Filius Flitwick paced back and forth along the sand, stroking his moustache. Severus was already twenty minutes late for the date, didn't their non-existent relationship mean anything to him?
He sighed, sitting down next to the oil and grapes, maybe he should return home to Neville's Grandma – she'd let him cover her in oil and hand feed her grapes.
Maybe he could even get her into the daisy duke shorts he'd brought for Snape…
Flitwick was so lost in thought about Neville's Grandma in oil and mini-shorts that he didn't notice Severus come running over the sand dunes.
"Filiuuuuuuuus" He called, throwing down his robes as he ran.
Flitwick looked up instantly to see Snape come running towards him in nothing but pink speedos.
"Severuuuuuus" He shouted as he ran towards him, wondering why they were both moving in slow motion.
"Filiuuuus"
"Severuuuus"
"Fiiiiliuuuuus"
"Seeevverruusss"
"You waited for me." Snape said, as he hugged Flitwick. "I-I thought you would have lef-"
"Shhhhhh" Flitwick interrupted. "Come, let us frolic in the ocean before I cover you in oil."
Snape's eyes lit up. "I knew this would be worth washing my hair for."
"You.. you washed your hair for this?" Flitwick asked, his eyes starting to tear up. "But you never wash your.."
"Shhhhhh" Snape said, "I also shaved my legs."
The end.
I just had to leave you all with that image. XP
Also, I don't own Harry Potter, and if anyone wants to actually expand on any of my stories, that would be amazing (and hilarious). XDD