The X-Men Vs. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Summary: Because of a recent dispute between me and a few of my co-workers, I have decided to write this. They argued with me over whether or not the X-Men were better than the Ninja Turtles. This is my story about the X-Men kicking the Ninja Turtles' Asses!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them. No, really, I'm serious! Not a single one of them. Not the mutant turtles, nor the mutant humans. Sorry to disappoint you...
Author: The genius mind of BLIMEY THE TOAD!!!!! (yes, honey that *was* sarcasm)
Author Notes: This has nada continuity. This is like some twisted original cartoon series X-Men, but (as in all of my stories, for readers who may have read me before) it doesn't really fit anywhere in the storyline. Sorry.
Another day at the X-Mansion:
"So, Rogue. Wha' do you wanna do t'day, chere?"
"Ah don' know, Remy. How 'bout you?"
"How 'bout we sit an' watch TV. Or go to da Danger Room."
"Remy, ya used ta have such sweet, romantic ideas of things for us ta do. What happened?"
"I guess I ran outta ideas, chere."
"Damnit! Then think a some!"
Yipes! "Uh, okay Roguey." Gambit stood up, and ran out of the room.
"Gambit, why're you in such a hurry?"
"Wolverine. Rogue wants to do somethin' romantic, an' I haven't told anybody dis, but... my charm factor is down! This happens 'bout once every couple a years. An' here 't is." He sighed deeply. "Ya gotta help me!"
"Why don'tcha take her huntin'. I always take my dates huntin'."
Gambit eyed him, then without another word walked away. Wolverine just shrugged and walked on into the kitchen.
Wolverine walked into the kitchen, nearly running into Beast.
"So Hank, what's fer lunch?" Beast just looked up at him, a sad look in his eye. Wolverine tried to walk away from the kitchen quickly, as emotional things tended to make him feel very akward, but he was dragged into it.
"Logan... I have a crush... on Jubilee!" Hank then burst into tears.
"Uh, Hank. She's 17. You're in your early thirties. I don't think it'll work. Plus, I have a crush on her!" Beast looked at him, then growled and slapped him.
"What was that for!"
"She's mine!"
"You're too old for her! You said so yourself!"
"You're twice as old as me, old man!"
"Oh, really, huh?"
"Yeah, punk!"
"Look, let's work this out. Let's talk to Jubilee and make her decide. Tonight, alright?"
They decided to that.
Jubilee heard her comm-badge beep.
"Yeah?"
"Uh, Jubilee? It's me, Logan. Meet me and Hank in Meeting Room 4 tonight at 7:00pm, alright?"
"Is it some kind of party?" She asked excitedly.
"Sure, Jubes."
"Yeah, okay!" She said, then beeped it off. She had the biggest crush on those two, but knew they would think she was too young to have anything to do with. Besides, it was kind of illegal. "But I'll be 18 next month" she whined to herself. Storm overheard her.
Storm overheard it. "Child, I have no plans for the evening. Do you suppose I could accompany you there?"
"Yeah, sure Storm! The more, the merrier!" She galloped off.
Storm walked on down the hall of the X-Mansion, and ran smack into Jean and Scott.
*Bam* "Ouch! Oh, Sorry Jean. Hello, Scott."
"Hi Storm," Said Jean. Scott just nodded.
"Well, Hank and Logan are having a get-together later, and I thought it may be fun for you both to come."
"Okay, we'll be there!" Said an excited Jean. Scott, again, just nodded, not looking half as excited as Jean.
Jean and Scott walked on, chatting (throught their funky mental-link thing they have) about absolutely nothing of any importance. As soon as they entered the living room, Gambit nearly tackled them.
"Hey, guys. Gambit got a huge problem! Can you to help? Please?" He begged.
Jean and Scott looked at him, then each other, then back at him. "Sure" Jean offered tenatively.
Gambit explained his problem to them as he had to Wolverine, then pleaded once again for some help.
"Well, Wolverine and Beast are having a party in Meeting Room 4 at 7:00pm, if you two would like to go."
Gambit's face lit up, he smiled, and hugged them both tightly. "T'ank you, Jean!" He ran off.
"Rogue" he called when he found her again in her room. "I had dis brilliantly romantic idea for us t'night, but den Wolverine and Hank basic'ly forced me to go to dere party t'night. Care ta join me?"
"Sure, Remy." She said, although she had some doubts about his really having some great plans for them. But oh, well.
**********
That night...
Everyone got really drunk, Rogue learned to control her powers and she and Gambit got "intimate", Hank and Logan told Jubilee about their crush, and she just belched and passed out from too much liquor. Scott and Jean were drunkenly making out on the floor.
**********
Elsewhere, in the sewers...
"Turtles, my senses indicate that the notorious X-Men, who have taken away so much of our popularity and success, are now drunk and barely able to move. I say we attack NOW!"
"Whoa, but Splinter, the X-Men kicked Shredder's ass! We couldn't do that for... well, ever."
"Shut up, Raphael. I know best."
"I don't know dude, maybe he's right. We could, like, order some pizza or something, and like, invite them over or something. I mean, that Jubilee chick is pretty hot."
April hit him in the head. "What do you mean, Michaelangelo? I'm not hot? I'm damn hot enough!"
"And that Jean chick, whoa. She is like..." Drool began running from Leonardo's mouth, and his eyes rolled back into his head.
"Naw, numb nuts, that Rogue babe. I could do the himijanga all night long wi..."
*BAM* April kicked him in the head with her heeled foot, then stomped out of the sewer.
"Actually, my turtles, I've always been partial to Ororo."
The 4 turtles nodded in agreement, but then Splinter came back to reality.
"The point is, if we beat the X-Men into next week and become popular again, all the chicks'll dig us again. Okay, my students."
The turtles nodded again, then followed Splinter out of the sewer and towards the X-Mansion with their respective weapons.
**********
*knock knock knock*
"Gambit will get it." Mumbled Gambit as he stumbled to the door.
"Allo? Who it be?" He asked as he opened the door.
"It is us, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Oh, and Splinter. We're here to kick your asses so we can be popular with all the ladies!"
"Oh. Can you hang on for jus' a moment? T'anks." He said as he closed the door. He walked back to Meeting Room 4, woke everyone up, and explained the situation to them.
"Dere be 4 turtles and a giant mouse here to beat us up so dat chicks'll like 'em again. I t'ink dey wanna fight us now."
A collective groan came from everyone, as they had all drunk a lot of alcohol, and they all had amssive hangovers.
"Aw, do we gotta?" cried Jubilee.
"Yep, sorry. We don' wan' dem toilet paperin' da house or nuttin', non?"
"He does have a point." Said Scott. "Alright, let's go."
Gambit led them all to the front door, and opened it. The turtles were still there, along with the rat, and were in defensive-looking positions.
"Here's the deal" said Scott, "If we have to fight you, it's going to be in the Danger Room. The sun is WAY too bright right now, and We can't break anything in the mansion, or else Xavier'd break us when he get's back from vacation.
The turtles agreed, and they all made their way up to the Danger Room.
*********
Alright... this is part I. I hope you liked it. If you didn't well, too bad, because I'm running a really high fever and have a wretched headache. So, if you like it, I'll do a Part II, which is their fight and stuff, and if you don't like, then I'll trash it. I can't really tell, as I'm hyped up on pills, so reviews will determine whether I do Part II or not.
Summary: Because of a recent dispute between me and a few of my co-workers, I have decided to write this. They argued with me over whether or not the X-Men were better than the Ninja Turtles. This is my story about the X-Men kicking the Ninja Turtles' Asses!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of them. No, really, I'm serious! Not a single one of them. Not the mutant turtles, nor the mutant humans. Sorry to disappoint you...
Author: The genius mind of BLIMEY THE TOAD!!!!! (yes, honey that *was* sarcasm)
Author Notes: This has nada continuity. This is like some twisted original cartoon series X-Men, but (as in all of my stories, for readers who may have read me before) it doesn't really fit anywhere in the storyline. Sorry.
Another day at the X-Mansion:
"So, Rogue. Wha' do you wanna do t'day, chere?"
"Ah don' know, Remy. How 'bout you?"
"How 'bout we sit an' watch TV. Or go to da Danger Room."
"Remy, ya used ta have such sweet, romantic ideas of things for us ta do. What happened?"
"I guess I ran outta ideas, chere."
"Damnit! Then think a some!"
Yipes! "Uh, okay Roguey." Gambit stood up, and ran out of the room.
"Gambit, why're you in such a hurry?"
"Wolverine. Rogue wants to do somethin' romantic, an' I haven't told anybody dis, but... my charm factor is down! This happens 'bout once every couple a years. An' here 't is." He sighed deeply. "Ya gotta help me!"
"Why don'tcha take her huntin'. I always take my dates huntin'."
Gambit eyed him, then without another word walked away. Wolverine just shrugged and walked on into the kitchen.
Wolverine walked into the kitchen, nearly running into Beast.
"So Hank, what's fer lunch?" Beast just looked up at him, a sad look in his eye. Wolverine tried to walk away from the kitchen quickly, as emotional things tended to make him feel very akward, but he was dragged into it.
"Logan... I have a crush... on Jubilee!" Hank then burst into tears.
"Uh, Hank. She's 17. You're in your early thirties. I don't think it'll work. Plus, I have a crush on her!" Beast looked at him, then growled and slapped him.
"What was that for!"
"She's mine!"
"You're too old for her! You said so yourself!"
"You're twice as old as me, old man!"
"Oh, really, huh?"
"Yeah, punk!"
"Look, let's work this out. Let's talk to Jubilee and make her decide. Tonight, alright?"
They decided to that.
Jubilee heard her comm-badge beep.
"Yeah?"
"Uh, Jubilee? It's me, Logan. Meet me and Hank in Meeting Room 4 tonight at 7:00pm, alright?"
"Is it some kind of party?" She asked excitedly.
"Sure, Jubes."
"Yeah, okay!" She said, then beeped it off. She had the biggest crush on those two, but knew they would think she was too young to have anything to do with. Besides, it was kind of illegal. "But I'll be 18 next month" she whined to herself. Storm overheard her.
Storm overheard it. "Child, I have no plans for the evening. Do you suppose I could accompany you there?"
"Yeah, sure Storm! The more, the merrier!" She galloped off.
Storm walked on down the hall of the X-Mansion, and ran smack into Jean and Scott.
*Bam* "Ouch! Oh, Sorry Jean. Hello, Scott."
"Hi Storm," Said Jean. Scott just nodded.
"Well, Hank and Logan are having a get-together later, and I thought it may be fun for you both to come."
"Okay, we'll be there!" Said an excited Jean. Scott, again, just nodded, not looking half as excited as Jean.
Jean and Scott walked on, chatting (throught their funky mental-link thing they have) about absolutely nothing of any importance. As soon as they entered the living room, Gambit nearly tackled them.
"Hey, guys. Gambit got a huge problem! Can you to help? Please?" He begged.
Jean and Scott looked at him, then each other, then back at him. "Sure" Jean offered tenatively.
Gambit explained his problem to them as he had to Wolverine, then pleaded once again for some help.
"Well, Wolverine and Beast are having a party in Meeting Room 4 at 7:00pm, if you two would like to go."
Gambit's face lit up, he smiled, and hugged them both tightly. "T'ank you, Jean!" He ran off.
"Rogue" he called when he found her again in her room. "I had dis brilliantly romantic idea for us t'night, but den Wolverine and Hank basic'ly forced me to go to dere party t'night. Care ta join me?"
"Sure, Remy." She said, although she had some doubts about his really having some great plans for them. But oh, well.
**********
That night...
Everyone got really drunk, Rogue learned to control her powers and she and Gambit got "intimate", Hank and Logan told Jubilee about their crush, and she just belched and passed out from too much liquor. Scott and Jean were drunkenly making out on the floor.
**********
Elsewhere, in the sewers...
"Turtles, my senses indicate that the notorious X-Men, who have taken away so much of our popularity and success, are now drunk and barely able to move. I say we attack NOW!"
"Whoa, but Splinter, the X-Men kicked Shredder's ass! We couldn't do that for... well, ever."
"Shut up, Raphael. I know best."
"I don't know dude, maybe he's right. We could, like, order some pizza or something, and like, invite them over or something. I mean, that Jubilee chick is pretty hot."
April hit him in the head. "What do you mean, Michaelangelo? I'm not hot? I'm damn hot enough!"
"And that Jean chick, whoa. She is like..." Drool began running from Leonardo's mouth, and his eyes rolled back into his head.
"Naw, numb nuts, that Rogue babe. I could do the himijanga all night long wi..."
*BAM* April kicked him in the head with her heeled foot, then stomped out of the sewer.
"Actually, my turtles, I've always been partial to Ororo."
The 4 turtles nodded in agreement, but then Splinter came back to reality.
"The point is, if we beat the X-Men into next week and become popular again, all the chicks'll dig us again. Okay, my students."
The turtles nodded again, then followed Splinter out of the sewer and towards the X-Mansion with their respective weapons.
**********
*knock knock knock*
"Gambit will get it." Mumbled Gambit as he stumbled to the door.
"Allo? Who it be?" He asked as he opened the door.
"It is us, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! Oh, and Splinter. We're here to kick your asses so we can be popular with all the ladies!"
"Oh. Can you hang on for jus' a moment? T'anks." He said as he closed the door. He walked back to Meeting Room 4, woke everyone up, and explained the situation to them.
"Dere be 4 turtles and a giant mouse here to beat us up so dat chicks'll like 'em again. I t'ink dey wanna fight us now."
A collective groan came from everyone, as they had all drunk a lot of alcohol, and they all had amssive hangovers.
"Aw, do we gotta?" cried Jubilee.
"Yep, sorry. We don' wan' dem toilet paperin' da house or nuttin', non?"
"He does have a point." Said Scott. "Alright, let's go."
Gambit led them all to the front door, and opened it. The turtles were still there, along with the rat, and were in defensive-looking positions.
"Here's the deal" said Scott, "If we have to fight you, it's going to be in the Danger Room. The sun is WAY too bright right now, and We can't break anything in the mansion, or else Xavier'd break us when he get's back from vacation.
The turtles agreed, and they all made their way up to the Danger Room.
*********
Alright... this is part I. I hope you liked it. If you didn't well, too bad, because I'm running a really high fever and have a wretched headache. So, if you like it, I'll do a Part II, which is their fight and stuff, and if you don't like, then I'll trash it. I can't really tell, as I'm hyped up on pills, so reviews will determine whether I do Part II or not.