My name? It's Remus Lupin .
I am tall and I am frightening. I am a werewolf.
XXX
"Remus… How can you say that?" I would ask. The books would hit the floor in the haste of desperation as I turn, knocking into the bookshelf containing all of the books he holds dear.
I would look at the floor. At the pages as they splayed… And then… then… I would look at him.
"… I love you, Remus…" I would breathe. He would already be gone. Leaving the things he holds dear. I would be compelled to fix those books. But he wouldn't be here to admire the work. Not that he would admire it, that is.
I can't help it.
We've all got obsessions.
XXX
"Dora… I-I can't. Look at me. Look at me!" I would roar, "I'm a monster! You can't live like this!"
Those books are important to me; the great classics of my world. Dora knew this, and she would keep them in order, just to make me smile.
And when she turned to face me, when I uttered those words…
"Dora… I'm leaving you. You deserve better –"
"Remus… How can you say that?"
…And those books hit the ground. And I could see the pain in her eyes. The eyes that stared at my loves, my literature loves. And she would look at those books, her tears falling, glittering…
And those eyes would glance up, and stare into mine. I would turn and leave, barely out of the door when I hear it…
"…I love you, Remus…"
XXXI would brush my teeth in the morning, and in he would walk. I would smile, the spearmint toothpaste smeared on my lips.
He would frown.
"We can't!" he would say, "You know I can't take the risk! If the baby was like me, I –"
"Remus, if you loved me at all, you –"
"It isn't about you, Nymphadora! Don't you underst-"
"Okay; One: who the hell is it about then, Remus? Two: –"
"Nymphadora –"
" Two: Don't call me Nymaphadora! Three: I do understand, but your stupid qualms –"
He slapped me across the face. My head snapped round, tears flying. I raised a hand to my burning cheek, turning and running… just away.
XXX
She would return, her hair a mousy brown.
"I am sorry, Dora, I just couldn't let you talk me into this!"
She would stand in silence, staring into my eyes. It was the silence that hurt me the most.
XXX
I would walk across to him, and keep staring. I would let my love for him take over.
He raised a hand to my reddened cheek and before I knew it, our lips were locked, fierce and strong.
We moved with each other, and in our embrace, he gave me that bliss I longed for.
In the morning I would wake, to find him sitting crouched over.
"We can't, Dora…" he whispered, "Not again…"
"You are not a wild monster, Remus. You are the man of my wildest dreams."
"Yes, but-"
"No buts, no ifs and no maybes…"
"You can't be pregnant. Not by me." He said bluntly, suddenly furious "I would never inflict that on a child."
I would move away. His own faults cloud his judgement…
"What I desire…" I breathed, "Is what I desire… and I can't change that…"
His gaze was blazing. "For. Me?" he spat.
And I wanted to make him happy… So I agreed.
XXX
She agreed.
She would come and sit with me, happy in my arms.
She would organise my books.
And I would watch, happy with the two of us. Her and I.
We've all got obsessions. No, we all have reasons.
XXX
I let out a small wail, doubled over against the bathroom wall.
I looked at the pregnancy test once more, sure of the muggle device.
A tear would fall. I would feel vulnerable.
It would fall, straight to the ground, as I stared at the only test I ever wanted to fail… And the only test I cared about winning.
I would cry in joy and grief.
XXX
My name? It's Dora Tonks.
I am small and I am caring. I am pregnant.
XXX