AN: I wrote this a long while ago, so I know that both Urgot's and Viktor's respective lores have changed. Apologies for the inconsistency.
"Hey, why don't you try picking on someone your own size?"
I grinned. Just in time. The abomination in front of me whirred, until I could see its misshapen head staring at me with unblinking eyes. What an ugly mug.
Just as I had hoped, the yordle mother that was tearfully protecting her children took that as her cue to scamper.
Now it was just me and him. Well, me and Tristy against him.
"…Execute."
I heard the servos in its arms firing up, and looked up in time to see a disturbingly sharp looking blade flying towards me, trailing dripping green stuff.
I slammed the console in front of me, and Tristy, the good girl she is, cranked into life. The blade bounced off of the sheets of iron that ratcheted into place around the cockpit, saving me from having an extra nostril. However, as my scrap shield retreated, I could hear the sizzling of dissolving metal.
Yikes. This guy means business.
He's not the only one with firepower though.
"Come on girl, let's show him how it's really done." I could feel Tristy hum under my feet, just as ready as I was to tear this monster apart.
KA-CHUNK! Ahhhh, I love the smell of fresh electrified harpoons in the air. As the first one embedded itself into the thing's flesh, I sent a second one over for good measure.
The monster didn't seem to mind the electricity arcing across its pallid, stiff flesh, but the added charge seemed to wreak havoc with its mechanics. It twitched towards me and Tristy weakly, unable to move properly.
Perfect.
Under my guidance, Tristy clanked towards it. Another blade whizzed past, though the thing's aim seems to have been affected by the electricity. With its arm cannon, it attempted to pepper us with little blobs of acid. While some of the blasts hit their mark, I built my girl tougher than that.
Let's see how well it likes Tristy's flamethrower, shall we?
Tch. Magic shield? Weak.
No problem. We're close enough now.
BAM! Tristy pulled an arm back, and let loose a punch that could crush reinforced steel. Direct hit to the face!
"How d'you like the taste of that knuckle sandwich?" The thing was punted off its legs and flew a good twenty feet, crumpled into a heap of disgustingness. "Not such an easy target now, are we?" I spat in its general direction.
Acid splashes over both me and Tristy. I bite back a scream as the smell of burning fur and skin fills my nostrils.
The thing was getting up. Half of its skull was caved in from the little tap we gave it, but even though it was leaking fluid and otherworldly energy, it was still moving. The humans built a tough nut to crack, I'll give them that.
"Must… punish…"
I grit my teeth. Looks like this guy needs some extra lessons in the art of dying. Unfortunately for it, I havejust the thing for slow learners. I stabbed The Big Red Button.
"EQUALIZER!"
Tristy spat forth a salvo of my own specially designed rockets. They rain down on the advancing figure and burst into a raging inferno.
I smirk. There's no way it's getting out of this one.
The thing stopped in the middle of the flames. Ha, even it knew that trying to escape was futile. I lean back into my seat and watch the flames lap hungrily at their meal.
Wait. Is tha-
With a flash of light and a lingering tang of ozone, I suddenly found myself inside the firestorm.
HOT HOT HOT! Diverting all power to Tristy's legs, I have her take flying leap out of the blaze. We didn't exactly… stick the landing, and I tumble out of the cockpit, coughing up soot and ash.
Man, that was embarrassing. Caught in my own flaming pit of doom. But, it looked like that weird teleportation was the thing's last gasp at life. Unlife? Whatever. Melted legs buckling under charred flesh, it collapsed and the light of its eyes flickered and went out.
"Woooooooooo! Ya see that? Try messing with yordles on their turf now, suckers!" I can't help it. I jump up and give Tristy a hug. I didn't manage to get much of her in my arms, but hey, it's the thought that counts.
Kukuku….
I look around wildly and leap back into the cockpit. Unfortunately, Tristy stuttered and I heard the telltale crunch of gears grinding and seizing up. Come on girl, you can get back up. Don't let me down now!
"Who's there?! Show yourself!"
A human, clad in metal, floated down in front of me. Some impressive rocket boots.
"I see you've taken care of one of my pawns. Impressive."
The helmet covering his entire head gave his voice an eerie emptiness. Something was wrong with this guy.
Tristy was still creaking and crunching, but she was upright again. I gave a lever an experimental pull and something spat out an alarming amount of acrid smoke. Sorry girl, I'll give you some TLC after this tin bastard is taken care of.
"If you see what's left of your pet," I jerked a claw at the thing that was still dissolving into a smoking mess, "I suggest you get outta here before me 'nd Tristy kick your shiny human ass into orbit." Maybe a little more bravado than I felt, but we could do it.
"How rude. And here I was about to extend an offer that I wasn't going to give to the rest of the pathetic little meatbags scurrying around here."
"Say WHAT?! Who did you call little?!"
He just laughed. My claws were twitching closer and closer to the controls for Tristy's fists. This guy was just making me want to cave his skull in with every passing second.
"By the looks of your… mount, you have a middling talent with mechanics. If you join me, I could give you access to power beyond your greatest dreams."
Oh really? I crossed my arms. "You sure about that? I can dream pretty big."
With soft thrum, the thrusters under those awes- I mean ok looking boots turned off and the human touched down gracefully. My ears twitched as I picked up the barely imperceptible purr of well oiled gears spinning as he started to pace. "What if you didn't need any of those ugly, inefficient interfaces? Instead of a weak body of flesh that rots and decays, susceptible to all forms of flaws, you could have an everlasting body of steel."
That would… actually be pretty awesome. But, it's not like I hadn't thought about that before.
"Full cyborg modification? That's impossible. The best you could get is something like that… thing over there." I pointed at the heap in the corner. Against all odds, it was still twitching. I nudge Tristy over and stomp on its head again a few times. Damn thing is like a cockroach. "And what would you know about that anyways? Everyone knows that humans just copy yordle tech and pass it off as their own."
"Oh, it's very possible. That was just a prototype. This… this is real power." He took off his helmet.
I let out a very unheroic squeak. That wasn't human. While there were… fleshy chunks still in there, the majority of the space where the head should be was filled with spinning gears and blinking lights.
"No emotions. No mistakes. Perfection." He floated up again. A third arm popped out of his back, shooting out a laser that cleanly cut the dissolving corpse in half with a slightly sickening sizzle.
"I have surpassed the bounds of mortal life and passed into the pristine realm of machines! Will you join me, or die with the rest of the organics?"
He turned to me, third hand ready.
"Or, are you content with being looked down upon for the rest of your pathetically short existence?"
That does it. This guy is insane.
"Why would I ever gave up this gift to yordlekind," I said, gesturing to my face, "for that ugly thing?"
"Hmph. Putrefy with the rest of them then. The virus should have finished infecting the survivors. I look forward to seeing your bloated corpse."
Wait what?
"What did you say? Virus?"
"I don't talk to maggots."
I yelped. Suddenly there was a cage of flickering light around me. I couldn't move. I felt like that one time that Tristy fell on top of me, except maybe if she was gaining weight and making my muscles seize like I had a thousand volts running through me.
Through the haze, I saw a line of yordles shambling out of the wreckage. Their eyes glowed with the same eerie green that the abomination leaked. I watched in horror as the stumbling horde walked through rubble and embers, not reacting.
One of them bent down and pulled a corpse out of the ruins. Did it – Oh god, I would be sick if I could move. The unyordle just ate the corpse's eyes out and tossed it aside.
The corpse got up again. The corpse got up again.
They'll spread. We're in a populated part of yordle country.
Eyes blurring, I desperately spasmed towards the only thing that I knew would take the threat out. For the second time today, I pushed The Big Red Button.
I heard no screams as I blacked out, just the roar of rockets and fire.