Who wants to be a Gillionaire?
Hello fanfict lovers. This is my first fanfict so don't laugh at it too much
And now on fanfiction T.V, here's who wants to be a Gillionaire, Ma Ha Ha Ha Ha.
Who wants to be a Gillionaire is sponsored by is sponsored by Cid's slob shop, were all of Cid's favourite things are sold, like fags and booze.
(Intro words while music plays. Der der der der der dum die dummmmm, der der der (fading out) music stops)
Chris: Hello and welcome to who wants to be a Gillionaire hosted by me Chris Tarrant because people think that Zidane is a better host than me at 'Who wants to be a Millionaire'
Just you wait Zidane, just you wait
Chris: Now, lets meet the 8 competitors.
Cloud Strife from Nieblem.
Septhroith from somewhere in Final Fantasy 7.
Barret from North Coral.
Vegeta from Dragonball Z.
Goku also from Dragonball Z.
Kuja from somewhere in Final Fantasy 9.
Quenia from the marshland.
And finally, Zidane from...WHAT THE HELL. IF THIS B******* IS IN THIS I'M LEAVING.
(People with white suits come in and give about 20 injections to Chris)
Chris: (sounding as if drunk) Ok ThEn, AnD tHe LaSt CoMpEtItOr Is ZiDaNe FrOm LiBlUm.
(Chris shakes and the injections wear off)
Chris: That was strange, anyway for the first competitor lets have the write order thingy, that we do, that is cool and so lets start.
(Everyone looks at each other and shrugs)
Chris: Ready?
Goku: Well, what happens if...
Chris: good, then lets start. What is tastier? Is it A.) Chocobo, B.) Ogulop, C.) Moggle or D.) Cats. Put them in order of, which tastes the nicest, to which tastes the worst starting NOW.
(There is a strange sound while the 8 competitors work out the answers)
Chris: And stop. So, lets see who got it right. The answer was of course starting with C.) Moggle, followed by A.) Chocobo, then we have D.) Cats and lastly, but most disgusting, B.) Ogulop. So then who got it right?
(There is a brief silence as everyone looks at each other wondering who got the answer correct)
Chris: Come on, at least one person must of got it right.
Vegeta: I got it right (looking smug).
Chris: yes you did but it you listen to Bulma while she tells you the answers into that little radio in your ear, it isn't really fair now is it.
Vegeta: How did you know.
Chris: I don't know, I just did (saying it sarcastically)
Vegeta: Well then I will just have to show you that cheating can count, FINAL TOUCH.
(A big ball of something fly's towards Chris)
Chris: You think that is good.
(Chris makes a Ki Barrier, which stops the blow. Then men in white put a straight jacket over Vegeta and take him away)
Chris: (shouting) YOU CAN COME BACK WHEN YOU LEARN TO BEHAVE. Now, this should be easy because if we do this again then you all know the answer so at least one of you will be first. Ok then. Again, What is tastier? Is it A.) Chocobo, B.) Ogulop, C.) Moggle or D.) Cats. Put them in order of, which tastes the nicest, to which tastes the worst starting NOW.
(Again the sound goes on while the 7 competitors left, try to work out what buttons to press)
Chris: Ok then. Who got it right this time.
(Again like last time everyone looks at each other)
Chris: Not again. It was so easy, I've already told you the answers, and you just have to press the right buttons.
Cloud: I knew that!
Septhroith: So did I!
Barret: Me too!
Zidane: and me!
Kuja: I knew!
Quenia + Goku: So that's what we had to do!
(Everyone looks at Quenia and Goku)
Chris: Right..., so you all know now so lets do it again. What is tastier? Is it A.) Chocobo, B.) Ogulop, C.) Moggle or D.) Cats. Put them in order of, which tastes the nicest, to which tastes the worst starting NOW.
(More pressing of buttons)
Chris: STOP. So who got it right this time?
(More looking around and now Chris is really pissed)
Chris: This is going to be along night, so someone get me drink.
Quenia: I'm Hungary.
Goku: Me too, I could eat over 50 bowls of rice.
Zidane: While you're at it, I could do with some porno mags
Chris: NO ONE IS GETTING ANYTHING. Now, lets do this again.
(22.583 attempts later)
Chris: (fag in one hand and booze in the other) so then. Who got it right this time.
(After more looking round the room Chris starts to cry from all the torment)
Septhroith: I could get it right if I wanted too, but I don't.
Chris: What's that (stops crying). You can get it right, please welcome our first competitor, Septhroith!
(Lights go on Septhroith and the crowd clap. Septhroith walks from his seat to the seat next to Chris)
Chris: ok Sep, you don't mind if I call you that do you?
Septhroith: Well...
Chris: Good, then lets start. Sep, for 100 Gil. What runs faster? A.) A Green Chocobo, B.) A Blue Chocobo, C.) A Black Chocobo or D.) A Gold Chocobo?
Septhroith: That's easy, it's D.) A Gold Chocobo.
Chris: Is the right answer. You have 100 Gil. Now, for 200 Gil. In Final fantasy 9, what does the prices of Schnitzel's sales go up in? Is it A.) 10's, B.) 50's, C.) 100's or is it D.) 200's?
Zidane: (shaking his hand in the air) I know the answer.
Chris: Your not PLAYING though, are you.
Septhroith: Go on then, let's hear it.
Zidane: Well the answer is...
Chris: SHUT UP. Now Sep, you have to work out the answers your self or you use one of your 3 lifelines.
Septhroith: Chris, you never said anything about lifelines!
Chris: Well I'm saying it now. They are 'split in half' when we take away 2 wrong answers leaving you with the correct answer and the 1 remaining wrong answer.
Septhroith: K.
Chris: There's the 'Phone a loved one', when you can phone up someone who loves, or who you love to help you answer the question, But you only have 7.53837 seconds to talk to them.
Septhroith: What!
Chris: Glad you understand and the last one is 'ask the Moggles', when you can ask all the Moggles you know what the answer is and we will take a percentage.
Septhroith: K.
Zidane: I'm confused!
Chris: Good. Now Sep, what will you do?
Septhroith: I think I will 'phone a loved one'.
Chris: And whom will you be phoning?
Septhroith: My Mother, Jenova.
Chris: K
Cloud: But she's not your real mother!
Chris: Can we please get on with it.
Septhroith: she isn't?
Chris: Please!
Cloud: No it's...
(End of Part one comes up on the screen and there is lots of clapping)
Who wants to be a Gillionaire is sponsored by Cid's slob shop, the shop were anything is possible!
Who is Septhroith's real mother?
Find out in the next chapter of 'who wants to be a Gillionaire'.
By Michael Datchens
Mad Nutter
23 insane road
Terra
GU54 111