A hell of a ridiculous tale

by Macau

A theft of peasant-land! A full scale world war? Whorehouses! WTF do these have to do with each other? Well... (BTw all nations are my OCs and NOT hetalia nor SATW or afganisu-tan or polandball.)

Pre-world war.

Once upon a time, there was a country called Austria. She was very upset because another nation called Prussia stole her vital region, Selesia, from her. What was more embarrassing was that Prussia was a backward nation with almost no resources.

One day, Prussia and Austria got into an argument over land. Then, Austria's boss, Maria Theresa came over and said," Return Selesia or else." " Or else what?" " Or else this is war!" Prussia didn't back down, so then it was war.

This war was pre-world war. However, it was different from other world wars because it was mainly made up of bitchy cat fights, and there were not as much civilian casualties ( but still a lot).

Prussia first grabbed Saxony and used him as a shield. Not that it helped. The Austrian, French, and Hungarian armies marched through Saxony like he was tofu. Then, they went to attack Prussia. However, Prussia's boss, due to the fact that he was probably smarter than all of their generals combined, managed to help her tear apart their armies. Literally.

Prussia was winning the war...or so we thought！

Then, a real badass motherf%#*er named Russia came and knocked her out at Kunersorf."1...2...3...andRussia wins this round!"Are you kidding me? This is war, not an MMA fight! Go away Mr. Referee!

Anyway, Prussia's boss tried to suicide because he didn't want to see her die and he thought he was the reason why she was then, cheesy romance music played in the background.

Prussia was exhausted... But not for long! Russia's boss suddenly died and she was replaced by his new boss, who had the same name as his old boss(I know. Weird right?) Anyway, his new boss made a truce with Prussia's boss and the war in Europe ended.

However, meanwhile Britain and France were fighting for colonies/children because the most impressive thing for a female country to have are child bearing hips. France lost her colonies probably because she isn't as tough as Britain. Canada became Britain's charge. In fact, after Canada, Britain broke the world record for having the most colonies/children, which especially irked Austria and Prussia because they were born sterile. The war made Britain the strongest nation on earth. However, France would have her revenge soon ... Dun dun dun!

The end