A/N - More silliness, because less silly stories are being uncooperative and refusing to be written...
Still don't own them. Imagine the fun I'd have if I did...
Van Helsing
"What's this?"
Edgar glanced up from his position on the floor. He was sprawled on his front, surrounded by vampire comic books open at pages that might reveal important fighting tactics. In his right hand, he held a ballpoint pen, slightly chewed at the end, that hovered over a small reporters notepad covered with notes and doodles.
Over at the desk, Alan turned around from his newspaper and the large city map where he was marking the latest disappearances. Sam caught him smirk, then hide the expression by turning quickly away again.
"What does it look like?" Edgar asked.
Sam shuffled over to the other side of Edgar's bed, carefully moving his own pile of comics out of the way to avoid creasing or damaging them, and reached for the toy. He picked it up, turned it upside down, shook it, and finally gave up. "It looks like a teddy bear."
Edgar shrugged. "Well then."
"Whose is it?"
Edgar turned back to what he was doing, he turned a page and focused intently on his reading.
"Is it yours?"
Edgar turned another page and noted as he did that the vampire hunter's stake looked more like metal than wood. He put his pen to the pad and made a note of the fact next to an inexpert sketch of a stake embedded in the chest of a screaming vampire.
Sam shifted his position on Edgar's bed. Underneath him, the springs groaned.
"It's very cute," he added.
Edgar sighed. He dropped his pen onto his notebook and turned to glare at Sam. "Yes, Sam, it's a teddy bear. Yes, it's mine. Yes, it's cute. Anything else you need clarifying?"
Sam shrugged. "No, I think that about covers it."
"I've had it since I was a kid," Edgar told him, unprompted. "I keep it around because you never know when it's going to come in useful."
He didn't want to embarrass his friend any further, but this was just too good an opportunity to miss. "Useful how?" He grinned. "In case you need a hug?"
"Shut up, Sam."
Sam stopped, suddenly worried he had taken things too far. His friendship with the Frogs was still relatively new, and something that he didn't want to accidentally damage.
"Sorry," he said. He turned back to his stack of comic books. He hadn't found a single thing of note so far, and he had a sneaking suspicion that Edgar and Alan were re-reading everything he had checked anyway, not trusting his powers of observation. From its position next to the pillow, the teddy bear smiled at him. "It's just so not you," he added, "I mean, you're Edgar Frog, vampire hunter. It's a teddy bear."
"It's a very useful teddy bear," Edgar told him.
Sam shook his head. "It's okay, Edgar, you don't have to justify anything to me, there's nothing wrong with having a teddy bear. I still have plenty of old toys myself. No bears, but there's this duck I've had since I was two. It still lives on my bed. I'm not sure I could sleep without it."
Over at the desk, Sam heard Alan exhale quickly through his nose. He glanced over to find him shaking with laughter. Sam frowned.
"Okay, what's going on? Why do I get the feeling the joke's on me?"
Alan shook his head. Sam watched him wipe a genuine tear of laughter from his eye. "You win, Edgar." Alan fished into the pocket of his combat pants and tossed a coin in his brother's direction. It passed directly over Sam's head and into Edgar's waiting hand. Edgar caught it deftly and pocketed it in one fluid motion.
"Guys?"
"I thought you wouldn't be able to let this go," Edgar explained. "Alan had a higher opinion of you, but he's just been proven wrong."
"Worth it," Alan said. He was grinning widely. Sam wasn't sure he had ever seen that expression on either of the Frogs before now.
He frowned, feeling himself begin to blush. "Look, I'm glad to make you guys so happy." He closed the comic. "I'd better get going anyway. Don't want to miss dinner." He stood up to go.
Edgar leapt to his feet, accidentally creasing the corner of an issue of Destroy All Vampires as he did. He ignored the damage and moved as though to block the door to the room. "No, Sam, wait."
Sam paused, noting the complete lack of concern Edgar had shown for the vintage comic book that had been carefully bagged and boarded until that morning.
"It was just a dumb joke," Edgar told him. "Sit down, we need you here. You were right, the bear looks out of place. Keen observation skills are important in a vampire hunter."
Sam frowned but demonstrated his agreement by sitting back down on the bed. The bear stared up at the ceiling, smiling a stupid teddy bear smile. Sam glared at it accusingly.
Edgar followed him back into the center of the room, picked up the bear and turned it over so that Sam could see its back. He pushed some of the thick fur aside with his thumb to reveal a zipper sewn almost invisibly into the toy. Take a look," he told him.
Hesitantly, Sam took the bear. The end of the zipper had been removed and replaced with a tiny piece of material that matched the color and texture of the bear's fur almost exactly. He tugged at it and opened the back to reveal a small cache of weapons. A wooden stake provided a backbone for the bear, who had lost most of his stuffing to the procedure that had been performed on it. Nestled next to that were a bulb of garlic, a small sealed vial of water, presumably appropriated from one of the local churches, and a cheap looking necklace on which hung a cross, a Star of David and something else that Sam didn't recognize.
"Religious symbols, collect the whole set," he muttered with a grin.
"You've got to be prepared for anything in this business," Edgar told him. "What if a vampire got in here while I was asleep and I couldn't get to my weapons in time? Van Helsing here keeps me safe."
"Cool name." Sam grinned, nodding as he refastened the zipper and pushed the fur back into place to hide Edgar's handiwork.
"Now," Edgar said, "Are you going to get back to reading those comic books?"
Sam picked up one of the comics and flicked back to the page he had been on earlier.
"So," he said with a smirk, watching as Edgar sat back down on the floor. "You sew?"