Blank.

Blank.

Blank.

That's the mood, that's the motion, that's the atmosphere.

Blank.

I stared at my monitor; having finished what I thought would be a sweet adventure, with cute girls and learning about them and them falling for me.

Blank.

I breathe heavily and take the headphones out of my ears, tossing them aside onto my desk as I got up to jump into bed. But it was more of a plop than a jump. Heavier and heavier I struggle to climb under my sheets, to my pillow, to my stuffed animal, to rest. All I can see is red.

Sugary

Moist

Deep

Red

The swinging of her limp body still stuck in my vision. Her pale skin, decayed and eyes lifeless against the desk. And her neck, that precious neck.

SNAP

It was an exasperating experience, but I knew it was over. But while it may not happen again, the imagery will stick with me for a long time.

They deserved joy, not suffering.

They deserved breath, not suffocation.

They deserved love, not spite.

They deserved comfort, not madness.

Blank.

Blank.

Blank.

Sleep avoids me. Try with my might, only an hour passes before the imagery impales me yet again. Hour after hour, nauseated at what I put them through from the simple click of a "Play."

Why didn't I play with her? Why did I only focus on one? Blind as the eyes she gave me after her last breath. It hurt. It hurt. It hurt.

Try as I might, their departures were too painful for me to sleep on.

5

A

M

The first snowfall has begun, the yellow lights from the streetlamps illuminating the scene. I'm reminded of those light particles from when we sat down and had chocolate with tea. She was absolutely adorable with her embarrassment in being fed chocolate, it was endearing. It was getting to the best part.

Just Monika.

That absolutely bitch. I laughed afterwards but was so into the moment, that I felt nothing but pure rage at her. How could she take that moment from me? How could she barge in like that? How could she have done everything else that led to my sleepless night?

Explosion.

That word filled me with light while she still had the life in her eyes, but Monika took that word and made it nothing more than a blank blank blank.

M

E

A

N

I

N

G

L

E

S

S

I stare at the clock.

5:05

My breathing seems to have calmed down. The imagery of snow on the ground leaves a lukewarm feeling in me. My tinnitus is acting up more than usual.

"Isn't that the sign of something bad about to happen?"

I snap my gaze to the door of my room.

C

L

D

S

E

D

I see the eyes, those once beautiful violet beauties, now sniping the ends of my retinas. I can't help but keep still, lying with my back on the bed. My eyes fixate towards her hands, a knife as blue as the ocean, pristine as ever.

Slowly, she limps towards me, lifting the sheets aside and gently resting herself on top of me, piercing me with her blank eyes.

Blank.

Blink.

Blank.

Blink.

Yuri slowly raises the knife in her hands towards my neck. Pointing to my side, her breathing begins to get harder and harder.

"Haaah…"

"Haaaaaah…."

"HAAaaaaaahehehe…"

She runs her free hand's fingers through my hair playful, eyes focused entirely on my own. She reaches for my hand and brings it up to her face, putting down my fingers one by one.

Pinky.

Ring.

Middle.

Index. Index still stood.

Her head tilts forward.

Her tongue sticks out.

She wraps around my index finger.

Until it disappears in her mouth.

"Mmmmhmhmhmmm…"

I lay there horrified and what I'm experiencing. This isn't what I wanted. And I'm sure this isn't what she wanted either.

She pops her mouth off of my hand, casting it aside and bringing her hand towards my face.

"It's only fair…"

Index. Index stands out.

I stick my tongue and wrap around it, eventually sinking it within my mouth.

"Mmmmmmmmmmm-YES!" She barked with glee. "Ehehehehe…"

Her stare still fixated on my eyes, my eyes fixated on her stare. I continue to wrap and move my tongue, hoping it'd keep her at bay for now. Worried over what more is next to come.

"Haaaah…Haaaah…..Haaaaaaaaaaah…" She pulls away and I make a pop from the release of her index finger. She sticks it in her mouth playful and openly.

"Haaaaaaaah…Your spit….With my spit….Isn't that so…SEXY?!"

She throws herself on me. Knife now pointing towards my abdomen. Chest now covering my face.

D D D D

O O O O

K K K K

I I I I

"Do you….Haaahahahaaaaah….Hear it?"

I gulp, making a slight peep that her chest would allow me to make.

"...Haaaaah…Haaaahaha…Ehehehehhhh…"

Blank.

I see nothing, her chest obscuring my vision.

"My chest…Haaaaah…Only when you're around…Haaaaaaaaaahhhehehe…Can I feel…"

She leaps off of my face and back on my torso. I stare in horror as I realize what she's about to do. The knife now at her chest.

Blank.

The gaze I see from her eyes.

Blank.

The expression she returns to my horror.

"SO ALIVE!"

Sugary

Moist

Deep

Red

Flowing out from her chest,

She falls over next to me,

A tear flows out.

"Hhhhhhhhaaaaaaaah…Hhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaahhh…I…Hhhhhh…never wanted…aaaaaaaahhh…"

Blank.

Blank.

Blank.