Authors Note: DHr, slight AU (most characters are alive), innuendo
I'm normally very dramatic and angsty with my writing so I attempted to keep this fic light and humorous. This is my first fanfiction and I have no doubt that in a little while it will be deleted as I'll be too ashamed.
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize,
Romilda Vane was contrary to popular belief not a stupid girl. Though not exceptionally beautiful, she liked to think she held her own allure and knew she had just the qualities a man looked for. For this reason Romilda knew that Harry Potter would eventually tire of that harlot Weasley with ghastly red-hair and come running to her. While this potential match was ideal in her eyes, being a hormonal teenage girl she often let her eyes stray. More often than not she would find that they made their way over to the corner of the Great Hall in which sat a blond haired, grey eyed Slytherin.
Draco Malfoy sighed Romilda dreamily. In this fancy she was not alone and her sigh was echoed. Nearly half of her group of friends had voiced their own fantasies of Mr. Malfoy, recently her friend Natasha had told her an exceptionally saucy one involving both Mr. Malfoy's.
Romilda glanced at Harry expecting his eyes to be filled with jealousy and her eyes widened when she realized that his eyes were twinkling merrily, behind his round framed spectacles. Oh no they weren't directed at her, they were directed at the brunette whose upturned lips betrayed her eyes, which were skimming the pages of Hogwarts A History. Romilda was sure that nothing in the book was remotely amusing and doubted that Hermione would even have noticed the humor. She tended to be slightly ahem oblivious to things that didn't include the amount of candles currently floating over their heads or where the portrait of Sir Jeremy was located in the castle.r
Romilda sighed and continued staring at Draco Malfoy. He was laughing with Zabini at Nott who had a half of a sausage in rather suggestive area. He was sporting a scowl larger than Snape's. He huffed at his friends, which caused them to laugh harder, Romilda froze as two grey eyes searched the Gryffindor table. She held her breath waiting for them to land on her, but gritted her teeth when they landed on the Golden Trio.
She snarled eliciting a nervous chuckle from the photo taking Creevy brother. Collin had always been slightly afraid of Romilda, a fact that she had not seemed to have caught on to. The gears in Romilda's head turned and Collin was visibly blanching before a devious smile appeared on the girl's face
"Collin" she whimpered "I have a favor"
Romilda's mother taught her two things that grapefruit and potatoes prevented pregnancy (something that Romilda doubted because her mother had been sixteen at Romilda's birth) and that there was always a way to make a man fall in love with you. By magical or mundane means. All she had to do was get them to spend time with her. After an attempt with Harry and Amortentia (where the shaggy-haired Weasley landed in the Hospital Wing) Romilda was ready to try the second option. The best way to get a boy to hang out with you….blackmail.
Normally Romilda was not attracted to Slytherins but Malfoys changed attitude, well let's just say stirred something in her that wasn't strictly socially acceptable. Yes Draco had changes, he was still a bastard, but his behavior wasn't cruel, it was….attractive.
So Romilda hatched a plan, a rather clever one is she did say so herself, she would have Collin tail him until Draco let something slip. Collin was small and unnoticeable and he and his camera had an uncanny ability to blend into the background. Malfoy being a Slytherin wouldn't be one to broadcast his secrets to the world.
Saying Draco Malfoy was a suspicious man would be a bigger understatement than saying Albus Dumbledore was only slightly smart or that Albus Dumbledore was only slightly crazy. So when he began seeing a short Gryffindor with a camera, his ideas ran wild.
Death Eaters had been his first guess, then Aurors and even shudder his nosy, gossiping mother. Yet none of these options seemed exactly on point. Polyjuice wondered Draco and then with slight amusement that perhaps the boy was a fan…boy of his. It certainly wouldn't have been the first time.
Yes he decided that must be it. So he decided to let the obviously love-struck boy be.
After a few days, where he had cautiously followed his usual routine and overdid his manly tendencies and times he knew that the Gryffindor was watching.
Collin Creevy knew he was good at his job, he was small and slim and was utterly unnoticeable. Especially when motivated and Romilda made sure that he was. She'd threatened him with the dismemberment of a couple choice body parts and he had been out the door, and boy was he glad he had. Malfoy had secrets that had made Collin's eyes bug out and his camera nearly fall to the floor.
Disaster struck after a particularly good shot that Collin had been admiring when out of nowhere two slim, white hands snatched the camera from hm. There stood a very amused, smirking Draco Malfoy.
"Look whatever-you-name-is I'm honestly flattered, but following me around with a camera is stalkerish. If you want I have a lovely compilation of myself from ages 12 up in various dress suits, but honestly following me around has to stop-". He was cut off then by Collin who wiggled free, grabbed his camera and sprinted down the hall shooting Malfoy fearful glances.
"Huh" thought Draco aloud "I suppose that could have gone better".
When Romilda Vane saw the photos she was outraged. Her previous infatuation of Harry had promptly vanished after some threatening words from a certain Ginny Weasley. So when the outrage hit, so was Collin….numerous times….with Romilda's shoe.
Then her logic returned full force causing her to drop the shoe on Collin Creevy's already bruised foot. He whimpered in pain but she hardly noticed. Of course this was perfect blackmail information. So she set off to find the blond Slytherin, wearing one shoe, leaving a rather black and blue photographer lying on the cold marble.
"Malfoy" her voice said smugly seeing him make his way to the Great Hall.
His eyes widened then he groaned in recognition "Look Rosita, Rwanda-whoever you are I told you last week I'm not interested".
She brushed him off triumphantly "and I know why"
Malfoy was eyeing her wearily so she continued "it's because you're in love with her" She thrust the horrifying photo into his hands.
His eyebrows shot up off his head and his eyes widened.
She smirked smugly "I'm offering you a deal, this little bit of information will remain a secret if you agree to one date, at the Three Broomsticks next Hogesmeade weekend-"she was cut off.
"Hang on" said Draco processing the information "a date with you or admitting that she's my girlfriend?'
Romilda grinned at her terms, Draco's relationship status had been disheartening, but not entirely discouraging and from that came this piece of genius.
Draco stared at her, before marching into the Great Hall, with Romilda scurrying behind him. He scanned the tables before striding purposefully towards Hermione Granger and latching his lips onto hers. There was shocked silence as Hermione got over her initial surprise and had clamped her hands behind his head, in a heated response.
They pulled away and there was a giant pause before the merry voice of Albus Dumbledore said "and Serverus you were worried about inter-house unity"
There was a huge uproar with cheering, clapping, wailing (Draco's fan club) and yelling (Cormac Mclaggen). As the uproar died down the focus turned to the couple who were reassuring a concerned Luna that their relationship was not the result of a Ganaphes mating ritual.
They turned to their respective, but equally thunderstruck friends' blushing (Hermione) and smirking (three guesses who) when a small but determined voice called out.
"Just to be clear Dra-uh Mr. Malfoy. I did not appreciate the album of your photos AND I thought the last suit made you look frumpy"
Collin Creevy gained another bruise for this particular statement.
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Thank you guys so much for reading, I really want to try fanfiction to help me grow as an author, so any advice would be amazing.