stranded in darkness
I'm so lonely, Lee's gone and I will never see or talk to him again. It feels so long since Lee had died, it has only been 2 months, and to me it feels like a thousand years,he was the love of my life and I miss him so much,I wish he had never died in that car accident, If only I had been in the car with him and drove the car home,he would be home safe with me and we could still be together enjoying our future lives together. This changed my whole life and I know I will never get over what happened.
I'm starting to blame myself for his death because I wasn't there to protect him. He should be still alive right now living with me in this house. But instead of him being here, I have to visit him in a cemetery and cry my eyes out every time I walk to his grave. I would bend down and take out a journal that had all of our wedding plans in it, I would sit there and read and cry my eyes out because that perfect day was going to be the best day of our lives.
That day was supposed to be a symbol of our love and be the most precious day of our lives the very moment we say I do,we would slip our wedding rings on and then the priest would say "you may now kiss the bride" then he would kiss me and it would light up the whole room while filled with claps from our friends and family.
I sat on our lounge,giving Lee my full attention "so we've been together for a year now and it's been the best year of my life. You mean the world to me and if you weren't here right now,I don't know where I would be" Lee said,Carley still looked a little confused but somehow knew where he was going "so Carley lavender,will you marry me?" Lee asked.
Carley started to tear up "yes,yes Lee,I will marry you!" Carley said,hugging him tightly.
I snapped back into reality,realising it was just a flashback of mine "oh Lee I miss you so much,I wish you could just come back" Carley said,still crying over her former boyfriend.
That morning I got in the the car and drove to the cemetery where Lee was buried and I said to him. I miss you, life in hell without you here and I love you so much and I will never forget you for as long as I live. I wish you were here with me I'm all alone with no one to talk to and I feel like i have noone to turn to if I'm sad I just have to be strong and think of you and what you would want me to do.
I stayed there for about 1 hour and then drove back home and tried to stay strong, I went to my bedroom to go have a shower and go to bed earlier the usual so I can get a good night sleep and to try and recover from the sadness of the death of the love of my life.
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