Red Kitsune
Chapter 1: Deep Freeze
"We wish you a fond farewell and a safe journey, crew of Red Kitsune," said the flight commander to the crew and passengers as they stood aboard the huge space vessel. As the crowd applauded and dispersed, Joey nudged his roommate Kaiba in the side with his elbow.
"Check her out!" Joey said, pointing to a very pretty 2nd Lieutenant, who had long black.
"Forget it, Wheeler," Kaiba said cynically, "Sango's out of your league."
"Oh like you have a better chance," Joey said as they went on their way back to their bunks.
"Of course, I am one grade higher than you."
"We both fix vending machines," Joey said.
"That may be true," Kaiba replied, "But I'm the one in charge of the vending machine repair crew."
"We're the only ones here," Joey pointed out. "How is that, anyway? They got a million vending machines on this hunk of space junk, and only the two of us to fix it."
"Budget cuts, Wheeler. You should learn to appreciate the efficiency of Space Command. It was either cut back on our staff, or eliminate us all together."
"Either way, it stinks." Joey said as he opened the hatch to their quarters. Once in, he was pounced immediately by his pure white dog, Spot. "Down girl, down!" he said, giving her a hug.
"You'd better pray they don't find her out of the kennel," Kaiba said, getting in his bunk.
"Hey, I wouldn't let those thugs in cargo bay 13 get ahold of my Spot. They'd fry her up and eat her!"
"Please they're not animals, Wheeler," Kaiba said. "Unlike some people I know who eat their own toenail clippings."
Joey, who was at that moment was chewing on his feet, spit out a toenail. "I don't eat 'em," he retorted, "I just hate clippers."
"Either way it's disgusting," Kaiba said. On the floor, Spot gave him a growl, before turning around a few times and laying down at Joey's feet.
Just then, Joey got a beep on his pager. "Great," he said, getting up, "They're out of Nougat Bars on Level Six."
"You'd better put that dog in the hold, Wheeler, before they catch you with it," Kaiba said, getting his book out from under his mattress.
"Alright, alright." Joey said getting the leash. "Come on girl, time for a walk." he said. He left the room and took the dog to the hold, promising to get her after his shift. But just as he closed the door and turned around the corner, he bumped into the large administrator over personnel.
"Wheeler, did I just see you put a live animal in he cargo hold?" asked the man in charge.
"Uh… that depends. Did ya have you're glasses on?" Joey asked.
"I don't wear glasses."
"In that case you probably did," Joey said, slumping.
"That's it, Mr. Wheeler, that was your fifteenth infraction this month, and we've only just left space dock. You'll have to be reprimanded."
"Reprimanded?" Joey asked with a sweat drop.
"That's right, follow to the captain's office."
"Aww man," Joey groaned.
Transition
Joey pounded furiously on the glass of the suspended animation module, screaming obscenities. "You can't do this to me! This is cruel and unusual punishment!"
"Captain, sir, I'd like to register a complaint," Kaiba said to the captain. "Aren't you leaving me a little short handed?"
"Would you prefer to be locked in there with him?" the captain asked.
"See you in a few days, Wheeler," Kaiba said, waving to Joey.
"Why you dirty, double crossin-!" Joey screamed as the switch was thrown, and he was frozen.
Transition
While young Joey was in suspended animation, a terrible accident befell the ship and crew. A radiation tube leaked dangerous gama rays , contaminating the ship and killing all on board, except for Spot, who was locked safely up in the ship's hold. Then, the years passed…
Transition
"Activating Primary Program," went the long sleeping Computer System, K.A.G.O.M.E, as it booted up for the first time in 3 million years. The face of a teenage gilr appeared on the screen and yawned.
"Man what a nap." she said. "Now let's see… I guess I'll scan for life forms," she said. The computer ran it's system all over the ship, and then went haywire in the animation lab. "Uh oh," she said, "We got a live one." she turned on her screen in the lab, and used the auto-release valve to open the chamber.
As mist hissed out fo the chamber, Joey came stumbling and shivering out. "Man, when they say 'suspended animation', they mean frozen stiff. What, no one to meet me?" he said, looking around. "Where is everybody?"
"All dead," said the girl on the screen.
"Who said that?" Joey asked, looking around.
"I did," Joey looked and saw the face, "I'm the ship's artificial intelligence," she said. "You can call me Kagome."
"Well, Kagome, what'd you mean by 'they're all dead'. You mean everyone's gone? How long have I been in there?"
"Approximately 3 million years," Kagome said.
"3 Million years!" Joey exclaimed. "What? How? WHY?"
"Well, judging from your record, you must have done something very bad," Kagome said, "Because they're only supposed to put the worst criminals in there for consecutive life sentences."
"All I did was get my dog out," Joey said.
"That kind of infraction only warrants two days. I wonder what happened… Oh now I remember," she said, smiling, "The day after you were locked in, there was a radiation leak, and the whole crew died a slow, agonizing death."
"Why are you smiling about it?" Joey asked her.
"I'm programmed to be pleasant. Anyway, it seems that the radiation has only recently dissipated enough for humanoid life forms to live. I guess that's why I rebooted."
"So I'm the last man alive?" Joey asked, looking quite dejected and sad. "All my friends… that cute lieutenant… even my dog! All gone!" he said, crying like a baby.
"Hey, now, hold on," Kagome said. "Uh oh, I upset him. It's not in my program to upset people. I know! A familiar face will cheer you up," she said. Then she began running through a list of personnel. "Hologram… hologram… who to hologram? Ah here we go. This should cheer you up," she said. Suddenly, in front of Joey appeared…
"Kaiba?" Joey said, looking up. "It's a GHOST!" he cried, hiding under a table.
"I'm not a ghost you idiot." Kaiba said, pointing to the 'H' o his forehead, "I'm a hologram. Before the ship left dock, we had our memories downloaded into the ship computer, remember dunce?"
"Oh yeah," Joey said, climbing back up. "So is my memory in there somewhere?"
"Why would you want a hologram of yourself?" Kagome asked, confused.
"Well why would you think I'd want one of him?" Joey asked her, pointing to Kaiba.
"The records say you're bunk mates," she answered. "Aren't you, like, buddies?"
"Actually I'd rather have that cutie Sango here instead." Joey said. "Bring her out."
"I can only run one program at a time," Kagome said, "But okay."
"Bye bye," Joey said, waving and grinning at Kaiba.
"Hold it," Kaiba said, holding out his hand. "Either alive or dead, I still outrank him by one pay grade, and I order you not to put me back in the computer."
"He's right," Kagome said, "He outranks you. I gotta obey his orders."
"Hey, wait," Joey said, "Doesn't a live crewman outrank a dead one?"
"Nope. Orders are orders. He stays until my next upgrade."
"And when's that?" Joey asked.
"When we get back to space dock," Kagome answered.
"And that is…?"
"Well, we've been traveling at hyper speed for over 3 million years, so probably… never."
"Great," Joey said, slumping to the floor.
"Well, looks like without the captain or any other officers, I'm in charge," Kaiba said, attempting to lean against the wall, but falling through instead.
"Oops, forgot to make him solid," Kagome said, intiating the program just as Kaiba hit the floor, stuck in the wall.
"Get me out of here, you obsolete piece of hardware." Kaiba said through the wall.
"You're making it hard for me to be pleasant," Kagome said. "Hold on and I'll reboot you standing." As she did, Kaiba managed to see a flash of white go by in the hall.
"What the?" he said. As he reappeared in the lab again, he said, "Kagome, scan the ship for other life forms."
"Why?" she asked.
"I thought I saw something."
"You mean, there could be other survivors besides me?" Joey said with hope. "What are ya waitin' for? Scan!"
"I'm sorry, but I'm not reading anything outside the cargo hold besides Joey." Kagome said.
"What about inside the hold?" Kaiba asked.
"My range is limited. I can't look in the hold. Wait!" she said, "I'm picking up something on level 4, sub section B."
"Those are the kitchens," Kaba said. "Teleport me."
"I'll meet ya there," Joey said, "Maybe there's some radioactive-free food." He said, running down the hall and getting on the elevator.
"There was plenty of supplies in the cargo hold, so there should be something." Kagome said.
"Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, come to Papa!" Joey said rubbing his hands as the elevator opened and he made a fast run for the cafeteria. When he got there, he saw Kaiba fighting off a person with… dog ears.
"Get off me!" growled the dog-boy as he threw Kaiba against the wall.
"Not till you tell me what you're doing aboard this ship," Kaiba ordered.
"I live here, stupid," the dog boy said. "My race has lived here since the beginning. Now I gotta get this food to the old man."
"Hold it," Joey said, grabbing him. "Just what are you?"
"Duh, I'm a Dog. Are you blind? Say, what the heck are you? You're not a Dog," he said, sniffing Joey. "You're ears are in the wrong places, and where are your teeth?"
"Right here," Joey said, opening his mouth.
"You call those teeth? These are teeth," the dog-eared person said, showing off his fangs.
Joey cringed and backed against the wall. "I'm bettin your race, what ever you are, probably ate my Spot," Joey said, trying to get his courage up.
"Spot? What do you know about Spot the First?" the dog person asked suspiciously.
"She was my pet," Joey said.
"That's impossible. She was the one Cluster saved from the end of the world! If she was you're pet, then that would make you-" he looked stricken.
"What's the matter with you dog boy?" Joey asked.
"Inu-yasha," cried an old voice, and a old man with dog ears dressed in a kimono came hobbling along. "what's taking so long with the Ramen?"
"Old man, you won't believe it," Inu-yasha said. "I've found the actual Cluster!"
"Huh?" the old dog man squinted at Joey, then gasped as he fell to his knees and said, "All hail The Mighty Cluster!"
"What the heck is goin on!" Joey grabbed his hair and screamed, a sound that could be heard in the far reaches of space.