A/N OK in this story Derek, Lexi and Arizona all died in the plane crash. This is my first non-Twilight fanfic so please let me know what you think. Mark did not die.

Alex's POV

For three weeks she has been in this coma. For three weeks we take turns sitting by her bedside talking to her. I don't want to leave her side but nobody knows how I really feel about her. Well one person knows how I really feel about her but she lives a million miles away.

As the weeks go on the people who were pretending to care slowly stop coming and it's me and Christina and Mark.

"Christina, we may have to face the fact that's she's not going to wake up. Make more permanent arrangements for Zola…" Mark fades off looking at me.

Christina has final say in all medical, financial and custodial matters should Derek not be available.

Six of our doctors went on a flight. Meredith, Christina, Derek, Arizona, Mark and Lexi.

Lexi died soon after the plane crashed, Arizona died after two days of being stranded and Derek died in the hospital a week after transfer. Meredith has been in this coma ever since.

"Zola's arrangements are fine." Even though Mer kicked me out a while ago I've moved back in to take care of Zola. Baily helps some and Mark and Callie help some but I try to keep her whenever I can. She needs to at least be in her own home since she has no idea where her parents are.

"Um, I actually agree with Alex on this one. Zola is being taken care of. If you and Callie don't want to help out anymore then I'm sure he can handle it. I guess I could help, or Owen could help at least."

'I was thinking more like she should come live with Callie and I. We are much more equipped to handle her than Alex is."

I'm about to jump in when Christina glares in a shut up way.

"No offense Mark but I'm sure Meredith would pick almost anyone over you. And that includes Alex. She's not that close to you or Callie. And I know Derek was your best friend but I'm not sure he would pick you to raise his daughter either. Not that he would pick Alex… But I have final say and Zola stays where she is until Meredith wakes up."

Marks walks out mumbling and huffing.

"Thanks Christina," I'm honestly surprised. Christina has never really liked me.

"Mer likes you. I don't see it but she always has. She even forgave you for nearly getting her fired and losing Zola. And Zola seems happy with you. Happier than with Mark and Callie or even Baily. So I did it for Mer and Zola. Why do you even care so much about Zola? Or Mer for that matter? You're always with one of them. I know Mer has always like you, but you, you've always liked… well you."

This is what they all think. And it was true until I met Mer. She was screwed up but still so… good. She's the only one who really ever cared about me except Izzy. But I was always second to Izzy; there was George and then Denny. When I married Izzy we both knew I wished she was Meredith and she wished I was Denny. Of course things weren't going to work out like that. So once she got better she moved away and opened a bakery and fell in love with someone who made her feel like Denny did. We talk a lot. She is the only one who knows my true feelings for Mer.

"It's because he has always loved her." I hear a voice from the doorway.

"Addison? What are you doing here? And where the hell did you get an idea like that?" I'm shocked at seeing her and her little outburst.

"Nice to see you too Alex, Christina. I came here to see Callie and Mark. And I wanted to talk to Meredith. There's a chance she can hear us you know? I have something important to tell her."

Christina is just staring back and forth between me and Addison.

"Um he doesn't love her. Alex doesn't love. Maybe he loved Izzy and crazy chick but not Mer."

"Of course he loves her. Why else would he still be sitting here and taking care of her kid when she's not here. Why do you think he's still even at Seattle Grace? He wasn't going to leave her like this. Think about it Christina, only you and and him still bother to stay with her." I'm going to kill her.

They continue talking like I'm not even sitting here.

"What about the trial? Why would he do that if he loved her?" Christina asks. At least Addison won't have an answer for that. Only Izzy knows that answer. So they both look at me for an answer.

"I was drunk." I mumble. I leave out the part of how in my drunkenness I was hoping Derek would leave her when he found out. I never meant for her to almost get fired and almost lose Zola. Which is why I did everything possible to help her, them I guess, keep her.

"So you admit to this?" Christina is going nuts. "Oh my god Alex! She is not going to wake up and be with you! Is that why you are taking care of Zola! So she will owe you something? Maybe she should go stay with Mark and Callie!"

Damn Addison. I hate that woman.

"That's not it at all. I don't or won't expect anything from her. I just want to help her in any way I can. I truly care about her and want what's best for her. That's it. None of this is about me Christina. I promise you." I hate being like this in front of her.

"Hmm. For some reason I actually believe you. Stupid plane crash made me soft. But you better keep to what you say when she wakes up." The plane crash really did make her soft, from making up with Owen to this.

"What do you have to tell her Addison?" Christina asks finally off the subject of me.

"I'm here to tell her if she wakes up I can help her have Derek's baby."

Well, if anything will wake her I suppose that could do it.