No Fair Fight
Chapter One
War was tiring. That's what Annie had learned over the past three years. She was just so tired of all of this. But she couldn't seem to die. It was like God was punishing her, keeping her alive. She wasn't sure if she believed in God, but if there was one, they were punishing her.
There had been half a dozen times she had genuinely believed she was going to die. When she SHOULD have died. The first was when she got pinned down by a sniper and watched the rest of her squad get their brains blown out. After that, she made it a firm practice not to get attached. Getting attached meant it would hurt when she lost them. The second time had been when she stepped on a land mine. It turned out to be a dud. The third time she found herself under an enemy tank. It had been a complicated situation. The fourth time, the building she was in got hit with an artillery shell. She was buried under the rubble and it took them two days to dig her out. She'd been the only one pulled out alive. Her squad mates were gone…again. The fifth time, she woke up to find herself staring down the barrel of a gun. Annie honestly didn't know how she had gotten out of that one. She remembered being on the ground and next thing she knew, she was walking away, and the other guy had a knife in his throat. The sixth and most recent time was the dumbest. She got her foot stuck in a railroad tie and almost got run over by a train.
Half the battalion thought she was a good luck charm. The other half believed she definitely brought bad luck. Annie just found the whole thing damn annoying. At least her current squad mates weren't too annoying, the emphasis being on the word too. Marlowe Freudenberg had this righteousness about him that often made Annie want to sock him in the mouth just to shut him up. But other people often did that for her. The way he spouted his ideals, even if he got the shit kicked out of him for it reminded her so much of HIM that she hated Marlowe for it. Hitch Dreyse was the exact opposite of Marlowe in pretty much every way. She didn't seem to have any ideals and was incredibly lazy and nosy. Annie had no idea how or why Hitch was in the army. But she did have a way with words, and could sweet talk her way into or out of any situation. Boris Fuelner was the last member of their squad, and the least annoying, usually just quietly following along with whatever the other three were doing. Annie had to admit, they made an interesting group. But they all had their strengths that helped out the group as a whole. They'd survived six months together, so that counted for something.
"Annie? Where are you now?" Marlowe's voice called out.
"I bet she's on a beach somewhere, sun tanning and flirting with cute boys." Hitch giggled.
"Shut up, Hitch." Boris sighed.
They were sitting around a small folding table, playing cards. Annie had zoned out, thinking about bright blue eyes. "Actually, I was thinking about ocean eyes. And I don't flirt anymore."
The other three exchanged glances. "Did we finally level up enough? Are we finally unlocking Annie's backstory?" Hitch asked.
Annie rolled her eyes. "Forget it. You're annoying."
"No, wait. I'm sorry!" Hitch's face grew serious. "Go on."
"Only if you want to." Boris said. "And I wouldn't blame you if you didn't."
"Fine." Annie huffed. "There was a guy once, and he had ocean eyes."
"Like the color?" Marlowe's face scrunched up in confusion.
"Shut up, you idiot." Hitch hissed, elbowing him in the ribs.
"No. Well, actually, yes, they were. But it was more than that. His eyes were so expressive. They carried so much emotion, so much depth. Like the ocean. They were…beautiful. HE was beautiful." She sighed.
"What happened to him?" Boris asked.
"Are both of you idiots?" Hitch asked, kicking Boris in the shin.
"How am I an idiot? She's talking about him in past tense, so obviously something happened?"
"But you don't just outright ask, you insensitive ass!"
Annie stared down at her lap. She could see the blood. Smell the smoke. "He died." She stood up abruptly. "So, I don't flirt anymore. I'm hungry, let's hit the mess."
"Okay!" Hitch hopped to her feet too. "Don't worry. I'll flirt enough for the both of us."
"Of that, I have no doubt." Boris said, helping Marlowe gather up the cards.
"Just for that, I'm not flirting with you now." Hitch crossed her arms.
"I'm sure he's devastated." Annie said in an uninterested tone, not looking at any of them. Sometimes, she felt like she was Icarus. She had flown too close to the sun and she got burned and fell. She had learned her lesson though. The lesson was carved on her heart.
"There she goes again." Marlowe said.
"Shut up. Are you ready?" Annie glared at him.
"Yes, geez. Let's go." They started off across camp towards the mess tent. The camp was busy this evening. Lots of activity. A new unit was joining the camp tonight. As long as Annie still got her food, she didn't care how many people were stationed here. The four of them made it and got into line.
"I wonder if any of the new people are cute." Hitch pondered.
"You're insatiable." Boris rolled his eyes.
"I heard that there's members of the Special Operations Company in camp tonight." Marlowe said, ignoring the other two.
"Aren't they supposed to be top secret?" Hitch asked.
"Yeah. They undergo some of the most dangerous missions."
"Why are you smiling about that? That means they have high casualties." Boris said.
"It's a great honor to join them." Marlowe argued.
"They die just the same as we do." Annie finally chimed in. "It's just that their bodies don't get to come home."
"You're always just a ray of sunshine, aren't you, Annie?" Hitch asked, throwing an arm around Annie's shoulders. They reached the front of the line, got food, and found a place to sit together. Apparently, Marlowe wasn't done.
"I heard their one captain has the most recorded kills ever."
"They don't record kills. How could they possibly record individual kills?" Annie said before shoving food into her mouth.
"Sounds like someone's in love." Hitch grinned.
"It's not like that."
"No, no. Please continue fanboying. It's adorable." Hitch giggled.
"You wouldn't last one day with the SOC, Marlowe." Boris said, taking a bite of his food.
"Yeah, he'd probably piss his pants." Hitch grinned.
"That was one time, Hitch! Why do you have to keep bringing it up?" Marlowe's face was turning red.
"Because it's hilarious! You're a grown man, Marlowe."
"No, but seriously. I think the only one of us who could cut it with those guys is Annie." Boris cut in.
"Yeah, if she doesn't get her foot caught in the railroad tracks again." Hitch giggled.
"At least I didn't start crying the first time an artillery shell landed near me." Annie said simply.
That shut Hitch up and made Marlowe grin. "I forgot about that. Thanks, Annie!"
They finished eating and headed back towards their tents. "Can we go see if we can find those SOC guys?" Marlowe asked.
"How would you pick them out?" Hitch asked.
"By their unit insignia, of course."
"But doesn't that defeat the purpose of their being top secret, then?"
"Oh my god! Stop being such a moron!" They came to a stop.
"How am I being a moron? It's a valid question!"
"I'm going to bed." Annie said, tired of hearing the two of them.
"Me too. I've had enough testosterone for the day." Hitch crossed her arms.
Annie let out a sigh. That meant Hitch wanted to spend the next hour bitching about Marlowe. "Fine."
"Oh come on, Hitch!" Marlowe exclaimed.
"I think she's done listening to you, buddy." Boris patted Marlowe on the shoulder. "I think I'm gonna turn in too."
"Is nobody going to go see the SOC with me?" Marlowe asked.
"That is correct." Hitch replied.
"They're just people. I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of it." Annie sighed before starting back towards their tents, Boris and Hitch trailing behind.
After a moment, she heard Marlowe huff. "Fine. We can go find them after the morning briefing." Annie glanced back and saw he was following too.
"Dream on, Marlowe." Hitch said.
"We're not going to be stalkers." Boris added.
"Plus, we're going to have to work after the briefing." Annie added.
"I'll go by myself if you guys won't go with me." Marlowe sounded like he was pouting.
"No, you won't or you'd be going right now." Annie said. She reached the tent she shared with Hitch and ducked inside, Hitch behind her.
"Do you ever get tired of being stuck with the same people all the time?" Hitch asked, sitting on her cot and pulling off her boots.
"No." Annie also sat down and began unlacing her boots. She'd gone through three full squads before ending up with these three. But that was sentimental, and sentimentality meant attachment. "I don't like people, but being with you guys for so long has made you bearable."
Hitch giggled, clutching a hand over her heart. "Annie, I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."
"I take it back. You're too annoying for words."
"No takebacks!" Hitch grinned. But then her face grew serious. "So, tell me about your guy with the ocean eyes. I won't make stupid comments like the boys."
Annie stared at her. "I don't talk about him."
"Please? Tell me anything. I won't tell anyone!"
Annie let out a sigh at Hitch's pouty face. Nosy little imp. He came to mind so easily, even four years later. "He was…home. His arms were heaven, and being held in them was to touch infinity. We had a small forever, and then he was gone. Like a fire, he came into my life bringing warmth and light, and then it was snuffed out."
"Wow." Hitch gasped.
"Sorry. Didn't mean to get all poetic." She couldn't help but get poetic when she thought about him. His existence had been like a poem. His presence had made her feel all the things those poets they read in English class were trying to convey. Annie climbed into her sleeping bag and waited for Hitch to do the same before switching off their portable lamp.
"Don't be sorry. Most girls would kill for a love like that, even if it ended in tragedy. I can't even imagine what it would feel like to love someone that much."
"Then, you're lucky. Because with great love comes even worse sorrow when they're taken from you. The worst pain imaginable and nothing helps. Eventually, it'll turn to a dull ache you always carry with you, but even then, something will happen, or you'll see something, or smell something, and it brings the memories back. It's like getting stabbed in the heart. Like watching them die all over again. And you just want to die, because you'll either be with them again, or your suffering will be over." Annie didn't even know what got her out of bed anymore. It used to be a knowledge that he would want her to keep going, keep living. But he was dead. Dead and buried and probably rotten away. What did it matter what he would want?
Hitch's voice broke her reverie, bringing her back to the here and now. "How long were you guys together?"
"Not nearly long enough."
"What was his name?"
No. She couldn't say it. She could barely think it without wanting to cry. And she was done with tears. "Goodnight, Hitch."