The Curse of the Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream flavoured Lip Balm with an extra added 20 percent
by the mighty Lilyfish
"My Lord…"
"My Lord…"
"My Lord…"
"MY LORD!!"
"Yes Bellatrix…next…"
"My Lord…"
"My Lord…"
"My Lord…"
One by one, Lord Voldemort's Death Eaters shuffled forth on their knees to greet their master, as was customary at the beginning of all meetings.
"Excellent…is everyone here?" murmured Lord Voldemort, his ghostly white fingers steepled as he observed those around him. A brief hum of "Yes My Lord" wafted up from the huddled black mass.
"And the doors are bolted? Lucius?"
"Certainly, My Lord" came the arrogant voice, a sleek blonde head inclined.
"Very well….so we begin…" murmured Lord Voldemort. The Death Eaters watched in silent reverence as their master withdrew a small object from the depths of his robes. He held it aloft, the tension palpable.
"What is it, My Lord?" came Bellatrix's hesitant voice after a few moments.
"Such curiosity, so soon" said Voldemort softly. "Nonetheless, we have all waited for so long…"
"Dear god" choked Lucius's voice. "Is that…?"
"Yes Lucius. It is"
An excited murmuring struck up among the other Death Eaters. Several were reduced to tears at this wondrous, long awaited news.
"Can I touch it?"
"Can I see it?"
"Look at it, so beautif-"
"ENOUGH!" hissed Voldemort loudly. "I can understand that this is an extraordinary day for us all. But we must treat it with respect, lest we harm it!
The Death Eaters lapsed immediately back into silence, terrified of damaging the object their master cradled in his hands.
"Now. For obvious reasons, we must dispatch a killing squad" continued Voldemort, after taking a breath. "Weasley Wizard Wheezes did not deliver on time, after all"
"B-but master, they still sent it! And t-they had to make it at such short notice too!" explained Wormtail in his frightened, squeaky voice.
"Do you dare to question me?" whispered Voldemort. Wormtail recoiled, clutching his shaking silver hand.
"So now…" whispered Voldemort "IT BEGINS!"
He let out a high pitched, unearthly scream of a laugh, holding the object even higher.
"CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE DOUGH ICE CREAM FLAVOURED LIP BALM WITH AN EXTRA ADDED 20 PERCENT!" he cackled manically. "Nothing can stop us now!"
Bellatrix sighed up at her master, admiring his magnificence and majesty. He was right. Nothing could stop them now, not ever.
"Here…" whispered Voldemort, swooping down with the pot of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream flavoured Lip Balm with an extra added 20 percent, and offering some to his minions. They screamed, jumping over one another to get at the delightful substance. Lucius reached it first, digging his finger in and pulling out a huge chunk. He smeared it over his lips, then passed out in ecstasy.
Soon, the entire room was filled with nothing but the sound of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream flavoured Lip Balm with an extra added 20 percent being chewed off lips. The grand Dark Lord watched his followers proudly, having to wipe a tear from his eye. They had waited so patiently, so bravely. The past three days had been hell for them all. Lord Voldemort himself had woken up in cold sweats after dreams filled with Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream flavoured Lip Balm with an extra added 20 percent, only to find there was none there. And poor, poor little Draco...Voldemort shuddered, remembering how he'd had to hold the boy back to stop him jumping off Hogwarts tower in a bid to end his life.
But they were safe now. Nevermore would the Death Eaters have to experience such trials and tribulations again…
"My Lord, look at the newspaper! Weasley Wizard Wheezes have come out with a new Cucumber Salad flavoured lip balm with free sunglasses!!"
Oh dear…
The End