*I don't claim to own CCS or any related characters they are ©CLAMP, NHK and so on*
By: Nanashi
His hot, short, breaths burned into my neck. His sweet kisses trailed their way to my collar bone. I tangled my fingers through his cascading dark hair. I squirmed under his weight as his fingers worked at the buttons of my shirt. My head dug into the pillow like a reflex at his tender touch, and yet through all of it the only thing I could do was sigh. Eriol seemed to notice.
"Syaoran.." he said pausing from his activities, "what's wrong?"
It's been a year since we became a couple and Eriol continues to read me like a book. I swallowed a deep breath as the boy rolled off of me.
"I'm sorry, I really did try..but I'm not in the mood tonight.." I began but Eriol brought my head to rest on his chest.
"Shhh, it's Ok..you don't have to apologize to me, my love." he comforted.
I closed my eyes. Eriol new I loved to sleep on his chest, right over his heart. It was a tender lullaby that I enjoyed slumbering to. But tonight not even his heartbeat could cheer me up. This was an important month, still fresh in my mind even after a year. I wondered if he really understood.
Early the next day Eriol came into the dining room with a small stack of letters. I served breakfast as he flipped through each one.
"So what is it this time?" I asked.
He stopped at one of the envelopes and smiled, handing it over to me.
"A letter from Kaho and the others in England".
I couldn't help but smirk at the decorations on the envelope, "Seems like either Suppi or Nakuru have taken a liking to drawing...or at least tried."
Eriol laughed, I was sure he missed them a lot and he so enjoyed receiving letters from them. I opened it and began to read aloud.
"To my dearest Eriol and Syaoran.." wrote Kaho, and I continued to read until finally all 3 pages were done.
Eriol was beaming at all the wonderful words his family wrote. I was glad to hear from them too. Since our time in England last year, Kaho and the others have all become so loving and supportive of us both. I felt like they had grown to be an extended family of mine. Eriol promised we would go back to see them soon.
He began sorting through the rest of the mail again, after our reminiscing, but his face dropped slightly as he stopped at one letter in particular.
All smiles faded as I knew what it probably was that he was holding. I extended my hand towards him as if silently demanding that he let me see it. He complied. I tore at the envelope recognizing the familiar return address on it, Eriol took a seat beside me and we both opened the card inside to read it together. Tears welled up in my eyes as I finally put the card down having finished reading it. Eriol lifted a reassuring hand to my shoulders.
"We have to go Syaoran. It's been a year, and you have avoided your family for too long. This isn't just a formal invitation, it's more of a request." he said giving my shoulders a gentle squeeze.
I brought my hand up to touch one of his and sighed leaning my head against his arms.
"I suppose you are right, I have no choice but to go and face this." He brought his face down to level my ear.
"Be strong my love, I know you can do this. It's time." he whispered, and then I turned to meet his lips.
~*~
"You know summer is supposed to be the time of the year when people enjoy themselves. But every time this month rolls around..I can't help but feel.. depressed." I muttered while pushing one of my suitcases closed.
"What do you mean 'every time' it has only been a year Syaoran" retorted Sakura, who was across from me handing over clothing from the closet.
Tomoyo also spoke up, "Yes and don't forget this is also the month you and Eriol got together, so cheer up!".
I blushed thinking about how much Eriol has meant to me this past year. All the things we have been through in such a short amount of time. What can I say? I was head over heels for him. And he knew it. Tomoyo finished what she was doing and made her way over to me, picking off little imperfections from my suit and brushing me once-over. Satisfied, she stood back and looked me up and down. Sakura also left her duties to eye me out.
"So how do I look?" I gulped.
"Gorgeous as always" chimed Eriol from the doorway.
We all turned to see him in his best outfit.
"Now hurry up guys or we'll be late for the airport!" We all scrambled, picking up the last minute things and flying out of the house.
The ride to the airport had been somewhat silent. However once we headed into our terminal and neared our gate at the airport, the girls flew into a range of chatter and tears.
"Don't stay in China too long now!" sniffled Tomoyo.
"And don't forget to write!" finished Sakura as we waved and headed to board the plane.
They were such sweet and loyal friends. We have been side-by-side in our relationships this year, sharing our most important moments from happy to sad times. In short we have been through everything, and I continued waving until they were out of view. Finally, after being directed to our seats, I flopped down lazily into mine. Eriol got the window seat, he knew how much I loathed take-offs. The flight attendants went through their customary introductions and plane conduct guidelines, but I was already fidgeting around in my seat anticipating the impending rocky lift. When the plane finally began moving Eriol held my hand to comfort me. Once in the air I settled into my seat and allowed my consciousness to drift. Before I knew it I was awakened by my love's gentle nudges. We had reached our destination. To my surprise it had not taken as long as I would have imagined and before I knew it we were checking out of the chinese airport I knew so well. We had arrived in Hong Kong.
It was late afternoon and the sun was starting to hide itself in the horizon. The familiar hustle and bustle of the city engulfed us as we made our way to my home. I grew anxious. Part of me didn't want to be here, wanted to deny the truth. But it was too late, no looking back now. Besides I had promised Eriol I would be strong, and I know I would never have to go through anything alone as long as we were together. Speaking of us, I had put off telling my family about our relationship. Something else to worry about. But this time I had faith things would go smoothly. I pushed my thoughts to the back of my mind as my mansion loomed before us and we climbed out of the taxi, ready to face.. my family.
~*~
The house was decorated with familial emblems and lanterns. It was all in preparation for tomorrow's events. Eriol and I unloaded our suitcases and walked up to the entryway. He gave me an encouraging smile before I knocked on the heavy doors. One of my sisters responded and blinked as she peered down at us.
"Ni-nihao.." I stuttered, but before I could finish my introduction I found myself being pulled in along with Eriol.
My 3 other sisters came in and crowded the other boy, pulling and caressing him, as they chattered noisily. Among the many "Cute!"s and "So Adorable!"s there were squeals and hands flying. I could only frown as I realized how different the place seemed without Meiling racing down the stairs to throw herself at me. Sure she had calmed down a lot on me after our engagement broke, but.. things seemed that much more empty without her. Then the giggles died down and grew quiet as I noticed the long figure of my mother approaching us.
I stood to attention as she neared me. She stopped beside me and smiled silently as one of her hands held my chin tenderly. But her gaze was fixated on my boyfriend. She stared sharply at the disheveled boy who was promptly preening himself to look presentable. He adjusted his glasses in time to see her appear before him. I gulped and grew tense as my sisters parted from his side and into opposite ends of the room. The whole world seemed to quiet down and time almost froze as they stood, face to face. In one swift and graceful movement she kneeled before him, her head pointed towards the floor and her eyes never once opening.
"You grace us with your visit to our humble home, you, who are worthy of the name Clow." she recited.
My four sisters followed in her lead, kneeling in unison, as well as all other members in the room. Eriol smiled authoritatively as he placed a hand on her head, seemingly giving her permission to be at ease or accepting her greeting. She lifted her face to meet his and he helped her up to her feet.
Needless to say, I was somewhat unsure of what to do. I had almost forgotten that the love of my life was the reincarnation of the most powerful being to ever exist. My ancestor, Clow. I felt out of place, should I have kneeled too? This was slightly uncomfortable, all this formality in the air was confusing me. Eriol sensed it however and gave me a reassuring wink. Still the same Eriol, who never let me feel alienated or inferior to him. I hadn't ever really thought of the huge differences between us until just now. Eriol always made an effort to be as normal as possible. He never boasted his superiority over me. I was really lucky to have him. I couldn't help but gaze warmly at him, although, I was interrupted by the wide grin on one of my sisters. That pretty much snapped me out of my trance and brought me back down to earth, from the 9th cloud I was previously riding on. I blurted out nervously and scratched the back of my head trying to divert the attention away from me and to any other thing.
But this was no occasion to be giggling. The somber expressions on those of the house brought me back to reality. The reality that a member of our household was gone, and the reason for our visit... Meiling.
Eriol disappeared somewhere with my mother, they probably have a lot of business to take care of. I didn't feel like intruding for now. Just wanted some time to myself, to think things over, so I made my way to the balcony leading out of the living room. It was a refreshingly cool night for once. The stars shone brightly in the moonless night. Cicadas chirped their nightly love songs as a shadow approached from behind me. It was my sister.
"What do you want?" I growled.
She only smiled and leaned slightly over the balcony ledge.
She peered up at the stars for a moment before finally speaking.
"What was that all about in there?" she asked.
I tried to avoid her question by changing the subject.
"Where did mother go?" I gulped.
"That's not the mystery here little Syaoran."
"What do you mean?".
She smirked again leaning coyly to one side, "You brought the great Clow to the house..and there seems to be something odd going on there I think."
"First off his name is Eriol, not Clow, so don't confuse yourself..." "Off to a first name basis with him already hmm?" she cooed as I finally snapped at her.
"Quit your pointless interrogation sister, he is just family who came here to pay his respects." "Really? Family issues never stopped you from being engaged to Meiling..."
I whirled around to confront her. "How dare you bring her up in such a manner! I'm warning you Feimei, don't disrespect her name while I'm here, got it!?!"
But before I could finish my threats she had pulled me into a tight embrace and was caressing my hair softly.
"Shhhh.. I meant no harm, really..."
I calmed down my hysterics a little as she continued, "I just wanted you to know that I'm happy for you little brother. I had always thought that girl you brought the last time would be the one, but your heart seems very fickle lately."
I closed my eyes letting her pet me, at least it was good to know one family member was on my side.
"I'm not fickle anymore, my heart knows exactly what it wants." I stated firmly as we broke apart.
"Well well, that's the first time I have heard you so decisive on something, let's hope you are right." she finished before turning to head on into the house.
I smiled. She had no idea how I felt about Eriol, it's not like I expected her to anyway. But let's hope everyone else was as understanding about our coupling.
I decided to call it a night myself and see what Eriol was up to, perhaps he was already waiting for me in bed >:3. I walked down the familiar dark halls of my house but the glow from one room caught my attention. I felt a slight peek wouldn't hurt as I pried the door open a bit. Inside I could make out Clow's magic circle with two figures standing in the middle reciting an incantation. It..was Eriol and my mother! It has been a while since I had seen Eriol use magic, so the scene was worth spying on for a moment more. Suddenly the circle disappeared, it seemed they had just finished. Then I heard their muffled voices, and I strained hard to make out exactly what they were saying.
"Thank you for everything Eriol-sama."
"If anything, I should be thanking you Li-san."
"Please, call me Yelan. Come, let us rest a while, I have some things to discuss further with you. I hope you don't find me rude asking, but the topic is on a more personal level." she said.
"Of course not, you are welcome to express yourself freely." he complied as he pulled a chair out for her to seat herself.
After finally settling down she began again in a more serious tone.
"I am very grateful that my son brought you here among us to honor the passing of Meiling tomorrow. I had hoped everything would have gone according to past events involving my son, but I grew aware of the feelings in your heart Eriol-sama."
I was surprised Eriol's demeanor had not changed at all, he didn't seem phased in the slightest at her mild accusations.
"I wouldn't hide anything from you Yelan-san" he assured her.
"Eriol-sama I'm sure you are well aware of this but just to make sure, I would remind you that Syaoran is my only son. He is to carry on the Li clan's name and magical heritage."
"So, I see that you do not approve, is that it?" he asked calmly.
"What I mean to say is this.."
My eyes were peeled to the scene unfolding before me. Was Eriol accepting her ultimatums? Wasn't he going to fight for our love in the slightest? It was almost too much to bear. We made it through one hurdle earlier, which was Kaho, and now my own mother? Why couldn't she understand? And worst of all, why was Eriol being so passive about this? I felt like barging into the conversation and letting it all out. But just then I heard the sounds of footsteps and chatting coming down the other end of the hall, so I pulled myself away from the door and hid in the corridor until the threat was gone. I bolted back to the crack of the door.
"So then you understand.."
"Yes, I do."
"You will tell him this for me Eriol-sama?"
"I will."
I couldn't believe the little I had just heard. My whole world came crashing down as I backed away from the door in horror. I turned heel and ran down the hall pushing past anyone and anything in my way. I had to get out of there as fast as I could. This month..I knew nothing good could come out of this month. Not only did I lose Meiling and Sakura, would I lose Eriol now too? This was too much for me. I just wanted to dissapear. I lose everything I grow to love! I'm sorry Meiling..
A voice called frantically from behind me as I lunged towards the front door on my way to freedom. I didn't want to hear it, I didn't want to hear anything, please don't say good-bye to me ever Eriol. I saw him behind me giving chase. Was it really that urgent for him to shatter my heart into pieces in front of everyone? I wasn't going to stop. After a few minutes, I felt his magic pulling me to a halt but I fought back, stopping him by counter attacking and binding his hold on me. I was so concentrated on pulling all of my strength into blocking his spell, that I had no idea where I was going and I never saw that car coming towards me. The last thing I heard was Eriol's distant cries and the screeching of tires. The last thing I saw was blinding light before I lost myself.
~*~
Chirping..birds chirping? A sweet scent, the smell of fresh grass and flowers. Was I dead? I couldn't see just yet. I couldn't feel just yet. But I sensed myself calm and protected, yes, I must be dead. But then I heard his voice, his soft whisper calling me.. telling me to..open my eyes? And then I could feel. My body clinging onto soft fabric, something wet and hot falling on my forehead..tears? And then his face faded into view. His relieved and tear stained face. I had seen him cry once before. It was over Meiling, but now..it was for me? Then everything grew clear as I reached my hand up to touch his face and my voice returned to me, trying to say that everything was all right.
"Syaoran..you're OK! Are you really ok?" he asked holding me like a fragile China doll.
I pulled myself from his grip slightly and attempted sitting up on my own. I was so dazed but sure every part of me was intact.
He reached out for me again but I held back, still unsure of myself. I took a look at my surroundings. Deep tire marks were etched into the asphalt but the car was nowhere to be seen. Had I been hit? Then I noticed the bloody streaks on my shirt.
"You almost died on me Syaoran.." he spoke and as I took a closer look I felt the fading presence of magic in the air.
"You..saved me..brought me back?" I stuttered.
He only nodded. Then as if a hidden memory had been revived I saw the whole scene again. The car swerving, me pausing in the middle of the street like a stunned deer, being wrapped in a glowing bubble of light just as the car slammed into me. Eriol running to my side as the vehicle disappeared from view, and then he held me close as Clow's magic circle appeared under us. He held me for what seemed like hours until the sun rose in the morning.
"So that's how it happened.." I stated.
Eriol stood up abruptly and pulled me to him in a tight embrace.
"I almost lost you..almost.." he whispered again.
"What do you mean? You kept me alive just to tell me that we could no longer see each other, because of family? Is that what you want?".
He blinked at me in disbelief, "You heard..didn't you?"
I tried to turn away. Then he smiled.
"How come I didn't feel your presence?" he asked.
"I have learned a lot during my time with you and hiding my Ki was one of those things."
"You really have gotten a lot stronger haven't you?".
How could he be smiling at a time like this?
"This is not about magical ability! This is about you and me, will you really do what she said? Doesn't our love mean anything to you?" I spouted angrily.
Eriol raised a slightly amused eyebrow.
"Syaoran you've got it all wrong, I could never leave you! What your mother and I were discussing initially was indeed, our relationship. But that was all before our ritual, before you came in. As for what you heard, it seems you didn't hear the rest of our conversation, because she clarified herself.." and with that he kissed me.
The missing events of the night before came flooding into my mind. I saw my mother as she spoke.
"What I mean to say is this, you are of course the rightful head of the family and should lead the procession tomorrow, but because he is my only son, I would think it wise to let him lead instead. I searched your heart earlier and I know you wanted to spare him the pain of having to initiate the ceremony. However, nobody knew Meiling better than he did and this would be a good part of the healing process if he faced this head on. I'm sure he is strong enough to do this, and I thank you for wanting to take that burden off his shoulder for him. I really hope you do not take any offense to this, but I do believe it is in his best interest. Don't you agree?"
"You are right as always, Yelan-san, but we will have to see if he is willing to take up this position tomorrow, it may be harder for him than we think."
"I'm sure he will accept, especially if you tell him."
"Thank you for your trust in me"
"So then you understand?"
"Yes, I do."
"You will tell him this for me Eriol-sama?"
"I will."
"That's when you ran off and I tried to catch up with you to clarify things. It must have sounded awful from your point of view. It really wasn't meant to confuse you, Syaoran."
I know I turned a deep shade of rouge.
"So what I heard had nothing to do with our relationship?" I uttered.
He smiled, "Syaoran, by the time you came in we had already discussed our love, do you know what that ritual you saw us doing was for?"
I shook my head.
"Your mother accepted me as your fiancé, and we were blessing our future union."
"Do you mean?" I asked as my eyes widened at the thought.
"Yes my love, it's official, my forever.. is your forever.." then his eyes softened again with sadness, "but I had no time to celebrate, today almost became a memorial for both Meiling and yourself."
I threw my arms around him.
"But you brought me back! You really do love me and now nothing can come between us, Eriol, I'm so happy. I'm finally yours until the end of time!"
He hugged me tight, "I shouldn't have meddled with fate, if you were meant to die last night, but I couldn't let you go just like that, I hope Kami-sama forgives me but I love you too much to spend the rest of eternity without you."
I cupped his face in my hands as I leveled my eyes with his.
"Even if the devil himself had taken my soul last night, I would have fought him and found my way back to you. Not even death itself could do us part." and with that we surrendered to a fit of passionate kisses under the bright sun and blue sky.
~*~
The whole house along with invited relatives kneeled before an alter erected to honor Meiling. The Li clan had it's own way of honoring the dead and today on the anniversary of Meiling's death, I led the ceremony which was usually reserved to he who held the highest position within the Li family. My mother and Eriol appeared at opposite ends as magic circles glowed underneath us and combined into one large sphere surrounding the alter. I stood at the head as I conducted the house into chants and prayers for the soul of Meiling. Eriol and my mother lit incense as I lit a central candle. Meiling's picture adorned the alter as a center piece.
If only I could see the dead, I hoped, she was smiling.
It's funny how fate works, I thought to myself as I led the rituals. Last night my life could have ended, the same way Meiling's did. A year from now, would Eriol have performed my ceremony? I smiled mentally. I'm sure that if I had died, even in my reincarnation, I would have eventually sought him out and fallen in love again.
The ceremony continued throughout the day finally ending with a procession to her place of burial. Once there, every member of the family left something behind on her grave. Whether it was gifts of food, flowers, perfumes or small momentos it was all there in her memory. Then as previous Li clan custom called for, the ceremony ended at midnight on a happy note, as it is believed the spirits desire only the happiness of their loved ones. It was at that moment that my mother announced the engagement between Eriol and I. That is when the true festivities began as we celebrated our newfound happiness. In our finest chinese attire we joined in the dances and other gestures of joy throughout the night.
It truly was a day to remember, I never thought I could experience such joy and sadness all in one day, but it happened, and I was grateful to it. All this nearly cost me my life, but sometimes it takes an experience like that to appreciate what you have and what you could have lost. I wish you both would have been here although you were definitely in our thoughts. Thank you also for the last letter you sent us, I'm glad you thought of Meiling again this year at Obon. I can't wait to return to Japan to share all the great news with you both in person. Oh, and don't tell Kero we will be bringing back some goodies with us..just yet. Hope to hear from you again very soon, and don't worry so much about me, trust me.. I'm more than OK.
With love,
Syaoran Li
~ Owari