Pema 16, Tenzin:31

She flattened herself against the beam and tried to slow her breathing.

Pema, snap out of it!

She heard Memoo's voice in her head.

Pema, snap out of it! It's untoward. When you're older and he's an old man, you'll see what I mean, and you'll marvel at just how many boys your age you ignored goggling him.

Pema straightened, helped by the wooden pillar…the one she was hiding behind…yeah.

"Pem," she said aloud. "Snap out of it."

She released the beam, ignoring the fear that welled up at giving up her hiding place. She stepped to the side of it, careful to stay in the shadows. There he was. Sitting, meditating, his mouth set in a firm line. How could somebody manage to look so stuffy and so relaxed at the same time? She sighed.

"Just the magic of Tenzin, huh? Control-freak Victorian. Airbending free-spirit. Physical embodiment of all that the Acolytes hold dear. Shit…" She huffed the last part louder than she meant to and gasped, slapping her hand to her mouth.

What if Memoo had heard? What if another Acolyte were near? She imagined her aunt's horrified expression…and snorted back a giggle. Knowing herself and how easily she could slide from a little chuckle into an outright belly laugh, she sucked in her bottom lip and, closing her eyes against the image of her aunt's cross face, chewed softly until she felt her cheeks relax and her composure return. Grateful for the second of levity, she opened her eyes and stared straight into the gray of Tenzin's.

Oh. Spirits. No.

Her feet were already carrying her backwards to the door when she remembered why she had come here in the first place. She had to tell him. Tenzin's voice, smooth from meditation, rose above her own thoughts.

"Pema. What are you doing back there?"

Now or never, Pema.

She stepped from the shadows into the dappled light of the room. Outright or bury the lead?

Well, Tenzin, I followed you here to the med room of the family quarters where I have absolutely no business being to tell you that I'm in love with you, BUT I got distracted watching you meditate.

Unacceptable.

"I came to see you, I mean, IF you…needed anything." She was a miserable coward. What was more, she knew he wasn't buying it.

"Well, you're here anyway, aren't you," he said, chuckling a little. She relaxed a bit. His smile was so disarming, and she thought, Why don't you do that more?

"Do what?" Tenzin asked, startling her. She panicked. Too much time alone in the library talking to the books, Pem. You don't even know when you're thinking aloud anymore.

Remembering her bungled excuse for being there, she decided to just go with it.

Now or never.

"Smile," she said, trying for a casual shrug as she walked over to a bench just off the wide mat.

Tenzin bristled. "I smile," he said flatly.

"Oh, yeah, you're a real Jolly Jeong," Pema replied with a soft smirk. He smiled at the sarcasm, to her relief.

"I'm…sorry about that. Guess that meditation didn't smooth as many edges as I thought."

"It's okay. I know how it must have sounded. It's just that, well, you should. Smile more, I mean. It's good for you. I read it in one of Avatar Aang's essays from…" She looked up from her lap and trailed off. Tenzin's eyes were on the mat, his brow slightly furrowed. She bit her lip and said, "You know, I'm available for practice if you'd like."

His brow quirked quizzically, but when he raised his eyes they weren't steely, so she continued.

"For example, now is an okay time to try it. See, what happens is when you catch a girl's eye and she smiles, you smile back…?"

She smiled softly at him and watched him watch her for a few humming seconds. Just as she started wishing for the refuge of the beam, he cast his eyes away from hers and grinned. Relieved, she laughed.

"See? That wasn't so hard. Geez," she added with mock exasperation, and reached out to finger-thump his shoulder.

He leaned away, still smiling.

"Hey, now, no hitting. I'm a monk, remember? Physical embodiment of all that the Acolytes hold dear… and shit…"

Pema's mouth hung open and her eyes widened comically. Tenzin heard her whisper "Oh, spirits…" as he closed his eyes and laughed aloud for the first time all day.

"Tenzin, stop it! Oh, no. Oh, I'm so embarrassed. Please don't tell Memoo!" She got up to run away and he caught her hand, still laughing.

"Wait, wait," he said, sucking in air. "Wait! I thought we were having smile practice."

Pema didn't yank away as she wanted to, knowing that manners demanded that she not leave when one of the family was addressing her. She tried to calm her features and turned to look down at him on the mat. She avoided his eyes, looking instead at his head, focusing on the blue of his tattoo and the pale green of the veins beneath his skin. He gave her hand –Spirits, he was still touching her- an easy tug, and she met his eyes. He was looking -no, smiling- up at her, his eyelashes damp from his laughter, his eyes shining with it.

"Come on, Pema…remember: what happens is when a guy is smiling at you…"

Pema laughed and smiled down at him.

"Yeah, yeah, Jolly Jeong."

He laughed again and, releasing her, stood to put on his shoes. That was twice that he'd laughed.

Maybe not now, but not never.