Disclaimer: I don't own LoZ
Ice-bitch mode.
Define for me a satire.
Goes down in 48-72 hours.
When I first met Midna, I could only think that she was the most annoying thing in the world. She was rude, made fun of me every chance I got, and seemed to think that my existence was something to laugh at. Not to mention she wasn't very helpful.
Then we finally got to the top of the tower, no thanks to her, and when we got there, I saw perhaps the most beautiful girl ever. Not even Ilia could compare. Her eyes fascinated me. Her hair shone even in Midna's horrible twilight, and I knew, from barely one look at her face, that I was in love.
Unfortunately, she couldn't leave her tower. But I'd go through anything to see that face again.
The next three trials of mine were filled to the brim with monsters, danger, and Midna's sarcasm and lack of civility. She dragged me around like her slave. Can't say I much appreciated that. But I guess I got a tolerance or something, because she started acting less harsh and I started taking less offense to what she said. That's why I felt it necessary to carry her back to Hyrule Castle as she lay dying on my back. I couldn't just let a friend, no matter how much she ticked me off, die.
Also, the Light Spirit said Zelda'd be there.
Too bad for me she didn't take off her hood this time and show me her pretty face.
But then on top of it all, she gave her life to save Midna. And Midna because a lot less of a bitch afterward. We became what you might call friends. How could we not, after going through hell and back with just each other for company? I might have even started to think about her as more than a friend.
I was touched how adamant she was about defying Ganondorf. To hear her yelling at him, and then throw her tiny body in front of Zelda's lifeless one, meant a lot to me. After all, she was protecting my pretty princess. Shame that it didn't work.
Still, we managed to save Zelda, and she looked even better than the first time I saw her. And then Midna warped us away from Ganondorf.
Being my destiny to defeat him, I can't say I really appreciated the gesture, even though I knew how much it meant. Although that one moment of alone time with Zelda sure was worth it. She looked like she was going to say something, but then the castle exploded, and Ganondorf showed up with Midna's helmet.
Friend, or more, or not, but he wasn't getting away with that. Whatever Midna meant to me, I was going to avenge her. Zelda even helped. She transported me to a cool light world where we were alone again, but she only asked for me help. But I could barely steer, my hand was shaking from her touch.
Ganondorf finally decided to die, and I realized that Midna was still alive. Now, you can imagine I was really happy. Embarrassingly, I jogged up the hill in front of Zelda, but I forgot the moment I got to the top. Because Midna was just as beautiful as Zelda.
She was beautiful and just as friendly as ever. And even though Zelda was pretty and Zelda was friendly, she and I hadn't been through nearly half the stuff Midna and I had been through. Heck, we even embraced in the rain over Hyrule Castle!
I guess that's when I knew I really was in love. But Midna began to cry, and went home, breaking the precious Mirror behind her.
Well, I still have Zelda. Better than no one, right?
Flames are welcomed.
So, what do you think? Piece of crap, utterly incomprehensible, or some form of modern art that everybody hails as genius because they don't know what it's supposed to be?