Dr. Keller stared at John Sheppard, uncertain if she had heard him right. The leader of the Atlantis military was grinning at her in a bizarrely drunken way, being supported by Major Lorne and one of her medics. Certain that her day was about to get a whole lot more interesting, she said, "I'm sorry, Colonel, what did you say?"
"I said the medusa look is wickedly cool on you doc." His gaze moved to her hair and appeared to follow some kind of flowing movement. "The ice blue color really gives it that extra flare. Very hot," he added, a mesmerized look entering his too large eyes.
Keller's gaze moved to Lorne, who failing to surpass a grin as he said, "He's high, doc. Very, very high. We're pretty sure he's going to be all right, but Carter wanted you to check him out anyway."
Deciding she was better off not knowing how Sheppard had come to be so very, very high, Keller just nodded and said, "Put him on a bed and I'll check him out."
Lorne nodded and he and the medic guided John to a bed and got him into it. Ronon arrived just as they finished, though he remained in a corner of the room, little smirk on his lips as he watched the scene. Keller thought she saw something hidden in his arms, but John was her first priority, so she didn't ask about it.
She moved to John's side to start her examination. She reached out to touch him, but he snatched her hand before she could get very far, startling her.
"Doc!" he exclaimed, sitting up. "I almost forgot! You wanted to hear about the dancing elephants!"
Keller raised her eyebrows and looked at Lorne, who was standing off to the side. "What?"
"The dancing elephants," John repeated, a look of exasperation on his face. "Like I told Carter, they mesmerize you with their dancing, then steal your pants! It's an epidemic, doc! There are *whole* planets of people out there with no pants! The giraffes are really upset about it."
"The…giraffes?" Keller asked, ignoring the snort of laugher from Ronon.
John nodded vigorously, gesturing to an empty corner of the room. "Oh, yeah! The giraffes have been after the elephants for *years*. The really hate seeing all the people with no pants on. They can't enjoy their cigars properly they're so embarrassed."
Keller had just managed to resume her examination while Sheppard babbled on, but stopped at the last statement, unable to help herself. "The giraffes can't enjoy their…cigars?" she repeated, doing a commendable job of controlling her amusement.
"Oh, yeah," John replied, gaze moving to the empty corner of the room. "Biggest stogies I've ever seen but, they have to be, right, cause giraffes are *huge*!" He grinned and waved to that corner of the room. "Don't worry, buddy!" he called, "We'll get those elephants!"
"Of course you will and I have something very special that will help you with that," Keller said, quickly getting his attention.
"You do?"
Keller smiled and nodded. "Absolutely. But first, you need to get a good nights sleep so you can handle what I have to give you, okay?"
Sheppard nodded eagerly. "Okay!"
He started to get up, but Keller gently pushed him back down again. "No, John. It'll work much better if you stay here tonight. Just relax and go to sleep, okay?"
John's gaze was glued to her hair again, and he nodded, transfixed. She waited a moment, watching his eyes slowly starting to grow heavy, then whispered, "Go to sleep, John."
Obediently, John's eyes drifted closed and, a moment later, he was fast asleep. Keller shook her head and looked up, just in time to see Ronon dart away, whatever he was carrying still tucked away in his arms.
"He video taped the whole thing," Lorne supplied, following her gaze. "Revenge for a prank the colonel played on him the other day," he added at Keller's surprised look.
She rolled her eyes. Of course it was. "Well, hopefully this will be the end of all that," she muttered, glancing at John. Lorne nodded in agreement, though he couldn't stop the grin that played on his lips. He bid her goodnight, then left the infirmary to report back to colonel Carter. Keller gave John one last look, then headed back into her office to write up a report.
A very edited report. No need to include anything about dancing elephants and smoking giraffes.
Heh.
END