Closure

by Roeskva

What starts out as a pretty normal day for Lantash, quickly becomes anything but. Tok'ra I&II as seen from Lantash's POV

TITLE: Closure
CATEGORY: Angst
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret Productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment only and not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
SUMMARY: What starts out as a pretty normal day for Lantash, quickly becomes anything but. Written for "Stargate Second Lives" challenge in phoenix_gate on DW, for the prompt: Martouf|Lantash, their POV during Tok'ra I&II. Story is from Lantash's POV
SPOILERS: Tok'ra I & II
RATING: PG-13, at most
CHARACTERS: SG-1, Martouf/Lantash, Yosuuf/Garshaw, Malek
PAIRING: None, but mention of Rosha/Jolinar/Martouf/Lantash, Lantash also shows a little bit of interest in Sam

* indicates host/symbiote internal communication.

---

We are travelling back from Tarneth, where we have traded iron and medicinal powders for grain. It is a rather primitive planet, like so many Goa'uld worlds, with the population kept too small and too overworked to have the energy and resources to develop technologically and culturally.

I feel anger every time I am reminded of what the Goa'uld do to the people of this Galaxy! Again I wish there was a quicker way to change things, to stop the System Lords from committing these crimes. Indeed, as is our official goal: 'To kill the System Lords and affect a change in the way of life for all Goa'uld'.

If it can even be done. Sometimes it all feels so hopeless and I despair of it all. Perhaps they cannot be changed, and - truth be told - I just want to kill every single one of them.

Poison, perhaps? Like what Ren'al and Anise are considering. But first a way must be found to cure the Jaffa of their dependency of symbiotes, or they will die too.

Martouf must have listened in on my dark thoughts, and he gently reminds me that this is not all that needs to be done. A toxin that kills Goa'uld, kills Tok'ra as well.

Yes, I know we are the same species! I just hate being reminded of it!

I force my thoughts back to the subject at hand. Trading with Tarneth.

They need iron for their tools, but most of what exists on their world is hard to mine without advanced technology, and the small amounts they can get to is mixed with other minerals, making refining it hard to do with the technology they have.

We, of course, can both mine and refine the iron easily. We have scanners with which to find ore - and anything else we might want to mine. Modified tunnels crystals extract the ore easily, and once refined it is one of many goods we trade for those kinds of food we cannot easily grow in hydroponics, or hunt for. Besides food, there is a number of other resources, clothing in particular, which it is hard for us to produce without increasing the risk of detection, and which we usually buy on various planets. Grain, in particular, is one thing we must trade for, and Tareth grows plenty of it.

This time they also needed medicinal herbs, in order to treat a fever which is plaguing them. The powder we sell to them is made from a mixture of dried plants. It works, but it is no where near as effective as it could be.

Of course, making an effective medicine for them would give away who we are. Simple traders - as we pretend to be - would not have access to the necessary technology. Giving them more advanced medicine would endanger them as well, should someone find a more modern drug in their possession.

I really hate the Goa'uld! Even indirectly they cause suffering that could so easily be avoided!

Martouf soothes me, and tells me to relax. He agrees with me, of course, but reminds me we do our best. One day, hopefully, we will succeed.

Hope...sometimes everything seems hopeless. If only Jolinar and Rosha were here with us. They are never willing to give up. Just being near them always lift our spirits.

However, they have now been missing for many months. The last we heard, Jolinar feared Cronus was suspecting her.

Then...silence. I dearly hope she has managed to flee, and is hiding somewhere. Waiting to return.

Martouf suggests morosely that she would have returned already, or contacted us in some way, if she could.

We both fear the same. However, she has succeeded against impossible odds before. We have to believe she can do so again. Have to believe she will return to us, alive and well.

I - and the nine other Tok'ra with me - each pick up another sack of grain. It is the fifth, and last, for each of us to carry. Something for which I am happy. They are very heavy. 50 sacks of grain. Even for a large base such as ours, it will last for quite some time. I just hope the Goa'uld do not make a surprise attack soon, and we are unable to bring the grain.

Martouf concurs. We would both really hate that!

Tired, we walk the rest of the way to the chaapa'ai.

---

"That is the last sack?" Rihna asks, as she makes a note in her register.

"Yes. It is - and it is a good thing, too, or my arms would reach the ground!" Martouf complains.

I 'hug' him, and begin to work on our sore muscles.

Rihna grins. "Yes, now is one of the times I am very happy I do not have such a strong host like you!"

Martouf rolls his eyes, but I sense he is a little flattered, despite the fact that he knows she is just teasing him.

It is almost time for noon meal. The village we have traded with this time, is located in a time zone seven hours ahead of our base. It has already been a long day, and we have worked hard for many hours. I am feeling very hungry, and so is Martouf. However, we have heard one of our agents - Malek - has just returned with new information. We both wonder if he might have some news about our Jolinar.

The debate is quickly over. Despite our hunger, we both feel food can wait - for a little longer, anyway. We hurry to Malek's quarters, hoping he has finished being debriefed.

Martouf knocks hard on the resonant crystal located just beside the doorway. Moments later, I hear Malek's voice from inside the quarters.

"Enter."

We walk through the short corridor and turn into the part leading to the room itself. While private quarters do not have a door, they are always connected to the main corridor with a short, bent passageway. It provides a little privacy and peace, and dulls any sounds, almost as much as a door would, though of course everyone could enter if they wanted. It is a way of showing openness and trust among the Tok'ra.

"Malek...welcome back. I trust you and Johan are well?"

"Yes, thank you, Martouf. It is good to see you. It has been almost three seasons, has it not?"

"It has, yes." Martouf hesitates, wanting to ask about Jolinar.

"You wish to inquire about Jolinar" Malek observes. It is not a question. He knows us well. "I am sorry, but I have no new information."

Martouf nods. "I did not expect any. I just thought...maybe..."

"At least I do not have any bad news for you. There is still hope. Others have returned after longer time has passed. Jolinar herself has returned after having been missing for far far longer!"

"True, she has." Martouf gives him a weak smile, and decides to make an effort to think of something else. "Do you have time for a game of chess this evening?"

"Perhaps. It would be nice to sit and relax for just one evening." He sighs. "But I fear I may not have the time to do so."

"You are not leaving on another mission so soon?"

"Tomorrow morning, but it will not be such a long one this time." He looks as if he is considering something, then makes a decision. "It is not certain yet, but the Council are talking about making me a base commander for one of the smaller outposts, so I may soon get the opportunity to spend more time playing games." He smiles a little.

"I believe base commander can be quite a hard occupation, so you may find you have less spare time than you hope for," Martouf observes.

"Believe me, I will take hard work on a base any day, compared to having to pretend I am a Goa'uld, wear outrageous clothing, suck up to an arrogant idiot, and watch innocent people get tortured! I care not how much I can then lie on my back and let slaves wait on me!" Malek sighs. "I apologize. I know that is not what you meant. These missions are getting to me, so I would enjoy some time on a base, for a change."

Martouf nods. "I suppose I very much understand. I am only too happy that Lantash, ah, is well suited for other positions."

Malek laughs, and I sigh mentally.

It is no secret that I am neither fond of pretending to be a Goa'uld, nor as good at it as some. Not that I cannot do it. I most certainly can, and I would say I am quite proficient at it. However, I see no reason to make a big deal out of it, and letting people continue to believe I am not very qualified at pretending to be a Goa'uld Lord, means they will not often ask me to do so. That is fine with both Martouf and I. No matter. I have many other talents, important to the Tok'ra cause, so I care little for this minor lacking in one area.

"Well, regardless, if you come to visit me on my outpost - provided this promise turns out to come true - we can spend some time playing chess or other games."

"It sounds good. Hopefully, we will see you this evening. Otherwise, Lantash and I wish you a safe return."

"Thank you."

We hurry to the mess hall, hoping there is still some good food left. Yesterday, we only got rice gruel and bread, with some yellow-berry juice.

I hate yellow-berry juice.

Martouf grabs a tray and head straight for the food counter. The large room is already partly full of Tok'ra, many of them sitting down, eating and talking.

We quickly discover there is neither more meat, nor any more fried vegetables, but Martouf grabs the last sandwich, just ahead of Anise, who gives us an unhappy glare.

The sandwich actually looks pretty good, and we also get some vegetable soup. Things are looking up already!

Martouf reaches for the yellow-berry juice, but I decide I have had quite enough of that for a very long time. I nudge his hand so he gets the glass of milk beside it instead.

He sighs, but does not complain. However, at the last moment he takes one of the small green apples. He knows I find them so sour it feels like your whole face crunches up. I suspect he took it as revenge, but decide against commenting. Soon, we will have food in our stomach, and right now that is what matters.

---

After eating, we are feeling much better. Despite just having returned from a trading mission, we are assigned work the entire afternoon. Today we will work in the hydroponics area. Our muscles are still sore from carrying the grain, and we are weary, so I feel it is a little unfair we get this work as well.

However, with food in our stomach, we are both feeling more amiable. It is actually quite pleasant work, and most of the time it is not nearly as hard as carrying sacks of grain. The water tanks everywhere in the room is a nice change - this planet is yet again a desert planet. Why do we always have to stay on desert planets? We are an aquatic species, after all! It is not like our hosts like all that sand either.

Martouf laughs at my grumbling. I guess it is not the first time I complain about the Council's choice of base planet, however good their reasons for doing so. He agrees with me, though.

Our shift passes slowly, and nothing much happens. Martouf and I take turns cleaning the tanks. Then, about an hour before it is time for evening meal, Marnon, who also works in hydroponics today, discovers Tarellian swamp parasites in the lettuce.

Naturally, I want to break out the pesticides, but Marnon prefers to first try the predatory slugs Korra found on his last gathering mission. I hope they work, or the nasty little pests will be all over our vegetables in no time. On the other hand, I suppose putting pesticides in something you have to eat yourself later may not be such a good idea. I agree to try the slugs.

After we have let loose the - admittedly voracious - slugs, it is time to go and get something to eat. Satisfied, I watch the slugs gobble up another parasite, then give Martouf control and we head for the mess hall.

Martouf hopes there is fish for dinner tonight, but he is not the one who had to eat fish every day for 12 years during his childhood! I guess that may explain his more enthusiastic view of eating fish. Of course, I will agree to eat them sometimes, mostly to take my revenge on the evil creatures, for chasing me and scaring me when I was little. Martouf laughs at this, but promises he will look after me.

I grumble, but decide to let it slide. I hope will be either desert fowl, or perhaps rabbit...and some pie.

The mess hall is already full of people, but yay, desert fowl! With plenty of vegetables, fried tubers, and freshly baked bread! At least we get something for carrying all those heavy sacks of grain.

After dinner, Martouf just wants a quick bath and then to go to bed. I admit our muscles are still a little bit sore, despite my very capable healing. Also, we are both tired, so sleep doessound enticing.

However, I would very much like to talk to Malek for a little while before he leaves again. He is an old and good friend of mine, and besides, the company will probably be good for us. Lately, we have spent much time alone, worrying about the fate of Jolinar and Rosha. It does not help us. No one has even heard anything about their possible fate!

After a brief argument, Martouf agrees to go see if Malek is available.

It turns out he is - and he even has time for a chess-game. Martouf tells me I will have to be in control, because he just feels too tired, and we would lose the game.

I agree, reluctantly. Martouf is a better chess-player than I, but he promises to help. I suspect he will soon doze off, but I suppose we shall see.

---

The game went reasonably well. I lost, of course, but not until after more than an hour. Martouf fell asleep about 15 minutes before that, but his advice had been strange for a while, then. He apologizes profusely as soon as he realizes.

He has awaken just in time for tea and apple pie. Why am I not surprised!

After eating, we go to take a relaxing bath. We have our own small pool and other facilities in the rooms we share with our mates - Jolinar made sure of that. Relaxing, we lie in the water and soak for some time.

Jolinar. I wish I knew if she is still alive. I fear for her. If she lives, she could be a prisoner. If we are very lucky, she is hiding on some distant planet, waiting until it is safe for her to return home with no risk of leading an enemy here.

Martouf again points out that enough time has passed that she would have returned, long ago, if that was the case. He can really be depressing sometimes!

I am not so sure he is correct. Perhaps she is on a world which has a Goa'uld presence. A guarded chaapa'ai. In that case she may not be able to leave. I repeat my case to Martouf, and he admits that it may be so. We both hope I am correct.

Tired, we go to bed. Despite our exhaustion, sleep does not come easily. It has now been seven months since we last heard from our loves. They have long since been declared missing. I suspect, most think Jolinar is dead.

We do not want to give up hope, but this uncertainty is hard. Sometimes, I feel it would be better to know, even if it meant knowing our sweet Jolinar and Rosha are dead.

Finally, sleep takes us.

---

"Run! They are coming!" Jolinar shouts.

I try to move, but my legs feel heavy. It is like I move through molasses. Slowly, incredibly slowly, I move towards her.

Behind us I hear yelling. It sounds like Jaffa. I very slowly turn my head to see a large group of fearsome looking Jaffa, wearing the horned helmets of Cronus. Why would they wear those when chasing us? Why not fold them down? Folded up, it slows them down, and impairs their vision. Actually, they are wearing full armor, which will make them much heavier and ill-suited for chasing anyone. Usually, they would not wear it in situations such as this.

I turn back again, and begin to run in the same direction as Jolinar does. My legs still almost do not move, no matter how much I try to make them do so. Why am I so slow?

"Lantash, hurry!" She reaches the chaapa'ai and begins to dial out.

The shots from several staff blasts are zipping past us now. I try to duck as I continue running. The chaapa'ai is only 50 tekims away.

Suddenly, a shot hits Jolinar. She is standing by the open wormhole, keeping it open, waiting for me. She cries out, and falls to the ground.

"Jolinar! No!" Shocked and terrified, I run towards her, but I move even slower now, and I barely get any closer to the chaapa'ai at all.

Jaffa pass by me, ignoring me as they do so, and quickly approach my fallen beloved.

I lift my zat'nik'tel, but before I can fire, the Jaffa have reached Jolinar, and their leader pulls out a knife. He is lifting his hand and prepares to plunge it into her...

I wake up with a scream, my heart beating wildly. I look around, seeing only the gentle, soft light from the crystals in the walls, set to night glow. I am in my room, and no one else is here. It was a dream.

I realize I am wet from sweat, and get out of bed to change. Martouf has awoken as well, which is good, since I now realize from his words that he shared my dream.

It takes a long time for us to get back to sleep after this.

---

Next morning we are still somewhat affected by the mood from the dream. It is hard to shake the sense of foreboding. Will today be the day we learn about Jolinar's fate? Or, hope against hope, the day she returns?

Of course, we think this almost every morning.

Martouf decides a quick bath might calm our nerves, and I agree.

---

We change into the last clean uniform in our closet, and suddenly remember we need to pick up our laundry. However, first it is time for breakfast.

On the way to the mess hall, we great a few Tok'ra. Korra and Rihna give us worried glances. They are concerned about Jolinar as well, and worry about how we feel. I don't want to talk to anyone right now, and Martouf shares my feelings on this. Luckily, they all seem to understand, and leave us alone.

We grab a bowl of fruit, a glass of milk, and some bread and cheese, before we find a quiet table in a corner and begin to eat.

Today we are assigned to work in one of the laboratories. We are currently helping out with one of Thelan's studies. He is looking at more efficient hyperspace travel - something the Council finds a waste of time while we fight the Goa'uld - so he gets few resources compared to several of the other departments.

Martouf drains the last of the milk from his glass, enjoying this relatively rare treat. We only get fresh milk now and then, since it is difficult to store and heavy to trade. He gets up and goes to find Thelan, both of us feeling better after eating. The effects of the dream are beginning to dissipate.

---

The work is both interesting and challenging, and it takes all of our concentration. The time goes quickly, and before we know it, it is almost time for noon meal.

I suddenly remember our laundry, and remind Martouf. He hurries to pick it up, and finds Serra - who is in charge of laundry today - just about to leave to get some food.

She is not happy to have to find our clothing before she can go and eat, but eventually she relents. She fetches a large bag.

Looking at the note attached, she throws us a dirty look.

"You had ripped two of your pants and soiled one shirt badly - chocolate, I believe. It takes extra time when we have to fix things like that. Please be more careful in the future!"

Martouf smiles his most charming smile, and tells her he is sorry and will be more careful next time. She thaws a little and gives us our laundry, without further complaints.

I really wish I shared this ability Martouf has!

He hurries to our room, and throws the large bag of clothes in the corner. It falls open and some of the clean clothes spill out. I am sure Serra would not like that!

We arrive late in the mess hall. Typically, most of the good food is gone, but at least there is plenty of fresh bread. I repeat: Yay us for carrying all those heavy bags of grain yesterday!

It is not possible to find a place to sit alone, but the expression on Martouf's face apparently deters other people from talking to us, so we are allowed to eat in silence.

The meal is quickly finished, and before we leave the mess hall, I remind Martouf that we have guard duty this afternoon, and how long, hot, and dreary a job that usually is - and how hungry we got last time.

He goes back to the food counters and grabs some bread and cheese and cut it to make a sandwich, which he wraps in oiled paper. He stuffs it into our belt bag, together with a water bottle and a couple pieces of fruit. It just fits with the other stuff there.

Satisfied we are prepared, we go to make use of the facilities before our shift starts. Guard duty last for several hours, and we cannot normally leave unless it is absolutely necessary. Doing so might be risky, and cause everyone else to be discovered, if someone should come through the chaapa'ai at that time.

Afterwards, we go to the armoury to fetch our weapons.

Aldwin is helping the armourer today. He hands us a zat'nik'tel and a staff weapon, chatting away as he does so. He talks a lot. Apparently, he has a crush on Freya, but he - and especially his symbiote Gerim - are intimidated by Anise.

I get control, and wish them good luck. As I head for the ring transporter, I put on my hood. Someone told me that today was a relatively cool and quiet day topside, so it should not be too bad.

Still, this world has 36 hour days, so it has time to get quite hot, even if it only has one, standard sun. Martouf reminds me we should be happy the base runs on a standard 24 hour cycle, instead of following the planet's cycle. I am glad - I shudder to think how unpleasant it would be to have to follow a 36 hour cycle, and how long the Council would make our shifts be.

Soon we are covering in one of the small hiding places that have been dug in various strategic places. New ones are made regularly, and the places can easily be moved, of course.

They are easy to dig, and we use a light binding material to keep them from collapsing. They will do so on their own after a few weeks, or quickly, if we need them to. They are completely covered, except for a small opening, which we then camouflage with cloaks or blankets made so as to mimic the area around it perfectly. Even someone standing almost exactly beside you, will not discover anything.

The hiding places may be perfect from a security point, but I hate guard duty! It means many hours of sitting still, only allowing yourself to move a little to keep the circulation going. On top of that, we must be ready to freeze completely and stay in a position where we are not seen at all - and be prepared to jump up with weapons ready when the signal is given. All with only a few moments of warning, at most. There is but a short distance to the chaapa'ai, so we have no more than minutes to prepare, at most, when the signal comes.

---

The first hour passes slowly. It is already getting warm. Martouf considers eating the sandwich, mostly just to have something to do. I remind him the pass is 6 hours long, and we still have 5 of those to go. He agrees to wait, and reluctantly abandons the thought of the sandwich.

I suggest playing some kind of game, and Martouf is bored enough to say yes. He does not even mention he thinks I cheat, something he otherwise often uses as an excuse not to play.

I do not, of course! I am just better at many kinds of games and sports than he is. I have more training, and better motor-control, as well as better memory and higher strength and flexibility.

He scoffs at me, and I realize I 'thought' out loud. Oops!

Looking around the place, Martouf soon finds some small rocks, bigger and darker than the others strewn around this hole. He begins to gather them, then pour a little of the water from the bottle on the ground. The sand can now be pressed into groves, and he does so. I consider commenting that he is wasting our drinking water, and probably destroying the properties of the walls and floor of this hiding place, likely causing someone to have to repair it or make a new one.

I quickly decide it is not worth it to comment on this, and let it slide.

We play mancala for about an hour, taking care only to move minimally, so as not to disturb either the walls or the cloaking blanket serving as a roof. Martouf accuses me of cheating when I have won 5 games out of 7.

He is such a sore loser!

I have just convinced him he is in need of a rematch, when we get the signal. Someone is coming through the chaapa'ai, and we are neither expecting anyone coming home, nor visitors from one of the other bases.

Is it the Goa'uld? Have they somehow learned of our base's location? Is it a group of Jaffa merely stumbling onto this world by coincidence? Hapless traders? Or...Jolinar?

All of this goes through my head - and Martouf's as well, I know.

Dare we hope it is Jolinar coming home?

I quickly hide the thought, not wanting Martouf to get disappointed, when it turns out not to be her.

Of course, he has already had the same thought.

The chaapa'ai close again after some time, but our sensors tell us no one came through. Something did, though. We inform the Council by communicator. After some discussion, they decide to send Tersa to check it out. He quickly returns with the information that some sort of machine has rolled through.

It does not appear to be a weapon, but it has primitive sensors and equipment to transmit radio signals.

Tersa believes it was still recording, so he destroyed it, just enough to make it look like an accident caused perhaps by one of the tumbleweeds being thrown hard at it by the wind. He then made sure his footprints were completely undetectable, and hurried back to the tunnels, informing us on his way to be extra on guard, since the owner of the machine would likely re-appear soon. The technology had not looked Goa'uld, though, he told us.

Intrigued - and somewhat on edge - we all waited.

Eventually, the chaapa'ai activates again. This time our sensors told us lifeforms came through. Humans - or perhaps Jaffa, or Goa'uld.

Prepared, we wait. Patiently...anxiously.

Soon we hear talking, and I believe I sense an energy-signature from a symbiote. Jaffa? In any case, it is a small party. We are likely in no danger, even if they discover us, which is very unlikely.

The signal is given, and we all jump out, surrounding the intruders.

The group consists of only four people, all dressed alike in some type of green clothing. Uniforms, of some kind, perhaps? Are they soldiers of some enemy?

They are truly a strange group! One is Jaffa, and three appears to be human. That is very odd indeed. What Goa'uld would use human soldiers? Why send a Jaffa with them, if they are not soldiers? Not just any Jaffa. I see now he is a First Prime! One of Apophis's most trusted Jaffa!

"This one is a Jaffa. Apophis sect," Martouf observed loudly, angrily.

I wonder what they are up to - what Apophis is up to. Is this some kind of scouting party?

"I am no longer in the service of Apophis," the Jaffa claims, strangely.

I wonder fleetingly which Goa'uld he is now serving, and Martouf is echoing my thoughts out loud.

"Who then are you in service to?"

"I am allied with these, the Tau'ri, in battle against Apophis," the Jaffa answers.

The Tau'ri? Interesting. Martouf and I continue to observe while Cordesh questions them. Sometimes there are definite advantages to holding a low rank.

The humans...one of them seems to be in command, instead of the Jaffa? That is even odder than all the other things put together! Truly, I am looking forward to hearing an explanation for this.

I notice that one of the humans are wearing glasses - strange, for a warrior. Another one is a female, which is also unusual, though not unheard of.

I again reflect on how strange a group they are, when taken together. My gaze is repeatedly drawn to the female. She is blond and fair, which is quite rare. I suddenly realize she resembles our Rosha, quite a bit.

Rosha! Jolinar! Will we ever see you again, or have you been killed? By someone such as him! Martouf shares my thoughts as we glare at the Jaffa.

I realize suddenly that we have not been paying any attention to what has been said, which is another sign of how preoccupied we have been since Jolinar disappeared. Being this unobservant might cause your death, and I scold myself for not keeping my thoughts focused on the scene and helping my host.

We are fortunate indeed, that this group does not attempt anything foolish. No one will know of, or pay for our distraction.

Suddenly, the woman turns towards us, and looks straight at us. She frowns a little. "Martouf."

It is not really a question, almost more of a statement. Martouf looks as confused as I feel.

"I...do not know this woman."

"But I'm right, aren't I? That's your name, Martouf."

"It is. How do you know me?"

"I don't. But I knew someone who did. His name was Jolinar of Malk-shur."

Jolinar! She has met Jolinar! Both Martouf and I are stunned, and want to question her, but before we can find the words to say anything, Cordesh asks.

"Where is Jolinar?

"He died saving my life."

Jolinar is dead! No! That cannot be true! It must not be true. We had feared it, yes, but we still held out hope. To hear of her death like this, a careless comment from strangers...it is almost too painful to bear.

Martouf stubbornly points out that the woman called Jolinar 'he' - perhaps it was not Jolinar she met then? He decides to cling to that hope, and I do not have the heart to argue with him.

Firmly in denial - for now - he again focuses on what happens around us. We have lost some of the discussion again. We must hope no one has tried to address us.

"Assuming, of course, you are the Tok'ra," the man who seems to be the leader, says.

"And if we are not?" Cordesh asks.

"Well, I guess we all start shooting, there's blood, death, hard feelings…it'd suck."

"And if we are this thing you call Tok'ra?" Martouf say, hoping to get through all this quickly and to the point where we can question the woman further about Jolinar.

"If you are indeed the Tok'ra of Jaffa legend, we should form an alliance," the Jaffa states.

"I learned a lot from Jolinar. Enough to know that we could be good friends. And frankly, enough to know that you are the Tok'ra," the woman insists.

"I believe this one speaks the truth. Perhaps we should…just listen to what they have to say," Martouf argues, smiling a little at her.

We would both very much like to talk more to her. She must have known Jolinar quite well, for our mate to tell her about the Tok'ra. For her to described me so she would recognize me. I will admit I am fascinated by this woman. What did she do to earn Jolinar's trust, so completely? To even make Jolinar sacrifice herself for her?

*If it is Jolinar she met,* Martouf stubbornly repeats.

After a moment, Cordesh seems to decide to accept this, and he raises his hand. Everyone - Tok'ra, humans, and Jaffa - lower their weapons.

"Well, that's better, isn't it? So, take me to your leader," The alien commander demands.

"I will take you to whom you seek. But there is one condition. You must leave your weapons with us," Cordesh insists.

"Ah, no. No," the alien leader says.

"They won't hurt us, Colonel," the woman who resembles Rosha, assures him.

Her commander does not seem to trust her. "They're Goa'ulds, Carter."

How dare he! We are not Goa'uld! Martouf reminds me that to someone who do not know the Tok'ra at all, they can only think we are Goa'uld, because what else would we be? Sadly, I know he is correct. Though, if they knew Jolinar, how could they not know we are not Goa'uld? This is truly confusing!

"They won't hurt us," the woman insists.

"And you, what, feel this?"

"No, I can remember."

What does she mean by that? How can she remember anything about us, having never met us? How did she know Jolinar? Something does not make sense here, unless...I suddenly get a suspicion, but can that really be so? There is only one explanation that would truly fit, but how could she know so little about Jolinar as to call her he- if she knew her the way I now suspect she did? No, there must be another explanation! I decide to wait and see, and not speculate further for now.

"O'Neill, if they are the Tok'ra, we are in no danger," the Jaffa says.

Interesting. A Jaffa arguing in our favour.

"If you're asking for opinions, I vote we take the chance," the man with glasses adds.

"Okay. But I want it understood that we're doing this in the spirit of future relations. I expect us to be treated as such," their leader insists, reluctantly agreeing.

He and his people surrender their weapons. I take a deep breath, feeling myself relax. A potentially dangerous situation has been resolved peacefully.

Martouf waves them towards the ring transporter. "Please, come closer together."

"Why?" The leader - the one the Jaffa called O'Neill - says.

"Jack," the man with glasses implores him.

"It's okay, Colonel," the young woman insists, clearly trusting us. For some reason that pleases me greatly.

"Oh, it is?"

Despite some reluctance, they do as Martouf asks, and stand closely together. The transport rings rise up from the ground and encircle us.

We materialize in the tunnels, and I notice our guests look around with surprise. I cannot fully concentrate on them, my thoughts and those of Martouf's are occupied with the new information that Jolinar - and almost certainly also Rosha - are now dead. If we can trust what we have been told?

"This way," Cordesh tells them, and starts walking through the tunnels, going to find them a place where our guests can wait while we alert Garshaw.

I follow him, and I notice our visitors trail us at some distance, clearly very much in awe by the tunnels, from what I hear of their discussion. Martouf and I are still mostly preoccupied by the information about Jolinar. I ask Martouf to keep control, while I spend some time thinking about Jolinar, remembering her, and begin to mourn her. Martouf is again pushing all those thoughts away, refusing to think of our mate as dead.

Besides, as he points out, one of us must keep a clear head if we are to be able to function. The sorrow is overwhelming me, and I am grateful that Martouf will take care of any interaction we must have with our surroundings.

---

Martouf calls my attention and I pull myself out of my sad thoughts. I quickly glance through his memories of the recent events. Impressive - they are among those that killed Ra. We had heard Ra's killers were from the Tau'ri, but we had not managed to get much other information about what had happened.

Garshaw has admitted we are Tok'ra. She really seems to enjoy the dramatic effect!

Ah, I see Garshaw has just asked about Jolinar, and about how the Tau'ri learned about us from her. That is very interesting, and both Martouf and I concentrate on listening.

"Well, I…uh…it's a long story. We were on this planet, Nasya, and the Goa'uld were attacking. Jolinar's host was killed, so he jumped into me while I was trying to save his host."

It really hurts hearing this! Then I notice something. His host? Did Jolinar have a male host? What had happened to Rosha? Wait! Jolinar jumped into the young Tau'ri woman? Did she volunteer? She was Jolinar's host? My suspicions were true. I feel both my and Martouf's heart beat faster.

"Please, excuse me. Did you say that Jolinar's host was killed?" Martouf asks, desperate to know what happened to Rosha, and Jolinar.

"Yes. I'm sorry," the woman says, sensing this is important to us. Well she should, if she was blended with Jolinar!

"But...Jolinar lived on?" Martouf forces the words out around a thick lump in our throat. He is hurting, as am I.

"Ah, yeah, for a while at least. Inside of me. Should I continue?"

"Please," Garshaw says.

The young Tau'ri woman, who turns out to be called 'Captain Samantha Carter', explains how Jolinar had taken her as host during an evacuation of the planet Nasya. Captain Carter did not even know Jolinar was there, and she and her people had never heard of the Tok'ra.

How could Jolinar do this? Why would she take an unwilling host, and then suppress this host? Even if the situation was grave, I do not understand it.

Also, she apparently was hiding in a male host before. What has happened to our sweet Rosha?

Confused, and hurting, we again turn to listen to what the others are saying.

"So, am I to understand you did not invite Jolinar to use you as a host?" Garshaw asks.

"That is correct. He did it in an emergency situation to escape an assassin."

An assassin? Is she talking about an ashrak? How long has he been trailing Jolinar? Who hired him? Did he kill Rosha? Also, how did Jolinar die - and her new host not? So many questions! We really need to find an opportunity to talk to this young woman, in privacy.

"Then if you were not a voluntary host, how do we know that you did not kill Jolinar yourself?" Cordesh wants to know.

Such a stupid question! Surely these humans are not advanced enough to know how to kill a symbiote, while letting the host survive?

"Um, well, because I…I didn't. I mean, I guess you're just going to have to trust us on that," Captain Carter says, uncertain.

I am about to reassure her we do not suspect her, indeed, that the question is foolish, when Cordesh inquires further. He has always been somewhat harsh and suspicious, but he seems to have started to behave very strangely some time ago. I wonder what is wrong with him?

"And why should we trust you?"

The alien leader, O'Neill, rises from his seat, looking irritable. I think he does not like Cordesh's continued insinuations.

"You know something?" He walks over to stand before Garshaw and Cordesh. "I've been asking myself the same damn question. Why should we trust you. You are, after all, Goa'ulds."

The man with the glasses tries to stop him. "Jack…!"

O'Neill points a warning finger at him. "Ah! Don't! We've done nothing but get interrogated here. Now, are we prisoners? And are you Goa'ulds?"

"J…"

"Neh!" He cuts him off, making it clear he does not want any interference.

"You are not and I have told you we are not Goa'uld." Garshaw looks as if she is getting angry. She flashes her eyes.

That is probably not the best idea if you are trying to convince someone you are not a Goa'uld!

"I didn't…Why do you talk like that? And what's with the glowing eyes? Huh? Might it have something to do with a little reptilian activity in your heads?"

"We have symbiotic creatures within us, yes."

Garshaw really does not look happy now! I glance worriedly between her, Cordesh, and O'Neill, hoping this will not escalate. I wish for a chance to talk with Jolinar's last host. There is so much I want to ask her, but as things are going, I doubt she will want to talk to me.

Actually, I am surprised they are even coming here. If Jolinar took her as a host, against her will, then she must be angry at her. What are they doing here?

One thing is certain, if we get our chance to talk to her, then Martouf had better stay in control. I doubt she will feel comfortable talking to a symbiote, and Martouf is a better diplomat than me, anyway. Not that I will admit it to anyone, of course.

Martouf snorts at my comment, and I realize I have again 'thought' out loud. This whole situation is getting to me. I am usually better at controlling myself than this!

"Well then!" O'Neill says, sounding as if what Garshaw said is just proving his point. I do not think he likes symbiotes much, but I suppose I cannot blame him. They have only just learned of the Tok'ra, and one of them took one of his people against her will. It was not the best first impression.

"Well then, you can see how we might think you would be a danger to humans. You take humans as hosts," the man with the glasses say. I think they called him 'Daniel' earlier.

"Goa'uld take hosts. Tok'ra do not. Ours wish to be so," Garshaw assures him, with some pride.

"We have a truly symbiotic relationship," Martouf adds.

"No offence, but why would any human volunteer to be a host for a Goa'uld?" Daniel asks.

I see Garshaw bow her head momentarily, so I guess Yosuuf will be answering this. She lifts her head and steps forward.

"Um…Perhaps I can…I can help you? I am Yosuuf. I am Garshaw's host. I speak freely without restraint or censor. All of us who serve as hosts volunteer to do so freely."

"Okay, well, maybe you can answer my question then. Why would any human volunteer for…for that?" Daniel asks.

Yosuuf seems to have the explanation well in hand, and I allow myself to return my focus to our mates. Rosha! Jolinar! My sweet beloveds! I cannot yet truly believe or accept that you are gone!

---

When I again return my focus to my surroundings again, Martouf has just begun talking to our guests.

"Her host's name is Saroosh. She is one of the oldest and wisest among us, an important leader for our cause. However, she is unfortunately very ill, and will soon die."

A quick check of Martouf's memories tells me that Garshaw and Martouf are introducing our guests to Saroosh and Selmak. They are talking about the differences in how Tok'ra and Goa'uld live, and that we do not use the sarcophagus.

"That's because you don't use the sarcophagus, right?" Captain Carter asks.

"That's correct. We believe to do so would drain the good from our hearts," Martouf explains.

"I can vouch for that," the Tau'ri called Daniel, says.

I wonder what he has experienced? It sounds as if he is talking from personal experience.

"That's why our numbers don't grow large enough to defeat the massive forces aligned with the System Lords," Martouf tells them.

"Zero or negative population growth. Since you won't take new hosts by force, most of the time the Goa'uld dies with the host," Captain Carter comments, understanding.

"And this is what is about to happen to Selmak," Garshaw says.

"Unless one of you wishes to volunteer to serve as a host," Martouf adds.

I am not so sure they will react well to that! Somehow, something tells me these people are not here to become hosts. Probably, Captain Carter's experience with Jolinar make it unlikely any of them will volunteer. It is a bitter thought.

"I'm going to pass on that," O'Neill says.

Daniel looks terrified. "Yes, although it does s…sound very fascinating, I think it's a little too long term for me."

Now I really wonder what he has experienced?

Captain Carter reacts badly as well, and I can see her getting upset. "I'm sorry, I've already been through that."

I was right. It was nota good idea to ask them, and I make it clear to Martouf that I do not think we should pursue this line of questioning. It will defeat our purpose of getting information about what happened to Jolinar, without any chance of getting a host for Selmak.

Martouf is feeling bashful, and he runs after Captain Carter as she hurries out of the room.

She leans over one of the reflecting pools in the waiting room, wetting her face. Martouf comes up behind her and touches her on the shoulder. She gasps and turns to face us. I warn him not to scare her further, and he assures me he will not.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"You shouldn't sneak up on a person like that."

Garshaw comes into the room, together with the rest of Captain Carter's team, and a couple guards. Martouf and I wish they would have left us alone for a little longer, as it would have been nice to get a chance to talk to Captain Carter.

"We did not mean to upset you with the suggestion of becoming a host," Yosuuf assures all of them.

Martouf promises me he will handle any interactions we need to have, and will call my attention again if it is something I need to answer, or something that gives us more information about Jolinar.

---

Martouf has asked Captain Carter to take a walk with us on the surface, so we can talk with her about Jolinar!

I quickly glance through Martouf's memories of the recent events. Captain Carter believes Jolinar when she said she would leave her. That is something. The Tau'ri apparently wants an alliance with us. They suggest we can exchange information and go on missions together. Garshaw, unsurprisingly, rejects the idea.

To be honest, I can see some advantages to it. Extra intelligence is always useful, and we sometimes need someone to - for instance - play the roles of slaves in the entourage of someone pretending to be a Goa'uld. Now and then we also have missions where we need to use more force than what we usually do - if the Tau'ri wishes to fight with us, then they could certainly attack together with us, lending us much needed manpower.

Not to mention...if they are out there, fighting the Goa'uld, and killing them, then it is to both theirs and our advantage that we know of each other, and do not kill each other by accident. I need to talk to Garshaw about this, if she does not see it for herself.

It is true that they are not as advanced as we are, but I still think we could work well together in some situations. They have even destroyed two of Apophis's ha'tak's when he attacked their world.

Of course, that would not have endeared them to Garshaw. We had operatives on board those ships. Operatives who died. I know one of them was Khogal, a very old and dear friend of Garshaw's.

At least she now knows what happened to him. Besides, the Tau'ri had no other choice. They did not know there were Tok'ra onboard, and they needed to defend their planet.

Yosuuf is somewhat more positive to the idea of an alliance, and has promised to talk to the Council. We shall see what happens.

To be honest, I will have to admit there is another reason I wish for an alliance with the Tau'ri. I would like to talk more to Captain Carter, and hear what she can tell me of Jolinar's last days. That is not all. She fascinates me, and had Jolinar lived - and had Captain Carter agreed to let her stay - she would have been our mate. How can I not be interested in her? Wish to get to know her better? Martouf agrees, but like me, he feels a little guilty even thinking of another woman so shortly after our dear Rosha and Jolinar have died.

For now, at least, the Tau'ri remain here. They are to stay as our 'guests', until the Council has decided if they can be trusted.

We are walking with Captain Carter, along a ridge, not far from the chaapa'ai.

"You feeling any better?" Martouf asks.

"Yeah, thanks."

"Please, ah, tell me of Jolinar."

We both eagerly await her answer.

"I get the feeling you knew him way better than I ever did."

Martouf smiles a little, thinking of Jolinar. "I'm sure. For one thing, he was a she."

"What? You're kidding!" Captain Carter looks shocked.

Again, I am struck by the thought that her time as a host must have been very brief indeed, and that they clearly did not blend.

"Well, actually, that isn't accurate. The symbiote does not have a gender. However, Jolinar has always been in female hosts," Martouf explains, trying to make her understand.

"Well, actually, the host I found him in, her in, was a male."

"Really? Must have been another method of hiding from the Ashrak. Tell me of Jolinar's last days."

What happened to Rosha? Both Martouf and I very much want to ask this young woman that, but we must take it slow, not wanting to scare her. I sense she is not completely comfortable with her experience as Jolinar's host.

"Well, it's kind of weird, it's like I'm left with these intuitions, feelings. I know this, she sacrificed herself to save me. That speaks a ton about her character as far as I'm concerned," She tells us.

Jolinar sacrificed herself for her! Our brave, lovely Jolinar! Suddenly it all becomes real to Martouf. Suddenly he can no longer deny the truth. Jolinar is dead. I feel his deep grief, feel how our throat constricts. He is close to tears, as am I, but I have spent some short time thinking about her, remembering her, and trying to come to terms with her death.

It will be a long time yet before I am able to think about her without feeling like crying. However, my dear Martouf is inconsolable right now, and he needs some time to get his feelings under control. We do not want to break down and cry in front of this young woman.

*Martouf? Do you wish me to take over?*

*Yes. Please...please do.*

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" Captain Carter asks, sensing our distress.

Martouf bows his head and gives me control. I take a moment, doing my best to control my emotions before looking up. I try to smile reassuringly at her.

"I'm sorry, Martouf is having a more difficult time handling this than I am."

That is a lie - though right now he is reacting rather strongly, while I...think I can suppress my feelings for a little while. We both look forward to spending some time alone, grieving, but we also desperately need to know what Captain Carter can tell us about Jolinar's last days.

"So you're his symbiote, Lantash, right?"

"Yes. Martouf is the name of my host." Stupid, stupid! She knows that! Think, man! Get yourself together and talk to her. Normally.

"Yeah, I knew that. I seem to know pretty much everything about you. When I'm with you, I feel a different sort of, I don't know, recognition, than I do with the other Tok'ra. Is there something different about your relationship to Jolinar?"

"Jolinar and I were together for nearly…100 of your years. She was my mate," I tell her.

"Oh. Ho…How does that work? She was whose mate? Martouf or Lantash?"

I smile, again thinking of Jolinar and Rosha. This time my thoughts of them are happy. "Both." I briefly think of how Martouf reacted the first time he met my mates, when he had just become my host. It is a nice memory.

Martouf is feeling better, and we both agree it is better he takes over control. If Captain Carter does not feel comfortable with symbiotes yet, it is better she talks to Martouf.

I dip my head, giving Martouf control.

He smiles, a little sadly, at Captain Carter. "Now let me attempt an explanation. As I said before, ours is a truly symbiotic relationship. So what I feel, Lantash feels. And what Lantash feels, I feel."

"So when one of you is in love, you both feel it."

"Yes, we love as one. And, and we mourn as one."

Martouf and I both feel a wave of sorrow again.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. We want you to truly comprehend this so that you'll better understand us," Martouf assures her.

"Okay, well, I am curious. What..what was Jolinar's host like?"

"Jolinar's host, Rosha, was very beautiful. She had eyes like the oceans of Marloon, hair was the colour of the sand on Abydos, and her smile was, was as infectious as laughter. In fact, Rosha looked very much like you Captain Carter. You are very beautiful. You'd make a lovely new host for Selmak."

*Careful!* I warn Martouf. Yes, I agree. She is beautiful, and it would be wonderful if she would stay here in the tunnels. I would love to get to know her better, but I fear suggesting she become a host - so soon after her experience with Jolinar - may scare her.

Captain Carter turns away from us, looking distressed.

"I'm sorry, I…I've said something to offend you," Martouf says, ashamed.

"No. Yes! It's difficult enough with just the remnants of Jolinar in here. The last thing I need is another person…symbiote…whatever."

She sits down on the edge of the ridge we have been walking along, and we remain standing some distance away. We feel dejected. I urge Martouf to try and apologize to her.

"I didn't mean to upset you so," He tells her, walking over to her and crouching down next to her.

"It's just the thought of going through that again."

"Don't give it another moment's thought. It was an inappropriate suggestion. Please understand that it came from an honest, deep desire to have Jolinar back in my life in some form," Martouf assures her.

That is true, and I feel the same, but I very much fear that is not going to make her happy.

"This must be what it feels like to be schizophrenic."

"What is schizophrenic?" Martouf asks, echoing my thoughts.

"It's a mental illness humans have. It's like a split personality. Two people in one brain. I mean, there's me, Samantha Carter, and then there's this leftover part of Jolinar that feels things like…"

"Like…?"

"Like some pretty deep feelings for you."

She feels what Jolinar felt for us?

"Jolinar's left this imprint on your mind?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, but…"

"No! It's just…what you had, you and Jolinar, you were in love longer than I've been alive! Hell, longer than I will be alive!"

She feels what Jolinar felt for us? But they were together so short? Jolinar would not have blended with her, if she considered leaving her. How, then, does this beautiful young woman feel what Jolinar felt for us?

"She left this feeling with you? You can feel how she felt for me?" Martouf asks, no more hearing what she just said, than I did. I hope it was not important that we heard it.

"Yes. And it's confusing the hell outta me."

"Why?"

"Because it's not just in my mind like a memory, I feel it. Like I've had this relationship with you for 100 years. I don't know if I can describe it with words. What Jolinar felt for you, I don't even think I'm capable of comprehending."

Jolinar's feelings for us still exists! Martouf and I cannot think of anything else. We both smile, feelings a sudden happiness.

"Maybe there's another way you can communicate it. Perhaps in a way other than words." Martouf implores her, holding a hand out to her. She takes his hand, and we interlock our hands. Slowly, she looks up, and we gaze into one another's eyes.

For a moment, it feels almost as if Jolinar is here, telling us a last goodbye. It is as if we can feel her - actually, we can sense a remnant in Captain Carter, but that is not what I mean - we can feel her emotions. Captain Carter is very beautiful, and very kind. She seems...compassionate. Intelligent, I think. If Jolinar had lived, and Captain Carter had remained her host, I think we would have been very happy with her as our mate. For a little while, it is as if time stands still.

Then, suddenly, I realize someone is talking to us. How did we not notice them arriving? How long have they been here? Why did we not even sense the energy signatures from the Tok'ra? Were we really that deeply enchanted?

I look towards Captain Carter again, and I realize that yes, we were. I think we really want to get to know her better. Her - and not just because she was host to Jolinar and carries a part of her still. Yes, also because of that, but not just because of that.

"Sam!" Daniel repeats.

Captain Carter looks at us again. She appears to still be caught in her memories, and the emotions of the moment. Slowly, she pulls herself out of it.

"Daniel," she finally says, and lets go of our hand.

Immediately, I feel a loss when she lets go.

Daniel looks wary. "Learning a lot about Jolinar?"

"Yeah, you'd be surprised how much."

"Um, the Tok'ra Council's agreed to meet with us. Jack thought you might want to be there."

"Yeah." Captain Carter actually seems as if she would rather stay here with us, and I cannot agree more. Why do they come here and bother us? Though, I suppose the Council meeting is very important.

Martouf helps Captain Carter to her feet and we all start back towards the tunnels. Daniel looks strangely at us as we pass him.

---

Back in the tunnel, we go to our quarters, in order to spend a short time alone, collecting ourselves, while Captain Carter and her team are taken to the Council. Passing Aldwin, he tells us that we have been reassigned to Council runners and attendants for the Tau'ri for the rest of the day. He agrees that we should take a short break and get our emotions under control first, though. He will cover for us, if we are needed before we return. We promise to be back in a little while, and thank him.

We hurry back to our quarters. Martouf opens the bottom drawer and takes out a holocube, then sits down on the bed. He flips through some images of Rosha and Jolinar. Some of the pictures are of them here, and in various daily situations. Some show us together with them, usually smiling and happy. He stops the flow of images on a picture of Rosha and Jolinar smiling sweetly at us, and puts the still active cube down on the table beside the bed.

We look at the image of our beloveds, and think back to some of the wonderful times we have had with them. Soon the tears come, and we lie on the bed, clutching Jolinar's pillow, imagining we can still smell her.

---

Maybe half an hour later, we pull ourselves together and get up from the bed, then walks to the wash basin to freshen up a little, then goes to use the facilities. We straighten our clothing, then leaves to return to our duties, as runner for the Council, and to accompany the Tau'ri, and see to their needs.

Garshaw and the rest of the Council members that are currently on base, are meeting with the Tau'ri. We are approaching the newly grown Council chamber, when a guard runs up to inform me that more Tau'ri have arrived through the chaapa'ai.

I hurry to the Council chamber and give Garshaw the information, then return to my position outside the room, as the guards lead the Tau'ri inside. I wonder why they have come?

I hear loud voices and angry words from in there, and not long after I learn that the Council has turned down the offer of an alliance! I disagree, but there is not really anything I can do. Martouf and I would still very much like to talk more with Captain Carter, but perhaps we will get that chance. The Council has decided the Tau'ri will not be allowed to leave until this base moves to another planet, so that they will not know how to find us.

I hope Captain Carter will talk to me, despite the fact that she and her people cannot feel too friendly towards us right now. I do see the Council's point of view as well - it is dangerous for us every time someone learns anything about us, and for someone to know the address to our largest base could mean disaster.

Yes, I trust Captain Carter and her team when they say they will not allow our enemies to learn of us, but they may not have a choice if the Goa'uld capture them. Especially since she carries some memories of Jolinar's. I wonder how many of her memories...a few...many...all? Even if she cannot currently access more than a few of them, there could very well be a lot of them in her mind.

The other Tau'ri team came to inform Captain Carter she must return to see her father before he dies. The Council will not let her, and I feel very sorry for her. I very much wish I could help her.

Suddenly, a guard enters and tells us the Tau'ri wishes to talk to Garshaw, and I accompany her there, as both her guard, and as a runner, should she need anything.

"What is it?" Garshaw asks.

"You said that the symbiote can cure most problems in a human." Captain Carter begins.

"Yes," Garshaw confirms.

Of course we can, easily.

"Does that include cancer?"

"What is cancer?" Martouf asks. We are both confused, wondering what it is.

"It's a disease in humans where the cells grow out of control, you get tumours…" Daniel explains.

"Oh yes, it's a common ailment amongst your species. We cure it all the time, it's no problem," Garshaw assures him.

"Colonel, I think we should at least try to offer it to my Dad?"

Captain Carter's father is sick? She would consider letting him become a host? For Selmak? I am pleased - not only is there now a chance Selmak will survive, but this also means Captain Carter is not so adverse to us as I feared. The experience with Jolinar is no longer scaring her as much.

I am relieved. I do not want fear and revulsion to be Jolinar's last host's memory of my beloved. Also, this means Captain Carter may one day reconsider, and become a host - if our people should become friends, which I very much hope. In any case, it is likely I will see her again, if her father becomes a host.

Her team mates look at her, not as convinced this is a good idea as she seems. Eventually, the alien leader, O'Neill, looks towards Garshaw.

"We might have a host for you."

"You have a host for Selmak?" Garshaw sounds happy, of course.

"Yes. My father. He's got cancer and if Selmak can save his life, I think he'd be willing to try it."

"But you have to let us go back," O'Neill argues.

Garshaw seems to think it over for a while, of perhaps she is discussing it with Yosuuf. "I will let two of you go. But the rest will remain to ensure that you will return."

I feel relief. Captain Carter will be allowed to go see her father, and she will return with him, hopefully. I do believe she will return. I will see her again. That pleases me very much.

---

We have just passed the transportation rings in the tunnel, when they activate. I stop and wait. Perhaps Captain Carter and O'Neill are returning already?

Moments later, Ronnak appears. He looks agitated.

"Martouf. The scout in the Shoran'ka quadrant has just reported in. The Goa'uld System Lords have learned of the location of our base. They are sending two motherships. They will be here in less than a day, perhaps as soon as in a few hours."

"That is bad news for sure. I shall inform Master Garshaw immediately."

Martouf turns and runs to the room where we expect we will find Garshaw. This is urgent, and we must push our own problems aside completely.

Running into the room where the Tau'ri are waiting, we spot Garshaw.

"Master Garshaw, we just received word from our scout in the Shoran'ka quadrant. The Goa'uld System Lords have been told where we are. They have dispatched two motherships."

"When will they arrive?"

"Within the day, perhaps hours.

"Start the evacuation!" Garshaw orders.

We leave the room quickly, to spread the word of evacuation among the Tok'ra. After doing so, we run to our own quarters and pack our belongings - and those of Rosha and Jolinar's. It is for later to decide what to do with those, and we are fortunately in too much of a hurry to think long about the things as we pack them - something which we otherwise would.

---

We close the chest after putting the last piece of Jolinar and Rosha's clothing in it. Everything we own - and everything our loved ones had - is now packed. I have just put a mark on it to show who it belongs to, when Silla, Korra, Khonak and Thova come to check if we have something that is ready to be moved.

"Yes, you can take the chests and the box. All is packed."

They nod and take the things, then leave quickly with our stuff. We stay for a moment, looking at the room.

For once, we have stayed on this planet for several years, and we have many happy memories from here. We both smile as we look at now bare bed, and think of our wonderful mates, and all the pleasure we have had together. We look at the divan. Without the blankets and pillows, it is just crystal, of course, like all of our other furniture. Still, we have fond memories of sitting in it with our mates, laughing and talking - or making out.

So many fond memories, most of things we have done with Rosha and Jolinar, even when we have sat here with other friends, talking, drinking tea or wine, playing various games. Almost always with our beloveds at our side.

I have been together with them for almost 100 years. Martouf has been with them since he became my host, 25 years ago. Neither of us can imagine our lives without them. What are we to do? Everything feels empty, and both Martouf and I just want to sit down in a corner and cry. I cannot allow myself to give into my sorrow again, one of us mustbe able to function. The evacuation must be completed before we can take time to ourselves, and grieve fully.

I offer to keep control and allow Martouf time to mourn, but he does not want me to have to handle everything alone. He is a wonderful, dear friend, the best I have ever had, and I 'hug' him warmly. We will get through this together. For now, we will push our grief aside and focus on what must be done.

Taking a deep breath, we take a last look at the small pool in our bathroom, and I allow myself a moment to think of the last time we bathed with Rosha and Jolinar. We sat in the water, drinking sparkling wine, the room lit by many candles Jolinar had brought from Illunis V. We talked and kissed, and made love in the water. It was...perfect. I close my eyes, and when I open them, I turn my back on it all and go to help with the rest of the evacuation.

---

People are rushing around, moving equipment, everywhere we go. We start helping those that carry things to the ring transporter, for moving to the surface and then through the chaapa'ai. They have already gotten much moved out, and both Martouf and I feel a light stab of guilt, for having spent personal time, standing around in our quarters and doing nothing, in the middle of an evacuation.

We grab one end of a crate, and Aldwin takes the other, and we start carrying it towards the ring transporter.

I notice that the Tau'ri are helping to move equipment and belongings. It is a good sign for the future. Perhaps, an alliance is still a possibility? Now we just have to hope Captain Carter and O'Neill return with her father in time for Selmak to blend with him before the Goa'uld arrive. I doubt very much that Selmak and Saroosh will survive being moved.

We place the crate on top of another, then decide to go and see if those caring for Selmak are in need of assistance. I wonder if they have had time to pack their belongings? Martouf agrees that we should hurry to see if they need us to take over for them, and we run along.

I step into the room Selmak is lying in. Joinna/Sivesh and Noh'ak/Tawoosh are there, fanning Selmak and seeing to her needs. She does not look well, and when I see she is asleep, we decide we should probably let her do so for now.

I nod at the attendants, and ask in a low voice. "How is she faring?"

"Not well," Sivesh answers.

"Will they survive being evacuated?"

Sivesh and Noh'ak look at each other, then at me. They both shake their heads slowly.

I sit down on the sleeping platform and wait for Selmak to awake. Only a short time passes before Captain Carter enters the room with an older man who looks sick. Her father, presumably?

"You have returned."

"Yes. This is my father, Jacob Carter," she tells me.

"Honoured." I bow my head, giving Martouf control, so he can greet them as well.

"I am Martouf. You have a very special daughter."

"Why does he talk like that?" Jacob Carter asks.

I suppose there has not been time to explain much to him about the Tok'ra. It is a credit to him that he is willing to meet us and consider this anyway.

"He's a Tok'ra, Dad. I told you about them."

"Oh, so these are the aliens you were telling me about?"

"Well, I don't know if I'd call them aliens, sort of half alien I guess. I mean, the outside is human, and the inside is shared between a human and a symbiote. Martouf is actually two different…souls, I guess, sharing the same body," Captain Carter explains to him.

It is not completely correct, but not completely wrong either. I guess it will work as a short explanation. If he becomes Selmak's host, he will understand everything immediately, anyway.

"And that's what you want me to become." He looks towards Selmak and raises his eyebrows. "You got to be kidding me."

I quietly observe them. Captain Carter's father, Jacob, is uncertain - if her world truly does not know about the Goa'uld and other worlds, then this is a lot to suddenly have to understand and accept.

---

"I'm not sure I can do this, Sam," Jacob Carter says.

"No one wishes to pressure you in any way, sir. The decision is yours, but before deciding, might I suggest that you— you take a moment to get to know the symbiote that wishes to blend with you," I suggest, reassuring him.

"This is her?" He indicates Saroosh.

"Actually, you can only see the host. The symbiote's inside her," Captain Carter clarifies.

He must know that already, though? He cannot think the symbiote is as large as a human, if it can blend with a human? Of course, he has no idea what it means to blend, so perhaps he thinks the two beings...merge physically to one? It is an interesting, if strange, thought. I decide to not attempt to guess at what he might be thinking of all of this. Perhaps I get the chance to ask him, later, if all goes well.

"Inside her," he repeats.

This proves to me that he has probably not really given any of this much thought. There is a lot to take in, of course.

"Talk to her, Dad. Get to know her," Captain Carter urges.

Suddenly, Selmak opens her eyes and looks at Jacob. She is awake again, and I feel relieved.

"If you agree to the blending, we could be together for a very long time," Selmak says, clearly having been listening for a while. She coughs.

"You don't look so good," Jacob Carter observes.

"You are no vision of beauty yourself, sir!"

Jacob Carter laughs at Selmak's comment. I hope that means they will get along well? His laugh deteriorates into a cough, and Selmak starts coughing as well. It is worrying. We Tok'ra are not used to people being weakened or sick. It is very rare for us, and somewhat unsettling.

I feel sorry for them, sorry for Selmak who will soon lose Saroosh, but there is nothing I can do. I 'hug' Martouf, relieved and pleased he is young and will be able to remain my host for many centuries to come. I assure him I will continue to take good care of him, and he 'hugs' me back.

"It's all right, sorry," Jacob Carter says when he gets the coughing under control. I think he is mostly trying to reassure Captain Carter.

"I'm the one to whom you should be talking." Saroosh has clearly taken over.

"You are the one I'm talking to. Why, why did your voice change like that?" Jacob Carter looks confused.

"That's the host talking now," Captain Carter reminds him.

"I am Saroosh. I am in the position to help you most."

"How's that?"

"I will die, Selmak will live on, you will take my place as host."

"Um, I don't understand."

They continue to talk for some time, and I stay back as much as possible. Waiting to help, when and if I am needed. They seems to be getting along well, so that is a relief, at least.

---

"Okay…what do I have to do?" Jacob Carter asks, sitting down. He looks exhausted, having just been throwing up.

I am worried that he is so sick. Selmak has been keeping Saroosh alive for quite some time, and she is probably very weakened. I suddenly get worried the blending may fail. Martouf tells me not to worry, and that neither Captain Carter's father, not Selmak have anything to lose anyway. I suppose that is correct, but I still dearly hope everything goes well. Both because I want them to live, of course, but also because I do not wish Captain Carter to have to grieve her father so soon. I do not wish her to suffer more due to the Tok'ra, than she already has.

I release control and Martouf takes over. "First, Selmak would like to interview you."

"Huh?" Jacob Carter looks uncomprehending.

"If I am to spend the next hundred or more years with you as my host, do you not think I have the right to decide if I even like you?" Selmak points out.

Jacob Carter laughs. "What's not to like? Just ask my daughter, I'm a teddy bear."

"Oh yeah, real…teddy bear."

Somehow, it is as if she does not agree. I wonder what kind of bear a 'teddy' bear is? Why would Jacob Carter use that to prove his worth? Does he mean he is normally as strong and steadfast as a bear, perhaps? The Tau'ri speak many strange words!

"How do you feel about the Goa'uld?" Selmak asks.

"Well, you're the first one I've met."

Martouf frowns, and I smile a little to myself. Selmak is not going to like this little misunderstanding!

"I am not a Goa'uld." She looks like she considers rolling her eyes at him.

"Ah, trick question?"

"Remember, Dad, I tried to explain the difference," Captain Carter says.

"Right, right, I-I apologize. I guess I've never met a Goa'uld before. Although from what Sam and her people tell me, I don't think I like them much."

Poor Jacob Carter! Selmak decides to let it slide, and she nods at us, telling us she would like to talk to him in private. I think she likes him.

We lead Captain Carter away, so Selmak can talk to her father somewhat more undisturbed. We watch from the doorway, and Martouf and I, at least, can easily hear them talk.

Martouf gives me control again, as we stand here and wait. I listen to them discuss the Tok'ra for a short time, and then Selmak asks a few questions, trying to determine her potential host's personality. She warns him, as well, that she is weak, and that the blending may fail, if he is too sick for her to cure. I wonder if Captain Carter is listening? She looks worried. Suddenly, I feel an urge to embrace her, to hold her close and comfort her, but I am afraid she will misunderstand the gesture, since we do not know each other well.

Selmak and Jacob Carter seems to have come to an understanding, and he walks over to us. He turns to talk to his daughter.

"You must hurry, we don't have a lot of time," I warn him, before returning to Selmak's side. I am very concerned the Goa'uld will arrive before the blending can be completed. They cannot be moved without grave risk of killing them, not when the symbiote has to heal the host and blend at the same time.

I try not to listen in on Captain Carter's talk with her father. It is private.

After a few minutes, they turn to us.

"Okay, what do I do?" He asks.

---

Jacob Carter and Saroosh/Selmak lie facing each other on the bed, and they are ready to complete the transference and the blending. Captain Carter takes her father's hand to reassure him - and herself.

"We do not enter our hosts through the back of the neck. This just leaves a scar that many of us find unsettling," Martouf explains.

"So why don't the Goa'uld do it this way too?" Captain Carter wonders.

"They don't wish to remember the horror of their host's face whenever they see their own reflection in the mirror. You must step away, Captain Carter," Martouf tell her, both wanting to give Selmak and Jacob Carter some privacy, and worried at her reaction at the sight of a symbiote jumping into her father.

"Goodbye, kid," Jacob Carter says.

She strokes his head. "See you soon, Dad." She walks away.

Selmak looks at Jacob, and he turns his attention back to her.

He clears his throat. "Now what?"

"Kiss me."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm not."

Jacob Carter leans towards Saroosh with his mouth open. After a few moments, Selmak jumps from Saroosh's mouth and then enters Jacob Carter's. A short while later, Selmak looks over at Saroosh. I think she is already dead, and I feel a sadness. Saroosh was a good friend.

"Goodbye, dear friend," Selmak says.

A few seconds later, Jacob Carter loses consciousness, as Selmak begins her healing and blending. I go to their side, as does Captain Carter. She takes his pulse, I think, while I pull the covers over Saroosh's face.

I give Martouf control. He has spent a moment mourning Saroosh, and thinking about some of the happy times with her and Selmak. We - Rosha/Jolinar and Martouf and I - have often played games with Selmak and Saroosh, and talked until late in the night.

Now I withdraw to take a few moments to grieve. There is much to mourn, but our grief for Rosha and Jolinar is so great that it almost supersedes all else.

"He's alive." Captain Carter states, relieved.

Martouf uses two finger to open one of Jacob's eyes, checking.

"Is he okay?" Captain Carter asks, worried.

"He's very sick. And Selmak is weak. She may not have the strength to heal him," Martouf admits, concerned.

"Well, is there anything we can do to help?"

"Nothing. Only time will tell."

We look up as a Tok'ra guard dashes into the room. It is Tohnal.

"Our scouts have spotted the Goa'uld ships dropping from hyperspace," he tells us. Captain Carter walks towards him, perhaps recognizing him from Jolinar's memories? I have noticed she sometimes looks at a Tok'ra, as if trying to remember their names. "They will start attacking from the air and through the Gate within hours. Garshaw orders that we must destroy the complex," Tohnal continues.

"We need time!" Captain Carter exclaims, then turns to us. "Can we move him?"

"If we do so, it will kill them," Martouf tells her. Unfortunately, that is absolutely the most likely outcome. We must wait.

She hurries back to her father's side and strokes his head, then sits down on the edge of the bed.

We consider what to do. Should we step aside and leave her alone? It is her father, and maybe she would prefer to sit by him alone? However, both Martouf and I feel a strong desire to comfort her. She looks so sad and alone as she sit there, and we feel sorry for her.

I urge Martouf to go to her, and perhaps take her hand. He feels she will not welcome this, but I think she will. Hesitantly, he sits down at the very edge of the bed also, and take her hand. She looks up, and he give her his shy, charming smile.

"Captain Carter?" He looks at her, questioningly.

She takes a deep breath, and gives him a weak smile, clearly grateful for the support. "Samantha."

Martouf frowns. "I do not understand."

"My name is Samantha Carter. My rank is Captain. I...I think I would like it if you use my given name, which is Samantha."

Martouf smiles. "Samantha. It is a beautiful name. Thank you." He runs his thumb gently over her hand, and she relaxes. It feels nice to touch her like this again. I am a little confused, and get a light feeling of guilt, for being interested in another woman, when I have just learned my mates of a hundred years are dead. But she is not just anyone, I tell myself. She carries the memories and feelings from our beloved. She feels her love for Martouf and me.

We sit like this for some time, not saying anything, just holding hands. It seems to comfort her, and us as well.

She is letting us call her 'Samantha'! It pleases me greatly.

---

"Martouf!" Yosuuf calls, entering the room.

Neither Samantha, nor Martouf and I had noticed anyone approaching, but we let go of each other's hands and look up.

"All tunnels but this one and the escape tunnel have vanished. All the other Tok'ra have gone to the new homeworld. We must go now!" Yosuuf urges.

"But what about my father?" Samantha asks, worriedly.

"When and if he awakens, Selmak knows where we'll be. He can follow."

"But the Goa'uld are coming, they'll capture him," Daniel says.

"If he's captured, he will die before he will reveal our whereabouts," Yosuuf assures him - and the other Tau'ri.

Something tells me they do not like to hear this, and it is hardly surprising, even if it may be necessary.

"Well, then take him with you!" Samantha exclaims.

"Or we'll take him with us," O'Neill suggests.

"I'm afraid that to transport him now, he will die. He needs to remain stationary until Selmak has completed her repairs," Martouf explains, apologetically.

"We can't just leave him here!" Samantha implores.

*We can stay and guard him?* Martouf suggests.

*Yes,* I agree. *I believe that is the best option.*

"I will remain with him. If I can get him out, I will. If not, I will allow the vanishing tunnels to consume us before the Goa'uld get here," Martouf tells them.

"I cannot allow you to die in this way. We must leave now!" Garshaw says.

Well, that was to be expected! However, she also knows that we will do so regardless.

"I'll stay," Samantha states.

"You are even more vulnerable since you contain the memories of Jolinar. I cannot allow you to stay. We must go now," Garshaw argues.

Martouf and I will not let her stay alone, of course. Garshaw should know that! We will guard her, though I must admit I would prefer she - and the last remnant of Jolinar - would agree to go to somewhere safer.

"She's right, Captain. We have to go," O'Neill says, agreeing with Garshaw.

"With respect, no, sir. I am not leaving him here," Samantha repeats, clearly not ready to give up.

I am struck by how similar to Jolinar she is in her dedication. Jolinar would not allow anyone else to argue her out of what she believed was the right thing to do.

"Captain Carter and I will both remain. I will assure that we will not be taken by the Goa'uld," Martouf assures them, hoping this compromise will work. We both agree that he should probably not call her 'Samantha' in front of the others, in an official situation such as this. It seems too...intimate, somehow, since the Tau'ri does not appear to use such familiarity in their military. Besides, the others may find it strange, that we use such familiarity, when we do not yet know each other well.

"Please, Colonel. I need to be here," Samantha implores him.

He looks at her for a moment, then clearly realizes she will not be persuaded. "Right. Daniel? Teal'c? Let's go."

Daniel, Teal'c, and O'Neill exit the room with Garshaw, leaving Samantha and us alone - with Selmak and her new host, Jacob Carter.

Martouf goes to check on Jacob and Selmak, holding a hand over his head. We sense that Selmak is still working to heal him, but that they are growing stronger. I believe they will make it, but will it happen quickly enough, or will the Goa'uld arrive before she can finish healing him?

Martouf walks over to the wall and sits down in a chair, giving Samantha some privacy as she goes to her father, putting her hand over his.

"Oh God, I hope I've done the right thing bringing him here."

"From what I understand, the alternative was no better," Martouf observes, matter of factually.

"True."

We sit in silence for a little while, each worrying about our own problems, and concerned that the Goa'uld will arrive before Selmak manages to heal Jacob Carter. Now and then we hear explosions, as the death gliders bombard the surface.

We look at her from time to time, studying her as she sits by her father. She is worried, and we feel sorry for her, again wishing we could comfort her.

*She is very beautiful,* Martouf observes.

*Yes, she is.* I look at her again. *I very much hope we will meet her again, under better circumstances.*

*I agree, that would be very nice. For some reason the thought that I should never see her again, is not a pleasant one. Probably, because she carries the last remnants of our Jolinar,* Martouf decides.

*That is some of it, yes.* I agree. Though I suspect I would want to see her again regardless. I again feel guilty, and do not mention these thoughts to Martouf.

Suddenly, Selmak awakens, and Samantha looks to him. She still looks drawn, worried.

"Ah," Selmak says, looking up at the roof, no doubt hearing the bombardment.

"Dad?" Samantha asks, uncertain.

"Martouf?" Selmak queries.

"I am here."

There are more explosions to be heard from above, and she sits up quickly.

"Should we not make our escape?" Selmak asks.

Martouf smiles, echoing the relief we are both feeling. "Yes, we should."

"Uh, is my Dad in there somewhere?" Samantha sounds worried, uncertain.

Is she suddenly worrying she has not done the right thing, and that Selmak is really a Goa'uld, and that we have all tricked her? Or that Selmak could not save her father, and that she - somehow - is now the only one in there? Or does Samantha suspect the host is no longer there after a blending? No, that she cannot, because she, herself, has been a host, and she still remains, even if she has some extra memories and feelings. Probably, it is just a sudden worry, and not her suspecting we are not who we say we are. I calm myself. It is understandable - she still knows so little about our kind, and thus quickly reverts to fear.

Selmak bows her head, giving Jacob Carter control.

"I'm here, Sammy. Oh man, talk about your hangover." He shakes his head a little.

"How are you Dad?"

"I'm awful. Headache the size of Kuwait. There's too much stuff in here," He complains, as he gets off the bed. "Whoa!"

Samantha looks alarmed, and I am a little worried too. Has something gone wrong?

"What?" She asks.

Her father laughs. "No more arthritis!" He excitedly shakes his hands and jumps a little. "Holy Hannah! No more arthritis!"

Martouf smiles, happy and relieved all is well, and Jacob Carter is just happy he is feeling better.

There are more explosions above us, and we all look up, concerned.

"We should make our leave as soon as possible. This way," Martouf observes.

---

We hurry down the corridor, after Martouf has activated the self-destruct for the rest of the tunnels. We reach the ring transporter and activate it, just in time. I wonder what awaits us on the surface.

We materialize on the surface. Fortunately, there are no Jaffa to be seen, but I can hear explosions in the distance, and there are also the sound of death gliders flying nearby. We run as fast as possible to the chaapa'ai. A few chevrons light up just as we arrive.

"The Goa'uld are attempting to come through the Gate," Martouf observes.

"Not if I dial out first!" Samantha exclaims, and begins dialing very quickly. "We'll go to Earth. You two can go wherever you need to from there." The chaapa'ai activates. "Did we open the Gate or did they?"

"We have no choice!" Selmak says, stating the obvious. We have to try if we can get through, before we are killed by the rapidly approaching deathgliders.

"Wait!" Samantha orders, and she starts punching numbers into a device.

Moments later, she gives a signal that all is clear, and we all rush for the wormhole, as deathgliders fire in our direction, but thankfully misses. We jump into the event horizon.

---

We exit and land hard on some sort of ramp. When Martouf looks up, we notice we are inside a room. There are a lot of soldiers, dressed much like Samantha and her team. They are waiting, pointing their weapons at us. Sensible, as they could not know if others followed.

The wormhole closes behind us, and we all get up, then walk down the ramp. We look around at the new place. There is a large door at the side, and above on the wall we are walking towards, there is a window into another room.

Before us we recognize O'Neill and Garshaw, standing with an older man with a bald head. Selmak walks towards him, probably prompted by Jacob Carter.

"I must give you thanks. You have saved my life and that of my new host. We thank you," she says.

"This is wonderful news." Garshaw looks relieved.

"Yes. Can we talk to your host?" The bald man says, not very politely.

I suppose he is still concerned that we are Goa'uld? Instead of getting angry, which is my first reaction, I try to tell myself that he knows even less about us than Samantha and her team, and that Jacob Carter may be someone he knows well. It is understandable he is concerned.

Selmak dips her head, giving Jacob Carter control.

He clears his throat, then looks around sheepishly.

"So when the little fella inside me is talking, do I sound like she does?" He asks.

Martouf and I almost laugh out loud. I wonder what Selmak says to being talked about like that? She is somewhat sensitive about her size, being the shortest of the Tok'ra symbiotes.

"That is correct," Teal'c observes, almost smiling.

"It's strange. I can feel myself talking, but it's not me saying the words. You know?" Jacob Carter says.

True, it is a strange feeling at first, though it was a long time since I thought of it. Martouf agrees, thinking back to when he became a host.

"Don't know. Take your word for it," O'Neill says, smiling a little.

"How do you feel?" Daniel asks.

"Well, considering I got one of those things inside me, pretty damn good!" Jacob Carter grins.

I am sure Selmak does not approve of being called 'one of those things' either! I grin a little to myself, imagining her comments.

Teal'c looks on approvingly, and the others seem quite pleased as well. This is looking good, and we may actually become friends with this people?

"Listen, George. Because of this blending thing, I already knows everything there is to know about the Tok'ra. You made the right call," Jacob Carter says with decisiveness.

O'Neill smiles, and so does Samantha. Martouf smiles as well, relieved all is going well.

The bald man, who seems to be in command, smiles. "I hope so."

"I would be proud to serve as liaison between Earth and these people," Selmak's host offers.

"Good. Well, on that note, perhaps you can ask them to come with me to do a little debriefing," the bald man says, making it clear he isin command here.

"I am afraid we cannot. We must go," Garshaw says immediately.

The commander of this base looks somewhat taken aback, clearly not used to anyone speaking against him.

"You are safe here," Teal'c tells Garshaw.

"Because of the spy, the Goa'uld may already be at the site the Tok'ra have moved to," Garshaw explains.

"You can't stay a little longer?" Samantha asks, clearly hoping for it.

I wonder if she just wants to talk more to her father, or if she would like to spend more time with me and Martouf as well?

"No, we must go quickly and stop the tunnels there before they are grown," Martouf tells them, regretfully. We would both wish we could stay longer.

"We must move the Tok'ra to yet another new home. Do you not have a dialing device here?" Garshaw asks.

"Yeah, we slapped a little one together." O'Neill looks smug.

"Hmm, you made it yourself, impressive. Will you show it to me? I would like to put in the coordinates myself." Garshaw really does look impressed - not something that happens often.

"This way," the bald man says, then leads Garshaw out of the room.

We walk with Samantha to stand a little to the side.

"I give you my word, I will watch over you father, as if he were my own," Martouf assures her.

We hear the chaapa'ai start dialing. It sounds a little differently, as if it is actually turning. I wonder if they had to make changes since they do not have a dialing device?

"Thank you," Samantha says.

"I look forward to seeing you again," Martouf tells her, for both of us.

"So do I," she says, and she looks like she means it. That gives me even more hope.

We walk to stand before the chaapa'ai, at the bottom of the ramp. I see Jacob Carter walk to his daughter. They talk for a little while, and I try not to listen. I hear him mention that Selmak is 'the oldest and wisest', and smile a little.

The chaapa'ai engages, and Garshaw comes into the room again, O'Neill accompanying her. So, it is time to leave. It will be good to get some time to ourselves, some time to grieve Rosha and Jolinar, and come to terms with all that has happened. However, we will also be looking forward to meeting Samantha again, to learn more about her and her people.

"There will come a time when the Tok'ra and the people of the Tau'ri will destroy the Goa'uld System Lords," Garshaw says.

"This'll be a good day." O'Neill looks quite friendly. I think he is starting to warm up to us, and perhaps to Garshaw in particular? He does look like someone she likes...

Daniel now enters the room, and approaches Garshaw with some sort of box. "Um…" He gives her the box. "…this box has a signature in it we can recognize. Just send it through the Gate and we'll know you want to contact us."

"Thank you. Come, Selmak," Garshaw says, accepting the box.

Samantha and her father embrace, and speak a few more words of love to each other, before he turns to O'Neill.

"Selmak says, let me see if I can translate this, don't call us, we'll call you."

O'Neill smiles at him. Jacob Carter then turns and walks together with Garshaw, and Martouf and I, up the ramp and into the wormhole.

There is much more to do before we can relax. We must move to another planet and build the tunnels there, and then move everything into place. We will all be quite tired before we can sleep - but perhaps it will be a blessing. It may help us sleep, and then we will allow ourselves time to think of our beloveds tomorrow.

For now, we are going home.

THE END.