~Away From Me~
\You come to with scars on your wrists,
You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this\
It was raining outside. Not that was anything new. It always rained when you came to me. Every. Single. Time. But that doesn't bother me. Because it let me know you were still alive. When you throw your arms around me, I hold you tightly to my body, hands rubbing your back softly as you sob. I can't help but notice the scars on your wrists. How many times had you attempted suicide by cutting?
\I just came to say goodbye,
I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine.\
"What are you doing here?" I ask you, slowly wiping the tears from your face. You only shake your head, shoulders shaking in sobs. Please don't cry... I can't stand it when you cry. I slowly pull you over to the couch, ignoring the storm that's starting outside and wrap you in a blanket. "That doesn't matter." I whisper, holding you as close to me as I can.
You pull back and stare at me, tears still in your eyes. I wish you wouldn't have to cry anymore. I miss the days that you'd come over just for the heck of it, all smiles. But now it's only when you need comfort. "I... I came to say goodbye," You whisper, wiping your tears away furiously. I know you hate it when people see you cry.
I murmur your name softly, looking down at your wrists and gently trailing my finger over the more recent scars. "What's wrong?" I ask softly. You only wrench your hand away from me, as if afraid... It only stabs me in the heart knowing that you don't trust anyone anymore.
"I'm fine... I won't be burdening you anymore," You tell me and I feel a lump form in my throat.
\But I know it's a lie.\
"Please don't say that." I whisper, slowly raising my hand to wipe your tears away as they cascade down your cheeks. "You're not a burden and you never have been and you never will be."
\This is the last night you'll spend alone,
Look me in the eyes so I know you know.
I'm everywhere you want me to be.
The last night you'll spend alone,
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go
I'm everything you need me to be.\
More tears slide down your face before you throw yourself at me, burying your head into the crook of my neck and letting out sobs, clutching at me. It pains me to see you like this but I wrap my arms around you tightly, holding you as close as I can.
My mind brings back another memory of you, before the bruises began to appear, of the two of us sitting outside at night, looking up at the stars, wondering how far away they were.
I press a kiss to the side of your head as I rub your back, trying to calm you down. "Tell me what happened," I whisper softly, pulling you into my lap, my arms only tightening around you.
You sniffle and wipe your tears away from your eyes.
\Your parents say everything is your fault,
But they don't know you like I know you;
They don't know you at all.\
I murmur your name softly and kiss the side of your head softly, still rubbing your back. "Parents..." You start softly and I know what's going on now. "T-they... They blame everything on me." You wipe at your eyes again and I can't help but scoff. You know that it's not directed at you and it brings a very slight smile to your face.
"They don't know anything about you," I whisper, gently pulling you closer, as if I could just pull you into my own body and shield you from the world forever. "They don't know that you like your toast with jelly only on one half; or that when you sleep, you tend to cling to whatever's closest to you; or that you look the greatest in the sunlight with the sun in warming you and casting a glow over your hair and eyes..." You smile again slightly, laying your head on my chest.
\I'm so sick of when they say:
"It's just a phase, you'll be okay. You're fine"\
\But I know it's a lie.\
You whisper my name and I tilt my head down to look at you, my hand moving from your side to gently wipe your face again. "They keep saying that what I'm going through is a phase. A 'phase'. Can you believe that?" You asked angrily. I kiss your forehead softly.
"It's not a phase," I agree, though I secretly hope it is. I desperately want you to come out of this funk you've found yourself in. I really hate seeing you so frail. You're stronger than this.
\This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know.
I'm everywhere you want me to be.
The last night you'll spend alone,
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go.
I'm everything you need me to be.
The last night away from me...\
"Look at me," I murmur when you look away. You hesitantly look up at me, fearfully and I sigh, kissing your forehead. "You're not going anywhere, okay? You're going to stay right here, in my arms, where I can hold you and protect you." I whisper to you, lips brushing your forehead with each word.
I don't see the tears enter your eyes as I'm still murmuring promises to you, ones that won't be broken for whatever reason.
\The night is so long when everything's wrong
If you give me your hand, I will help you hold on
Tonight,
Tonight.\
"You're lying..." You say scornfully, shaking your head. My eyes soften when I see the hurt and fear in yours. You're afraid to hope, to believe, those meaningless words. "Everything's wrong; you can't keep those promises." You say frantically.
I gently take your hand, kissing the back of it softly. "I'm not going anywhere. Not tonight, not ever." I feel your hand grasp mine tightly and I smile softly as your other hand curls into my shirt, holding on tightly.
\This is the last night you'll spend alone
Look me in the eyes so I know you know.
I'm everywhere you want me to be.
The last night you'll be alone,
I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go.
I'm everything you need me to be.\
"How can you say those words? How do I know you're not lying?" You asked. I gently tilt your head up so our eyes lock. You gasp softly.
"Because I love you and nothing will happen to you anymore." I whisper calmly, letting you read the truth in my eyes.
Within seconds, you press your lips to mine softly before pulling back.
\I won't let you say goodbye,
I'll be your reason why.\
"You're not going to say goodbye to me," I whisper, burying my head into your neck as I hold you tighter. "I'll be your reason to live, okay?"
I feel you nod as you slowly begin to drift into a peaceful sleep. I smile and kiss your forehead, pulling you closer to me with no intention of ever letting go.
Outside, the rain slowly begins to stop falling, letting the starry sky be seen for the first time in months.
\The last night away from me,
Away from me...\