Notes: Don't look at me like that.

They should have seen it coming, really.

When Nagisa had invited the three of them to a "private lunch" that morning, face solemn with ominous purpose, they should have recognized it for what it was, a sign from hell that Armageddon was upon them.

"You're not serious." Rei's voice trembled. "Please say that you're not serious."

Nagisa looked puzzled. "Of course I'm serious," he said, smiling. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I think it's a great idea," Kou chimed in.

"Yeah, 'cause you're a girl." Rin rolled his eyes.

Kou flicked his nose, hard. "What's the problem, Rei-kun?"

Rei made a face as though he was about to vomit or pass out or both. "It'll go wrong, and it'll be our fault, and then they'll never speak to us or each other ever again!"

Nagisa giggled and shook his head. "Rei-chan, you're such a worrywart. It won't go wrong. We won't let it."

"Haru-kun and Makoto-kun are made for each other," Kou agreed. "How could it go anything but right?"

Nagisa applauded her advanced logic and reasoning. Rei caught the sudden smell of brimstone in the room, and he knew the final verdict was spoken. Rin groaned at all of them.

This was the plan:

Make them go on a date without them knowing that they're on a date, or so Nagisa had worded it.

This was the result:

Nagisa asked Makoto and Haruka to go shopping with him, cancelled on the very appointed time and day, claiming he'd come down with some nasty virus overnight, so they might spend the rest of the day in each other's company since they were both already together at the venue. However, this did not eventuate. It had started raining, Makoto told an outraged (and miraculously cured) Nagisa the next day in school, and thus they'd gone home again, soaked down to the bone. Haruka had been happy about that, he noted.

Kou was to concoct the next scheme. It included a lot of yelling at Makoto, complete with crude innuendos and several warnings about his value as a citizen if he didn't man up soon.

Makoto was pretty distressed afterwards and remained like that for another two weeks, most of which he spent avoiding Haruka because he was afraid his downgraded citizenship would rub off on him. During this time Rin and Rei grew rather close, allied in the cruel fate that all of their friends were nutjobs.

It was still filed away as a success because Haruka ended up confronting Makoto, who cried and apologized a lot, which Nagisa called, "a youthful reunion with all the necessary emotions for the formation of the closest of bonds."

Even Kou had cringed at that.

Next in line to take action was Rei. He fled home upon his nomination and didn't talk to any of them until Nagisa had promised to keep him out of any active contribution.

Then it was Rin's turn.

"I refuse."

"You can't do that," said Nagisa gravely. Matchmaking is serious business after all.

"What?" Rin snapped. "But Rei didn't have to either!"

"He had valid reasons," Kou explained, of course not siding with her brother. Rin suspected there was some sort of natural law involved.

"I have those too."

"Like what?"

"You're both crazy!" Rin threw up his hands, exasperated, and was about to give up when Makoto and Haruka busted the secret meeting of the Makoto and Haruka Love Brigade because the teacher had told them to get new chalk from the janitor's closet.

"I-it's not what it looks like," Rei spluttered.

"I'm not really sure what to say to that," Makoto answered, perturbed and yet strangely amused.

Predictably, Haruka said nothing.

"Makoto!" In his desperation, Makoto was for Rin what sugared espresso would be to a college student during finals. "You need to stop this!"

Makoto scrunched up his nose in confusion. "Stop what?"

"They're trying to pair you off with Haru!"

Makoto stared. Haruka finally seemed interested in the conversation and stared as well. Nagisa and Kou held their breath. Rei was still calculating the relative likelihood for a hole to open up in the ground that he could crawl into.

"T-that's nonsense," Makoto stammered, blushing furiously.

"Yes," Haruka concurred. "We've been dating for a few months already. I thought you knew."

There was a meaningful moment of silence.

Nagisa faked a laugh. "Sure we knew. Rin-chan was just joking, right, Rin-chan?" Without waiting for a reply, he went on, "Now, we're very busy with—a thing, so we really need to get going. See you at practice!"

And then they all bolted into different directions.