Author's Note: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters featured in this one shot. We can all thank Stephenie Meyer for this wonderful universe called The Twilight Saga. Thanks
Stephenie! Also, this is my first fanfiction, so please be nice. I just had the inspiration to write it.
(Jacob's POV)
I have known Renesmee Carlie Cullen from the moment she was born. I have loved her from the second I looked into her large, beautiful, milk chocolate brown eyes. She has had me wrapped around her little finger ever since. She was the most beautiful baby. She drew me in like a moth to a flame.
Her growth was so rapid that I feared her life would end within a few short years. I wanted to spend every second with her, to be with her. She started out as my little sister and then she grew into my best friend. It took seven years, but now she is coming to a point where she will stop aging; where she will be fully grown. She looks about eighteen years old. She is so beautiful and sweet. My feelings for her have begun to change, grow into something more. I am seeing her as a woman. She is tall, like her father Edward. She has long, curly, cooper colored hair. She looks so much like Edward, but has a lot of Bella as well. She has Bella's brown eyes, long and curly hair, she blushes, and she is clumsy.
Nessie is radiant, the most beautiful girl…um woman I have ever laid eyes on. As I said, my feelings for Nessie have changed. I see her as the love of my life. I fear she may not feel the same though. She still treats me like her best friend; she talks to me about everything and anything. She still looks at me like I am Jacob, her best friend; not Jacob, her soul mate. It is driving me crazy, I am constantly questioning whether or not I show tell her how I am feeling.
So here I am sitting on my bed, trying to build the courage to tell her how I really feel about her. To tell her I am in love with her and that I want more from our relationship. Nessie has known for many years that she is my imprint, but hasn't fully grasped what that means. She sees Sam and Emily, Jared and Kim, and Paul and Rachel. She knows that they are each other's imprint, but relates our relationship more to that of Quil and Claire. She doesn't know that since Sam, Jared, and Paul imprinted on women their relationships went directly to being a couple. She doesn't know that my feelings for her would evolve, have evolved. She thinks that our feelings freeze based on when we first imprint.
Nessie will be here soon and I am nervous about how she will react to me asking for more. I don't want to pressure her, but I need her to know how I am feeling. I am the alpha of my pack. A strong leader capable of taking down vampires, but her I am afraid of a small girl…woman. That is because she owns my heart and my soul. If she rejects me, I don't know what I will do or how that will affect me. Will it break me? Will I be able to survive without her? Will we still be able to be friends? Will that be enough for me? These are all questions I have and no way to know what the answers will be. I hope I will never have to find out.
Sitting is not working, I need to move around and get my head on straight. I begin to pace back and forth in my closet size bedroom. I am pacing so fast and so much I think I am wearing holes in the wood floor. I need to get this over with…where is she? Just as I think this, there is a knock at the front door. Butterflies immediately take flight in my stomach. Ah, this is embarrassing! I am an alpha, why do I have butterflies? Oh, because this could be the beginning of a beautiful life or the start of a lonely existence.
You see Nessie will live forever. She gets this from the vampire side of her family. She will stop aging at the age of seven and will live forever as an immortal. I have the option of living forever, if I continue to phase, and will do so to live for and protect Nessie. Even if she rejects the imprint and does not love me the same way I love her, I will continue to live forever and protect her with my life. The imprint is unbreakable, but that doesn't mean she has to choose me; she can choose another. I will kill him; it makes me shake with rage even thinking such things. No, no, no! If he would make her happy, if she wanted him then I would leave him be. I feel sick just thinking about it.
As I walk to the front door, I take deep calming breaths. I am nervous, what if she doesn't want me? I think I might die. I pull open the door and see a vision of beauty looking back at me. She has the most beautiful alabaster skin, long, curly copper hair, and brown eyes that are so deep I feel like I can get lost in them forever. She smiles at me and I feel like I am melting into a puddle before her. My heart rate accelerates and my breath becomes labored. I try to calm myself, Nessie is half-vampire and she can hear my body's reaction to her. I smile back and mumble for her to come in.
As she enters the house, I close the front door. I pull her to me embracing her. I take a deep breath and breathe in her intoxicating scent. She pulls back and looks deeply into my eyes; I smile shyly at her and walk her over to the couch. It is now or never. She is so gorgeous; I need her more than I need air to breathe.
As we sit on the couch, I look at her out of the corner of my eye and notice that she is staring at me.
"What are you looking at?" I ask with a chuckle. I cringe, why am I am so stupid? Why would I ask her that?
"You." she replies in a duh tone.
I grin so largely that I think my cheeks may cramp. "Oh yeah, you want to watch a movie?"
"Sure." she states with a shrug of her delicate, perfect shoulders.
She picks out a movie to watch and places it in the DVD player. She comes back snuggling up to me on the couch and my breath hitches with the excitement I feel to hold her close to me. She looks at me with a confused look and I give her a slight smile and hold my arms open, inviting her to cuddle into my side. She does so without hesitation.
Nessie chose to watch a romantic comedy. Now normally, this would elicit some kind of protest out of me, but I can't find it in myself to object today. She snuggles in closer to me and watches the movie. I am barely aware of anything else but Nessie. She smells so amazing; like vanilla ice cream mixed with fresh strawberries. She feels so good pressed up against me. I can feel her every breath and hear her heart beating. Her heart's thrumming sounds like the flutter of a humming bird. I can't help myself, somewhere during the middle of the movie; I turn my head and place a gentle kiss on her forehead. She turns to look at me with the most breath taking smile I have ever seen.
"Jake, are you okay?"
"Yeah Ness I'm fine. Let's watch the movie." I state turning back to look at the television.
As with all romantic comedies, this one has a happy ending. Boy gets girl and they live happily ever after. This however is not what has my attention. Just like every time we watch one of these stupid movies, Nessie begins to cry; I cradle her closer to me and hold her tightly. She is laughing through her tears at the "wonderful" ending. I hate it because it made Nessie cry. I don't care if they are tears of joy or not, she is not supposed to cry ever.
She looks at me and rolls her eyes, "Jake, I'm fine. Really, I am not sad. That was a great ending to the movie, don't you think."
"Sure, sure Ness. "
"Jake, why do you always get so upset when we watch these types of movies? Do they make you think of my mom? Do you wish that she would have chosen you instead of my dad?"
"What? Ness! How could you think that? I only get upset because they make you cry, you should never cry."
"Oh…"
"Ness, I do not want to be with your mom. Sure, she was best friend and at one time I was in love with her….I mean a part of me still loves her, but it is only as a friend. I am no longer in love with your mom."
How could she think such a thing? How can she not see that I am in love with her? I know I need to tell her, she looks so upset by the idea of me still loving Bella. I know that the part of Bella I fell in love with was and is Nessie. If I had known that Nessie would be in my life from the coupling of Edward and Bella, I would have gladly gotten them a hotel room and begged them to make her.
"Ness, I…I…I love you."
"Jake, I know you love me. I am your best friend and you are mine, of course we love each other."
Errr that is not what I mean. How do I make her understand? Okay, here goes nothing. Now is the time, I need to tell her what I am really feeling.
"No Ness. I don't just love you; I am in love with you."
There, I said it. There is a long moment of silence where I am not sure if Nessie really understands what I am trying to say to her. I watch as shock and then confusion crosses her beautiful face.
"I don't understand Jake." she states as she begins standing up.
I panic, she can't leave. I have to make her understand, I need her to understand.
I reach out and gently grab her hand, silently asking her to sit back down. "I know, please let me explain."
"Ok." she says as she sits down next to me.
"Ness I know that you know I imprinted on you as a baby, but do you understand what that means?"
"Yes, it means that we are best friends and that we will be forever."
Ouch. Is that the only thing she sees me as, her best friend? Does she feel nothing more for me? I want to stop, but I have to make sure she knows what I mean, how I feel about her. If I don't I will second guess myself for all eternity. That is too long to live with doubt and regret.
"Nessie, you know that Sam and Emily, Jared and Kim, and Paul and Rachel are imprints right?"
"Yes, Jacob. I know."
"Ok, so what do you think they are to each other?"
"Jake, they are all soul mates. But that is not what we are to each other, right? I mean Quil imprinted on Claire when she was two and they are just friends."
"Yes Nessie, but Claire is still a child. She is only 9 years old. Quil doesn't see her as anything more than a friend…"
"I know Jake that is what I…"
"Wait Ness, please let me finish."
I take a deep breath and begin, "Yet Renesmee, Quil doesn't see Claire as more than a friend yet. You see, when Claire gets older, Quil's feelings will change and he will see her as much more than a friend."
She ponders this statement for awhile. As much as it kills me, I sit quiet and let her work the details out for herself. I watch as emotions pass her face too quickly for me to name. Finally, Nessie has a look of understanding. I want to ask her to tell me what she is thinking, but I continue to sit quiet and let her reveal her thoughts in her own time.
"He will be in love with her?" she asks, though I know she knows the answer.
"Yes Nessie he will be in love with her and if she will have him, Quil will be more than just her friend. He will be her boyfriend and then maybe, one day her husband."
"Oh…" she pauses. "So is that what you want then Jacob? Do you want us to be more than friends?" she asks looking as though this was too much information for her to take in.
"Yes Nessie, I am in love with you and I want to be more than just friends with you. However, I will always be what you want me to be. If you want to remain friends and nothing more than I am happy to do that and to be your best friend forever, if that is really what you want me to be."
Lie, lie, lie! I think I might be dying inside. I feel so sick to stomach. How could this happen? Nessie is looking at me and I want nothing more than to lean forward and place a kiss on her soft lips. It is so quiet, she is barely breathing and I wish more now than ever that I had Edward's ability to read minds. I need to know what she is thinking, what she is feeling.
"Ness, it's ok really. I know you only want to be friends."
"No Jacob, I don't want to be your friend!" she states as she stands up from the couch and begins to pace.
I am beginning to panic. What does she mean she doesn't want to be friends? I knew I shouldn't have told her how I felt about her. This was such a mistake, she hates me now. I have ruined everything!
I quickly standup and approach Nessie, placing my hands on her shoulders. She stops pacing and looks up at me through her long eyelashes.
"Ness please don't let this ruin what we have. I need you Nessie, it's okay that you don't feel the same. I know you are not in love with me and…" Nessie stops my plea and rambling by placing her index finger over my lips.
"No Jacob, I mean, I don't want to be just your friend. I never thought you would feel that way about me. I have been in love with you for so long, but I didn't know how to tell you."
We stare deeply into each other's eyes for what seems like hours. We slowly lean into each other. My arms gently wrap themselves around Nessie's waist and begin to pull her flush against my body. Nessie slowly runs her hand up my arms to my shoulders and begins to wrap them around my neck. She begins to rise on her tip toes bringing our mouths closer to one another.
I can feel her breath on my face and her body close to me. She gently begins to pull me down until our lips are within a couple inches of each other. I can taste her breath in my mouth and my heart begins to hammer. It feels as though it is going to burst out of my chest. I lean in further, closing my eyes and gently press my lips to Nessie's.
Fireworks are shooting across my eyelids. It feels amazing to have her this way. Her lips are so soft and silky against my own. I place a few chaste pecks on her lips. When I pause, Nessie kisses me harder and slightly parts her lips. I deepen the kiss as my tongue enters her mouth and I caress her tongue with my own. She tastes better than I ever thought she would, much better actually. Nessie's tongue enters and exits my mouth timidly a few times. At the end of the kiss I pull her bottom lip into my mouth and gently suck on it, eliciting a soft moan from Nessie.
I slowly pull back and place a few softer, chaste kisses against her supple, full lips. I slowly open my eyes with a grin on my face and look into the eyes that would be the death of me. I lose myself in her eyes and she in mine. We stand there embracing each other, enjoying the glow of being in love.
"I love you Nessie. I love you and need you more than I need air to breath."
"I love you too Jake. I will love you forever."
Today is the day everything changes. Nessie went from being my best friend to being my girlfriend. Nessie now knows she is everything to me, my soul mate and I no longer had to be nervous or afraid of my feelings for her. She feels the same way and I thank the spirits for bring her to me.