It Seemed Like A Good Idea At the Time
It was a peaceful day in Soul Society... A little too peaceful. But not in a bad sense... It was just boring the heck out of a certain small, pink-haired lieutenant.
Yachiru strolled through the room humming softly to herself what sounded an awful lot like "Houkiboshi." She walked past a chair, then stopped, and took a few steps back. She looked down at what was on the chair and covered her mouth to prevent herself from cracking up at the sight.
Kenpachi Zaraki was asleep on the chair, his head back and his mouth open, snoring like it was a professional sport. And the way things were going, he could've received a blue ribbon.
Yachiru couldn't resist. She ran away, laughed hysterically, then ran back to her captain.
And that's when she got an idea.
XXXXXXXXXXXX
"Are you sure this is a good idea, Lieutenant?" asked Ikkaku.
Yachiru smiled. "Trust me, Baldy. It's gonna be hilarious. I saw it on TV."
Ikkaku nodded. "And a TV is...?"
"...Well, I don't really know," Yachiru admitted, "but Ichi told me it was pretty funny, and I believe him."
"Okay, if you say so..." Ikkaku agreed, still not thinking this was the best idea.
He and Yachiru then went on to stick a plastic straw on each and every one of Kenpachi's hair-spikes. Where did they get the straws, you ask?... Ah, who knows?
By the time they'd finished, the killing captain was a sight to behold. It took all of Yachiru and Ikkaku's strength not to break down and laugh... which became even harder to resist when Yumichika walked over curiously.
"What are you two doing?" he asked.
Ikkaku didn't trust his voice, so he pointed to Kenpachi, his eyes tearing.
Yumichika looked down and seemed totally unfazed. Then he did a double-take, looked at Kenpachi again, and assumed the same position as Yachiru and Ikkaku.
The three ran away, cracked up, then ran back.
"You did all that?" asked Yumichika, wiping a tear from his peacock-like eye. The other two nodded. Yumichika sighed. "Aw man, that's funny." Then his eyes lit up as he exclaimed, "I have an idea!"
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Kenpachi awoke to hear a strange clacking sound nearby. What the...? Suddenly, something thunked lightly onto his head. He turned around, an odd look on his face, and was immediately met with a metal ring flung right at his forehead.
He blinked. Yachiru, Ikkaku, and Yumichika were holding a few small rings in their hands, trying to toss them onto Kenpachi's head so that they would land on the straws. He narrowed his eyes and sinisterly asked, "Who... threw that?"
The three gulped. Then with a "He/She did!", they all pointed to each other. Although somehow, Yumichika found himself pointing in his own direction before redirecting his accusation toward Yachiru.
Kenpachi sweatdropped. "Do I even want to know what you did to my head?"
Ikkaku smiled nervously. "Uh, honestly, Captain... No."
"You don't, Kenny," agreed Yachiru, "trust me."
However, despite his questioning, Kenpachi didn't really give a whoopee cushion. "Ikkaku."
"Y-yes, Captain?"
"Bend down."
As confused as he suddenly was, Ikkaku did as he was instructed and bent forward so that his head was facing Kenpachi. "Like this?"
Kenpachi nodded, then stared at Ikkaku's head until he could see his reflection. When he did, he almost jumped out of the chair. Then he glared at the three stooges standing before him. "Who did this?"
The others stared at each other. "W-well," Yumichika began, "Lieutenant Kusajishi came up with it..."
"But Baldy went along with it..."
"But Yumichika got the idea to do the ring toss..."
"So I'm innocent!" all three shouted.
Kenpachi continued to glare. "Well... y'know what I'm gonna do?" Another gulp escaped the three. Then Kenpachi stood up and smirked wickedly. "Yachiru."
"Yes, Kenny?"
The smile spread across Kenpachi's face. "You just gave me an idea."
XXXXXXXXXXXX
Byakuya was awakened by a weird noise emitting from his head, and another one from behind him. The latter sounded like people talking... To be specific, a few members of Squad 11.
"Ah, so close."
"Almost had it."
"My turn."
Then there was a noise that resembled something being blown, and following was the first noise again. This time, however, the sound was sharper, and Byakuya couldn't help but twitch for some reason.
"YES!"
The cheer was followed by a smack, and then... silence.
Byakuya turned around and saw Kenpachi, Yachiru, Ikkaku, and Yumichika sitting behind him, all four holding a straw in their hands. Ikkaku's eyes were wide and he had a hand clamped over his mouth.
After a brief tumbleweed-worthy moment, Byakuya dropped his head slightly and held out his hands in front of him. Sure enough, small marbles rolled off his kenseikan and into his hands. He lifted his head and stared the four down. They stared back.
Then Ikkaku dropped his hand and said, "Oh, uh, look at the time, I have to, uh... wax my head!" He sprinted away.
"...Hey, is that a mirror?" With that, Yumichika disappeared.
Kenpachi just silently zoomed away.
"You missed one, Bya-chan," Yachiru pointed out before having her arm grabbed by Kenpachi. She was then yanked away with him.
Byakuya sighed, and one last marble fell from his head. Then he went to find Renji to have him act as a bodyguard the next time he fell asleep in public.
-----------------------
yeah, the ring toss thing is from America's Funniest Home Videos, in case anyone cares. the other thing, I just made up to poke a little fun at Byakuya, seeing as, a) I don't like him, and b) that thing looks like a freakin' set of roof shingles.
okay, I'm done ranting. you know what to do:)
