She wasn't quite sure what to do with herself. Sitting still and watching him felt unnatural. Holding his hand was even stranger. Talking through a one-sided conversation as though he could hear her made her look crazy.
Rey had settled for crazy. "General Organa is sending me to find Master Skywalker," she said. The medical droids had told her multiple times – practically every time they came in to check on Finn, in fact – that he wouldn't remember anything she said, but there was no harm in letting him know just in case. And, if she was being honest with herself, it was rather nice to thin that someone would care where she'd gone. Rey stopped herself before she could get too sentimental. "Even if he refuses to come back and help us fight, he might be willing to train me." Even with nobody here to hear her, she kept her voice as flat and professional as she could. Feeling, and particularly feeling for a person who the medical droids gave only an eighty-seven percent likelihood of a full recovery, was rarely the wisest course of action.
But then again, she wouldn't have given any of their recent actions an eighty-seven percent likelihood of survival. Finn would get through this. She leaned down to rest her head on the bed beside him, arranging her neck so she could watch his face. In the three days since her arrival on D'Qar, this had become her usual position. If she thought about it, little had changed for the two of them in that time. Finn remained in his coma. Rey sat in this spot and talked about anything she could think of to fil the silence. The medical droids came in every hour or so to check his vitals, refill the IV bags, and do anything else that needed doing. No, not every hour or so. For the past twenty-four hours, since most of the pilots had been released from the medical wing, they'd shown up at five minutes past the hour precisely. Outside their little bubble, the galaxy was moving forward.
Keep talking. "Have I told you about my house on Jakku yet?" Of course she had. Probably within the first hour or two, right after she'd overcome her initial hesitations to share anything about herself. Those instincts had served her well on Jakku, but here, they weren't needed, and Finn seemed as good a place as any to start getting over them. "Okay, so, not that. Any suggestions?"
She didn't expect him to answer – Rey just looked crazy right now, she didn't think she'd actually gone mad – but she waited a moment for him all the same. "No? All right, then. I might have to start counting the floor tiles again. I don't think either of us wants that, but I suppose it doesn't matter much to you."
Another pause, another silence he couldn't break. "I suppose I can't avoid the topic any longer, then." It was stupid, but a smile tugged at her lips. "I don't actually have a cute boyfriend waiting for me at home. Or a regular-looking one. No boyfriends in general." It was far too easy to imagine him waking up at that very moment and asking questions she didn't want to answer. Still, she'd be happy enough to have him back to not care too much about his rather unusual understanding of personal privacy.
"No boyfriends whatsoever? That's a pity."
Rey jumped at the sound of the new voice behind her. And she'd thought Finn listening in would be bad. "Hey, don't worry, it's just me." Poe winked at her as he came fully into the room. "And I'm having about as much luck as you on that front."
"That doesn't change the fact that you were listening in. What are you doing here?"
"The General wants you to head out at 0900 hours, so I thought I'd give you some time to pack yourself up."
"I don't have anything to pack." She turned her attention back to Finn.
She stiffened when Poe put a hand on her shoulder. "I'll stay with Finn while you get your stuff together. Come on, even if you don't need to pack, you'll at least want to get a walk in before you get stuck on that freighter for a week. I love flying, but there's nothing better than getting back on solid ground after a few days cooped up onboard."
"Fine." Rey shook his hand away. "But I'm going to come back and see him before I leave. And you are going to spend at least an hour with him every day until I come back."
"I don't think you have any bargaining power here, sweetheart." The glare he earned with that could have melted durasteel. Poe held up his hands in surrender. "Hey, don't worry. Finn's my friend too, you know. I'll stay with him. Don't worry about him. He's in good hands."
"He had better be." From someone who had gone head to head with one of the most accomplished swordsmen in the galaxy not four days prior, the words were even more threatening.
"You just focus on your mission. Finn'll be fine with me, I promise."
Rey studied him for a moment, and when he managed to hold eye contact with her, she nodded. "I'd like to say goodbye first."
"I'd be worried if you didn't."
She waited a moment for him to catch on and leave, but that was apparently too much to hope for. Instead, she did her best to pretend that Poe wasn't there. Rey stroked the back of Finn's hand. The warmth of his skin was reassuring. He would be fine, she knew it. "Goodbye. We'll see each other again. I believe that." Forgetting that Poe was there for a moment, she paused, thinking, before pressing a kiss to Finn's forehead. With a nod to Poe, she left for the Falcon. She should value Poe's advice – he had certainly gone on more long missions than she had – but all she'd do during her walk was think. Rey knew herself well enough to know that wouldn't end well.
Had she been there to hear it, Rey might have snapped at Poe's next words. For that reason alone, he stayed quiet until she was well out of earshot. You never knew with those Force users. "Hey, buddy, you sure now how to find them."
In almost forty years of service, Leia had learned a few things about handling the aftermath of a battle. First and most important among them was to immediately make sure that the wounded were taken care of. That one had been easy enough to follow. Second was to not allow one's personal feelings to take away from the group's efforts to regroup. This time, that had been harder.
Under any other circumstances, she would have visited the medical ward two days after the end of the battle. From a pragmatic perspective, it was good for morale for the soldiers to see that their leader cared about their wellbeing. But equally important was her personal need to thank the soldiers for their service. She knew far too well the loneliness of watching others be released from the ward, a paranoid part of you growing more and more certain with every minute that you're never going to leave, that the medics are keeping something terrible from you. That and thinking about how close you've come to hurting everyone who cares about you were always the worst for her. And so she has made a point after every battle of visiting each of the hospitalized wounded. It's usually quick, just a few words if they're awake, a nod and a salute if they're not.
She had a feeling this one would be longer. Leia knocked on the doorframe before entering, just as she always did. Even though the base's medical ward lacked privacy doors, and many came and went without warning, she'd long believed it was humanizing in times like this to have some idea of when a guest was coming.
"Come in."
She hadn't expected an answer, but after she recognized the voice, Leia supposed it wasn't too surprising. He immediately rose when she entered the room. "Sit back down, Poe. There's no need for that here."
"Yes, ma'am." Poe shifted in his seat for a moment. "I'm sorry for your loss."
That's what Han was now. A loss. And she'd spent the last five days wallowing around in that instead of achieving anything. Not what he would have wanted at all. "Thank you, but that's not why I'm here."
"I can go, if you'd like to talk to him alone."
"Thank you, Poe. I'd appreciate that." She waited for him to leave before she smiled down at Finn. Leia had seen many, many injuries over the years, and she'd long ago developed a sense of what was likely to heal. Though the poor boy had managed to do some pretty good damage, she suspected he'd be just fine. She patted his hand as she sat down next to him. There's a speech, short but comforting, that she usually gave when she visited patients, but in this case, silence felt more appropriate. Yes, she could still hear the bustle of medical droids outside, and she could feel Poe's presence waiting at the end of the hall, but in this small area, it was calm. There was far too little of that these days.
She stayed with him for nearly an hour, allowing herself to calmly contemplate the events of the last battle for the first time. Leia had certainly thought about Han in the last few days, but she hadn't pushed past the hurt and shock to truly mourn him. Here, with another person in the room, no matter how unresponsive that individual was, she couldn't fall apart.
But her duties never ended, and a general's life was never one without responsibility. When it was time for her to leave, Leia again covered Finn's hand with her own. "Thank you for bringing them back to me," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
A/N: Thanks for reading! I'd love to know what you think of this!