One Heroic Evening, a Looney Tunes + One Punch Man/ワンパンマン Crossover fanfic

One Heroic Evening

"Well, that happened."

It was over, the utterly titanic battle against the God-level beast World Eater was over. What was once a mighty deity that went about eating planets selected by his heralds now was a nearly 30-foot skeleton that covered most of E-City. It was already powerful enough to wipe out an entire species by just eating worlds like an apple, but now it was toppled by someone much stronger. That someone was a simple bald man in a yellow suit, red boots & gloves and a white cape.

This man was Saitama.

"SENSEI!" A voice called out to Saitama, a figure charging towards him. It was a cyborg, Genos to precise. Once he got close to Saitama, he assumed a soldier-like posture. "Sensei, are you alright?" said Genos. "Yeah I'm okay," replied Saitama "a little headache from all that adrenaline, but I'm okay." The two then looked at the corpse that was once World Eater as his heralds started screaming like little girls and flew off. "Wow, what a bunch of babies." the baldy stated. "Let's head back home. I'm thinking of ordering take-out and watching cheesy dramas tonight."

One long ride home to Z-City later, the two arrived at Saitama's apartment, where they found a small note on the door. "GODAMNIT!" Saitama shouted so loud that the building briefly shook. "Let me guess, we forgot to pay rent?" Genos asked. "You betcha." his master replied. "Hey, you wouldn't happen to have another one of those random wads of dollar bills on you, right?" Saitama asked. "I'm sorry, but no." the cyborg said. "Might as well bide our time before the landlord kicks us out." The duo solemnly looked at each other as they entered the small apartment without saying a word. Then Saitama finally broke the silence. "So, which one of us should get groceries?" he asked. "I think I'll go," Genos replied already putting on a turquoise jacket and throwing on an orange scarf. "I wonder how much we have left?"

It was already getting dark by the time Genos left the supermarket with some instant ramen in a bag, along with jelly-flavored donuts for the morning. "The weatherman said it would get cold later, but not THIS cold." he said quipping about the weather. By the time Genos was a block away from the apartment, he started hearing a voice. "Psst, hey." The cyborg started to look around for a bit, wondering where it came from. "Psst, hey." There it was again. Did he start hearing voices from the nippy air?

"Over here pretty boy!" Finally Genos found where the voice came from, it was a cloaked midget living in a dumpster. "Excuse me sir, but I don't think a dumpster is the best place to live in in this weather." the cyborg started, before the trash-dweller shushed him. "Wanna see something cool?" The figure handed him a box and then ran off deeper into the alleyway.

Genos had absolutely no idea what just happened, but he was curious to see what was in the box. Setting the groceries aside, he kneeled down and carefully opened it to find a simple-looking frog inside it. "A frog?" Genos asked himself as the amphibian croaked. Suddenly, the animal got up on its back legs, pulled out a cane & top hat and started singing as the cyborg awkwardly watched.

Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal
Send me a kiss by wire, baby my heart's on fire!
If you refuse me, honey you loose me
Then you'll be left alone
Oh baby telephone
And tell me I'm your own!

Genos stared for a bit, thinking about how can it sing & dance, where did it come from and why did the midget give it to him. Then he started about him and Sensei turning the frog into a worldwide sensation, bringing in billions to help pay rent and probably more. "I think I found our solution." he said smiling to himself. He gently pushed the frog into the box, closing it and took it & the groceries home.

Saitama was laying around, eating some curry bread and watching news coverage about the battle with World Eater when Genos suddenly barged in, throwing off his coat & scarf, tossing the groceries in the kitchen and slamming the box down on the table. "Why're you so excited Genos?" he asked. "We found our savior Saitama!" Genos giddily replied as he opened the box. His bald companion just stared while Genos pulled out the frog and gave it its tophat. "Well, I think we can make money off of selling frog legs, but then we would need more frogs." Saitama finally said. "No Sensei, this frog isn't for eating," Genos exclaimed. "it can sing and dance, just look!" The frog did nothing. "Uh, just give it a bit." The frog still did nothing. Then Genos picked it up by the front legs and tried to make it dance.

"I'm being serious Saitama, it danced earlier like this!" Genos then started dancing like the frog earlier, much to Saitama's confusion. "Don't you have anything better to do other than thinking an animal can dance, like taking out the trash?" he asked. "Oh right," the cyborg finally realized. "I'll be back shortly." Genos then took a few big trash bags from around the apartment and raced out the door. Saitama looked at the door for a few seconds then turned his attention to the frog. "So what's your schtick?" That's when the frog pulled out his hat & cane once more.

Everybody do the Michigan rag, everybody likes the Michigan rag
Every babe and Jane and Ruth!
They're all walking to Deluth
Slide, ride, fly to Michigan
Stomp, romp, hop to Michigan
Jump, hop, up to Michigan Rag
That lovin' rag!

Just as the frog finished his song, Genos came back in and Saitama looked up to him. "Well G, looks like you were right."

The next morning, the two brought the frog over to a local talent agent, hoping to get a good gig.

"So what you're saying is, this frog can sing and dance?" the agent asked. "Yeah, but only to like one person." Saitama answered, taking some mints from the agent's desk. "Just one person?!" the agent shouted suddenly, startling them. "You know five or less people attending a show would be bad for business! Get out of here!" He tossed Saitama and Genos out of his office, with Saitama accidentally flying out a window. When Genos got up, the frog started singing again.

I'm just wild, about Harry
And Harry's wild, about me
Oh I'm just wild, about Harry
And he's just wild about
Cannot do without
He's just wild, about me.

Genos started getting excited again and pulled the talent agent out of his office to show him the frog. But the frog still did nothing. "Security!" he shouted, with two guards grabbing Genos by the arms and tossing him out the window. "Hey Genos, been waitin' for ya." Saitama said when his cyborg disciple got up. "Why the hell won't anybody believe us, the frog really sang!" grumbled Genos. "Y'know, one of us can just record it." replied Saitama. Then they noticed a theater nearby with the matinee saying "For rent."

After a few days of preparing, the frog (which Saitama and Genos named "Michigan J. Frog" because it rolled off the tongue) was ready to make its stage debut. Heroes and civillians alike crowded into the theater, wanting to see this new creature that the duo found. Meanwhile backstage, the frog was once again singing his heart out with Saitama watching.

Largo al factotum della citta.
Largo! La la la la la la la LA!
Presto a bottega che l'alba e gia.
Presto! La la la la la la la LA!
Ah, che bel vivere, che bel piacere (che bel piacere)
per un barbiere di qualita! (di qualita!)

"Good work there Michigan," Saitama said proudly, applauding the amphibian. "now go out there and make us rich." Michigan then hopped away onstage as Genos pulled up the curtain. As usual, the frog did nothing but croak. "So what, is this a part of the act?" Bang whispered to Mumen Rider among the audience. "Maybe we've been ripped off." Rider replied. There was still more silence as the frog croaked again. "I want my money back!" Tatsumaki called from the audience as she stormed out. This resulted in everyone throwing vegetables at the stage. "Please everyone, this is just a technical difficulty!" Genos shouted as he and Saitama came onstage, only for them to be beaned by pumpkins flying toward them. "Damn it sensei, we should get out of here!" Saitama was already running for the door before Genos could turn to him.

After a few minutes, the entire theater was empty, save for one person: Sweet Mask. He was patiently watching for the frog to dance and since he was the only person left, Michigan was happy to perform.

Please don't talk about me
When I'm gone
Oh, honey!
Though our friendship
Ceases from now on!

Saitama and Genos walked glumly through the streets on their way home, thinking about where to move when they're eventually kicked out. "Ah well, at least we tried." Saitama tried to reassure his mechanical friend. "I know, but the frog thing was pretty much a bust. Well, best get out bags ready." Genos replied. Suddenly, they heard footsteps and they turned to find Sweet Mask walking toward them with Michigan J. Frog in his hands.

"Ah, there you two are," the high ranking Class-A hero calmly said. "I've watched your little frog perform when everyone else left and he gave me the most wonderful time." Sweet Mask then pulls out a wad of money. "You think I can exchange you a few million dollars for i-" Before he could finish, Saitama started screaming. "YES, PLEASE TAKE THIS THING AWAY FROM US! IT NEARLY RUINED OUR LIVES AND WE CAN'T STAND IT!" Sweet Mask could only be taken aback before complying. "Okay then, thanks you two and have a good evening." He handed them the billion dollars and got into his car with the frog.

"Well, good news is we can now pay rent." Genos said as he looked at the wad of cash. "Plus we finally got rid of that amphibian." Saitama simply sighed and they started walking home. Then Genos started singing to himself, with sensei joining him.