ANIME
Some fucked up story I made… God knows why I'm starting this bitch at 10:25 at night. I think He figured it out long before I did what a procrastinator I am, what an ISTP I am, but right now, I'm just happy that I made it through Valentine's Day without incident, so, excuse the random PWP, God knows if there's lemon in this thing, if there is, I guarantee it's yaoi, 'cause I don't write yuri, and I sure as Hell don't write hetero shit. So, screw off if you got a problem with it, 'cause I don't feel like fixin' it, and you're probably just being a bitch anyway.
If I use anime/manga characters, in any form, they're not mine. I am not a manga writer; I am not an anime producer. I am a starving mother fucking 14 and a half-year-old stuck in her room on a computer with a broken motherboard, which she affectionately dubbed, "Marimea." If you have a problem with that, you can go suck your own hypothetically large dick, or shove a big shiny piece of metal up your mother fucking ass hole a.k.a. your rectum.
And please, for the love of all that is pink and fluffy, don't sue me. I can't afford the waste of time, nor can you, plus I don't have the money! My parents probably do, but they'd probably unite the Australian and German armies together and come whoop your ass if you did actually try to get the money from them.
Let's face it. The owners of the characters don't give a shit that I'm using them.
And if they're original Uka characters, well, then, don't use them. I actually give a shit.
Thankyouverymuchandhaveaniceday.
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46 Days
By Uka-san
Forty-six days. That's how long I've had to stand this dump. That's how long the war's been over. That's how long my life's been over. That's how long Marimea has had control over the United Earth Sphere, the Colonies, and me.
She's done with me, I'm done with her, and there's nothing more to it. I wouldn't want to be her general for all the world, and I think she knows that. If she's half the dictator her father was, I know she knows that.
Why for all the Gods in the Heavens did Treize ever decide to have a child? Did he even realize what he was doing? Did he have any idea…? Yes. I believe he did. Not at first maybe, but it takes many hardship filled years to acquire the wisdom of one who has the power to crush the world in one hand. Maybe that's why I was fascinated with him. Obsessed with him. Infatuated. Possibly, even in love.
And all he ever had to do was challenge me to a sword fight.
And refuse to kill me.
I'd be in prison if it weren't for the decision I made in AC 196. That was the decision that decided the outcome of the war. I can see it in the history books now, "Once Glory Fighting Gundam Pilot Turned to Dominated Hell Hound." I wouldn't find it surprising. The history books don't usually think to take more than one sides nowadays. Especially if Marimea will loose her power. If that happens, I don't know what I'll do. Maybe I'll finally assume the position of Treize Kushrenada, after his daughter.
The world will always need a Treize. The world will always have to have conflict. And in order for there to be conflict, there had to be two sides. The ones who do not want conflict, the sensible ones, the moral ones, the ones who are not oppressed, the democratic ones. And the evil. And somehow, although I don't know how I came to this conclusion, I believe that evil is the more stimulating side to be on.
It's not as if I want to be evil. It's just the way I am. Just like I'm Chinese. Just like I was married.
Just like Heero can't help the fact that he has to be moralized good. Wings, the angel. God, heaven, Eve. And me, the devil, fangs, the serpent, Lucifer.
But don't get me wrong, I don't want to be good either. If I had it my way, I'd just be a bystander, soaking up the feelings of being in battle, watching the array of lights, the skills of war, the passion, the death, the life, the victorious. It's that for which I live for. Not anything else.
Maybe once in my life have I felt different. Regret. Regret from not pulling myself out of my own little world and actually coming in contact with others. I regret this only once. And that was for not loving Merian.
Maybe that's why I hate the weak, can't stand to look at the poor, those who are not able to justify the means by which they live, those who cannot and will not find something to fight for, something to believe in, those who just fight for fighting. Those who cannot appreciate beauty, those who are not beautiful in their own.
And just maybe that's why I affiliate myself always with the contrasting side, because everyone can conform, it takes integrity and strength of soul to start an uprising. Nobody ever appreciates the evil in life. Even if it is them who are truly the greater justice, the ones who have the greater belief, the more holy ones.
And maybe for once in my life I was proven wrong, that fighting for the sake of just fighting, because you'd forgotten what to fight for, just that you needed to, to find your own sense of justice, to find your own integrity, to find your own sense of right and wrong, was not weak. Maybe that is why I should've loved Merian, and maybe that is why she was Nataku.
Maybe that is who I was. And maybe that's why I hate those like that.
The last of the rebels are being brought before the court today. I can't stand them. They are weak and foolish enough in their thought to believe they can win against such a force, with their lives and souls intact. If it weren't such a foolish guarantee, if it weren't such an obvious loss, I'd join them. Marimea bores me. She has gotten her victory, she has gotten her conformity, and yet, it seems almost as if she does not know what to do with it. Maybe she wasn't the Kushrenada I thought she was.
But I saw her in her office the other day, talking excitedly to some of her tech engineering people, over some new system that should rival the ZERO system, without the side effects, and the look in her eye stopped my own frozen heart still. It opened it up, allowed some plea, some sort of emotion to flicker in my eyes, like it hadn't done, for nearly ten years.
And it made me think. And I smiled that day, because I truly knew that Marimea had deserved her title, as well as her last name, and I'm sure with that heart that is not supposed to know emotion or feeling, that Treize would be proud of his daughter, the leash holder of the young dragon he used to know.
I stood up there in the courtroom, in my pristine Lieutenant's uniform, clean cut, unwrinkled, spotless. Marimea's colors had changed. She now entertained a light blue, as our uniforms showed, mini-jacked adorned with our ranks, achievements, and colors, as well as the dress white shirt, navy blue ties, black belt, name tags, and light blue khakis.
I stopped wearing my hair up a long time ago. It's been loose, and I haven't cut it, so it almost looks like I have long hair now. It was layered, so it looks like a shag crop cut, the bottom of it reaching my shoulders.
Forty-six days. Forty-six days we had to stay in this town, this little city called Nassau, having hearings, seeing the leaders of the anti-government factions be sentenced, and taken away, either to be killed, or to some deep space prison. Today was the last. The moment had been the last hour. It was now the last minute, as the offenses had been read out, I effecting as the judge, since I had had some law training, and now the defendant was coming to stand before me, us the court.
And the look in Sally Po's eyes as I changed her sentence from prison sentence to the death sentence never left me. It was the look that changed my mind to begin with. I recognized her actions, her words, her feelings, and in made cracks in that ice again. And with the heart I wasn't supposed to have, I recognized Nataku's own and saved her soul. I didn't leave her to rot herself out in some prison. I got rid of the good that did not belong in a world like this. The Earth did not deserve people like Sally Po, Merian Shinn, and maybe, in one point in time, the world didn't deserve me either. But I've changed since then.
And the look in her eyes, the one of cynical, tyrannical, hatred, has never, ever, left me.
OWARI!