B A Y O – B A Y O :

I've wanted to do this for ages. Really. I know I won't get many reviews for this, but I absolutely had to try it—and I had so much fun with it. xD I think Hitsugaya and Yuzu would make a cute couple. Cold and stoic captain paired with a cute house-wifey girl. I think this is the first HitsugayaxYuzu fiction. xD I'LL START A TREND!

I hope you like it!

Tea Party
(here's some for you, and here's some for me)
- hitsu xx yuzu -
crack!pairing

Bleach © Kubo Tite

He didn't know how he found himself in such an awkward predicament. A really awkward predicament.

He had just come over to gather information, exchange point of views, plan out strategies—you know, to prepare for the upcoming war that was going to decide the future of all the inhabitants of Karakura. No big deal, right? He had come unannounced, thinking that it really wouldn't bother the stupid strawberry; after all, he did it all the time. Barging into his office and using it as if it were his own room; he thought he'd just get back at him and treat this place like he did his office.

He was quick to realize, however, that he had made the stupidest mistake he had ever had the misfortune of making.

He had met most of his family. Ichigo's mother was dead, his father was a doctor, and his crazy younger sister was the one who bugged him to play soccer. He thought that was the end of it; one sibling was enough, wasn't it? Apparently not. He didn't know that the orange-haired substitute had another sister. And this sister was actually the one that took care of the needs of the house, such as cooking, cleaning, dusting, painting, and whatever the heck girls did when they didn't whack off Hollows or play soccer all day—this girl was like a little mother. She never left the house either, and cared for it when the rest of her family was out.

How did he know this, you ask?

"Here's your tea, Toushirou-kun! You said you like green tea, right?"

Mumbling small thanks, the young captain accepted the beverage and stared at the green liquid. This girl, for some reason, reminded him of Matsumoto and Inoue. Innocent, bubbly, ditzy, and generally happy—it was like she had no idea what sort of lunatics she shared her house with. As he stared at his tea with a skeptical expression on his usually stagnant face, he debated whether or not she shared the same cooking attributes as those two women. If so, he was a dead man. … Dead-er man.

"What's wrong?" she asked, noticing that he made no move to drink. "It's gonna get cold if you let it sit like that!"

The corner of his lip twitched. She took care of the freaking house, and probably cooked for everyone, too. It must have not been that bad; Ichigo and Karin were pretty healthy after all. But they're both crazy, he thought bitterly afterwards, still staring hard at the liquid as if it were going to spring out at him. He didn't even notice the steam that soaked his face in uncomfortable hot droplets, and the nice aroma that was emitting from the cup.

But then again, Inoue's cooking always did smell good… until his stomach said otherwise.

"Toushirou-kun?"

Why did they all have to be out grocery shopping on a Tuesday morning, of all mornings?!

"I'll drink it later," he finally sighed. He couldn't risk losing his stomach again, and he couldn't be mean to this girl; he had just met her, and she looked like the sensitive type. And Ichigo would slaughter him if he comes home to see his sister crying. "Thanks though. I'll just wait until your brother comes back—"

Subtle sniffing interrupted him, and he looked up to see that he managed to make the poor girl, indeed, begin tearing up. "Y-You don't like it, d-do you?" she whimpered, trying to sound tough and poorly failing. In fact, it just made her look even more pathetic.

Great, the captain mentally sighed as an expression of panic washed over his face. What was he supposed to do now? He just made the girl cry! I fail as a man, he decided as he uncomfortably scratched his cheek. "No, it's not that! I just…" he stumbled on words. What was he supposed to say? He's had bad experiences with green tea? He was the one who asked for it! Well, more like the girl insisted that she get him something, but still…

Ugh, he began to regret coming in his gigai. This girl didn't have much reiatsu—he should've just waited for him in Ichigo's room as a Shinigami.

She paused to stare at him with big brown eyes, sparkling from her glossy tears, intently. "You just…?" she pressed, hope in her voice.

He stared down, avoiding her gaze. There was something about her innocent housewife attributes that made her look somewhat irresistible—and, added with that adorable pout and stare fixed on him, made her all the more hard to not stare at like a dope. He didn't say anything more, but he lifted the edge of the cup to his lips, closed his eyes, and slowly took one small, insignificant sip. His eyes opened and he pulled away a little too sharply, staring at the drink.

It was surprisingly… delicious.

Hitsugaya Toushirou had just fallen in love.

Soon the rest of the tea had disappeared into his flat tummy, and he emitted a small sigh of utter relief, falling back along the foot of the couch with his eyes pleasantly closed. That was two hundred times better than he thought it would be; this girl was actually quite the tea-maker.

The girl had been staring at him all along. "Did you… like it, Toushirou-kun?"

Prying one teal eye open to stare at the girl, he straightened himself up and faked a coughed into his fist. "… It was good. Thank you…" he responded. "Uh, what was your name again?"

The girl beamed at him with the biggest smile she could muster, catching the captain by surprise and causing him to very lightly flush. "Yuzu! I'm Yuzu!" she exclaimed enthusiastically.

When the shock died down, he coughed again and turned away heatedly. "… Yuzu. Thanks," he repeated, crossing his arms. He sneaked a look at her, only to look away again as he faced her humongous smile. "Now can I…?"

Yuzu pouted again. "But Toushirou-kun! You haven't met Postaf!" she retorted, motioning to the very familiar dressed-up stuffed animal sitting in a chair to their side.

He bit back a sigh.

Remember his very awkward predicament?

"He says it's nice to meet you, Toushirou-kun!" Yuzu declared, smiling like she always did.

His dignity was on the line. With a sort of awkward gaze he stared at the girl, and then at the stupid plush—and finally he sighed. There was nobody else home—and this girl looked like she could keep a secret. "… It's nice to meet you too, Postaf…" he murmured quietly. Oh, boy. He could only feel the man drain from him.

Yuzu set her own cup of juice onto the small roundtable, which was decorated as far as lacy tablecloth and centerpiece. Pretty much all of her room was cute and lacy—like a real girl's room. "Thanks for coming over to have tea with us, Toushirou-kun," she said with genuine gratefulness. "I hope you can join us again!"

Hitsugaya had been looking away with an embarrassed flush on his tanned face, but he looked back when he saw her move. She crawled to the side of the table to plant a kiss on her plush, causing him to stare in surprise. She kissed her stuffed animals? He was about to question her childish antics as she meekly made her way over to him.

"Why do you—"

He blinked. Well, he wasn't expecting that.

"You get a special one for being our guest, Toushirou-kun!" Yuzu beamed unashamedly as she pulled away.

Hitsugaya's face was hot enough to melt ice as the girl scampered out of the room to wash their used dishes. His fingers trembled as they traced over the warm spot on his cheek that that girl's lips had just left, and he found himself blushing quite frustratingly. What was it with Ichigo's family? They were all insane!

"… You better not tell anyone about this, or I'll rip you to pieces," he threatened.

"… My lips are sealed…" was Kon's anxious response.

Hitsugaya sighed as he finally moved to clean up the table that they had used for their little event. He tossed the stupid lion plush to the side, ignoring his cry, and was quite annoyed to find that his face didn't lower in temperature.

Tea parties had never been his thing, but he wouldn't mind coming back to this one.

A/N: Oh boy, this was worth it. xD I had so much fun with this. I hope you all like it too. ;3 I know I made them both a little OOC, but I guess that's what you do with a crack pairing. xD

Hope you enjoyed, and review if you like!

- bayo – bayo, signing out!

P.S.: And for those who read my other Bleach story, Furareta, I'll update as soon as I can! I'm having trouble deciding what I should do next. ;3