I was up long before he was. I like to hear the sound of heavy rain and thunder, it calms me. I looked over from my spot on the couch to his bed and I watched him shift uncomfortably. I waited quietly for the moment for him to wake. I couldn't hold back the whine of worry as I felt his fear clench my chest. Whatever he was dreaming of was causing so much pain to the both of us.
The lightening struck and moments later, thunder boomed, and he sat up in a cold sweat, gasping for air. His silver hair clung to his naked chest, ears swiveling frantically as he searched for signs of me.
'It's ok,' I thought comfortingly, 'it was just a nightmare.'
I inhaled deeply searching his scent for signs of relief, but there wasn't any. I jumped down from my couch my pads and nails clicking softly on the hardwood floor. He sighed as I crawled into his lap nuzzling my head against his chest. He chuckled as he petted me.
"Oh Kagome, I'll never understand why you picked a Doberman of all animals to chose as a Familiar."
I growled playfully.
'What are you trying to say, Inuyasha? I'm not a pretty girl?' I rolled onto my back as he gently rubbed my belly.
"I never said that." He said seriously.
I sat up and looked into his eyes, willing my magic to penetrate his mind. My eyes glowed, and his golden ones allowed me to enter his mind. He was still blocking me from something. He wouldn't let me in. I felt sadness, anger, and betrayal roll off of him in waves. Yet, I couldn't find the source; he kept derailing my magic.
"Stop it Kagome. I don't want to talk about it."
'Inuyasha, when will you let me in? You can't keep seperating me from you forever!' I thought exasperated.
"I am the Master. You are my Familiar. You WILL obey my commands. I said I'm not ready."
'Then what is the point of having a Familiar? Of having me here if you won't let me help you? You're a demon witch, MY demon witch.'
"I said I'm not ready, wench, now fucking drop it." He growled at me and got up making his way to the bathroom, and turning on the shower.
I barked loudly, a frustrated sound and stalked off to the living room. I paced the floor, irritated with him. As much as I hated this there was nothing I could do for him if he didn't let me help. My muscles tensed and then relaxed as I shook out the negative energy from my body, the only audible sound, the red collar adorned on my neck jingled as I moved.
I heard the shower turn off, and the hair dryer starting to run. I padded my way down the hall. Inuyasha never said anything, but I knew he needed me. I could feel it in both my Familiar form and my human one. I had to set aside my frustrations and be what he needed. I walked in just in time to see him walk out dry as could be in nothing but boxers tossing his damp towel on the bed. If I had been in my human form I would have blushed from embarrassment, but I just wanted him to be ok. He sat on the edge of the bed head down in his hands and I jumped up behind him, leaning against him. It always made him feel better.
"I know you're right," he began and waited for a response, but when I gave none he continued, "I know I have to open up to someone. I just- don't know where to start."
I sat silently, my head perched on his shoulder as he petted my snout; I nuzzled into his neck, waited on baited breath for him to continue.
"It's my mother. She was murdered when I was just a child. I became a witch to find her killer, and now its been so long... I just. I don't know." He whispered quietly.
I pulled my head back, and willed my body to change its form. This was a conversation I needed to have with him. I closed my eyes to concentrate on transforming as fast as I could. My body glowed warm, and soon my fur was replaced with human skin, hands and nails took over my pads and claws. My hair was long reaching mid back and black again just like the color of my fur. The only thing remaining was the red collar he had given me; latched comfortably around my neck.
He froze as he felt my naked form against his back, but did not turn to look at me to give me my privacy. I reached for the damp towel at his side and stood, wrapping my nakedness in it. The sound of my feet on the floor was almost foreign to me, but I walked over and kneeled before him.
His face was still buried in his hands. I could feel emotions rolling off of him in waves. I reached up to his face, pulling his hands down. I took his face into my hands, and I smiled tenderly.
"Its going to be ok. I promise." I whispered and with that I opened the path to his mind with my magic.
Our eyes glowed together, and this time there was no barrier. Immediately my heart constricted in pain. Images of a beautiful woman appeared in my mind, phrases and kind words she used to say to him. The love she had for him shone like the only light in his mind of darkness.
It was no longer a coherent train of thought. It was raw emotion that he had buried so deep with in him that it exploded into my mind and soul. It was like drawing poison from a wound and then ingesting it yourself. I saw happy moments of his childhood filled with love and affection from her. Finally, it came to the moment of her death, and I saw her mangled body, broken and bleeding. I saw him destroyed over her, crying with promises of vengence and tears of immense pain at such a young age. After, came the feelings of helplessness, anger, hurt, and as time passed, a worthless failed monster. I could take no more.
I gasped and closed the connection, bringing us back. I couldn't stand the pain, and tears fell from the corners of my eyes. His ears drooped as I spoke and my voice quivered.
"You listen to me now," I said with conviction, "you are not a monster."
I forced his eyes to meet mine, determined to make him understand.
"What happened to you and your mother is a terrible thing," I began tears falling from my face, "and no child should have to suffer through that."
"Wherever your mother is, do you really think that she would want you to carry on suffering like this? Do you think she would be ok knowing that you think you've failed her, that you think yourself a monster? Do you think she wants her only son so suffer and be unhappy because of her death?" I whispered gently.
His eyebrows furrowed in anger at first, then they softened to me. His clawed hands reached up to wipe my tears away, but more came.
"Let me show you, what I see." Without losing a moment I opened our mental link and poured into him every ounce of love that I ever had. Memories of happiness, of comfort, of joy. Times of great pride, and even some of anger with resolution. I poured into him the feelings I've always had for him, and in that moment I realized I had commited one of the highest crimes I could commit in our society against our kind. Me, a Familiar, had fallen in love with her master, a demon witch.
I quickly severed our connection before he could realize my true feelings and looked away, wiping my own tears.
"Kagome... I-" he stopped and I looked back at him as he chose his words carefully, "Kagome, you are my Familiar, you are bound to me for your life, as I am bound to you for the remainder of mine. You're obligated to care for my feelings. It is your duty, just as it is mine to care for yours. That doesn't mean you care about this monster that I am."
Anger filled me. Downsizing my feelings again? Really?
"You are an oblivious fool, Inuyasha. Oblivous and stupid."
My anger was so intense that I could barely contain myself. I plunged into his mind, and pulled him into mine. I remembered the day he brought that stupid witch home, Kikyo. He winced internally, but I continued out of spite not caring whether he was still hurt over it or not. Now it was my turn to slam reality into his face.
I remember the intense jealously I felt. The anger and resentment, and I never understood why. I had reasoned with myself that it was because I knew she was a bad witch and I was just trying to protect my master, but now I knew why. I knew I was in love with him, and I didn't hide it this time. I let him feel my jealousy and remembered the many fights I had with him about her, and how she couldn't be trusted, but he was happy... that someone loved him, and so with great pains I let it go, hoping and praying that I was wrong about her.
I remembered the day that he found out that I was right about her, and he was devastated. He smelled the other man on her, as did I. It took all of my willpower not to track her down and rip her limb from limb. The need for vengeance was so great, and how much I wanted to protect him from her. I let him feel the love I had for him because nothing has ever made me happier, than to see him happy.
My anger ebbed, as I showed him this, and now my heart was filled with fear of rejection. I gently closed our link, and I took a breath. It was now or never.
"Kagome..."
I said nothing, and I stood up to walk away and change back into my Famiilar form, but he grabbed my arm and turned me towards him.
In all but a moment his lips were on mine, and I froze in surprise. His hands wrapped themselves around my back drawing me to him, and he didn't stop kissing me. My eyes closed and I began kissing him back, hoping that this was real. His lips were soft on mine and tender for such a rough person. I smiled against him, happiness seeping from me.
"Inuyasha, this is wrong," I said timidly, placing my hand on his chest to stop him, "I am not allowed to love you this way."
"Why?" He whispered against my lips.
"It's cardinal law, you know that its against the rules." I whispered back not really wanting to part from him.
"Fuck the rules. You know I've never been much of a rule follower." He said with a toothy grin. He gently reached towards my collar and began unbuckling it.
"But-" I said reaching for it.
"This is how I've always wanted you. This is how you'll stay with me from now on." He removed it completely and then began kissing my neck up to my lips.
I couldn't hold my excitment anymore, and as he kissed me our mental link joined. All I saw from him was my face. Everytime we laughed together, when I would cry, when I would be angry with him. Moments that I didn't even know he was looking at me were all ingrained in his memory. My hands roamed his chest and I'm sure he could smell how wet I was for him. His hands pulled at the towel, and he pulled back, looking at my entire body. My hands instinctively went to my chest, hiding my breasts from his view, but he stopped them gently trailing a clawed finger over my nipples making them harden.
"Don't hide from me please, You are so beautiful." he whispered against my neck, and I melted right there.
"Take a shower with me?" I asked quietly afraid of the answer. He smiled at me.
"Yes please." He whispered back politely.
I ran the water until it was so hot I almost couldn't stand it. The pain would make the nervousness go away. I climbed in and he followed. I didn't know what do to. I stepped into the water and began wetting my hair; keeping my eyes closed.
"I'm sorry," I said ," I just haven't done this with anyone in a long time. It's... really hard for me to do this. I guess I didn't realize how nervous I really am."
His eyebrows furrowed with confusion, almost as if I didn't speak English and he couldn't understand anything I had just said.
"It's ok. We can take this slow."
It made me red with shame. I turned around to face away from him and tried to analyze why I felt shame. I felt like just jumping out of the tub and hiding in the closet until I died. This was such a bad idea. I trembled a little bit. My emotions were getting out of control. If I didn't get my shit together quick I'd turn around and cry like a little girl. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself. Before I knew it he grabbed my waist and turned me, his lips crashing onto mine. Then, like always, everything melted away but him. Nothing else mattered just the feel of him; his lips on mine, his hands caressing me and touching me everywhere.
I moaned into him and my body automatically reacted pulling myself closer to him. His hands slid down the sides of my body resting on my hips and squeezing me. My hands followed but they rested on him, hard and ready. He moaned into my lips as I tugged on it. I swirled it in my fingers and squeezed until I could feel him get a little wet. His hands cupped my face madly, lips pressing harder against me , hips moving into mine. I smiled devilishly at him. All insecurity forgotten, I pulled away and soaped myself up and there he was, eyes in disbelief and he walked towards me.
His hands went straight down there and without hesitation plunged into me. My hand hit the wall as I felt myself tighten around his finger.
"Mmm you're nice and wet for me." he whispered against my lips. I opened my mouth to speak but no sound came out just the look of sheer pleasure on my face. He kissed me once more then lifted me up against the shower wall and pinned me. I used my hands to brace against anything that was there and then I felt him ease his way inside me, slowly filling me up.
"Oh God!" I whispered loudly and gripped one shoulder as he slowly pushed inside of me.
I stood on my tip toes and I watched as he moved his hips to push in and out of me slowly. He touched me everywhere and I couldn't stop moaning. My breathing was erratic. Our bodies were so wet and the water was making my hair cling to everything .
Our eyes met, and I couldn't help but look at him. His face was contorted into a look of sweet agony, just like mine. He loved me. I could see it in the way he looked at me. He thrusted inside and pulled me closer to him. His lips claimed mine, and in that kiss he claimed me.
I had never felt truly loved and wanted like I had with this man. He had kissed me with such urgency like he couldn't stand it. I was his, and only his. I kissed him back just as passionately. I wanted to be with him and no one else. No one else could ever make me feel the way that he made me feel. No one could ever love me the way he does. I belonged to him so thoroughly so completely that no one else existed in my world.
In one swift motion everything changed, and the tightening inside me began. He pulled out of me and turned my hips so that my back was to his chest, and in one move bent me over and slammed himself inside of me. My hands crashed against the bathroom wall and I screamed in ultimate pleasure. I could feel my orgasm beginning to build inside if me. I could feel every inch of him pulling and pushing in and out of me, hard. Each thrust made me moan until finally he did something completely unexpected .
His hand reached under me and began playing with my clit as he made love to me. He tapped it and rubbed it as he penetrated me. I was moaning so loudly, uncaring of who could hear me; until finally the delicious tightening in my lower stomach gave way. I came so hard my legs shook while I stood and my screams pierced every ear within a twenty five foot radius.
He slammed one hand against the wall, moaning as the other gripped my hip to him as he came inside me. We were both out of breath, and my legs where so wobbly I thought I would fall. I was dripping wet with my cum, and was grateful that the water masked it as it ran down the inside of my legs. He pulled out of me so gently and turned me around kissing me gently as the water ran down our bodies.
"You will always be mine," he began forcefully, "You belong to me and I belong to you, and that will never change."
I smiled, he didn't have to tell me that he loved me that was all I needed from him.