Not as bad as you thought…
(think about the wolves from Happily N'ever after, accept the short crazy one is… not quite so crazy looking. )
The Ever After reunion party was under way and everyone was there. Princesses, princes, Hansel and Gretel, the three pigs even the Pied Piper came through and agreed to be the night's musical entertainment on a custom stage built by the pigs. Everything was going great, especially because of the strict no villains' policy. Out side were bitter angry witches, sorcerers, and ogres demanding to be allowed in, but thanks to the Royal Dragon Security force, a pair of dragons usually charged with guarding princesses were now guarding the door. There wasn't a more secure location anywhere else.
Suddenly the festivities were brought to a screeching halt when someone cried out "WOLF!"
All eyes were on the front door as three sharply dressed wolves walked into the room.
"Whoa…" the smallest of the three said.
"Hey Pauly… what's with these guys?" The heavyset wolf asked the tallest and most muscular of the trio.
"I don't know Jimmy, but didn't you take a sheep from that loud mouth over there a few months ago?" Paul pointed to the young man who called them out.
"Hey I told you already, he kept calling and when I finally show up all I see are sheep and this character laughing on the ground. I wasn't thinking straight, I was freakin' hungry!" Jimmy said patting his large stomach.
"Yea you're always hungry that's why you Margaret don't like you watching the kids by yourself no more." He said poking him in the chest with a growl.
"Hey fella's we are still getting looks here." The smaller one interrupted.
"Say wha'? Tony speak up, I told you already stop with the mumbling." Paul said in an aggravated tone.
"Hey, check it out, Anthony's right. Look at these guys. Is there something on my suit?" Jimmy said checking himself and brushing at his back with his tail.
"Excuse me. There is a no villains policy for the evening. I will have to ask you to..." A short pudgy man said attempting to get them to leave.
"Yea, we know. We passed those mooks on the way in. Can you believe those guys?" Paul said receiving a nod from Jimmy and Anthony.
"Tell me about it bro. Jerks like them should be ashamed." Jimmy said while shaking his head.
"Disgraceful." Anthony said moving forward into the room.
"Yes, well tasteless as they are, you will have to join the…." The pudgy man tried again.
"Don't mind if we do." Anthony said patting him on the shoulder and waving for the others to join him at a table.
"You mangy fiends shouldn't be here." An obnoxious woman's voice called out from the crowd.
"Whoa, that was rude. Someone really shook her good." Jimmy said nudging Paul and sharing a giggle looking around for the target of her words.
"I believe the lady was referring to you three." A prince said while threatening to unsheathe his sword. Other princes came behind him with threatening looks on their faces.
Paul looked at Jimmy and Anthony cracked his knuckles as the three of them stood from the table.
"Do we have a problem here?" Pauly asked while leaning toward the men who sought to challenge them.
"I'll say we do. What part of no villains don't you get?" A blonde prince asked.
"Hate to burst your bubble there Sunshine. But we aint bad guys." Anthony said with a smirk.
"Don't lie!" a princess called out as they joined their husbands in confronting the wolves. "We all know the stories. You're the Big Bad Wolves." One of them said with a 'Duh' expression.
"What?! Not this crap again. Everywhere we go, every single freakin time!" Pauly started ranting to himself as the other two sighed and gritted their teeth.
"Yea that's right. We know all about you, and…" Another princess was cut off.
"And what sweetheart?! Huh? What exactly do you know? What do any of you morons know?" Pauly shouted at them making the whole crowd tense.
"Please forgive him, we get this a lot." Jimmy said pulling Paul back while Anthony went to get them drinks while Paul stormed off to cool down.
"You see, those stories that you're all so familiar with are greatly exaggerated, and mostly untrue. Thank you Anthony." He said as Anthony returned to the table and took a seat.
"Let me guess, the 7 kids, three pigs and red hood. Am I right?" Anthony said calmly but still with steely eyes.
"That's right pall. And don't try telling us you're innocent either. We know better than to trust beasts like you!" One of the princes said glaring back at Anthony.
"Hey!"
"Not you Adam. Sorry, you know what I meant." The prince corrected palming his face.
"Yea, yea look. Let me set the record Straight." Anthony snapped his fingers to get their attention back. "For one, I didn't eat no pigs."
"Yea, only because they boiled your but when you tried to break in!" A black haired prince mocked with a chuckle, only to get snatched off his feet by his collar.
"Do NOT interrupt alright?! I thought you royal types were supposed to have manners." Jimmy said before letting him go and walking back to his brother's side.
"You're one two talk." His wife said while comforting him. "Who did you not eat?!" She accused. Before he could answer, Paul returned and slammed a young man on the table.
"This! This right here is a villain!" He said painting a clawed finger to his face.
"Oh my gosh, let him go! He's just a boy!" A brown haired princess said with a gasp.
"Just a boy huh?! Well this Boy is guilty of grand theft, solicitation and murder!" He said staring straight into the boy's eyes. Everyone gasped in disbelief and were lost for words.
"That's ridiculous. How could someone so young do such things? And why should we believe a word you say, wolf?" The black haired Prince asked again.
"Oh what? You don't recognize him? Here take a closer look!" Pauly picked the boy up by the neck and held him closer to them. "Go on Jacky, introduce yourself to these royal types." He said dropping him to his knees at the feet of the princes and princesses for everyone to see.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure you are as familiar with the tale of Jack and the Beanstalk as you are with our own." Anthony started from the table. "Well this is Jack. The one and only."
"What's your point?" A princess said while helping the young man off the floor.
"You all know how Jacky sold the family cow for beans that grew into the giant stalk, yea?" Pauly started.
"Yes, and then he found a castle and was almost eaten by the brutish giant!" A red haired princess said.
"WRONG! And don't you go leaving parts out of the story! Even the most censored versions tell how he stole the harp, gold coins and a chicken that laid golden eggs! Then when he brings the loot back home he brags about how he outsmarted the man-eating giant. But that's not what happened is it Jacky?" Pauly asked looking directly at Jack.
"…no…" He said quietly.
"Speak up Jacky! So everyone can hear you!" Jimmy asked calmly.
"No." Jack said again.
"Tell us what really happened Jacky." Anthony said motioning for him to take a seat at the table that everyone had now gathered around.
"The giant only chased me to get his stuff back. I told everyone he wanted to eat me so they would help me chop down the bean stalk." He said shamefully. Everyone gasped at the realization of what that meant.
"That's right. And they all bought it; hook line and sucker. Just like you!" Pauly said pointing his finger to the royal group. "Then you finished him off so you could keep all the loot for yourself." He finished straightening back up.
"It wasn't supposed to happen like that. I thought he would climb back up before the stalk fell." Jack pleaded.
"It doesn't matter! You stole from someone, and when he came to get it back you killed him!" Pauly shouted.
"You fed that line about him wanting to eat you to everyone and got praised like a hero. But did it ever occur to any of you people that he had giant chickens and coins for a reason? That he had probably been living off of other giant food up there? Why eat people?!" Jimmy questioned. The princesses backed away from Jack realizing the reality of what he'd done.
"Now his old lady is a widow up there, so Jacky boy could play the rich hero." Anthony said looking at the princes while motioning to Jack. "You disgust me." He said sharply to Jack before looking away from him.
"Get out of here ya creep. Go back home to your precious gold. That's all you care about." Pauly said with a voice full of disgust.
"What about you? You ate six kids and you ate Red Riding Hood and her Grandmother!" A prince pointed to Jimmy and Pauly, but was surprised by the response he got.
"YOU SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!" Pauly said with his eyes welling up. "Don't you dare talk about her! Don't you say another word or tonight I really will become a bad guy!" Pauly snarled at them all.
"Clearly, Jacks case shows that these stories aren't always fully told." A princess with long black hair said taking the seat left empty by Jack. "Why don't you tell us your side of the story." She suggested attempting to calm the situation again.
"That lady had the biggest heart. She took three misfits like us in when all we had was each other." Jimmy started.
"After her own kids grew up and left, we were all she had left. She became like mother to us." Anthony added solemnly.
"Ma was getting on in years, so we helped out how we could." Jimmy started. "Anthony started working construction, while I had moved in with her daughter Margaret to help watch over the live stock."
"Where are you going with all this?" The princess asked hesitantly.
"I should have stayed at the house… I should have been there." Pauly said to himself angrily with his head hung low while standing behind Anthony.
"You went to make sure Red got there safe. You did the right thing Pauly, don't beat yourself up about it." Jimmy said comforting his brother.
"Wait, I'm confused. What does your construction, your guarding livestock and his staying at home have to do with anything?" The blonde prince asked trying to connect the dots.
"I built the brick house for the oldest of the three pigs." Anthony said after composing himself for a moment. "His idiot brothers wanted me to build their houses out of wood and straw. When I refused the job, they did themselves and had me for an inspector. I watched as their handy work literally blew away with the wind."
"So why did they say you blew it down?" The longhaired princess asked.
"For the insurance money." A voice said from the crowd. It was the oldest pig brother. "Now these two knuckle heads are working for the Piper as punishment of insurance fraud." He pointed over to the two of them hooking up more speakers for the piper. "Tony thanks again for all your help with the house." He said while folding his arms.
"No problem Bert. Thanks for the work, the money really came in handy back home." Anthony said warmly.
"And these two?" The black haired prince asked.
"Margaret was ma's daughter. She never married, but made a life raising goats. She doesn't like me watching them by myself anymore, because when I get hungry I clean out the fridge and have a hard time keeping track of things. That's how I ended up taking one of that other kids sheep. I mistook it for part of Margaret's heard." He said scratching the back of his head.
"You mean… it was all a miss understanding?" The longhaired princess said.
"Yea, but boy blue over there just wanted to protect his own lying skin." Jimmy said looking across the crowd. "He's the one who's been selling my story to make himself look better in front of people." Jimmy growled.
"That just leaves you. What's your true story?" She asked genuinely interested.
"I kept up the house and looked after Ma. One day she gets a note, see. Her granddaughter Angela is gunna come for a visit. Ma sends me out to make sure she gets there safe since it's her first time making the trip alone." He said whipping his face. He started to giggle as he reminisced about that day.
"So get this. I meet up with her at the edge of the forest and she insists that I not take her the rest of the way. You know kids; they want to be so grown up. Well Red's no different. She wanted to do it herself, so I backed off. Figured I would keep my distance, but stay close enough to keep an eye on her. I almost lost it when I saw that stinkin woodsman talking ta' her, but she handled herself nicely if I do say so myself." He finished proudly.
"So what really happened to the little girl?" The princess asked curiously. Pauly looked at his brothers and smirked before throwing his head back and letting out a howl. As soon as the sound died off, small crashes could be heard coming from further back in the building. Everyone looked up to see a young girl in a red jacket burst into the room, riding one a serving cart and being chased by cooks. The girl leapt from the cart and swung around the room on a tapestry.
"Hi uncle Pauly!" She called out dropping mid-swing into Paul's arms.
"Hey there Squirt. Been causing trouble again I see." He said with a smile and tapping his fist on her cheek.
"Just a little bit. I wanted to have some fun." She said cutely.
"This is nuts." One of the princes said. "I thought he ate her and the old lady." He said throwing his arms up and looking at his comrades. When he looked back, he caught a boot to the middle of his face and was sent crashing to the ground.
"Don't say that! Don't you say another mean thing about uncle Pauly." Red said angrily standing on the table.
"It was that freakin woodsman who tried to get the kid." Pauly said through gritted teeth trying to restrain himself.
"The woodsman…?" The prince said rubbing his face. He sat up just as Angela jumped off the table and landed on his chest. Pauly punched the table splitting it while remembering the rest of what occurred that day.
"The bad man pretended to be nice to me, but he hurt granny… and now she's not coming back…" She said sadly. Everyone looked at her and felt guilty for having been so easily mislead about them.
"I look after the kid now when she comes to visit. It's what Ma would have wanted." Pauly said as he moved over to her side and held her to his side.
"Despite his temper, Pauly's actually the best one for the job." Anthony said. "Me and Jimmy are away too much and he can teach her everything she needs to know."
"Yea, cookin, cleanin, fightin, huntin, the works. He took care of us before Ma came along and now he's takin care of Angie." Jimmy said nostalgically.
"Uncle Pauly I'm tired." She said holding tight to Pauly.
"Alright Squirt. Let's get you home. Ayy Jimmy grab something good will ya, we haven't had a bite all night." He said turning toward the door while holding Angie's hand.
"Yea, judging from that entrance I'm sure Angie had plenty to munch on." Anthony said with a light smile as he stood from the table. "If you'll excuse us. Have a good night." He said walking away from the table.
"Anthony…" The princess who had sat down called after him. He looked back and Jimmy came and stood next to him with a platter piled high with food.
"Yea?" He asked smoothly.
"Thank you… for everything. We really have been blind all this time." She said shaking his hand.
"No problem, thanks for listening." He said and left the building.