AN: I have had this idea for months, and have finally had the time to make this. Spirited Away is a great film, and I recommend it to all anime lovers. I also recommend Laputa: Castle in the Sky, and any of the Inuyasha movies. This is a oneshot sonfic based on the song "Comatose" by Skillet. The lyrics are in bold.
Disclaimer: I do not own Spirited Away or "Comatose", for they belong to Hayao Miyazaki and Skillet respectively.
Comatose
"Haku!" scream Chihiro as she sat bolt upright in her bed, gripping her blue covers for dear life. She relaxed as she looked around the room, recognizing the furniture that stood out in the darkness. She wiped her sweaty forehead and reached under her pillow, withdrawing a white notebook and blue pen. She hurriedly flipped it open, her trembling hands pawing through the worn pages. Every detail of her adventure in the Spirit World was in there, as was her life after she left. It had been 8 years since she last saw Lin, Yamajii, Zeniba, and Haku. Every night since her departure, she had had a nightmare. Each nightmare was dissimilar, and when she thought she had dreamed the worst, she was always horribly mistaken.
This night was no different. She had given up her hopes for reassuring dreams, but she always dreamed of him. Haku. She could not get him out of her mind. It hurt so much.
I hate feeling like this
I'm so tired of trying to fight this
I'm asleep and all I dream of
Is waking to you
Every night she dreamt that he would leave her to die, or even kill her himself. The dreams have been making her sick. She never got any sleep, and she always hoped that someday Haku would come and save her from the world she doesn't belong to anymore. But soon, that hope dwindled until she was hanging onto it by a mere thread. She didn't want to fight anymore. She had given up.
"Haku, you said that I would see you again! Why haven't you come for me? Do you not even listen to me?" whispered Chihiro as she unconsciously crushed a page of the notebook. She looked down to see an old drawing of Haku in his dragon form, his sketchy main practically glowing. Taped on that page was also her purple hairband, for she preferred to wear her hair down now. Her long bangs covered the tops of her eyes, while her waist length chestnut hair hid her face from view.
Chihiro pushed aside her unruly hair, glancing at the picture again. Haku was so close, yet so far. Her parents had moved away from her, leaving her with the house. She was so close to the Spirit World, but she could never find a way to go back. She needed him by her side, comforting her with his loving touch, while his gentle green eyes looked softly into her brown eyes. Chihiro sniffled as she realized that he may never come. She had hid herself from the world, only to find that it was for a lost cause.
Tell me that you will listen
Your touch is what I'm missing
And the more I hide I realize
I'm slowly losing you
Comatose
I'll never wake up without an overdose of you
Chihiro awoke from her thoughts and slipped out of bed, careful not to wake the dog sleeping on the floor. Her black cocker spaniel, Soot, reminded her of the Spirit World every time she looked at him.
She smiled softly at Soot, and stepped into her shoes. She quietly tip-toed from the room, closing the door behind her carefully. She walked down her steps, and to the back door, her hand almost reaching the knob. Chihiro hesitantly turned the knob with shaking hands, letting the door open with the force of the midnight breeze. She stepped out into the dark night, closing the door behind her.
Chihiro walked along the path to the woods, coughing every now and again. She remembered walking this path so many times, but never has she felt so dreary while traveling down this trail. A strange sense of loss had found its way into her heart, and each step felt like a knife attacking her thoughts. Chihiro dragged on, the pain weakening her heart.
She found her special resting place: a rock near the gate to the Spirit World. She would always come here for comfort, waiting for Haku to return to her. Now, she just came here to get away from the world.
Chihiro sat down on the rock, thinking intently. She didn't want to go on living like this. Chihiro was despondent, knowing that she was not living her life right. She couldn't keep waiting forever, could she? She wants Haku next to her, comforting her with his warm embrace. Nothing has been able to drag her from this state, and if Haku can't, no one can. And her dreams every night make it worse. How can she keep this up?
I don't wanna live, I don't wanna breathe
'Less I feel you next to me
You take the pain I feel
(Waking up to you never felt so real)
I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna dream
'Cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way you make me feel
(Waking up to you never felt so real)
Chihiro leaned on her hands, sniffling in the process. She shivered and mentally scolded herself for leaving her house without a jacket. Her long hair hung over her face and she held back tears. What was wrong with her? She never cries. The last time she cried was when her parents moved away 2 years ago, but the tears quickly dissolved.
Chihiro wiped her face, looking around her in the darkness. She saw the side of the gate to the Spirit World, and sadly studied the wall. She remembered the time she had spent there. The memories came back to her in a flash, but one stood out in particular.
Flashback (In Chihiro's POV)
Haku and I run up the path, towards the river. We slowed down on the edge of the road, where I realized something was different.
"There's no water here. I can walk across now," I said.
"But I can't go any farther," I heard Haku say. He turned to look at me, and I looked at him.
"Just go back the way you came. You'll be fine," Haku continued. "But you have to promise not to look back, not until you've passed through the tunnel."
I turned a concerned look his way.
"What about you? What will you do?" I asked. He perked up a bit.
"Don't worry. I'll go back and have a talk with Yubaba. I'll tell her I'm going to quit being her apprentice," he answered.
We turned to directly face each other, and Haku spoke again.
"I'm fine. I got my name back," he reassured. I stepped closer to him, my hand in his.
"Will we meet again sometime?" I asked.
"Sure we will," he answered. I stepped even closer.
"Promise?" I asked, unsure and worried.
"Promise," he confirmed. He held my hand out, urging me forward. I stepped closer to the steps, my eyes on Haku.
"Now go, and don't look back," Haku ordered. I gave him one last look, and turned away. My feet carried me slowly down the steps, and I felt my arm stretching to hold onto Haku. Slowly, our hands slipped apart. I ran down the hill, down into a narrow ditch, where I stopped. I heard my mother calling out to me.
"Chihiro! Where have you been? Hurry up!" I looked down and saw my father waving his arm, before he put it down and my parents stood there, waiting for me. I ran down to them, and called out to them.
"Mom! Dad!" I yelled.
"You shouldn't run off like that, honey," my mom started.
"You could get in big trouble," finished my dad. He and my mom turned to enter the tunnel.
"Are you guys sure you're alright?" I asked them.
"Let's go. I don't want to miss the movers," my mom said. I knew that they were alright.
I felt the need to turn back, and my head starting rotating. I flinched and stopped myself, remembering what Haku had said. I ran back to my parents, who told me to hurry, and we all entered the tunnel.
End Flashback
She thought about her promise with Haku. 'Will we ever meet again?' thought Chihiro. She quickly shook that thought from her head. Of course he would come. He had to come.
Chihiro thought more of Haku's promise. If he didn't come, what would she do? She had been waiting for 8 years, and she felt as though she could not wait any longer. Her mind told her that she should give up.
"No," Chihiro said out loud. "I have to wait. I believe in him."
I hate living without you
Dead wrong to ever doubt you
But my demons lay in waiting
Tempting me away
Chihiro coughed as she thought of Haku. She felt this queasy feeling in her stomach. Chihiro grabbed her stomach, and leaned forward on the rock. As she leaned forward, she felt moisture on her neck. She looked up to find rain falling lightly from the sky. She groaned as she sat up, but she slipped off the rock. She really felt the need of Haku, where he would be helping her right now. But, alas, no matter how much she wished, he had not come, and she was stuck on the ground.
Oh, how I adore you
Oh, how I thirst for you
Oh, how I need you
Comatose
I'll never wake up without an overdose of you
Chihiro tried to stand up, but could not find the strength to do so. She felt dizzy and nauseous. She held her head, as it had started to ache. She could not think straight, and could not figure out what was wrong. She felt so terrible all of the sudden. Chihiro finally deduced that she needed to get home, but it was almost impossible to see through the rain and her blurry vision.
She tried to stand up, using the rock as support, but failed to see the slippery puddle near her foot. She put her foot down, and slipped, quickly losing all support. Chihiro screamed when she felt her head hit something hard, and she landed on the ground, too weak to move. She looked around, trying to find some kind of comfort or help before she lost consciousness. All she saw was something white in the distance before everything turned black.
I don't wanna live, I don't wanna breathe
'Less I feel you next to me
You take the pain I feel
(Waking up to you never felt so real)
I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna dream
'Cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way you make me feel
(Waking up to you never felt so real)
*Pat. Pat. Pat. Pat. Pat.*
Chihiro was stirred from her forced slumber, distantly hearing the sound of rain hitting against her winder. Wait, window? Wasn't she outside?
Chihiro slowly opened her eyes, before flinching and closing them. Her head hurt terribly. She was going to opt to keeping her eyes closed when she felt something stroking her hand. It was warm and comforting. She opened her eyes again, looking around the room. She gently turned her head, catching sight of a figure beside her. In her sleepy state, it took her a while to register the features of the unknown person.
Jade green eyes, dark hair, a comforting smile.
Her eyes widened as she realized who was next to her. 'He came back!' her head screamed. The person sitting next to her was Haku. He still had his short hair styled the same, but he was much older, around Chihiro's age. His eyes shone with relief as he saw her look at him. He stood up from his seat next to her bed, his hand still stroking hers. He walked closer to her, and smiled softly her.
Breathing life, waking up
My eyes open up
Comatose
I'll never wake up without an overdose of you
"Haku…" whispered Chihiro, not believing her eyes. She coughed, flinching as she felt her head throb.
"I'm here, Chihiro," said Haku, brushing hair out of her face. She smiled, until she rethought this whole scenario. She had dreamt stuff like this every night, and this was most likely another figment of her imagination. Her smile faded.
"Chihiro? Are you alright?" asked Haku worriedly. She averted her eyes.
"This isn't real," mumbled Chihiro. Haku stared at her, confusion in his eyes.
"Every night I dream of something like this, and it all goes wrong. This is no different," whispered Chihiro, tears on the brink of falling. Haku held her hand tighter.
"I'm really here, and I won't leave. Promise." he reassured her. She looked up at him, catching the last part of what he said. Promise. The same thing that he had said when they had to go their separate ways.
"It is you," Chihiro whispered. She slowly sat up, careful not to strain herself. As soon as she was close enough to Haku, she embraced him. He wrapped his arms around her, never wanting to let her go. Chihiro buried her face in his chest, letting the tears fall.
"I missed you," she cried. Haku held her tighter, afraid that if he let go, she wouldn't be there anymore.
"I missed you too," he replied. Chihiro looked up from his chest.
"Then, what took you so long?" she asked. Haku sighed.
"I told Yubaba that I quit, and she did not take it lightly. I had to work more before I could leave. After I left, I couldn't find a way to get back to you. I'm just glad that I came back, or else you might not be here right now," answered Haku, holding Chihiro protectively. Chihiro had a question that was bugging her.
"How did you find me?" she asked.
"I was on the way to your house when I heard a scream. I instantly knew it was you. I ran and found you unconscious, and I brought you back here," he answered.
"How did you know where I lived?" she asked, clearly confused.
"I just had a feeling. I could picture your house in my mind. It was instinctive," he replied.
"Thank you. You are a life saver!" laughed Chihiro. Haku gave a small smile.
I don't wanna live, I don't wanna breathe
'Less I feel you next to me
You take the pain I feel
(Waking up to you never felt so real)
I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna dream
'Cause my dreams don't comfort me
The way you make me feel
(Waking up to you never felt so real)
Haku let go of Chihiro, set her back under her covers, and stood up. He walked over to her door. Chihiro followed him with her eyes and saw Soot sleeping by the door. She turned her attention back to Haku. He was about to walk out the door.
"Where are you going?" asked Chihiro, panicking. Haku turned to her.
"You're sick. You need rest," he answered simply.
"Are you going to stay? Will you be here when I wake up?" she asked, afraid that he would leave her.
"I will always be here with you, Chihiro. I don't plan on leaving." he smiled at her. She let out a sigh of relief. She laid her head down on her pillow, ready to fall asleep.
Haku turned the door knob, ready to walk out. As he was about to take a step, he heard Chihiro sleepily mumble.
"I love you, Haku," she said. He turned to her, a wide smile on his face.
"I love you too, Chihiro," he replied, and then walked out of the room.
With a small smile on her face, Chihiro happily fell into a sleep full of wonderful dreams, never to have another nightmare again, for Haku was with her. He was there to stay.
Oh, how I adore you
(Waking up to you never felt so real)
Oh, how I thirst for you
(Waking up to you never felt so real)
Oh, how I adore you
The way you make me feel
(Waking up to you never felt so real)