Hello!
I admit to not uploading. I'm having writer's block on Losing Grip... But this was written before and so I decided to put up the Prolugue first... doesn't mean I'm going to continue it anytime soon though...
Sorry!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything and all that crap.
Prolugue
Once, before all this happened, I was happy and cheerful. Bubbly.
Once, I had laughed at every possible little thing that was cute, funny and nice. Once, I was a girl that had no care for the world. Once, I didn't mourn for my long lost parents. It was one thing, forgetting something. And it was another thing, putting aside something. I had put aside my parents because I never knew them. Why should I remember them when they clearly didn't want to do the same?
So I was happy. And content.
I knew about Mary-Sues. I know I must sound extremely like one this moment. I knew that when eveyone looked at me, that thought I was one. How could I not? I studied- and wrote fanfiction. I deliberately altered my own personality to match those annoying Mary-Sues. Why? I don't know, it seemed appropriate to me at that moment. I know that I can't change it now. But take a long look at me, and you'll see I'm not one.
There's something inside me that hates everyone. There's something inside me that wants to take a knife and stab him in the back continuously until he dies. Let him feel the torture he made me feel for so many times. Who is he? Oh, he's my boyfriend. He was my boyfriend anyways. Joseph LaBrie.
But part of me still likes him, still wants him to love me. Like he did before all this happened.
Confused? You should be.
Joe, Joseph LaBrie. He's a dream. He used to be everything I wanted, he was everything I could have killed for, or more. He was romantic, good-looking and he loved me. He seemed to at that time, anyways. Anyways, that was until that thing happened.
He was drunk that night, that wasn't an excuse. I had told him I wanted to wait until marriage right? But it was him I was talking about. I worshipped the ground that he walked on. It was impossible to resist him. I did everything I could to please him, to have him love me. Everything. I guess that was what made him suddenly change so much. He started taking me for granted. Everything that I did wrong was unacceptable.
He started from being a romantic guy to being a douchebag.
Even worse. He wasn't content from just mentally abusing me. Physically abusing me too, was the torture I talked about him making me feel.
I was only freshly 15, when it started. And still, I am 17 but I felt like more than 2 years has passed. Maybe it was only my desperation. It was a mistake when I decided to move in with him.
I seemed like a good idea, because I could save rent. I could split rent with him. The money that my parents, somewhere out there gave me, I could just spend them on something else. It seemed like a perfect idea, didn't it? Save money, and move in with the boy of my dreams.
Except he wasn't strictly a dream anymore. He was a nightmare.
And still now, no one could see that every smile of mine was faked. No one could see that this girl, would never cry.
Because Katherine was a happy, cheerful girl who had impossibly good acting abilities. She smiled at everyone in the corridor and she was pure girl who never flirted with people. She couldn't see, when boys tried to chat her up. She only responded with nice smiles and nods.
But no one knew who Kate was. The tiredness and fear, all the loneliness written clearly over her face when no one was there. All the pain and hurt from the way she held herself up. Her shoulders slacked from the desperation. Nobody knew Kate.
That was me. Two personalities.
I wanted to show everyone that I wasn't as strong as I seemed to be. But I didn't want to show them how weak I was. I was a lost case.
But I remember, before all this. That I was a happy cheerful girl, who didn't need to be acting all that...