You're so angry you could scream. You could grab everything on your desk and swipe your claws across the surface smashing everything in their path. But you won't, mainly because your laptop is sitting there, monitor red, containing your life in a nutshell. You walk away, still trying to breathe from the sudden adrenaline rush that grabbed your. The window stood just a couple feet away, showing the dusty fall scene outside, the way the sky looked made you uncontrollably shiver from some unknown breeze that must have gotten into your small apartment on the 5th floor.
Your apartment is shabby; you have to try to be honest with yourself. You said that last night whilst in a ball of emotions on the floor caused by- no, you're not thinking about that, you also said that last night. Your kitchen and joint living room was basically equipped when you brought the thing, you moved with only your clothes, toiletries (a toothbrush) and your console and video games, of course your parents wouldn't allow that so you let them do as they please whilst they brought you a fairly comfortable bed to sleep and a medium size 20 inch TV to 'entertain' yourself whilst you're in and away from society, because you know, you're so sociable.
For an earthly second you thought that you were blind, maybe being blind could help you understand more about this godforsaken situation you're stuck in somehow , the darkness could en-wrap you in a friendly warm way and welcome you into its quiet wisdom, but that is not the case this Monday morning. Sunday night stung in the back of your mind as you looked around your cluttered room full of films long forgotten and dirty clothes littering the floor. You woke at 6:55 am, just your luck. Your alarm doesn't go off until 7:00 am and normally this wouldn't affect anyone but it affects you, your kind of a perfectionist.
Groggily managing to sit up, hunched back, you started staring off into the pasty wall waiting for your alarm to buzz you more alert for the day, this reminded you that this was unlikely because you have math today. This wasn't good of you to decide to think about this since you loathed math and everything about it, even the professor teaching or rather telling you about it and how you 'need to know and revise this for your inevitable future!' put you off the subject and even properly looking at the old man in corduroy, seems like over thinking has now become a hobby- or rather a flaw of yours as you take a swift glance at your phone and realize it's getting to 7:15 am.
'Orderly morning routines are vital into an early and bright start to the day!' your mother used to scream in your ear as she ripped open the blinds and continued to do so for at least 3 years until her death back in 2010, you never really got along with your mother, if you wasn't sat in silence you were arguing about simple things, your voices going more in depth and carried away leading to shouting that neither of you realized what you were saying and at what volume 'stay out of it!' shed scream even though it had all the more to do with you than it did with her, it would decide the fate of your so called 'destiny' in whether you would stay in university and pay rent on a student flat or quit and live near the local church, knowing you and your tendency to switch from a believer to an atheist within a day wasn't a very good idea so you went with the better option even though it meant more work, she had good intentions your mother, but you never realized that of course 'only know what you've got till it's gone' that sentence rang in your ears as you only saw her mornings as her way of saying 'get out of bed you pathetic little sh-' your alarm buzzed managing to snap you out of you train of thought and back to reality.
You quickly proceeded to stand in your black and grey boxers that you wore yesterday, and the day before, scurry around the room hunting for clean shirts and pants but the only thing you could find was a grey pair of worn out skinny's and a t-shirt with a tattoo design on the front, it didn't really match your appearance in size and shape but you enjoyed the style of art and even though you were too afraid to ever have one actually done you always felt at ease seeing someone with one, knowing that they went through pain to show the world who they really are.
You ran into the small corridor that branched off toward the bathroom on your right and closet and spare bedroom on your left, you're faced with the arched opening of your living room and at the angle that you're standing in allows you to see the left-hand corner of the TV and some filled CD racks full of rock music and couple piles of books, you've forgotten about most of these, probably old revision books but with the way the chip packets formed around, you had no time to discover. You headed right into the bathroom and stared at yourself looking lost into the reflection in the mirror soon realizing that your first intention was to scrape some kind of brush through your nest of honey brown hair so it at least looked like you tried, you put your color contacts in, you have heterochromia, you have one brown eye and one blue, you don't see it as much of a big deal personally but people tend to point it out and your kind of sick of it. And with one last glance you shoved yourself into the 'kitchen' and grabbed whatever source of food you could find, money wasn't exactly coming in so you had to scrounge off microwave meals; even ordering take-outs was too much. You had one carton of apple juice, so you just left without breakfast like you do every morning.
Backpack slung onto weak shoulders, black slip-on vans barley protecting your feet from the cold, you don't have time to find the other shoe and so you just slip on anything, this happens to be just a different pair of slip-on vans but white, oh well. a heavy feeling is lingering down on you causing your head to droop down to stare at the floor whilst you turned for the elevator in the middle of the long hall, being here for about a year you have managed to successfully memorize the route of the long halls, busy roads and what to carefully avoid on the way, this was a seemingly normal morning for you. Surprisingly, no one was around because all the students who lived in the same block as you had class on a different day, this was because of you, it was totally and completely your fault for not thinking carefully about what block you should choose, you just went for the cheapest one and it turned out to be completely in the wrong place and all the other students in your class lived in the block opposite, it was a bit inconvenient but nevertheless you still turned up to classes remotely on time.
"Haven't seen you in a while"