Christmas: Part 1
"Yea!" cried Dewey, "It's almost Christmas!"
"Guess who's coming over for Christmas this year?" Lois asked the three boys.
"I'm afraid to ask," Malcolm replied.
Lois ignored him, "Cousin Alex and his wife Jenny!"
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Reese, Malcolm, Dewey, and Hal screamed in unison. Alex and Jenny were quite possibly the most annoying cousins in the history of the universe. They came from Lois' side of the family. Alex and Jenny were loud, rude, and crude. Needless to say, nobody actually looked forward to seeing them.
"Oh Lois," whined Hal, "We just saw them!"
"That was 10 years ago Hal!" Lois said angrily. She shot the rest of her family a withering glance, "They're coming, whether you like it or not!"
"Why isn't Francis coming home?" Reese inquired.
"Because he's in trouble again!" his mother snapped. "He really shouldn't have stolen Commander Spangler's prosthetic leg!"
"Let me remind you Mom, that we haven't seen cousin Alex and his Jenny because they've been in jail!" Malcolm informed them.
"So what? Everybody makes mistakes." Lois turned away from them, and resumed cleaning up the kitchen table. Obviously, this conversation was over. There was nothing that her family members could say or do that would change her mind.
"What were they in jail for?" Reese asked his brother.
"Embezzlement," Malcolm replied.
"That's when you steal office supplies, right?" Reese inquired.
"You're so stupid, Reese!" Malcolm went into the room that the three boys shared, and began to read a book. "It's when you steal a whole lot of money!"
"I'm scared," whimpered Dewey.
"Shut up, you're always scared," Reese retorted.
"You know what really bothers me?" asked Malcolm.
"That you're such a wuss?" Reese shot back.
"No. Alex and Jenny are always pinching my cheeks, telling me how cute I am, and blowing clouds of smoke in my face. I hate them! And I'm not a wuss!" Malcolm put his book down.
"They're scary!" repeated Dewey. Reese rolled his eyes as he walked into the kitchen.
"Hey Mom, when are they coming, anyway?"
"This afternoon." Lois finished wiping the table and faced her son. "Go clean up your room."
Reese ran hurriedly back to his room. "They're coming in a few hours!" he yelled to his brothers.
"What? No! There's got to be something we can do!" cried Malcolm, sitting up with a start.
"Use your giant brain and think, butt munch!" Reese screamed, panicking.
Reese, Malcolm, and Dewey sat on their beds, trying desperately to think of a plan. A few hours later, they still had no idea what to do. They sat staring at the walls in stony anger.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang. The three boys jumped to their feet in horror.