Fandom: FMA
Title: Ripples In Spilt Milk
Pairings: Elricest, one sided Roy/Ed, Brief Al/Fletcher
Rating: NC 17
Warnings: Incest, Angst, Yaoi, Lemons

Author's Notes: AU, OC

Word Count: 21,146
Status: Incomplete

Disclaimer: Not mine, too bad. Not mine, so sad.

Summary: In the weeks that Sam had come to know his secret idol, he had learned that Ed did not have a talent for words. But just then, with that simple 'my love', Ed had been eloquent.

Ripples In Spilt Milk

Chapter 1

The rug on the floor of the living room wasn't the most comfortable place to make love, but for Ed, right now, it was perfect. Hell, anywhere that he could kiss and caress and fondle Al was perfect. He couldn't believe it. Al had been in his body for almost six months now, and when Al let him know, one week to the day since that transmutation, that he felt more for Ed than mere brotherly love, Ed had been relieved. No, ecstatic. All those years of hidden fantasies that he was afraid Al would deem sick if he ever knew, all that worry for nothing. He should have told Al the moment his brother had his body back. No, he should have told him sooner, but perhaps it was for the best that he hadn't. He'd carried enough guilt around without adding lovemaking to his brother who couldn't feel pleasure to the list, though he would have willingly and eagerly made love to a suit of armor. Right now, things couldn't be better, or more perfect. He had his brother back, his brother's body, and his brother's love and passion. He was free to indulge in all sort of love play right here in the living room, exactly as they were doing now. His mouth traced Al's neck, reveling in the soft hums and cries his brother gave under his enthusiastic caresses. It was not as if anyone would even think to open the door and come in… Suddenly, he stiffened, his eyes opening wide. Winry! He had completely forgotten Winry was going to come by and look at his automail. Oh, god, if she found out, she might very well kill them both. "Oh, god, Winry…" Suddenly, he felt Al freeze and give a soft cry of shock below his fevered body.

"Get off me, Niisan… I… I…" And Al shoved Ed off his body with a shuddering sob.

Wildly, Ed rolled away, looking towards the door. Winry's arrival must be the reason for Al's sudden withdrawal. But… the door was still firmly closed. He looked confused at his brother, and was stunned. Al was swallowing hard, one hand to his mouth as he stared at his brother in horror. He actually gagged. "Al, what's wrong? Are you sick?" Concern overrode everything, even the fact that Winry could come through that door any moment now and find them naked and sweaty on the living room floor. He crawled over and reached out to touch Al's cheek.

Al reared back, revulsion in his face. "Why… why, Niisan?" Tears filled his big beautiful eyes, and Ed felt his heart cracking. What the hell had gone wrong? When Ed didn't say anything, Al lunged to his feet with a sob, and began hastily putting on his clothes again.

Ed rose as well, a trifle shaky. It was hard to reconcile what was going on. One moment they were making love on the floor, beautiful wonderful love, and then Al was shivering and crying and looking like he was going to spill his lunch all over the place. "Why, what, Al?"

Al was hugging himself, unable to look at his brother. "I… I should have known… It was too wonderful, too perfect, too damn miraculous. I should have known…" When Ed reached for him, he gasped in horror, skittering back several steps out of his reach.

"Al?" Ed was really getting concerned. A chill crept down his spine.

"…should have known…" Al continued, oblivious. "You've always given up everything for me. Because you love me. Given me everything, no matter what the cost to you, because you love me. No matter if you wanted something, you gave it to me because you love me. Even if your heart was somewhere else, you gave yourself to me, because you love me. Oh, god, I think I'm gonna be sick…"

"Wha…" Ed could barely keep up with Al's rapidly fired ramblings. "Al?"

But Al turned and ran into the bathroom, slamming the door shut and locking it before Ed could follow. Ed, hands on the door, heard Al being noisily sick inside, gagging interspersed with wretched sobs.

"Al, love, let me in. Al, you're sick, let me help you…" Ed begged from the other side of the door. He didn't understand what was happening, only that Al was sick and needed him. He darted back to the living room and hurriedly dressed. Al might need him to fetch a doctor. When he got back to the door, all was quiet inside. "Al?" He whispered tentatively.

"You shouldn't have done it, Niisan," Al's voice was indescribably weary through the door. "No matter what you thought I wanted, you shouldn't have done this…" Al's voice dissolved into soft weeping, and Ed found his heart crushed by the sound.

"Al… Done what?" He wracked his brain, wondering what he did that would so wound his beloved brother.

"You shouldn't have told me yes. You shouldn't have let me believe you felt the same way… when you loved someone else. I never wanted it like this, Niisan… not like this… not like this…" Al could barely speak.

"Loved someone else?" Ed felt his jaw drop. There was no one on earth he loved more than Al. "But, Al…"

"All this time, I really thought you felt the same as I did. That when we made love, it was me that fired your blood and heated you body. That it was me…" Ed heard Al swallow hard again. "But it was Winry. I'm sorry, Niisan… so sorry. I should never have said anything. Never should have forced you to make such a sacrifice for me. God…" And Al was weeping again, so heartbrokenly, so helplessly, so hopelessly.

"Winry???" Where could Al have gotten such a far-fetched idea? Suddenly there was knocking on the front door. Speak of the devil, he thought distractedly. Then he groaned. Surely… He replayed the last few seconds of their passion and realized that he'd actually said, 'oh god, Winry'… No wonder Al was shocked. He did kinda moan it, what with the pleasure he was having from being with Al, and his dismay that she might actually catch them making love. "Al, it's not what you think."

"Stop. Enough. No more." Al's voice was soft and drained and far to quiet for Ed's taste. The knocking continued louder. "Get the door, Niisan. It might be someone important."

"No, Al, nothing is more important than you…"

"I said stop!" It started as a shriek and ended in a moan. "Please, Niisan… enough. Get the door… I'll… I'll be out in a moment, I promise."

"Alright, Al," Ed said quietly. "And then we'll talk, ok?"

Al made some indistinct noise.

Ed sighed and went to the door. Sure enough, it was Winry. "Hey, Winry, I'm sorry, but this is a really bad time. Could you come back later?" Ed winced to be so abrupt about this, but he had to straighten out this misunderstanding, and fast. Al was everything to him… friend, brother, lover, companion, his heart and soul, his love.

Winry's brow furrowed in concern. Ed looked so pale. "Is everything ok? Is there something I can do?"

Ed gave a strangled laugh. "No, nothing, but thanks. And I'm sorry to have brought you out here for nothing. Come back tomorrow?" He tried to give her an ingratiating smile, but it was a dismal failure.

"Ed…" She began, "Something is wrong. Let me help. Is it Al? Is he ok?"

"Yes, yes, Al is fine. I'm fine. Look, I'm sorry, but I really have to go. I'm sorry." And Ed shut the door almost in her face. Then he turned and darted back to the bathroom, and found the door ajar. Al wasn't inside anymore. Sighing at the mess he'd made with ill-timed words, he moved to the bedroom. But Al wasn't there either. Becoming alarmed, he ran to the kitchen, and found the back door wide open, and no sign of Al anywhere. He began to run, looking for his brother frantically. Al simply could not go off thinking what he did, thinking that Ed was only… fucking him to please him. Ed swallowed himself that time, feeling waves of nausea rise in his gut. He would be shattered if he thought such a thing of Al… and Al was far more sensitive and emotional than he was. Al… really thought… no… Ed bent over in the field and almost threw up. Almost threw up like Al actually did in the bathroom. "Al…" he cried one last time and searched the area, but there was no sign of him.

Faintly, he heard Winry crying Al's name too, and spotted her in the field across from the house. Obviously she'd not gone away when he shut the door. He should have known. She'd heard his frantic calls and rushed to his aid. Oh, Winry. Dejectedly, he walked back up to the house and met her in the kitchen.

"Edward, what's going on? Did you and Al have a fight?" She asked firmly, and he could see from the gleam in her eye that she wasn't going anywhere right now.

"Something like that," he said wearily.

She smiled in commiseration. "He'll be back before long. He always does. Come on, let me look at your automail while we wait. Ok?"

Too listless to argue, he let her have her way.