lying on the floor directly in front of the benches. Daichi appeared to be seriously considering to join them.
Keishin cleared his throat before speaking, "What happened to Kiyoko?"
"Ah, u-um…" Yachi paused to think, her eyebrows slightly furrowed, "Kiyoko-san was with us a few minutes before we walked in, but I think she stopped to talk to Hinata-kun and Kageyama-kun."
Suga made a noise of affirmation from his position on the floor. Daichi stared at his partner for a good three seconds before he halfheartedly sighed and surrendered to the seemingly irresistible call of the cold, hard floor.
How was that any more comfortable? Keishin thought, shaking his head in disbelief. Mere seconds after the thought had entered his mind, the trio had managed to reposition themselves into some sort of a pile—each person using another's limbs or torso as makeshift pillows. Of course.
Suga hummed thoughtfully. You could practically see the gears turning in his head. He looked quite comfortable with his head resting atop Daichi's stomach and his right thigh serving as a pillow for Yachi's. Just as Suga was about to voice his thoughts, the freak duo themselves burst through the doors connecting the room to Rink B. Keishin braced himself for the yells and screams of the arguments that were sure to come.
So one could imagine his surprise when, instead of the intrusive yet familiar noises of Hinata and Kageyama's shouting combined, he only heard the soft swoosh of the door swinging shut behind them. Well, almost shut. Kiyoko stepped out from behind the two, swiftly stopping the door's motion with her right hand.
Keishin could have sworn that there was the faintest trace of a smirk on her face as she turned to the freak duo. He couldn't quite see the expression on Hinata's face, but if the confusion on Kageyama's was any hint, the skaters had no idea what was going on. Their interaction—if it could even be classified as one—was over almost as soon as it had begun, and Kiyoko had already started toward the pile of bodies on the floor beside Keishin.
Yachi detached herself from the others with a groan. The petite blonde stood up to greet her partner, a bubbly "Kiyoko-san!" leaving her mouth. Keishin strode towards the door as the two women began to converse.
Hinata and Kageyama stood in a slight daze, neither of them making any move to relocate themselves. His steps slowed as he got closer. Their inactiveness had Keishin hesitant to approach them. He felt the urge to be extra cautious, as if he were guiding a sleepwalker—or in this case, two—back to bed.
Rolling his eyes, he shook off the feeling. This was Kageyama and Hinata that he was talking about, it wasn't as if this hadn't happened before. Granted, the last time they had froze up like that, it was over the ghastly state of their grades for the semester. Keishin was almost certain that, whatever Kiyoko had spoken to them about, it couldn't have been as bad as that.
"Good to see you guys are back." Keishin punctuated this statement by giving Hinata a slap on the back. Perhaps a bit too roughly judging by the way he seemed to jump almost five feet into the air.
Hinata yelped in response, which seemed to snap Kageyama back to reality. He sucked in a sharp breath and ran one of his hands through his raven-colored hair. Kageyama directed his intense gaze towards Keishin. 'You aren't going to take us out of next week's event, are you?' his eyes seemed to say.
Not even five seconds afterwards Hinata turned to Keishin and asked him the exact same question. There was a hint of fear in his tone. Keishin felt a wave of sympathy. No ice skater wanted to be kept from the rink if they could help it.
"Not if you shape up." he said, repeating his words from earlier.
There were a few things that Keishin had come to understand since he had begun coaching for Karasuno. And one of them was that these boys never gave up. The term simply wasn't in their vocabulary. His team poured determination into every single action and would not back down without a fight. Literally, in some cases.
It was with this knowledge that Keishin smirked as he continued, "Next week we'll be up against some of the top universities in the area." Including Aoba Johsai, Keishin almost added as an afterthought, though he suspected that the school had already been on both of their minds.
"Oikawa-san will be there . . ." Kageyama muttered, his expression unreadable.
Hinata took one look at his partner's face and elbowed him in the side. "We're going to bring down the Grand King." he decided.
And from the tone of Hinata's voice to the hard, determined look in his eyes, Keishin thought that, without a doubt, they'd make it happen.