"Ahhhhhggggg!" said Natalie throwing a vase across the room and watching it explode in an array of water, glass, and flowers. She looked down at the broken pieces and started to laugh, it wasn't a normal laugh, it was more like a laugh from someone teetering on the edge of insanity. Someone who had gained all she had ever dreamed of but lost everything she knew. Before her life made sense, she new her place, how she was supposed to be, how to act, now she felt in limbo, she wasn't good enough to be a Buchanan but she was to good to go back to being Natalie nobody. That's who she was though, a nobody, nobody loved her, no one cared if she was sad or hurt, no one cared!
She looked around the guest room, this wasn't HER room, this was a STRANGERS room. She picked up a small figurine of a cat, looking at it she flung it into the mirror hanging on the wall and watched them both shatter and fall to the ground. "That was for you Roxy."
She picked up a feather pillow. "This is for all the men who looked at me when I was a little girl sitting in the corners of those trashy casinos!" She said banging the pillow against the corner of the dresser until feather exploded sending whiteness floating down around her.
She started to pace and talk to herself. "I was never allowed to play in the snow, even when we visited Michigan where 'aunt Mary' lived. I never had a proper winter coat, no mittens or a hat, my shoes had holes in them and it's all Jessica's fault. Jessica who grew up wearing fur-lined coats, designer shoes and matching hats and gloves. Jessica who had three meals a day, Jessica who lived in a warm house with people who read her stories and asked how her days were. A mother, brothers, a dad, her life is so perfect it makes me sick!!" she screamed.
She took her wooden chair, the one that matched perfectly with her desk. "This is for going to bed hungry when you were passed out drunk!" The chair hit the wall and she delighted in the sound it made wishing it was Roxy standing there.
She took the sheets off of the bed and threw them. "This is for abandoning me, Seth!" she said using all of her strength to pull the mattresses off of the bed.
"Neither of them wanted me, they wanted her, Viki didn't love me enough to find me, Jessica was better, sweeter, pretty, quieter. It's not fair!" She took her arm and swept it across the night stand, a glass crashed to the floor and shattered sending water and glass everywhere. A lamp fell and crashed to the floor. She went to her dresser and pulled the drawers out tossing her clothes everywhere.
Her energy spent she collapsed in the middle of the destruction zone crying. This was her LIFE.
She saw Roxy taunting her, Seth telling her it was over, Viki telling her she would never have the love of the family. She was all alone and she deserved to be.
Hot tears ran down her cheeks and her breath caught in her throat as her sobs became louder. She wanted a mother who loved her, she wanted a family. Through her tears she looked around the room, it symbolized her life, it was nothing but a broken mess. She pulled her knees up to her chin, closed her eyes and rocked back and forth, something she had done when she was upset since she was little.
All of a sudden she started as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and saw Viki, her mother looking down at her.
She looked around the guest room, this wasn't HER room, this was a STRANGERS room. She picked up a small figurine of a cat, looking at it she flung it into the mirror hanging on the wall and watched them both shatter and fall to the ground. "That was for you Roxy."
She picked up a feather pillow. "This is for all the men who looked at me when I was a little girl sitting in the corners of those trashy casinos!" She said banging the pillow against the corner of the dresser until feather exploded sending whiteness floating down around her.
She started to pace and talk to herself. "I was never allowed to play in the snow, even when we visited Michigan where 'aunt Mary' lived. I never had a proper winter coat, no mittens or a hat, my shoes had holes in them and it's all Jessica's fault. Jessica who grew up wearing fur-lined coats, designer shoes and matching hats and gloves. Jessica who had three meals a day, Jessica who lived in a warm house with people who read her stories and asked how her days were. A mother, brothers, a dad, her life is so perfect it makes me sick!!" she screamed.
She took her wooden chair, the one that matched perfectly with her desk. "This is for going to bed hungry when you were passed out drunk!" The chair hit the wall and she delighted in the sound it made wishing it was Roxy standing there.
She took the sheets off of the bed and threw them. "This is for abandoning me, Seth!" she said using all of her strength to pull the mattresses off of the bed.
"Neither of them wanted me, they wanted her, Viki didn't love me enough to find me, Jessica was better, sweeter, pretty, quieter. It's not fair!" She took her arm and swept it across the night stand, a glass crashed to the floor and shattered sending water and glass everywhere. A lamp fell and crashed to the floor. She went to her dresser and pulled the drawers out tossing her clothes everywhere.
Her energy spent she collapsed in the middle of the destruction zone crying. This was her LIFE.
She saw Roxy taunting her, Seth telling her it was over, Viki telling her she would never have the love of the family. She was all alone and she deserved to be.
Hot tears ran down her cheeks and her breath caught in her throat as her sobs became louder. She wanted a mother who loved her, she wanted a family. Through her tears she looked around the room, it symbolized her life, it was nothing but a broken mess. She pulled her knees up to her chin, closed her eyes and rocked back and forth, something she had done when she was upset since she was little.
All of a sudden she started as she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and saw Viki, her mother looking down at her.