Sans was once more on the surface. He told his brother about the sky and helped Tori 'enroll' her school. He helped Asgore capitalize the city on the surface and helped Frisk with politics. He had even set up Alphys' and Undyne's wedding.
So after a good ten years on the surface, I should be truly happy, right? I should believe that Frisk will never Reset ever again and everything would be hunky-dory, right?
You obviously don't know how my life works. My life will always be miserable no matter what's going on around me. My soul always covered in the now, almost comfortable weight that squeezed the life out of me.
I pulled out the sad little... thing out of my chest. I had thought it was bad when I was a kid with a measly 10 HP. I thought it was bad after Flowey when I had a minuscule 1 HP. Oh, I must be microscopic by know with my disgusting 0.1 HP. Not even a full HP and I knew it'd just get lower as time went on.
Right now I was enjoying one of the tiny breaks I sometimes got between my worst times. Always right when I knew I might just finally break. I'd always get a small amount of time to heal a little. I remember how my HP had been at 0.075 at the beginning of the Reset but, of course, Pap put me back together like he always did.
So now all I needed to know was, What now? My Dad turning straight up insane and a creepy void creature? He comes and molest me or inject me with Determination? Been there, already been through that.
Was it going to be a dead prince who gradually became a demi god? Who wanted nothing but to break my bones apart and use my brother against me? Oh gosh, that is so original! I would never have thought of that!
Neary fall down but become an amalgamation with my brother? Having to wander about until some one put us out of our misery? Wow! That's so awful!
I chuckle lightly thinking of how stupid I was to reach out for Papyrus of all people with my last dying breath. That I was actually good enough for that.
Don't even get me started with the time gods that were children. Nope, you can't just forget a Genocides of all things but I guess everyone else can. That or when the new ruler would basically fuck everything up until the world Reset.
Like Undyne leading us into a famine, Mettaton leading us into a depression, or Papyrus who could barely take the pressure but did a hell of a lot better than anyone else. Maybe the kid would let monsters be on the surface again?
Oh, wait I'm pretty sure that last one is going on. I pretend to think really hard about it, then let out a small huff of amusement. Yep, that was still happening.
I look down to see the determination leak out of my arm as I realize my nails had dug into it. It reminded me how I used to mark the days on my arms till the next Reset. How I was actually caught that one Reset as I had gone down a particularly bad slope in my life.
I guess Pap would be proud if he remembered. I accepted my fate and I'm not losing any more HP. Sure I probably need to declaw myself again but other than that I am doing better.
Sure I was still shit but it isn't my absolute worst. I remember back to me at my worst. The memory wracking a shiver up my spine as I remember the torture I endured from "Chara". How they... I really didn't like to think about the times Chara made him their pet. How everything would be hazy except them and the need to please them or else Papyrus would suffer the same fate with me. When it finally happened I remember how terrible it was on him, how many times he... he dusted and I could do nothing but watch as they taunted me.
I always would look back at all of my memories and it was either the same old torture or Papyrus. When Gaster would run a particularly deadly test, Papyrus was there to heal and soothe me. He kept my hope up that we'd escape and we did. It was Papyrus who'd look at being homeless like an adventure and make stories about his greatness to keep me going. Papyrus who would try to protect me from Flowey and never left my side unless he died. At one point even dusting the putrid weed. The Great and Coolest Brother Papyrus who would always be able to tame the human no matter how many tries it took.
It made them times I helped Papyrus feel better some of the best times of my life. When I had gotten Papyrus out of the labs to live with Grillby until Gaster ceased to exist. When I had bought him a toy he'd wanted and the house. When I had gotten Flowey low enough on Determination for him to lose his ability to Reset and chose to give Mercy to them. It was probably because he was giddily charging a Gaster Blaster before the world Reset itself. How he'd beam at the idea I was taking the kid out for some Frisk and Dunkle bonding. Anything I can really ever do to make him happier, or more confident, or just more himself would sound small amounts of emotion through my nearly dead soul.
The sparks of love and affection and pure adoration for my younger brother would never cease, they would be our fuel to keep going and that we were happy and safe. How when Pap would pick me up and scratch under my malleable just right to make my soul hum and soothe us both. How he could make it bubble with laughter because of his antics. How he could soften it to see another pain and trouble and most importantly who they could have been. It made me wonder who I could have been.
I knew from Gaster's notes and videos that I was... well I was once hyperactive, and bubbly, and curious. I had figured out how to use my magic at a young age and was even writing full sentences by the age of three. I was enamored by science and how everything worked. I was apparently as optimistic and hopeful as he once was. It was difficult really. That the same sweet and caring man could turn so corrupt as to... to do such horrid things to people he could have called family.
I remember seeing what Asriel and Chara once were as well. How they had made a plan to sacrifice themselves to free all of the monsterkind. How Asriel was once nothing but kind and patient and Chara. Oh, Chara would have honestly my best friend if they hadn't been corrupted by piles of LV and self-hatred. How they were the reason that Asriel could ever let them on the surface but, her sibling would fade back into a soulless husk. How sometimes I could see them talking to Frisk and trying to convince them to play a prank or something of the sort.
My thoughts were stopped as the door was slammed open and a grand shout was proclaimed from The Great Papyrus,"SANS I WILL CARRY YOU TO THE TABLE IF YOU DON'T COME DOWN YOURSELF!" Papyrus playfully chided as he crossed his arms and stamped his foot with a dramatic glare.