DISCLAIMER: If I owned DGM. It would not have been as successful as I would probably procrastinated the whole time through.

Evaluation

Summary: Set in AU. It's teachers' evaluation time at the Dark Order School. This is the time where students would cheer since the day would be spent ticking boxes and no homework will be distributed, and the teachers would groan because somehow, something will happen. So let's find out what it is this time.

WARNING: Crack. Oh, and Kanda's mouth.

"Alright, class. Today, we're going to have a teachers' assessment form you have to fill out."

Groans greeted Komui Lee's words, and he tried desperately to calm the class down.

"Now, now. It's not that bad, I mean, you don't put your names on it so no one would know anyway."
"Anonymity does not work for me. He keeps stalking me."
"Yes, well… Sorry, Allen, can't do anything about it. Try shielding your paper from him."
"Mister Komui Lee aided Walker in trying to hide important documents."
"Wha… A teacher's assessment sheet is not an important document, Link. It's only a form!"
"Blatant disrespect to superiors…"
"You're in my same class!"
"Unwilling to cooperate."
"Gah!"

About ten minutes later…

"Miranda… needs a little confidence boost. Krory… the cape has to go. We've lost our fifth door today due to his insane strength and the cape getting caught in said doors. Reever, needs to relax once in a while."

Allen paused, tapping the pen he had been using against the table.

"Oi, Moyashi. Stop that, it's annoying."
"Shut up, BaKanda."
"What did you say…?!"

About another ten minutes later and lots of broken things…

"Hmm… Leverrier? Limited to one word huh…"

Allen looked up from his form, and nonchalantly glanced towards the general direction of Link. The moment the blonde looked elsewhere, Allen Walker wrote a quick word on the form before folding it down onto the desk.

"Mister Komui, sir. I'm done."

Lying face down, scratched into the paper in such a hurry that the font was almost illegible, was the single word: Slimy.

Two days later…

"Allen Walker. You are hereby ordered to attend a trial for heresy."
"Wait, what? Why??"
"Contempt towards superior."
"What contempt?"
"Yeah, Allen's always polite…"
"… like a fucking hypocrite."
"Yuu Kanda, watch your language."
"Contempt towards superior, by calling our esteem headmaster, slimy."

Silence…

"He's right though."
"Hey, I wrote 'douche-bag', doesn't that count as heresy too?"
"Douche bag are two words, not one."
"What?! What logic is that?"
"The trial will commence now."
"I wrote retard, does that mean I will be tried too?"
"Yeah, what about me? I wrote Hitler Wannabe."
"You get off by technicalities, they are two words, see?"
"Well, I wrote murderer. Doesn't that make me the worse? Allen only wrote 'slimy'."
"Lenalee!! Don't give up your freedom for that brat!"
"Brother, how could you say that?!"
"Ouch, that kick had got to hurt."

In the midst of all the confusion, someone managed to knock Leverrier out, and since Allen Walker was in another room entirely, awaiting his trial, no one could pin it on him, though the moustache man did try, saying it's a conspiracy, until Kanda got so fed up with all the noise going on, he simply roared at the people to shut the fuck up, cut off Mister Moustache's moustache, shaved him bald, and left.

All the while, a confused Allen Walker still sat in the other room.

"I only wanted to write 'smiley'… he doesn't smile a lot, but when he does, it's like the Earl, actually…"A growl sounded in the room. "Meh, I'm hungry. Wonder what's today's special."

And so ends a very confusing day, where we learn the lesson that Exorcists and school does not go together, and Lenalee can be very mean if she wanted, one must not piss off the Great Kanda, and Allen's Hunger is something that will not be stopped regardless what.

All's well ends well.