The Wages of Sin and Desire
By:
K. Yue
Disclaimer: Angel Sanctuary is the sole intellectual property of Kaori Yuki. Some dialogue lines were taken directly from her manga. I also used a few lines from the poem Pippa Passes.
Categories: Alternate universe/angst/tragedy/ hurt/suspense/and supernatural/
Rating: Mature (NC17). The story contains blasphemy, death, incest, sex, and homosexuality.
Summary: He was afraid to lose the only thing of beauty he had ever created, but now that Katan's body has been restored, Rosiel gives into temptation and finally fulfills his threat to taint his beloved cherub. In a world where love between two angels is forbidden, Rosiel is about to break the greatest taboo.
A word from the author: First and foremost, I want to thank Amarissia for taking the time to edit the story. Her efforts have made this story possible. Secondly, this story contains heavy spoilers from manga volumes one though six. This is a Katan X Rosiel story, so the spoilers only pertain to this specific couple.
With Rosiel's return to heaven, all sides of the power struggle were scrambling about in a state of panic. Many had believed that Rosiel had gone into hiding after The Great Battle, but very few angels carried the knowledge that Rosiel had been imprisoned in Assiah by the powerful earth spell cast by his twin sister, Alexiel. Thousands and thousands of years had transpired since Rosiel's imprisonment. Now, the heavens were tainted by greed, blood, and constant war. In the battle to claim heaven, the devils were already gathering their troops for the invasion of Atziluth. The rebel group, Anima Mundi, was strengthening their resistance against the dictator, the Great White Angel, who was acting as Metatron's guardian. Meanwhile, the Prime Minister, Sevothtarte, was trying to suppress both the devils and the rebels in order to fulfill his vision of a white, pure world. And behind their backs, Sandalphon, Metatron's twin brother, was trying to create a new body so that he could take Metatron's title of Great Seraphim
Heaven had never fallen into such a complete state of turmoil before. But now that Rosiel had become another player in the conquest for heaven, they were all left to wonder what the deranged angel would do in order to reclaim his former throne. Whatever might happen, Rosiel was a powerful and formidable opponent. Some rivals would argue that Rosiel was perhaps their greatest threat. He was God's most beloved angel, after all. Beautiful and deadly, the great Inorganic Rosiel was the most powerful angel in heaven next to his father, Adam Kadamon, and his twin sister, the great Organic Angel Alexiel. Sadly, Seraphita had gone missing eons ago. No one knew the whereabouts of the last Adam Kadamon. Alexiel too had been severely punished for her rebellion against God. She had her body imprisoned in an angel crystal while her soul was sentenced to an endless cycle of tragic reincarnations. Currently, her reincarnation, Sentsuna Mudo, was a liability to all of heaven as well.
All in all, the Great White Angel, Sevothtarte, had much more to lose in the power struggle for Atziluth. The clever dictator, having a concise knowledge of his predicament, had ordered Dobiel to remove the easiest obstacle in his path. Dobiel knew full well that Lord Sevothtarte was a tyrant. He ruled heaven with an iron fist. For Dobiel, failure was not an option.
…Kill Rosiel…or bring the casket that the Inorganic Angel has brought from Assiah…
That had been Dobiel's high priority mission. Either of the two choices would get the cruel dictator off his back. Both were simple assignments, or so he thought. Sevi, as everyone called Sevothtarte, had given Dobiel a layout of Rosiel's castle. He had also provided the monetary funds for the special assignment. Killing one man was much easier than suppressing a whole rebellion. Unfortunately, not all had gone as planned. The first assassination attempt had been a complete failure. The head of one of the men he had hired in the slums had been sent back to Dobiel in a silver platter with a note pinned to his forehead. The rest of the dismembered body had been laid carefully under Dobiel's blankets as he slept.
Happy Birthday.
Make a wish?
…the note had read. Reporting his failure to Sevi hadn't been an easy task. He didn't even get the chance to report. Lord Sevothtarte knew everything. He made it abundantly clear that he had only one more chance to kill the Inorganic Angel. Cornered, Dobiel gathered a few elite assassins and he prepared for Rosiel's second assassination attempt. He hired the most blood-thirsty killers. He gathered all the information he could. He used the best weapons available in heaven, but the mission still ended in utter failure. His men had been seduced by the ugly, monstrous angel who had posed as a beautiful woman. His best weapons had been rusted with the power of time magic. He had no place to go and nowhere to hide. He had been cornered by Lord Sevothtarte and by the monstrous Rosiel. He faced the sentence of death at the hands of the powerful Inorganic Angel, or he faced having his wings clipped by Sevothtarte himself.
No, things couldn't end like this for him! Not after all the hard work he had done! He had to use that weapon. It was his only chance.
"GO TO HELL WITHOUT ME!"
The disgruntled Chief of the Cherubim tossed the crucifix at the smirking Inorganic Angel. He was sure that the explosive device would reach the sneering fiend and would detonate in time to release the flesh-eating bacteria that would hopefully end that wretched monster's life. Dobiel watched with unsuppressed excitement as the crucifix quickly made its way to the Inorganic Angel Rosiel.
If Dobiel's secret weapon was a success, then his nightmare would soon be over. Sevothtarte would be forever in his debt and he could blackmail Heaven's Prime Minister for a more suitable promotion. Victory seemed imminent at that exact moment. He could almost taste the saccharine elixir of victory upon his greedy, parched lips. However, Fate had already decided the outcome of his venture; for Fate had every event planned accordingly and in the exact order as they should occur. From afar, Fate watched her precious little puppets as they played their assigned roles in the magnum opus of her tragedy.
Before the game had even started, defeat had already etched its weight upon the cowardly Chief of the Cherubim. Everything had happened so fast that his muddled brain had little time to process what was happening before his very eyes. The crucifix that was supposed to reach the insane angel was snatched in mid-air by an unexpected intruder. The flow of time that had quickened moments before was now flowing lethargically before Dobiel's disbelieving gaze.
The intruder had taken the accursed weapon and had stabbed Dobiel's left shoulder. The Chief of the Cherubim registered the pain moments before the explosive detonated and leveled the entire room.
AHHHHHHH!
KABOOOM…
With an undeniable finality, Dobiel realized that his assassination attempt against Rosiel had been a complete failure. His final gamble had been futile. How could he have botched the job assigned to him by the Prime Minister Sevothtarte? How could he be laying on the floor waiting for death while that beautiful devil was still breathing as if the assassination attempt had never occurred?The dying Chief could not fathom how another being could sacrifice their own life in order to protect a beautiful monster wearing an angel's guise.
The room had been completely obliterated. The explosion had been strong enough to level a part of the mansion's structure. Dobiel himself had been blown into a mutilated corpse waiting for the cold grip of death. Yet, the two monsters before him were completely unscathed by the massive explosion. They were immune to the flesh-eating bacteria that had spread throughout the room. Dobiel was scared beyond anything imaginable. He was scared of death, he was scared of the great white angel Sevothtarte, and he was scared of the freak known as Rosiel. He didn't want to die, and he couldn't stand to witness the disturbing scene that unraveled before him.
With the explosion, a part of the roof had collapsed into the once lavished quarters. The devastation had been enough to kill everyone in sight, but Rosiel was being protected by the very man that had stabbed Dobiel with his own weapon.
"…-urt…Lord…are you hurt?"
Rosiel was more than taken aback by the body that was acting as his shield. His amber eyes went wide with recognition. The Seraph's soft pink lips were slightly parted from a small gasp that had escaped him moments after the explosion. The closeness between them was chaste yet maddening. A part of Rosiel's heart drummed rapidly against his chest, and there was a tiny hint of an imperceptible blush upon Rosiel's delicate face.
Aside from the moment of creation, he had never seen the boy's naked body in its entirety before. Not a single patch of inappropriate flesh had ever been exposed by the boy's conservative attire. Then, realization struck him swiftly like a blade. No, his most beautiful creation was no longer a boy. Why hadn't Rosiel realized it sooner? Was it because his lovely creation had always been innocent and unspoiled? Had he never been corrupted like all the filthy angels in heaven had been?
When had the Seraph's most beloved creation grown to become such a handsome, striking man? And oh, what a striking man he had turned out to be! When had his servant achieved such a pure and blinding beauty? His servant's naked body was absolutely beautiful and masculine; it was everything that he desired for himself. Katan's chiseled body could be considered truly angelic, divine, and unspoiled. And for a moment, Rosiel admired his creation's lean and fit body, his broad shoulders, his toned muscles, his taut, pale skin, and his sharp, winsome face.
And just like the feeling of admiration had overwhelmed him for a split second, a new and viler feeling emerged deep within Rosiel. Yes, the emotion that corroded the core of his being was the emotion known as jealousy. Rosiel hated his effeminate beauty. He hated his frail body and his especially lanky frame. His androgyny was a constant reminder of the decay that his system was experiencing. He wanted a beauty similar to the one he had possessed eons before his imprisonment in the cold, wet earth. Back then, the Inorganic Angel had been bathed in the glorious light of perfection. It irritated the Seraph to know that his own body and beauty were fading with each passing moment.
"…h-urt…Lord…Rosiel…are you hurt?"
His retainer's concerned words brought him back to the present and Rosiel was quick to snap from his sour reverie.
"You're heavy…"
Rosiel's mouth twisted into an angry frown and his brows knitted together in a disapproving scowl.
"GET OFF ME! YOU'RE AS CLUMSY AS EVER."
The petite Seraph exploded into a fit of rage that was hard to control. He desired…he wanted…he hated…
Rosiel pushed hard against Katan's larger frame. He resented his servant's apprehension. He refused to get any help from the worried angel. Rosiel was the most powerful angel in all the heavens. He didn't need the Cherub's help at all. He smacked Katan hard on the chest to get him to move away from his path, and his stoic servant complied without even flinching. When had his cherub stopped smiling? Why did Katan keep looking at him with such a sad and worried expression upon his endearing face?
In a huff, the inorganic angel spun on his heels so that he was facing away from the Cherub. His heart still hammered fiercely in his chest because part of his apprehension had been removed the minute he had seen the Cherub completely regenerated by the power of his feather. Some of his fears had slowly receded the second he had gazed into Katan's unwavering gaze. If he had lost his beloved creation…if his beloved, disobedient child had died…then he would have…the world would have…the remaining strings of his failing sanity would have…
And Rosiel could not entertain the frightening thoughts that invaded his mind any longer. His emotions were jumbled. They clashed against each other so violently that they betrayed the careless attitude that he portrayed in front of calm Cherub. He felt happiness, anger, sadness, relief, desire, and hesitation, love, hate, and the desire to destroy. The petite angel fixed his long gleaming hair and straightened his nightgown. His insecurities had been rising to dangerous levels ever since Katan had been on the brink of death, and all the flattery in the world could not assuage his desire to feel beautiful. No one could quench his desire to feel absolutely loved, so the poisonous question burned deep within the Seraph's soul.
"Am I…beautiful?"
Rosiel asked the question knowing the answer that he would hear from his most valued and trusted retainer.
"Yes."
Katan spoke evenly and without hesitation. "It's almost unimaginable that you exist in this world…"
He continued praising Rosiel without really understanding why someone as beautiful as his creator would need any confirmation of his beauty.
"Lord Rosiel, your beauty and luster will never be duplicated."
His beauty and luster would never be duplicated because Rosiel was as beautiful inwardly as he was outwardly. Rosiel had proven the beauty of his magnanimous soul when he had rescued him from his fate as a Grigor. No one had ever bothered to listen to such lowly beings, but then, Rosiel had been the only one who ever listened. In his eyes, the Inorganic Angel was a god, his god. That was the reason why Katan could never understand why his master never believed his sincere words. He never understood why he kept asking the same question over and over again. Why would Rosiel need all that reassurance? As far a heaven was concerned, no one understood Rosiel's beauty like he did, but his praises and his actions were never enough.
"Tell me more…"
The insecure seraph urged. His expression had completely changed from the uncaring appearance he had worn a few seconds before. He buried himself deep within Katan's gentle embrace. Screw the world around them. Katan was the only person that he needed by his side.
"Those words only mean something coming from you. Nobody else matters. Tell me so much that I can't hear anything else."
The frail angel was vicious in his need for flattery. He clung tightly to Katan who could only pull him closer to his naked body.
"You are beautiful!" Katan exclaimed hoping that Rosiel would calm down a little.
"More! Say it LOUDER!" Rosiel insisted on hearing Katan's honest praise. Only he could say it with the type of honesty that required nothing in exchange. He was the only angel in all the heavens who asked nothing in return for his loyal service.
"Nobody exists who is more beautiful than you."
"MORE! Hit me like a storm!"
Rosiel demanded and Katan happily obliged.
"You shimmer like crystal. Your wavy hair…and pearly skin are all…"
"MORE!"
Rosiel demanded with a passion that frightened Katan. Why was Rosiel so starved for that kind of particular affection? Why did Rosiel demand such flattery when he knew exactly how he felt about him? What could he possibly do to help thaw Rosiel's frozen heart?
ALEXIEL…
The name flashed momentarily across his thoughts. She was the only one who could provide his master with the affection that he so desperately craved.
"Don't worry…" Katan's embrace became even gentler. "I won't go anywhere…" He held his master's small, trembling body closer. He soothingly caressed his masters back as if trying to soothe a frightened child. "I won't be lost anymore." Katan whispered his resolution so that Rosiel would calm down. He would never betray Rosiel. That much he had decided, and for as long as he still held any breath, Katan would always fight to protect his defenseless master.
"…Crazy…You're crazy…You're…crazy…!"
Dobiel was terribly frightened by the scene that transpired before him. He couldn't understand how that monster could be called beautiful when he was incredibly insane and terribly monstrous. Rosiel had deceived them with his pretty appearance. He had disposed of Dobiel's special unit of mercenaries as if they had been nothing but pesky bugs.
"Well…you're looking nice, Dobiel." The seraph clung to Katan's neck like a spoiled and cruel child. He looked down at Dobiel with a mocking expression. His smile was big and sardonic as he pressed his body enticingly closer to the taller angel.
Rosiel was mocking him! The chief of the cherubs understood that much. He understood that the seraph was mocking his misfortune, and he hated the despicable monster even more.
"Looks like you're at your limit…" Rosiel poked Dobiel's dried up corpse with the curiosity of an irreverent child prodding an unusual item. Dobiel was being eaten alive by the bacteria to the point where his body resembled a dried up mummy. Dobiel's breath was becoming even shallower, and soon he would stop breathing completely. "Are you afraid to die?"
There was a sadistic pleasure reflected in Rosiel's golden eyes.
"A life is nothing but a momentary illusion. Yet you want to keep dreaming?"
…Will you cling pathetically to such an ephemeral illusion…?
Katan mulled over the irony of the situation. Hadn't Rosiel pulled him from the brink of death by force? Katan had been ready for death. He had welcomed his tragic fate with peace and resignation. However, his selfish master had fed him his chip to prolong his life against his wishes. Who was the one to cling so aggressively to life's fleeting illusion? It pained Katan deeply to realize that his master was trying to prolong such an ephemeral illusion. It pained him to realize just how obsessed his master was with the past instead of looking forward to a bright new future. But, he would stand by his lord's side regardless of his master's choices. He would follow his lord until the moment of his final breath.
"What do you think, Katan? How shall we treat this assassin? You and Dobiel go way back, right?"
The third ranked cherubim looked at the writhing creature that was dying slowly and painfully on the floor. Dobiel no longer looked like the prideful temporary Chief of the Cherubim that he had been the first time he met him. His superior had fallen from grace such a long, long time ago. His superior no longer cared for the benefit of the entire universe. He no longer worried about the affairs of heaven and earth. All that Dobiel wanted was power to command and to destroy. Why, when, and how had greed corrupted the entire angelic court and tainted it beyond repair?
Katan watched his superior's breath become more strained. It was getting harder and harder to breath. The man's pulse was falling rapidly, and the excruciating physical pain was beyond any verbal description. Not too long ago, Katan had been in a similar position with a desperate Rosiel forcing his chip down his raspy throat. Katan didn't want others to suffer a similar fate. Death should always come naturally to all living things. No one should suffer a similar experience, because for as long as he lived, he would try to reduce all casualties as much as he possibly could.
"Death to the insolent." He responded at last.
"Aha, ha, ha, ha…"
Rosiel laughed almost maniacally when he heard Katan's reply. He was always amused by the answers of his ever righteous child. Even now, Katan wanted to save Dobiel from the horrible fate of becoming one of Rosiel's mindless drones! Why would Katan sacrifice himself for everyone's sake? Rosiel would never be able to comprehend the virtue of that honest cherub. He had sacrificed himself for Kirie, for that ragged child from the slums, and now he was asking Rosiel to spare the suffering of that greedy assassin. How unfortunate for Katan, Rosiel mused, it appeared that Dobiel feared the thought of death more than anything. Dobiel would sell his soul to the devil for a second shot at life.
Then, Rosiel's madness gained momentum. His insanity was getting harder and harder to control with each passing day. He stomped on the mutilated angel's dying corpse eliciting a painful groan. Ah, the sounds of pain…
"Dobiel…" He said at last. "I'm a very tolerant being, so I'll give you a chance. I'm not angry at all for you punching me earlier."
Rosiel stood up from his squatting position by Dobiel's side and made a sensual strut towards the still and silent angel, Katan.
"I'm only going to ask you once…so listen carefully."
Once he reached his destination, he wrapped his arms around the stoic angel's neck and pressed his body lasciviously closer to his servant's naked body.
"If you want to live…" Rosiel inquired. "Am I…beautiful?"
They were crazy!
From where Dobiel stood, The Inorganic Angel and the third ranked Cherub from his unit appeared to be as close as lovers. He had always known that Katan had been infatuated with the monstrous Inorganic Angel, but he had never imagined, in his wildest dreams, that Rosiel reciprocated that feeling with such a scorching intensity. Just how damned was this beautiful couple? They held the physical beauty and the power that he had desired for himself. They had beautiful statuesque bodies, they were immune to such ailments that other angels were not, and they had beautiful doll-like faces. So very few angels in heaven had been born beautiful, but Sevothtarte was right, beautiful faces were but a mask to cover their rotting souls. He was disgusted and terrified of the way in which these two men held each other so intimately. Two men so close to each other was…And suddenly, Dobiel was even more frightened of the freaks standing imperviously before him. They were monsters of the most horrible and vile kind he'd ever known, yet they were beyond beautiful and powerful…and he desired. He wanted beauty. He wanted power. He wanted life.
"Y…es…Ro…siel is…beauty…ful…"
Rosiel snickered loudly. He moved to a position where he could gently caress his child's expressionless face. His pale, thin hand reached to caress Katan's cheek with tender, caring motions. His touch was gentle, loving, and almost sensual in nature which terrorized Dobiel even more.
"Did you hear that, Katan? Looks like he wants to become a freak."
Rosiel moved away from his child and closer to the dying usurper to the cherubim throne.
"Well said Dobiel." He said with a smile wide on his pretty lips.
Rosiel's state of elation could be detected in his sugary words and bouncy child-like steps. It bothered Katan to see his master so starved for affection. With each passing day, Rosiel became much more starved for worship. It troubled Katan that Rosiel no longer cared where the praise came from as long as his beauty was acknowledged by everyone surrounding him. This fear-provoking awareness disturbed Katan even more because he recognized that not everyone approached his lord with good intentions in mind.
"Here's my blood as a reward…now drink."
As soon as Rosiel had given the command, a few ruby-red drops of blood splattered onto the damaged floor. Dobiel lapped the damning liquid off the floor like a thirsty dog, and for Rosiel's practical purposes, he had acquired a new dog.
"Yes…" Rosiel encouraged his newly acquired toy. "That's a good boy."
....Keep drinking my poisonous blood…
A few minutes after the incident, Rosiel and Katan were standing before the coffin that had been brought back from earth. Rosiel was looking down at the coffin with an eager expression. He half expected for his child to cringe with disgust at the sight of Dobiel's transformation. The majority of those who had seen the transformation had been shocked into a state of insanity. Did he really expect such a reaction from his faithful cherub? A part of Rosiel, the part that housed his insanity, wanted to know. A part of Rosiel, the rational part that remained, did not. To his pride and satisfaction, Katan's expression remained as neutral as always. What could he possibly say? He too had undergone a similar transformation, but unlike Dobiel, Katan had fought aggressively to retain his own individuality, and Rosiel silently acknowledged that Katan had always been so different from all the angels in heaven. His creation was the only thing of beauty that he actually owned.
"Nice…who would have thought your coffin would suit Dobiel so well…?"
Rosiel was very pleased at the moment. He now possessed a useful toy to help him make Sevi's life even more miserable and unbearable than ever before. Now, Prime Minister Sevothtarte was going to feel cornered and seriously threatened by the actions of the heaven's true Great Seraphim. Aside from torturing the heaven's prime minister with his new acquisition, Rosiel's new puppet within the high council would help him to reclaim the throne he had lost during his forced imprisonment in Assiah*. The great Inorganic Angel peered into the coffin. His golden eyes sparkled with mischief.
"Look, the transformation has already begun. Look closely at what happens to those who drink my blood."
As if on cue, Dobiel's dried up corpse started to shake and rattle within the limited space of the coffin. Both angels observed how various types of wires started to protrude from Dobiel's body to cover him in a knot of cables that were quickly turning into raw muscles, smooth flesh, and skin. Once the body had been completed, the newly reconstructed body began to thrash even more violently than before. Katan looked closer at the convulsing body. Dobiel's new body was getting rid of all the excessive and unneeded bodily fluids in order to achieve a perfect bond with Rosiel's psyche.
Once, in Assiah, Katan had come across the legends of the immortal beings that humans called vampires. He had come across this reference material while he was trying to work on the Angel Sanctuary game that would help him gather the sufficient astral energy to free his imprisoned lord. Many of the vampire legends he had read while in Assiah resurfaced. Their descriptions were very similar to Dobiel's transformation. Was that really Rosiel's true from? Had he transformed in the same grotesque way?
Yes, he had transformed in a similar fashion, but something inside of him told him that he had always been the one true exception. But the price of his transformation had come at a high price. There was something that weighed heavily upon his heart. He didn't remember going through the same phases that Dobiel had had. Only the wires and the clumps of flesh had been the same. However, Katan had gone through an intense period of starvation that made him feel like he would have been able to devour the entire universe. The desire to consume everything in sight had been a terrible feeling.
"My…true...form…."
Rosiel's sad words brought the cherub back from his trance. He looked at his master with a sad and worried expression. And just as sudden, a new memory surfaced in Katan. He remembered the gluttonous greed. He remembered the desire to consume everything available. Was that a part of Rociel's true form as well? Just the thought and guilt that coursed thorough the cherub was enough to send shivers down his spine. Katan held the slipping piece of cloth that covered him closer to his body. It had taken all of his willpower to restrain himself from trying to devour Rosiel. Something made the feeling in his gut clinch even tighter. He felt even guiltier for having devoured the life of so many innocent angel children. He had devoured all the children for the exception of one little girl.
…Eat me cleanly. I don't want to be half eaten…No I'm not afraid…I'm the same as you…
Come to think of it, Teiaiel had also evoked the same feeling of protectiveness in him. He had felt sorry for the unfortunate little girl –Teiaiel, the poor, unwanted child from the slums. He also felt sorry for the other children. How could he ever atone for his crimes? Katan's throat tightened from sorrow. He could not deny that with every breath he took, that with every day that that came to a close, he strayed further and further away from the path of salvation.
…I once ate an angel too…
It had broken Katan's heart to have encountered such a feared and dejected soul. Teiaiel was not to blame for her actions. Her small transgression was a sin begotten by the prejudices of a corrupt heaven that no longer cared for wisdom, tolerance, and righteousness. They had condemned the little girl for being different from all the other angels in heaven. To Katan, Teiaiel's powers were not frightening or monstrous. There were many angels in heaven that possessed extraordinary abilities that could benefit both the earth and the heavens.
…If I can be of use to someone…then you can eat me.
Teiaiel had been one of the kindest angels he had met after the corruption of heaven. That tiny angel worried for the sake of others, and she placed other's needs before her own.
…You're actually nice, aren't you…mister…?…You're very afraid…aren't you…?
Reading the minds of other's was not a mortal sin. God, in his infinite wisdom, had created such abilities for a reason. She had been an important part of God's creation, yet she had been rejected by the heavens, and she had been forsaken by the other angels who had come to fear such an amazing ability.
…You're in this form because you're lost…you want to protect someone precious…but you have so much kindness and consciousness remaining in your heart…
Katan could understand why other angels would be intimidated by Teiaiel's mysterious ability. Only those angels with something to hide could and would feel threatened if their secrets were to be exposed. If heaven had not been corrupted, then no one would have any sins to hide and children like Teiaiel would not be feared, rejected, and persecuted.
…Yet your body hungers…and is overflowing with desire…that's why you are suffering so much….
That tiny child had been able to understand his conflicting emotions so well. Together they had made the promise to walk the righteous path that would lead them to the country of light where their sins would be washed away.
…Now you've done it…That's no good, Katan…But I knew all along…I knew you would choose him in the end …
Katan's heart clenched with grief when he remembered Tiara's death. He moved away from Rosiel's side momentarily and made his way to Tiara's body. Teiaiel's small body was lying cold on the ground with a white blanket over it. He had covered Tiara's dead body reverently before leaving to help Rosiel. He picked up her tiny body and gave her one last hug to commemorate their silent parting.
"Seems like you had a real soft spot for this child, so how about it? If we turn her into one of us, she'd come back to life with eternal life, an immortal body, great powers…and –"
"No." Katan interrupted. He held the child's body protectively in his arms "Let's not. She has been through enough already. That would be…just too cruel…"
There was a long moment of silence that stretched between the two angels. Katan was trying to control the sadness and grief that had settled as a tight lump in his throat. Rosiel could only look at his child and smile a cheerless smile.
So broken…already so, so broken…
"I will burry her under the white flowers, so that her body will become fertilizer for a beautiful garden."
Katan caressed Teiaiel's blood covered tresses a few more times in a silent request for forgiveness. Teiaiel had been nothing but an innocent bystander in the vicious power struggles of heaven. All he had ever wanted was to stop heaven's current battles. He had never intended to drag other people into the fray. He was not afraid of death, but he did not want other people, especially the innocent, to die needlessly in senseless battle.
"That is how all life should end…" Katan concluded. "It is grotesque and cruel, but…it is the most basic of nature's rules."
"Yeah…"
Rosiel's sad, humorless expression did not change. His informal consent had been issued as a heartfelt apology to Katan. The proud angel said nothing more after that. If Katan didn't want to resurrect the little girl using the power of his accursed inorganic blood, then he would respect his child's decision for the time being.
Later that evening, when all the commotion had settled down, Rosiel stood on the balcony of his bedroom. He looked down at the garden area with a bored expression. In there, Katan was planting a field of white daises and white chrysanthemum flowers. The white blanket of flowers swayed gently with the breeze. They covered Teiaiel's grave making it a pretty sight to behold, but the seraph had refused to join Katan in his mourning because he had never cared for the young child from the start. She had only been brought by the contractor as food for his precious cherub. He had never expected that Katan would develop such a strong attachment to the girl. Then, a pang of violent jealousy coursed through the great seraph when he remembered that his child had dared to defy him because of her. She had wanted to take Katan away from him! She had instigated Katan's short lived rebellion. So, he was secretly happy when she became the victim of that failed assassination attempt. Of course, he would never reveal that secret to his innocent cherub. He would allow Katan to mourn in quiet solitude.
Once again, Rosiel focused his attention on the handsome cherub. He was dressed in the simple military suit that he always wore in heaven. Rosiel had to admit the he looked magnificent in such an ordinary and generic uniform. Katan had always possessed the kind of handsomeness that was hard to resist. Not all angels in heaven were as handsome or as graceful as his creation. He admired Katan with the overflowing pride of a loving father. Rosiel had created a child that was handsome, pure, and honest. He was everything that Rosiel was not. They were complete opposites, and Rosiel felt a twinge of bitterness course thought his blood, because a long time ago, he too had been extremely handsome. But then, he noticed something strange about Katan. He had trimmed his hair a little, but he had left it slightly longer than it had been on Assiah.
He had slicked his hair back in a manner that made him appear more professional, but at the same time, it gave him a much older, more mature quality. Had Katan wanted to abandon his playful, boyish appearance to look more mature? Why? It brought a slight sincere smile to Rosiel's lips when he saw the cherub playing gardener. Like everything else he'd ever done, Katan planted the white daises and white chrysanthemums as if he were a professional. He'd understood the meaning of his child's words during Dobiel's transformation. But, he had never expected Katan to be so literal about burying the child under a field of white flowers. Rosiel couldn't help the smirk that tugged at his small lips. The flowers that Katan had chosen conveyed the right message for the right occasion. Truth, innocence, loyalty, and purity suited both of them well.
Then, Rosiel witnessed an event that soured his volatile mood completely. He was watching the cherub tending to Teiaiel's grave when two meddlesome sisters appeared by Katan's side. They delivered a message to him that Rosiel was unable to hear clearly because his focus was on the scene that transpired before his golden eyes. It had something to do with the high council or something, but he hadn't been able hear the entire message and he couldn't care less. Katan thanked the sisters with a gentle smile and a few kind words, but even with the polite dismissal, the sisters refused to leave his side. They were taking the flowers and the gardening tools from his hands with the excuse that high-ranking lords like Katan should not bother with such trivialities. It was the sisters' lingering touches, their deceptively sweet smiles, and their flushed, pretty faces that angered Rosiel.
Those filthy, unworthy whores!
Those conniving, sinful sisters!
Don't you dare to touch Katan!
They were trying to take Katan away from him! Just like all the others! Rosiel's amber eyes widened with horror, hate, jealousy, and disgust. The depth and range of his emotions had been altered so suddenly that he had lost control of his astral powers momentarily. Without even noticing it, the seraph had cracked the glass panes of the windows near by. His power had also targeted his child and had made a cut on his cherub's lovely face. Katan said nothing and reacted as if nothing had happened. But now and then, he would sneak a few furtive glances in the direction of Rosiel's room, and once again, the cherub's expressive gray eyes reflected concern for the well being of his lonely master. The sisters, on the other hand, only flustered at the sight of the blood dripping from Katan's wound, and they rushed to take care of the cut by cleaning it.
No, no, no, don't touch him!
Don't touch him with those filthy hands!
Get away from him!
Rosiel's state of panic and guilt lasted a few seconds. He hadn't meant to hurt Katan! But, the innocent cherub had incurred his wrath when he allowed the sisters to touch him. He had felt threatened by the thought of losing Katan again. No! He could not afford to lose his servant! Katan belonged to him and to no one else! He owned Katan, yet he had been so close to losing his cherub on many occasions since his awakening. No, he had to device a plan to retain him. He had to find a way to bind Katan tighter to his side. If the high council and his military duties kept Katan away from him, then he would exempt him from all military obligations. If the intrusive sisters tried to rob him of Katan's affection, then he would get rid of each and every whore.
Yes, Rosiel would do that. He would fire all the servants and only keep a few of the less attractive ones. Of course, that was an appropriate solution for his problems. And although the mess after the explosion had been cleared up by the diligent sisters and the other employees, Rosiel felt that he no longer needed their meddlesome help. He only needed Katan to serve him –only Katan and no one else. But first, Rosiel would have to calm his wrestles soul. Yes, he had to distract himself. The silver-haired seraph had Dobiel's casket moved to his room in the meantime. Soon his pet would awaken with a thirst that would render his new puppet completely useless if he wasn't fed. Heaven's Inorganic Angel spared a glance to the coffin resting on the farthest corner of the room. He became suddenly disgusted at the sight of his knew acquisition. He hated all of his mindless puppets, and yet he could not live a life without them.
Irritated with himself, Rosiel turned away from the casket only to be reminded of the tray with the untouched food that the sisters had brought for him nearly two hours ago. Oh, those filthy, treacherous sluts! Oh, how much he despised those beguiling harlots! In a violent rage, Rosiel knocked the fancy platter and silverware onto the floor.
Crash…
The noise from the broken porcelain attracted the attention of a sister who immediately rushed into his room to see what ruckus was all about. Rosiel's expression hardened. His cold, amber eyes glowed with petty hatred. How he hated the sister's pretty little face.
"GET OUT!"
Rosiel's seething voice commanded with anger and contempt.
"GET OUT! GO AWAY! YOU'RE NO LONGER NEEDED!"
The frightened sister quickly cleaned the mess and removed the broken porcelain before fleeing the livid seraph's room.
Later that same evening, Katan knocked softly on Rosiel's door.
"Lord Rosiel, are you there?"
Rosiel didn't bother to answer the cherub's question. He felt lethargic as of late and with little desire to do anything else. Suddenly, an amused, lazy grin tugged at Rosiel's lips. Wasn't sloth considered one of the major seven deadly sins? After the relaxing, rose-petal scented bath, the seraph had gone to bed. He had slept for a few hours without any rest. He refused to leave his room. He didn't want to deal with anything or anyone –Not yet anyways.
Silently, Katan entered his master's room. He saw the seraph sprawled about the bed caressing a pillow with a languid touch. Rosiel had a bored expression upon his pretty face. Katan noticed his master's glazed golden eyes staring into a void of nothing but sweet emptiness. Perhaps his master was thinking of Alexiel again. It worried him to see his master so weary, but again he stayed silent. No words were necessary between them, but even if he tried, he was sure that Rosiel would only be angered. He set the newly prepared food by Rosiel's bedside table. He was worried because the seraph was neglecting the health of his body again. He scarcely ate anything these days, and even angels required a certain amount of food for their bodies. He stole a secretive glace at his master's thin, pale body. It looked even more fragile than ever before in that short, flowing nightgown. A slight breeze entered the room though the open windows and Rosiel's body gave a tiny violent shudder. When had Rosiel's body become so frail and delicate? Why did Rosiel look extremely young? He had noticed the subtle changes in Rosiel's body long before Alexiel's rebellion, but the changes had never been as apparent as they were now. He was no fool, Lord Rosiel was…
Katan looked at his master's small body once more. He was almost sure that if he even touched his master's delicate body, it would break with the slightest touch. But even with that petite frame, Katan acknowledged, Rosiel still possessed a tremendous amount of astral power. Still, Katan worried about the seraph's wellbeing. He walked up to the open windows and started to close them one at a time to prevent the breeze from cooling the room entirely. Rosiel watched Katan's movements from his bed with a lazy expression. Yes, Katan was the only person he needed at the moment.
"Say, Katan…do you think I am beautiful?"
Katan, who had been startled, paused momentarily. He hadn't expected to hear his master's voice. He hadn't anticipated Rosiel to acknowledge his presence within the room either.
"Yes…" Katan closed the last of the open windows. "…Your infinite beauty in the heavens has no comparison. Your radiance shines brighter and more captivating than any other angel in Atziluth…"
Katan's eyes widened for a brief moment when he felt Rosiel's arms wrap languorously about his own arm to drag him slowly towards the bed. When had Rosiel moved from his spot on bed? No, it couldn't be right, Katan was usually aware of his master's movements. So when and why had he missed them now? Rosiel guided the hesitant cherub slowly and patiently towards the bed. They sat at the edge of the luxurious bed with Rosiel still coiled around Katan's rigid arm. Rosiel smiled and leaned closer against the cautious cherub. As a conditioned response, the cherub's body stiffened involuntarily. Katan never knew what to expect or how to react towards his master's advances. With a satisfied sigh, Rosiel reclined his head against the stiff angel's shoulder seeming every bit like a spoiled child greedy for love and attention.
"Tell me more…" Rosiel whispered contentedly.
"You are the most beautiful of all God's creation, Lord Rosiel. No one exists in this entire universe that holds one fraction of the beauty that you own. The lapis lazuli strands of hair that shine like glass, your pearly white skin that glitters softly with the sparkling light , and the beauty of your compassionate soul have no comparison…No one will ever come close to that beauty, Lord Rosiel."
Rosiel smiled a pleased smile and released a satisfied moan near one of the cherub's sensitive ears.
"Don't stop…continue."
Rosiel's voice was deceptively sweet and calm, but Katan's body tensed tightly nonetheless. His master's voice carried the type of forced sweetness that brought a chill to the wary cherub. Usually, Rosiel's soft, saccharine voice came before or after the physical punishment that he would always inflict upon the resigned cherub. At times, sweetness was a precursor to pain. Sometimes, sweetness became like a soothing ointment after the severe physical punishment. Katan clenched his teeth and prepared his body for the pain that would follow. He was already expecting the sting of Rosiel's ire that came with his master's radical mood changes. But, all he received was a gentle squeeze to his arm. Surprise colored the cherub's exquisite face.
What was causing his master's strange behavior? Why hadn't Rosiel punished him yet? Katan could have sworn that the Inorganic Angel had been furious at him for choosing Tiara over him. It still didn't explain why Rosiel had been acting strange since the incident with Dobiel. He snuck a glance at his lord. He appeared to be lost in a pure state of rapture. Rosiel's state of elation derived from Katan's honest praise. He loved to hear his child's sweet, honest voice whenever he praised his beauty. No other praise could evoke in him the same tingly and almost orgasmic reaction from his body in the same way that Katan's praises were capable of doing. Katan's exaltations were like a sweet poison that sedated the ravenous, insecure beast inside him. However, he still needed more.
"You are truly sublime, Lord Rosiel. The beauty of your soul is divine and it captivates everything and everyone…"
Rosiel's small, delicate hands cupped his cherub's face and he guided Katan's face closer to his own. The touch was as cool and gentle as the expression he wore. The Inorganic Angel's amber eyes were completely glazed and their fair, golden color was darkened by something akin to lust. Their faces were so invitingly close to each other that they could feel their breaths mingle together as one. The awkward feeling that had settled on the pit of the cherub's stomach increased. He always became so nervous and uncertain whenever Rosiel's actions became unpredictable and hard to decipher. Katan had seen that same glazed look in more than one occasion. But on this particular occasion, his master's eyes held a strange, unreadable twinkle that was hard to describe. In a sudden, unexpected movement, he felt Rosiel press his small body closer against his. The world stood at a standstill then, and Katan forgot how to breathe completely. He could feel the delicate shape of Rosiel's body so completely that it made him even more nervous. He could even feel the coolness of Rosiel's skin through the fabric of his uniform. What quality made this embrace so different from the previous embrace only a few hours before? Katan's brain could not arrive to a definite conclusion. Rosiel had clung to him countless of times before. He himself had held Rosiel tightly against him in a protective embrace. However, Rosiel's embrace felt different somehow. This time the embrace felt wrong and almost forbidden in nature.
Rosiel's amber eyes glowed with satisfaction as a smirk pulled at the corners of his smooth pink lips. His innocent cherub was finally beginning to catch up! All the times previous to their current exchange, Rosiel had wanted to taint his innocent child so badly. It was like a maddening craving that dragged Rosiel further into sin and insanity. It was such a grotesque desire that twisted and consumed his soul completely. Why did he desire Katan's body so completely? Was it because he had created it? Was it because Katan's body represented everything he envied? Was the cherub's beautiful body something he wished he himself could have? Or was his desire just a momentary form of amusement? He had come so deliciously close to defiling Katan's clean body and spirit, but each time that he had come close to tainting his child's purity, a flicker of sanity prevented him from going any further than a few stolen kisses or inappropriate touches. But lately, his insanity was getting harder and harder to control. Someone as ugly as Rosiel needed something of beauty to balance the hideousness of his sadistic nature. Katan had been crated with that purpose. He had been created as proof that he could give life to something of untainted, radiant beauty. He was a reminder that not all angels had fallen from grace. Katan was a testament to the beauty that this repulsive world could hold. He was an adequate balance that kept his hatred for this world in constant check.
No one possessed the same blinding purity that his son possessed. No angel in heaven cared about this world with the same intensity that Katan did. Then why did he want to destroy everything he had created? He wanted to destroy his beautiful creation because he couldn't stand looking at such breathtaking wholesomeness. Rosiel's body, spirit, and soul had been corrupted eons ago. He couldn't stand the filthiness in him any longer! Rosiel hated having to look up at Katan's breath-taking light from the revolting side of darkness into which he had been cast by the will of the creator. What a beautiful and effective fallen angel Rosiel had become. Lucifer and his followers were nothing in comparison to the enticing and cruel Rosiel. He wanted to drag everyone and everything he touched into the foulness of sin. Yes, he couldn't stand the radiance of Katan's purity any longer. He wanted to taint his child with the pleasures of the flesh. As an incentive, Rosiel traced the cut he had inflicted upon Katan's cheek with his moist tongue. He licked the cut slowly. He savored the taste of the wound he had exacted with the force of his astral powers. He loved the taste of blood. Pain and pleasure made the greatest combination.
Katan gasped loudly in reaction to Rosiel's bold advances. Surprise had made his gasping reaction come unbidden to his lips. He hadn't been quite successful in suppressing the strained sound that escaped him. Rosiel only smirked and flicked his tongue against Katan's smooth cheek a second time. The cherub reeled away from Rosiel's touch with apparent surprise and horror. What was Lord Rosiel up to? Katan had almost fallen from the edge of the bed from the shock. Had it not been for Rosiel's tight grip, the angel would have fallen unceremoniously off the bed. However, the clever seraph had used that moment to lean forward to capture Katan in a violent, needy kiss. Rosiel did not hesitate. He used his tongue to delve deeper inside Katan's mouth to deepen their kiss. He moved his tongue hungrily inside the unresponsive cherub's mouth, but the surprised angel remained frozen to his spot. The kiss reminded Katan of the kiss that Rosiel had given him in Assiah. But now, feeding him the chip was no longer necessary since he had already taken the great seraph's feather into his body. Soon, the kiss was over and Rosiel moved back. It stung heavily to be rejected so bluntly by the cherub who had professed countless of times that he loved him deeply. No one had ever rejected his advances the way Katan had.
"Lord Rosiel!"
The cherub exclaimed a bit rattled. He looked into Rociel's eyes only to discover the rage that colored his lovely face. Katan knew instantly that he had angered his master. With a great sense of dejection, the offended seraph slapped him with all of his frail might. The sound of the strike echoed loudly throughout the silent bedroom chamber. Katan cradled his aching cheek momentarily. He was looking every bit as confused as he had been minutes before their exchange.
"You're a despicable man, Katan! Everyone in heaven follows my every whim except you. Why is it that only you refuse to do as I wish? Tell me, Katan, do you reject me because you know that deep down I'm nothing but a hideous monster!"
"No, Lord Rosiel, that is not what I meant...I'm –"
"Then why do you reject me. Katan! Why do you make me feel so insecure! Not long ago you were praising my beauty…"
Rosiel moved farther away from the confused cherub and buried his face into one of the pillows he had been holding a few moments ago. Was he being honest with himself, or was it just another ploy to manipulate his cherub? And deep inside, Rosiel already knew the answer to that unspoken question. He was doing this to manipulate his loyal son. His plan was nothing but a dark machination to forcefully bind the cherub closer to him. It was Rosiel's desperate attempt to strengthen the chains that bound them together as master and servant. He wanted to bend Katan's will to his own. He wanted to corrupt Katan's innocence once and for all. Let them be condemned for their sins together as one. Let them be judged by God as master and servant, as father and child, as angels, as lovers, and as men. Let the wrath of the creator consume them both –let their misery end together –that was Rosiel's true desire. The mattress dipped with the weight of the hesitant cherub. Rosiel smirked into his pillow. He had the ever trusting cherub dancing in the palm of his hand. Rosiel felt a reverent, trembling hand rest on his shoulder, and his smirk only widened.
"You are truly beautiful, Lord Rosiel…I know that there are few words in this world that can describe just how beautiful you are…but please…Lord Rosiel…believe me when I say…that your beauty is sublime."
Rosiel uncurled from his position on the bed to lie fully on his back. He looked at Katan with a cold, calculating expression. He always knew when and how to manipulate his child's feelings. He knew what it took to get the most perfect reaction from the honest cherub, and guilt was always a great tool for manipulation. He looked intensely into the eyes of his most beloved possession. Why were Katan's beautiful grey eyes so exquisite and expressive? How could he convey all of his feelings so clearly and openly with his beautiful grey eyes? The cherub's eyes were almost like a smoky mirror. They weren't really stormy grey but glittering silver. Why did they reflect his monstrous beauty and made it so beautiful and appealing to behold. Love –it was the only sentiment that could redeem something so ugly and monstrous. Long ago, the sisters had voiced how revolting his body had been. But, his son had seen past all the fake appearances and had told him without hesitation that he was truly beautiful. Damn him, damn him to hell for trying to corrupt the cherub's integrity.
If only madness had not consumed him…If only he could retain just a bit of grace…If only Alexiel had kept her promise…If only he could stop himself before he ruined everything he had ever cared for…But, everything else was nothing more than wishful thinking from his part. A side of him wanted what he was about to do. He had always been indulged by everyone including by the creator himself. He was nothing but a spoiled angel. Heaven had no place for someone like him, but nothing really mattered because the seraph was about to win. Katan had never been able to reject the most basic of his outrageous requests. It was only a matter of time. He took the cherub's quivering hand and placed it on his cool cheek.
"Then use your body to prove to me how much you really love me, Katan. Use your body to make me feel beautiful…because your sweet, intoxicating words are no longer enough…"
Katan's thumb kept brushing the soft skin of Rosiel's smooth cheek lovingly. A relationship between two angels was strictly forbidden, and sodomy, next to incest, was frowned upon as perhaps the greatest taboo of all. God had condemned the form of love that Rosiel was demanding from him now. It saddened Katan to realize that all of his efforts had never been enough to satisfy the only person who had ever cared for his misfortune. He loved Rosiel. He loved Rosiel more than anyone, but his love was honest and chaste. No sacrifice from his part had ever been too small to please his lord, but the kind of misguided love that Rosiel was demanding as proof was not the type of love that Katan could ever give him. Katan wrestled with his duties, with his love for Rosiel, and with the loyalty that he had sworn. He was not as naïve as he had been during his youth. He understood that many angels in heaven had succumbed to carnal pleasure. Even his lord had not been exempt.
"Why do you hesitate, Katan? Have all your pretty words been nothing but treacherous deceit on your part?"
Many times in Assiah, his lord had sought the heat of other bodies to quench his thirst for adulation. Katan had even held the slightest suspicion that Rosiel had succumbed to desire long before the Great War. Although, Katan had never inquired; in reality, he had never wanted to confirm his suspicions. Katan realized that lust was something natural to all sentient beings. Angels were not immune to the desires of the flesh. God had not granted his angels invulnerability to lust. All of the angels in heaven had to live with the knowledge that these feeling existed, but they were required to suppress such emotions in compliance to God's will. But without the guidance from the all-mighty God, the angels had rapidly fallen from grace. Each and every time that his lord had succumbed to such desires, Katan had willingly turned a blind eye to his master's risky escapades. The cherub had only voiced his concern once. That was all it had taken to incur the seraph's wrath. Rosiel had punished him severely for his irreverence, and Katan said nothing more about the subject. Rosiel had made it perfectly clear that he had no intentions of denying himself the pleasures of sex.
A part of Katan had chosen to overlook his master's improper behavior because it was something that his master needed in order to fill part of the void that Alexiel had left in Rosiel. Everyone in heaven had expressed their undying love for Rosiel. Alexiel had been the only angel to reject him. Katan understood some of Rosiel's reasons, but he couldn't understand the reason why Rosiel was tormenting him so cruelly. His love was the purest form of love that one could give –selfless love that required no compensation. His love had never been ill intentioned or blasphemous. He didn't want to taint or betray his feelings of honest love for the person who had given him a body and a new life as a cherub, but Rosiel was asking him to betray that honest sort of love within him and turn it into nothing more than a deadly sin. The cherub had already given him everything he had. All that he ever possessed had been given to his lord, and yet his lord was not fully satisfied.
"No, my lord…my praises have always been honest and sincere…"
"Then why won't you touch me…?"
Katan had no words to describe the kind of pain that crushed his heart. Had all his hard work been for nothing? Why couldn't Rosiel understand? He was really, truly beautiful. He needed no words; he needed no touches to validate the beauty of his iridescent soul.
…He was once a very kind person…which is how he became like this…his conscience and his loyalty to you clash…he can't be both positive and negative…
Tiara had been right all along.
…He has two roads…To throw away his conscience and walk alongside you…or to throw you away and atone for his sins…
But, Katan had never been able to forsake Rosiel. Even at the cost of his own body and soul, Katan had placed his master's good interests before his own. No, he couldn't leave his master's side, not when his presence was so desperately needed, but at the same time, he wanted to decline his master's invitation. The love that he felt for Rosiel only encompassed the goodness of integral, familial love that a son could feel for a father.
…But I knew all along…I knew you would choose him in the end …
Sadly, Katan had already chosen his path. He had chosen Rosiel over any other path that lay before him. He had made a choice that he would never be able to take back. The moment he had sullied his hands with the blood of mankind to free Rosiel from Alexiel's seal, he had chosen the path of eternal condemnation. Katan closed his eyes tightly for a moment.
…When he's in your presence, he can't disobey you…If he sees you…his determination will weaken…
Forgive me, Teiaiel…
When he opened his eyes once more, Katan stared into his lord's enticing golden eyes. There was no turning back. He knew that. He needed to live with the consequences of both his choices and his actions. He didn't want to drag Rosiel further down the path of damnation, but he also couldn't deny many of Rosiel's self-centered requests. His conscience and his loyalty were clashing fiercely against each other could he make Rosiel understand that he didn't need any one to remind him that he possessed the noblest soul in the entire cosmos?No other being had ever been as kind or as generous as he. Why couldn't he understand that physical beauty was only skin-deep and inconsequential? True beauty rested in one's soul, and that was the only thing of substance in this universe.
Katan inhaled a long, deep, and shaky breath.
"Lord Rosiel…" He said at last. "Is this really the only way in which I can prove to you just how beautiful you are? Is this the only kind of proof that you'll accept?"
Rosiel, who had seen Katan's internal conflict reflected in his expressive grey eyes, only smirked.
"Yes…this is the only kind of proof that I'll accept…"
Rosiel wrapped his arms tightly around Katan's neck and pulled the reluctant cherub down for a passionate kiss. Rosiel loved the taste of Katan's firm lips. They were nothing like Kirie's, and they were nothing like the other men he had ever kissed. What made him so different from all the others? Was it the tenderness of his kiss? Was it the honesty of his feelings? Was it the respect he held for such a wretched being? What was it? Why did it feel so different? The mattress dipped even further with the full weight of two people, and Rosiel welcomed the weight of Katan's body against his own. It felt incredibly inviting to feel his cherub's fit body, because Katan's body had always been so exceptionally warm. Even as a child, Katan had always been so warm and compassionate. Katan would always smile at him with that genuine happiness of being alive.
Just when did his cherub stop smiling so freely? Back then, when Rosiel still had some semblance of sanity, he would tend to the small candidate for Think Tank whenever he would pass out from all the hard studying. There, under the heavenly light of Atziluth, Rosiel would ruffle the small angel's soft silver hair lovingly – he was a testament to all the beautiful things he was capable of doing. Katan was his pride and his joy. Even now, Rosiel's pride for the cherub still remained the same. So, why had he ensnared the only being who had ever given him his love? Damn his insanity. Damn the world. Damn the creator who had given him such a miserable existence. Everything was becoming so damn confusing and harder to control. He could no longer contain the insanity that was eating him alive.
The sight of Rosiel's tortured expression made the cherub's heart ache even more. He only wanted Rosiel to be happy. He wanted Rosiel to smile a heartfelt smile. He didn't want for Rosiel to feel so forlorn. No matter how much he praised Rosiel; no matter how many hours he spent by Rosiel's side, and no matter how much reassurance he gave Rosiel, his lord still walked a lonely path. If only the cherub could grant Rosiel's true wishes. If only he could help his lord somehow…Ah, but his lord had already made a request.
He had stated what he needed from Katan in order to be happy if only for a brief moment, and for the sake of his lord, he would comply with Rosiel's selfish request. When had Rosiel turned into such a cruel and spoiled child? Is this the only way to make you happy, Lord Rosiel? The cherub's eyes were asking the silent question that his mouth refused to voice out loud. But in his lord's lidded, golden eyes, the answer could not be more evident. Katan's trembling hands tangled themselves into Rosiel's wavy, crystal-like tresses. He cupped his master's head and he pulled him in for simple, tender kiss. But despite the bold initiative that he had taken, the cherub's trepidation was apparent in his movements. He kissed Rosiel's soft lips with tenderness and reverence, but deep inside of him, he fostered the tiniest hope that Rosiel would change his mind and stop their sinful exchange.
"Don't look at me with such a sad expression, Katan…you know that my will is absolute…"
And suddenly, both angels shifted into a sitting position. Rosiel used that opportunity to crawl on top of the cherub's tense body. His expression carried nothing but mischief while Katan's expression remained entirely conflicted.
"Why don't you touch me, Katan…?"
The experienced seraph was nothing but a tease as he pressed his body tightly against the cherub's to create a maddening friction between them.
"Make love to me, Katan."
His master's words were a blatant provocation – they were an obvious challenge to Katan who couldn't bring himself to take it. With the outmost respect, Katan's unsteady hands came to rest on the petite angel's hips. No matter how much the cherub willed his body to move, his body would not listen. Fine, Rosiel thought bitterly, if the cherub was going to be so prudish about sex, then Rosiel would have to find new ways to get even more creative.
With nimble fingers, Rosiel undid the buttons, buckles, and belts from Katan's black military coat. He ran his hands over Katan's clothed body before turning his attention to that hideous black tie. He loosened the cherub's tie slowly and removed the item completely. When he had discarded the unwanted item on the floor, he focused his attention on the buttons of the cherub's formal dress shirt. The movements were as slow and deliberate as the lingering touches that Katan could feel through the fabric of his shirt. Rosiel lifted his face to take a good look at the self-conscious cherub. The cherub's flushed face brought much amusement to Rosiel who flashed a devious, playful smile. He unfastened the cherub's white shirt completely and made Katan shrug off the garment. Why did Katan insist on dressing so formally with layers and layers of useless cloth?It didn't matter. Rosiel lifted the crewneck shirt under Katan's dress shirt to reveal the smooth chiseled planes of Katan's abdomen and chest. The seraph raked long nails against the cherub's uncharted skin possessively, eliciting surprised and uncomfortable reactions from his child. He looked at Katan's face with a victorious smirk. The cherub's cheeks were flushed a deep ruby-red color.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…
Rosiel couldn't help the laughter that escaped him. If his Katan felt uncomfortable now, then he felt really, truly sorry for him. They still had a long way to go, and teasing him was getting even more amusing by the second. He lifted his child's shirt a little more and he dipped his head a little lower to run his wet tongue against the exposed skin in front of him. He reveled in the sweet taste of Katan's smooth skin. Even his body had the same taste of innocence that his clean spirit possessed. The prospect of corruption had never been so tempting before. Rosiel took one of Katan's pert nipples and teased it with a gentle bite that carried a wave of pain. Only then was he able to draw out a louder gasp from the cherub. Rosiel hadn't realized when Katan's hands had come up to rest upon his slim shoulders until he felt a faint and desperate push against his delicate frame. No, he was not going to let Katan get away from this compromising position so easily. This was payback for disobeying him multiple times. This was Katan's punishment for trying to abandon him, and for letting others get too close to him. With all the boldness and sensuality that he possessed, Rosiel punished his disobedient child even further by unbuttoning the cherub's trousers and plunging a cool hand inside the cherub's boxer briefs to gently stroke the sleeping genitalia within.
Katan had never felt so mortified in his entire life. What the two of them were doing behind closed doors had been condemned on so many levels. And this type of sinful exchange weighed heavily upon his already troubled conscience. That was not something that he had wanted to experience. He didn't want to tarnish Rosiel's beauty in such despicable manner. Sex was not the only way to prove one's loyalty or love. That kind of distorted love was dangerous, yet Rosiel kept coaxing illicit reactions from his inexperienced body. Why did Rosiel have to insist that he prove his love and loyalty with his body?He had given something much more valuable to his lord. He didn't want this. It didn't feel right. It didn't feel proper. He really didn't want to do this, but it was something that Rosiel needed to overcome the insecurities that plagued him if only for a brief and fleeting moment. If these actions eased the pain in Rosiel's heart, then he would comply with Rosiel's request against his own wishes. Rosiel had created a body for him a long time ago. He had given him life when God had given him death. Back when he had been a lowly Grigor, Rosiel had given him both a body and a name. So in essence, Rosiel owned the cherub's body, and he was permitted to do with it whatever he pleased or desired.
But life was never so simple to begin with. He wanted to please his lord, but he didn't want to sink further into sin…yet Rosiel needed this affirmation so desperately it was almost painful. He wanted to help Rosiel whose soul was silently crying and screaming. He could feel Rosiel's heart…but could he really help? The heavy pressure of the situation, and the conflicting emotions that invaded him were slowly beginning to suffocate him. He felt like he was drowning in a vast abyss without any beacon of hope. His sense of righteousness, his innocence, his guilt, the sins he had committed thus far, and the strong sense of loyalty he felt towards Rosiel pecked at him like starving vultures. Something inside of him was flickering out like a worn-out candle, and then, as his world came crashing down, something within Katan just snapped. It was as if his consciousness and body had separated completely from each other. They were now two complete and independent entities. Katan had never experienced quite a feeling before. Pierre Janet called such condition dissociation. Sigmund Freud would only classify Depersonalization Disorder as a defensive mechanism under his theory of psychoanalysis. Whatever this dissociative disorder was, it didn't matter anymore. His mind was free to ponder the irony of the situation while his body was able to move mechanically out of its own accord to comply with Rosiel's demand.
Far, in the back of his mind, he could faintly hear his master's pleasured gasps and moans. Katan began to wonder why angels were able to fall in love or to feel pleasure. If God had forbidden his angels from ever loving another being, if God had prohibited intimacy between two angels, then why had God given them the ability to love? Why had God granted them the ability to respond to someone else's touch? Katan came to realize that corporeal forms were nothing but intricate and instinctual pieces of organic machinery. That had been the main reason why the creator had punished the Grigor race by turning them into incorruptible and simple, dull spirits. It was ironic how the Grigors had been set up as the sacrificial lambs to take the folly in order to hide the higher angels' corrupted ways. It was no one's fault that bodies could feel and have such honest reactions. A body that was able to be easily coaxed into a state of arousal so easily, without them being a willing participant to the exchange, placed them at the mercy of sin in accordance to God's laws.
God had given all his children the ability to feel love and lust. However, the act of love was something entirely more complex than the feelings of lust. Lust was something more straightforward, mechanical, and primal. It stemmed from simple desire or a reaction to someone's closeness. Conversely, love was something that came natural to living beings. It was an emotion that could also be fostered for the benefit of the entire universe. True love needed no reason and no compensation for its existence. Love was simply free and abundant like the stars in the firmament. All emotions were so complex, but Katan wondered where the divisive lines that separated the feelings of love and lust lay. After all, corporeal bodies were able to be dissected much more easily than a heart and a conscience. Surely this meant that the creator was mocking them from his throne on the tower of Etemenanki. From there, God could frown upon his flawed children and scowl impartially upon the actions of their sins.
In the meantime, while Katan's consciousness was far away, Rosiel was free to take advantage of the cherub's virgin body. It had been fun to slowly coax his cherub into a state of arousal –simple, gentle, and direct strokes. It was nothing more than simple mechanics, really. The body always responded to external stimuli regardless of whether it was desired or not. A body was always too honest and too eager to respond. But for that exchange to occur, the body also needed something of beauty to arouse it. No? Many others had been aroused and tempted by the power of his beguiling beauty. Many had whispered fake songs of wordy praise while touching his body. How many had desired his body over the centuries? How many had embraced him while spewing false words of praise? Oh, what flattering and deceitful praises had he heard from his lover's rotten mouths! They had often conjured sweet, phony lies to get his body as a trophy for their beds. Katan had been the only true exception.
But nothing mattered anymore. This was what compelled Rosiel to desire the cherub's body, the cherub's love, and the cherub's untainted soul even more. His destructive cravings to own the cherub stemmed entirely from Katan's honesty and purity. And Rosiel claimed perfect ownership of the cherub by leaving vicious marks of desire all over Katan's elegant body. With every fiery touch, with every sharp graze of his sharp nails against Katan's warm body, with every painful bite, and with every lick of his wet tongue, Rosiel irreverently praised his perfect creation's glorious body. He had in fact fashioned a beautiful child. Heaven's Inorganic Angel had created a stunning man with soft, glimmering hair much like his own. He had crafted a striking body worthy of heaven with soft, smooth skin over a lean, well-toned body. Such a perfect creation had been crafted out of love and wisdom, and Rosiel's body could only shiver uncontrollably from the pleasure of such knowledge.
The seraph released a pleased and shaky exhale followed by a deep and throaty moan. He trailed moist, teasing kisses down the cherub's stomach until he reached the joint between Katan's legs. The cherub was so handsome and well proportioned it pleased him completely. Rosiel bowed his head and kissed the cherub's erection with impudent veneration. The hot, rigid flesh twitched from the attention, and Rosiel couldn't help the desire that compelled him to explore the piece of flesh with his hands. Rosiel was being rather modest with his explorations. He had been much bolder with his other lovers, but Rosiel had decided to savor the cherub's body slowly. With satisfaction, the seraph licked the long and turgid member, savoring its salty taste. The magnetic pull of their bodies had never felt stronger, and Rosiel could not help the desire that ravaged him. Greedily, Rosiel encased the cherub's erection in his mouth in preparation for the final act. Katan's reactions summoned a smirk from Rosiel's lips. He could feel the cherub's erection twitching in his mouth with every teasing motion.
Ha, ha, ha…physical bodies were so easy to manipulate, so easy to provoke! When Katan's arousal had been lubricated with enough saliva to ease his way into Rosiel's tight passage, the Inorganic Angel pushed Katan's body further against the mattress. The cherub's pliable body complied without any resistance
…Poor, poor broken child…
The dexterous seraph climbed the cherub's body and positioned himself atop his creation's erection. There was a sweet and sensual moment where Katan's warm hands moved from Rosiel's thighs to the small of his back. Rosiel's sensitized body trembled slightly at the decadent touch. It felt so good to indulge in the pleasures of the flesh. With the cherub's strong, firm hands holding him steady in place, the seraph took the last steps to impale his small body against Katan's firm erection. Their union was fast and fierce. It was everything that Rosiel had desired and more. He finally owned his cherub completely. His beloved creation was his and only his. Their sexual intercourse was not a proof of love, but a proof of absolute ownership, and full ownership of someone had never felt so good, so entirely right. They moved against each other awkwardly at first, but soon they found the rhythm that had Rosiel voicing his pleasure with loud, unabashed cries.
The time they spent moving in tandem didn't matter, their rhythm was the same, up and down, up and down with slight variations to their frantic movements. Rosiel found himself lost in the rapture of their frenzied movements. He could feel his son's hot body filling him and making him complete. Rosiel had secretly waited long for this to happen between them. He felt the satisfaction of their union rise to dangerous levels with each and every one of the cherub's firm thrusts. And every time that Katan's erection would brush against that sensitive nub of bundled nerves located deep within his body, Rosiel could feel a fine, stimulating current that electrified his entire body.
The pent up energy inside Rosiel kept building up towards an aggressive climactic release. He kept pushing recklessly against Katan's body until he reached his long awaited climax. He had always loved that feeling of sexual release. The height of passion made Rosiel's body tense and tighten completely. Rosiel's legendary three wings spread majestically about the room filling it with white, lustrous feathers. Rosiel's wings also trembled lightly from the pleasure they had magnified. In turn, this allowed the seraph's body to clamp tighter around the cherub's erection, bringing him to his unexpected climax. Rosiel closed his golden eyes with complete satisfaction. Soon, warmth flooded the Inorganic Angel's belly and he collapsed tiredly against his young lover's body with a content exhale. The corruption of innocence had never felt so pleasurable to Rosiel. Out of all the beings that Rosiel had corrupted, Katan was the only one who had been worth his attention.
At one point, after their post coital release, Katan lay silently in bed with Rosiel curled against him. His master slept soundly beside him. Both bodies rested under the soft silken sheets. Katan could still feel Rosiel's luminous strands of hair sprawled about them like a second blanket. Whenever Rosiel shifted in his sleep, the cherub's body would stiffen involuntarily. Katan felt very, very weary. He hadn't felt like sleeping in that mechanical state he found himself in. He had been lost in the same state of self-induced trance that he had been during the time of their sexual intercourse. Katan didn't know what to expect anymore. He didn't know when Rosiel would change his mind and demand that Katan touch him once again. It was not until Rosiel shifted to his side, and a little farther away from the cherub, that he was able to merge his floating consciousness and body together once more. Then, Katan moved deftly away from the bed. He saw his master's sleeping form and his expression softened. He lifted the covers that had been thrown onto the floor and covered his master's peaceful sleeping body. The guilt that filled Katan was too overpowering to describe. As quietly as possible, Katan started to pick his discarded clothing off the carpeted floor. His boxer briefs, his dress socks, his slacks, and his polished shoes came first.
When he felt a little less vulnerable and naked, Katan went to pick up the remaining items of his military uniform. At what point in their passionate exchange had his lord ripped away his crewneck undershirt? So many details eluded the cherub. He looked at the torn, white shirt once more with wonder. The viciousness in which the poor shirt had been ripped apart surprised him. He placed the torn shirt atop a small square table that had been placed under an intricate mirror. Then, Katan picked the discarded dress shirt. He realized that he would have to wear it without an undershirt for the time being. When he stood straight to cover the nakedness of his upper body with the dress shirt, he noticed the marks that Rosiel had etched into his skin as a proof of ownership. The marks left on his skin by the seraph reflected on the mirror like a haunting sign of his transgression. Still, the memory of their consummation was hazy and elusive. He couldn't remember most of the things that had transpired between the two, yet the knowledge of what his master had requested from him still remained.
Suddenly, the marks that Rosiel had left on the skin of the cherub burned like molten fire. He felt a desperate desire to scrub his skin raw until no trace of the sin he had committed remained. The evidence of their union tormented him slowly. It made him restless. At one point, he opened the farthest window slightly to air out the musky scent of sex. He couldn't stand to see the signs that had been left scattered about the room. He picked Rosiel's discarded nightgown and folded it neatly. He placed the garment at the foot of the seraph's bed. Rosiel was right in front of him, and he couldn't help but to look at his master with a loving expression. Rosiel was resting so peacefully as if nothing had ever occurred. Katan wondered how his master could sleep so soundly while he remained wracked with all the guilt. Well, it was better if he carried the guilt for the both of them. His master's soul was already so troubled. He felt a desperate need to ask for forgiveness. He felt utterly guilty for what he had done. How could he ever face his lord after desecrating his holy body in such a shameful manner? Katan buttoned his shirt and fastened his tie quickly. Katan would have to clean the room himself. He pulled his coat on and buttoned it and buckled it properly. Having complied with his master's wishes, his next priority was now to clean Rosiel's room.
When he was done with all the cleaning, Katan stood before the balcony. Lord Rosiel was still sleeping soundly on the bed. Katan felt a little relieved and a tad bit grateful to see that his master was still sleeping. He wouldn't know how to act around his master after all that had happened between them. That was the main reason why Katan was grateful that his master remained in such a deep slumber. Later, Katan would be able to settle his restless mind. Later, Katan would be able to go about his life the way he would normally do. But for now, he needed time away from his master. The bodily wounds would heal much faster, but once he nursed his spiritual wounds back to health he would be alright.
He distracted himself by looking down from the balcony into the open space of the beautiful, majestic gardens. His bright grey eyes landed on the newly planted patch of white flowers that he had chosen as a part of Tiara's little grave.
…You promised, remember? That you wouldn't commit any more sins! That we'd go to the land of light together…
Unconsciously, his hand reached for the white ribbon that he kept safely in his pocket.
…I thought we were alike…so I figured things might work out…
He had no right to touch something so pure and so white anymore.
…But I knew all along…I knew you would choose him in the end …
He had betrayed Teiaiel's dreams and expectations. He had broken his promise to Teiaiel only to sink further into a sinful path from which he could not escape.
…Will I be able to meet God this time…?
…Hey, do you think there's really a god? I'm an angel…yet I've never seen him and…he never answers my calls…
His sins would never be cleansed. His only choice was to follow Lord Rosiel. He had accepted Rosiel's chip so that he could restore his broken body in order to protect his defenseless master. There were many angels in heaven that would try to use Rosiel in order to further their greedy and selfish agendas. But also, he didn't want Rosiel to be lonely. Rosiel was not the type of angel to take solitude well. If only he could see his master smile from the bottom of his heart, then all of his sacrifices would be well worth it.
Teiaiel, I am sorry…I wanted to fulfill our promise…
He placed the white ribbon back in his pocket, and then he excused himself from his master's bedroom. Later, he would bring Rosiel breakfast. He would leave the tray close to the bed, but first, he needed to take a shower. He would let the gentleness of the running water cleanse away his body. He would let the water remove all the traces of guilt that weighed heavily upon his mind, body, and soul.
The year's at the spring,
And day's at the morn;
Morning's at seven;
The hill-side's dew-pearled;
The lark's on the wing;
The snail's on the thorn;
God's in his Heaven -
All's right with the world!
Suddenly, Katan remembered a few lines of a poem he had read on Assiah. How ironic the similarities were between the poem and heaven's current state. But, Katan pondered with sadness, God was no longer in heaven, and nothing was right with the world. Corruption and chaos stained the entirety of heaven. Corruption threatened to consume everything good that God had created. Without God to rule the hierarchy of heaven, all the angels were left to fight like rabid dogs over the tiny fragments of power that had been scattered by the creator. Everything was being tainted by dark sins and deadly desires. God was no longer in Heaven, and just like Teiaiel, Katan had never met God. His prayers had never been answered. God had abandoned all of his children a long time ago.
The door closed slowly with a muffled sound. When Katan had reached the end of the vast hall, Rosiel opened his eyes. He had never really been asleep. He only pretended to be asleep for Katan's sake. After the powerful orgasm that had wracked his body, Rosiel's mind had cleared considerably. All the shadows of madness within Rosiel had been chased away for a moment. He had dared to look at the cherub's frozen body while pretending to be asleep. The cherub's body had been nothing but a living corpse. He had fulfilled his master's wishes at the cost of his own conscience. That was when Rosiel had come to the painful realization that he had broken down his cherub's gentle soul once more.
He had many hours of mental lucidity to realize what he had accomplished with his selfish request. He became aware of the taboos that he had broken since the deterioration of his mind. Worst of all, Rosiel had used his own son to break them. He had enjoyed each and every sin committed. He had forced an unwilling Katan to sin happily along with him. He had dragged his beloved child into the path of eternal damnation. He had spoiled the only thing of beauty that he had ever created with his own two hands.
If only Alexiel had killed him when he'd ask…if only Alexiel had kept her promise…Katan would have been able to remain his carefree, gentle self…
And deep down, Rosiel began to curse his twin sister Alexiel. He had warned his sister about the mental degeneration that he would eventually succumb to. But, his proud sister had not cared. And now, a part of Katan's soul had been broken beyond repair. Katan's face was no longer expressive. His silver eyes had become nothing more than empty jewels. Would his cherub wear that broken, expressionless, emotionless mask for all eternity? Perhaps, if Rosiel had told him how much he'd love him, Katan would not have suffered so much, and maybe, he would have been a more willing participant in the affair. Rosiel buried himself deep within the downy covers. Soon his sanity would be retreating. He wanted to apologize to Katan first, but it appeared that his sanity was slipping away from his reach once more.
…You are one of the very few pure angels who love humans from the heart…pure and gentle…you know no hatred or jealousy…when I look at you, I want to defile you sometimes…
Aha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha…
Rosiel laughed hysterically under the covers. He had finally fulfilled his threat to the cherub! He had finally defiled his lovely creation, and he had finally strengthened the shackles that bound them together as one. He had enjoyed corrupting his cherub's purity, and he would certainly do it again. Rosiel beamed with hysterical triumph, he would have another taste of his cherub's fit body because it was his possession. He owned Katan in every sense imaginable. He wanted to feel the warmth of Katan's body once more. It was like an antidote for his body, and even though he had tainted his cherub's chaste body with his wretched one, deep down, his child's soul still retained that blinding purity that he wanted so much to destroy. And he knew that one day he would break his toy completely.
From inside the coffin, Dobiel became a witness to Rosiel's gruesome nature. Rosiel was the cruel and despicable angel that Sevi had described. He was able to acknowledge that the third rank cherub was nothing more that a constant victim to Rosiel's cruelty. What a frightening monster Rosiel was. What powerful and deceitful being. Now that he had merged with Rosiel's psyche completely, he had access to everything that Rosiel had. He had access to all the atrocities that the Inorganic Angel had committed. Dobiel had access to all of Rosiel's vulnerable points. He could feel what he felt, and he could feel the new powers that coursed through his body. Those powers were amazing and terrifying at the same time. His senses had been sharpened beyond anything he had ever imagined. He would use his new abilities to become heaven's new God!
Dobiel was celebrating his temporary victory when the thirst for blood parched his throat. He couldn't breathe and he couldn't focus. He tried to think but could not. Something awful was overriding his brain. He was losing control of his own body. He was losing control of everything!
No, it couldn't be…this shouldn't be happening…God damn that impervious, insufferable monster…
And as Dobiel merged with Rosiel system completely, the Inorganic Angel's data began to override and corrupt his consciousness.
Rosiel is beautiful…Rosiel is beautiful…Long life for our beautiful angel Rosiel…
Dobiel was no longer Dobiel. He was becoming nothing more than an empty shell without a soul. As his consciousness fizzled out, he became nothing more than one of Rosiel's cheap, disposable puppets.
Lord Rosiel is beautiful…Lord Rosiel is beautiful…Lord Rosiel is beautiful …We only live to serve Lord Rosiel…Long live our beautiful Lord Rosiel…
Fin.
Thank you for reading this story!
List of Key Terms & Definitions:
Assiah- Earth.
Atziluth- This is the highest level of heaven.
Etemenanki- This is the tower where God sleeps.
Adam Kadamon/Seraphita- He is the last six winged angel created by god.
Great Seraphim- This title belongs to the supreme ruler of heaven.
Grigor- These angels are the lowest class of angels in heaven. Grigors are bodiless spirits that have little intelligence. However, Katan was a unique kind of Grigor because he was highly intelligent.
Dissociation/ Dissociative Disorder - Are terms that describes a lack of connection between things that are associated with each other.
Depersonalization Disorder - This is a condition where an individual may feel detached from his or her own body.
Pierre Janet (1859-1947) is credited with the concept of dissociation. He argued that dissociation was a byproduct of mental weakness.
Sigmund Freud (1856-1936) is considered the father of psychoanalysis. He argued that a person uses certain defense mechanisms to cope with psychological trauma.