Never Wake

by: Liv-x-Case-Benson & dcmasters

Ch. 1: Hard Hit

A wide, permanent smile seemed to be glued on the brunette's face. The day had finally arrived.

They'd spent many years going back and forth flirting. A shy smile, the turn of their heads. But it still took years for them to admit anything. Well, years and a night of drinking. It wasn't different from any other night, until the brunette had found herself feeling jealous of the guys at the bar trying, in vain, to get the redhead's attention. Not that she had taken the offers.

A year after that night, under the light of a sparkling sky and full moon, the redhead, unexpectedly, dropped to one knee with her nerves on the outside. Sara, after crying for a couple minutes because she really hadn't seen this coming, – they had barely discussed anything, so Sara assumed it was still about another year away – excitedly accepted.

Now, eight months later to the day, she stood in the church. Her dress was pure white, sleeveless, and dipped just the right way, the veil over her face, not making it difficult to see, but her vision was a little impeded.

"You look beautiful," came a soft whisper from the redhead who wore the widest smile as she took Sara's hands in her own, thumbs softly brushing the backs.

Sara grinned. "You look gorgeous."

Catherine looked deeply into Sara's eyes as the ceremony began. She was so incredibly happy. Never before has a relationship seemed so right, so perfect. Sara made her feel like she was the only person in the world that mattered, and when the brunette had accepted the proposal that some may have considered too soon, from that moment on she'd felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

Soon their rings were exchanged and vows were said, but just as their lips were a second away, Sara woke up.

Sitting up, she wiped her eyes. It was always the same dream. Catherine had been gone for almost ten years now and she felt it every day. Especially on their anniversary.

Soon, she heard little knocks coming from the other side of the bedroom door. Sara sighed, turning on the lamp. It was their twins. They were born three years before Catherine had been tragically hit by an oncoming car in the dead of night, Mason and Madison, but, being so young, they didn't remember much. They only knew that Mama wasn't coming back. "Come in."

The twins rushed in and moved onto the bed as they both hugged Sara. They'd heard her crying. "It's ok Mom," Madison whispered.

Sara smiled softly, ruffling their heads, hugging them tightly. They were seven now. Madison looked just like Sara, while Mason looked like Catherine, right down to his hair.

"I know we didn't have much time, but we miss her too," Mason said softly.

"What do you remember?"

"Her perfume. She always smelt of roses."

She smiled widely. "Anything else?"

"She always hummed when she cooked," Madison replied.

Sara nodded. "And she always cooked at night. We'd come home, send grandma home, and she would always insist on hugging you two and Lindsay before bed."

"Mama always said she loved us. And I remember she told you she loved you before she left the house, even if she was just washing the car," Mason giggled.

"Exactly..." she sighed. "You know, I think we should get some sleep, okay guys?" Sara said. She wasn't able to hold things back for their benefit anymore. It was just too painful.

They nodded before Mason shot his twin a worried look. "We weren't going to say anything..."

Sara shook her head. "Say what?"

"Lindsay's gone out again," Madison offered.

Catherine's death had hit the young girl hard. If losing one parent wasn't enough for the poor kid to cope with, she had to lose both. Her teenage years had been a struggle for the whole family. She'd stay out late, skip school and often disappear in the small hours. To where, God only knew.

Sara sighed. "Well, I'm not leaving you two here alone," she said, calling Lily to come over as she dressed.

Lily arrived within fifteen minutes. She had become somewhat accustomed to calls in the middle of the night asking her to come over. Using her key, she gained access and when she found Sara she pulled her into a tight hug. "Go, we'll be ok here."

Sara nodded. "I wish she'd quit doing this and just talk to me," she said, zipping up her jacket.

"We all do. But she'll be seventeen soon, it's a difficult age, and, well, she only ever confided in her mother."

Sara sighed. "Luckily, she always goes to the park," she said, leaving the house and driving a few blocks until she saw Lindsay sitting on a bench. Sighing, she killed the engine, pulling the keys and getting out, walking up slowly.

It was the same bench Catherine always insisted they sat on. The one under the big oak tree which provided just enough shade, but equally enough sunlight on a summer day. Tears glistened on Lindsay's cheeks under the soft lamplight that lit the park, her voice a whisper, "You always knew what to do, Mom. I wish you were here. I don't know what to do."

Sara sat on the other end silently. "You could try to talk to me. Linds, I know I'm not her and I never will be, but I've always loved you like you were ours. Honey, you know she would want you to talk to me."

"You'd be disappointed," Lindsay offered, brushing the tears from her cheek as she gave a sniff.

"Honey, nothing you could ever do could disappoint me. Please tell me," she asked, offering her hand in support.

Lindsay's glanced sideways at the hand before taking it. "Mom would say... it's ok, Linds, we'll figure it out... I never understood why she always thought I could do no wrong. Why nothing I ever did was a big deal."

"Because, compared to the job, you were her reason for getting up and fighting. You're her little girl, even now. She still loves you," Sara said, scooting closer. "And I love you too."

The tears which had ceased now returned and coursed quickly down the young girl's cheeks. Quickly, her head found Sara's shoulder and, for the first time, she clung tightly to the brunette.

Sara held her tightly, kissing her head and stroking her hair. "I'm still here, kid. I'm not going away and we all love you."

"I..." Lindsay managed as she felt a hard lump for in her throat. She attempted to swallow it several times, managing to find her voice a couple of minutes later. "I'm pregnant," she whispered softly, her cries evolving to loud sobs.

Sara pulled the teen into her lap, holding her tightly. "Shhh... It's going to be okay. We'll figure it out," she said as the shock wore off, kissing her head.

Lindsay gave a soft laugh, wiping her tears. "You sounded just like Mom."

Sara smiled. "Well, maybe it's because I am one. Do you know who the father is?"

Lindsay shook her head. "Please don't hate me," she whispered.

"Honey, nothing you could ever do would make me hate you. When did it happen?"

"It wasn't just the once."

"Then how can you not-unless... Sweetie, were you...raped?" she asked gently.

Lindsay buried her head against Sara's shoulder. "I don't remember."

"Were you drunk? At a party?"

"Both. I don't want to talk anymore."

Sara nodded. "Ok. But will you do something for me?"

"What?" Lindsay asked, looking up at her.

Sara bit her lip. "Come with me to get checked over for disease and infections? Honey, I-I get you don't want to talk about it anymore and, okay that's fine, but I just want to make sure you're still healthy. Then, whenever you want, we can talk more about what you want to do."

"I already got tested," Lindsay confessed. "But I will let you take me to the doctor. I need something a little better than blue lines on a few plastic sticks."

"That's good thing, sweetie, that you went without my asking. How about I keep you from school tomorrow and we'll go see a doctor after I drop the twins at grandma's?"

Lindsay nodded as a bright beam of light shone down, a helicopter circling the park.

Seconds later, Nick approached. "You two ok?"

Sara held her tight. "We're fine. What's with the search and rescue? I didn't call you."

Nick laughed. "DB on the west side of the park. We're just being thorough."

Sara sighed. "Well, if I had my kit, I might join in."

Lindsay pulled back from Sara, looking between them for a moment. "I wanna see," she said, "the scene, I mean."

Sara smiled. "Hang on, I'll be right back," she said, going to her car and grabbing the vests. Plural. She walked back over after pulling hers on. "Here, I was keeping this for sentimental value, but I think she'd want you to have it," she said, handing her Catherine's vest.

Lindsay ran her hands over the name tag. "Thanks," she smiled, carefully putting it on. It was the first time she'd shown an interest in anything for years.

Sara smiled, wrapping an arm around her. "Maybe we can have your name sewn in underneath, huh?"

"I like it the way it is," Lindsay smiled, leaning into her.

Sara nodded. "Okay, do we have any signs to go by?"

"Shot. Through and through," Nick said, "No immediate sign of any weapon. Now, Lindsay, I know you've never attended a scene before, so anything you're not sure about ask myself or Sara."

Sara nodded, handing her an extra flashlight. "Be careful where you step. Evidence could be anywhere. If there's anything you think we need, tell us, ok? What are we looking for then?"

Lindsay nodded, looking around slowly.

"Footprint. The usual," he replied, taking Sara aside. "Is she ok?"

Sara shook her head. "Not now, ok?"

"She told you?" he asked, kneeling down to the body to collect some evidence.

"Wait...how did you know?"

"She came to the lab after. Wanted to report it. I'm sorry, I swore I wouldn't tell you. She didn't want you to worry."

Sara nodded. "It's alright. At least she didn't just let it go. But now...she might have more than she could ever want."

"Ah... well, for tonight, we should make her focus on the case."

"I agree," she said.

"Hey, Sara..." Lindsay called.

Sara walked closer. "Yeah?"

"Bullet," she indicated, shining her flashlight at the ground.

"Nice spot. Nick?"

"Yeah?" he asked, joining them.

"Bullet. I don't have anything else on me."

He nodded, picking it up with his tweezers and placing it in an evidence bag. "Good spot. We'll stay a while longer then head back to the lab."

Sara nodded, stepping back to tell Lily what was going on.

When they arrived at the lab, Lindsay looked around. It was so different to how she'd seen it last time. The young girl automatically walked toward her mother's office before stopping.

Sara smiled. "What is it?"

"Is it still... her office?"

"Technically, yes and mine. It's mine now. I gave up my office and moved in after..." she sighed. "You can go sit in there if you want. It should be open."

"It's ok, I get it. You wanted to feel closer to her."

"Yeah, but I didn't change much. All her things are still there, just in a little different spot. It really has been a long time since you've been here."

"Show it to me."

Sara nodded, hanging up her jacket before leading her down the hall. It was always a little errie because she always expected Cath to be in before her or not have gone home. She did it so often before the twins were born...

Lindsay smiled when she saw the pictures of all five of them on the shelf. "She loved that one at the park."

Sara smiled, sitting behind the desk. "She did."

"It's your ten year wedding anniversary tomorrow, right?" she asked suddenly.

She nodded. "Yes, why?"

"I remember it like it was yesterday," Lindsay smiled, staring at a picture of her mother.

"I always end up dreaming of it the day before. Right before we kiss, I wake up," Sara said, sighing.

Lindsay turned and approached Sara, leaning against the desk. "I..."

"Yeah?"

"Mom would want you to smile. That's all."

"I know, but it's kind of hard anymore."

Lindsay nodded. "I understand. I do. But I need you, and the twins need you. We need you to smile."

Sara smiled, hugging her tightly. "I know, but even after ten years, it still feels fresh."

"I'm sorry I've been so horrible."

"It's not all your fault. Teen years are supposed to be crazy."

Lindsay gave a small smile. "I love you too, by the way."

"I love you too. So, should we go analyze?"

Lindsay nodded, but returned to the office a couple of hours later, curling up on the small couch, clinging to a picture of Catherine as she fell asleep.

Sara smiled upon finding her after she was finished, shaking her shoulder gently. "Let's go home."

Lindsay gave a soft yawn, as she sat up, then stood to place the picture back on the shelf before tucking something into her pocket. "What time is it?"

"2:45."

"Can I stay in with you tonight?"

Sara nodded, leading her out to the car. "Absolutely."

When they arrived home, Lindsay went to change as Lily approached Sara. "How is she?"

"Ok, for the most part I guess," she said.

"I trust you. I'll get out of your hair," Lily smiled.

"Wait," Sara said.

Lily turned back. "Yes?"

Sara bit her lip. "I'm taking Lindsay to the doctor tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes."

Lily smiled with appreciation. "I'd like that. Goodnight, Sara."

"Goodnight," she said, walking back to the twins' room, kissing their heads before going into the bedroom.

Lindsay was already curled up on her mother's side, hugging the pillow tightly.

Sara walked into the bathroom to change, then laid down. "Hey..."

Lindsay rolled to face her. "Hi," she smiled. "You meant it before when you said everything was going to be ok, right?"

Sara nodded, hugging her. "Yes sweetie. We'll figure it out."

Lindsay smiled, nodding. "We should sleep."

"I love you."

"Love you too," she whispered sleepily, "Night... Mom."

"Night honey," Sara said, falling asleep.

Lindsay fell into the most peaceful sleep she'd had in years.

Author's Note: Okay guys, new pairing...eventually. Tell me what you think!