a/n: So. Full disclaimer: the timeline of everything has always been a little confusing for me, no matter how many times I look it up and see how everything fits together. All I know for sure is that there are four years between the Kirkwall rebellion (9:37 Dragon) and the Conclave explosion (9:41 Dragon), but other than that, I basically make shit up as I go. Also, headcanon says Varric did have a nickname for Hawke, though he conveniently neglected to mention it to Cassandra while telling her his tale in DA2. (Of course he had a nickname for her; how could he not? Have you met the guy?) Because my Hawke is Sarcastic!Hawke - always with those cheerfully inappropriate comments - to me, she was Bubbles. Also also, I twisted some events to fit in with the story, and I changed some things entirely, in order to fit my headcanon. But hey, what else is fanfiction for!

I decided to try something a little different with this fic than my usual thing of posting whatever I happen to have written (which leads to incredibly varied periods between new chapters being tossed up). The entire thing is actually already finished (aside from minor ongoing edits), and I'm just going to post new chapters once a week or something. But! Feedback is always, always, always appreciated, and I might edit future chapters before posting them accordingly.

Anyway. All that said, enjoy the show. I've really enjoyed writing this, so I hope you enjoy reading it. c:

Summary: Varric writes to Hawke asking her to help out the Inquisition. He's hoping to help keep her mind off of what the past decade has done to her, even if she's hiding the damage well. While happy to help, it becomes apparent that Hawke is concealing some troubling memories that have haunted her for too long. Concerned, Varric enlists the assistance of an old "friend" to help Hawke see that - despite what her past might convince her of otherwise - she is not alone. From her first steps in Skyhold to her departure at Adamant, Spaces Between tells one possible story of the Champion's brief time with the Inquisition, and how Hawke learns to accept her painful past, let go of old scars, and finally say goodbye.

spacesbetween

o n e

Blessed are they who stand before
The corrupt and the wicked and do not falter.
Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just.
Benedictions 4:10

"You've been neglecting me, Varric," Hawke said as they ascended the stairs into Skyhold. "Nearly two months without a letter. Over a month of silence! Tsk."

Varric chuckled. "Well, you know how things get when someone decides to blow up a big important building."

Hawke rolled her eyes but smiled. "Ooh, very inappropriate, love. Surely there's a less-personal way to explain your silence; perhaps one that doesn't involve reminding me of the fact that I was present for the reason why the whole of Thedas has gone to shit in the past four years?"

"Oh, there are plenty," the dwarf agreed, "but I just wanted to draw that parallel."

Hawke chuckled lightly. "I know you did." They continued in silence for a moment before she sighed. "Varric, you know that I have enough to worry about already," she said bluntly. "I'd really prefer not to get involved."

"I know," Varric agreed with a slight smirk. She had already said that, or something very like it, four times since he had asked her to join him at Skyhold; yet here she was anyway. "But trust me," he assured her for the fourth time, "you can help them as much as they can help you. Just tell them what you know about Corypheus, and what Stroud's told you. The Inquisition will have the power to find out more. I know you've been concerned about the Wardens."

Hawke frowned slightly, and looked away when Varric looked up to her. "And?"

He laughed. "I'm not judging you, Bubbles."

"It sounds like you are."

"Hawke." Varric stopped them before they exited out onto the bridge, putting his hand on her arm. "Look, I know you're worried about him. If finding out what's going on with the Wardens will help put your mind at ease, I'm all for it."

She sighed. "I don't think my mind will truly be at ease until I know for sure where he went."

"Well," Varric said, giving her arm a little squeeze before dropping his hand, "this is a good starting point, isn't it?"

While she knew it was true, Hawke had always been hesitant to face anyone outside of Kirkwall. Those she had met since the Chantry incident had expressed little but disdain for her decisions and actions. It was impossible to explain the multitude of pressures that had been weighing on her during the months leading up to the collapse, and Hawke rarely tried to reason with anyone. However, it had made her avoid interpersonal contact for some time, and facing the Inquisition was an unwelcome turn of events.

"Just wait up here, all right?" Varric was telling her as they walked the ramparts. "I'll retrieve the Inquisitor, and you two can talk out of way."

"It's awfully open up here," she commented as he started down a flight of stairs. "You're sure I won't be accosted?"

"You are quite the celebrity," Varric told her with a slight smirk. "I'm sure everyone will be swarming you, asking for autographs."

"I wish that's all they asked for," Hawke muttered under her breath, earning a chuckle from the dwarf.

While she waited, Hawke admired the view. Situated in the mountains, away from any semblance of civilization, Skyhold was the type of place in which she thought she could stand living. Aside from the chatter of everyone moving about in the courtyard, it was quiet. There was no city noise, no city smells. Just fresh air, and a cool breeze. It reminded her of a small town in the mountains north of Kirkwall where she and Anders had spent a few weeks.

Hawke sighed, turning away from the sweeping view of the mountains. It had been just over three months now since Anders had left. And somehow, in the space between, so much had happened: her brief return to Kirkwall before Varric had been interrogated and taken away by the Seeker, the Conclave and its destruction, Corypheus making himself known again, and the Inquisition being reformed. It was quite a bit of history to happen in such a short time, but all she could think about was Anders. And that tore her apart inside.

Hawke refused to let anyone see, even Varric. Not that she worried about Anders: anyone who knew her could guess that. Of course she was worried. He was a Warden, a mage, was harboring a spirit of Justice twisted into Vengeance- not to mention how his actions in Kirkwall made him a prime target for just about everyone. At least when they were together, Hawke could do her best to keep him safe, happy, and - as much as she could - sane. Even then, she worried far too much about his well-being. So the worrying didn't get to her, because the worry itself was nothing new. What bothered her, what ate away at her mind, was the fact that she was, indeed, worrying. Constantly. Endlessly. There were so many things going on in the world; Anders should have been one of the last things on her mind.

But every day her fears grew more numerous. It started out simply: where had he gone? As the days passed, she began to wonder: was he still alive? Then she had met up with Stroud again, and heard about the trouble with the Orlesian Wardens; while she and Anders had avoided Orlais in their travels together, Hawke couldn't help but add to her worries: had he wandered too close to the Empire and got caught up in whatever was happening? When Varric wrote to her, told her than the supposed ancient magister that they had freed and killed was responsible for the chaos at the Conclave, it served to further Hawke's concerns about Anders: did Corypheus get to him? And then, he was a mage in the middle of a rebellion: did the Templars find him? Worse yet, she knew all about how the "voice in his head" affected him, the spirit that drove him to push Kirkwall - and, as a result, most of Thedas - into chaos; her deepest worry about him was one that had plagued her since she had learned the truth about him: had Justice - Vengeance - finally claimed him?

At the end of it all, through all of her overwhelming concerns about the man she had once loved so dearly, was pain. Pain that he betrayed her; pain that he lied to her; pain that he left her. And what hurt most of all was that she worried so ceaselessly, and Anders knew she did, but he had left her anyway.

But it was hard admitting that he left her. Even to Varric, Hawke had simply said that she and Anders had parted ways, and had ventured so far as to mention that she was worried about where he was. Saying out loud, however, the truth that he had abandoned her without warning was very difficult. She didn't like the sound of the words in her mind, and she doubted she would like them any more if said aloud.

"Hawke?" She glanced up at her name, grateful for the interruption of her increasingly darker thoughts. Varric was standing on the platform below her, waving her down. A blonde woman with sharp eyes, an elegant posture, and interestingly exciting haircut stood next to him. "This is Inquisitor Trevelyan. Alice, allow me to introduce the Champion of Kirkwall."

Hawke chuckled a little as she descended the stairs. "Though, admittedly, I don't use that name much anymore. Inquisitor. It's a pleasure to met you."

"So," Hawke began when she and Varric were alone once more on the battlements. "I suppose I can pop in and out of Skyhold when I'm not out in the field. It might be nice to see you once in a while."

"Just once in a while, hm?" Varric mused.

"Just once in a while," Hawke confirmed jokingly with a smirk. "While I'm here, however, is there anyone I should keep an eye out for? Any particularly loud opinions about the Chantry incident I should avoid? Maker knows I'm not trying to get into philosophical discussions about that madness."

"Surprisingly, no," Varric told her. "Almost everyone I've talked to has offered refreshingly neutral views on the matter."

"And I'm sure that has nothing to do with the author of the Champion's story being the one they were talking to," Hawke pointed out, nudging him slightly.

"Of course," Varric agreed with a chuckle. "Let's see. You… might actually want to avoid Cassandra. At least, for a while. I… might have lied to her and told her I didn't know where you were."

"You mentioned that."

"So. She might not be happy to see you."

"I bet."

"But if she ever calms down, I'm sure you'd get a kick out of meeting her. Then there's Sera; she likes to pull pranks on everyone," he continued, "so you should get along just fine with her."

Hawke laughed. "I can hardly wait to meet her."

"Just don't give her too many ideas. You'll only be here for a short time, but the rest of us have to put up with her for a while yet."

"I make no promises."

"Uh huh. Oh! And then you might want to talk to Cullen."

"Cullen?" Hawke asked, raising an eyebrow. "Why do I know that name..."

"He was Knight-Captain in Kirkwall?" Varric prompted.

"Oh!" Hawke gasped with a chuckle. "My, of course. Yes, I remember him now. He lacked a sense of humor, as I recall. Far too serious about the 'duty of templars'." She made a face. "He never smiled, hated mages…. No wonder he failed to make an impression."

Varric chuckled. "He's lightened up a bit since you last met," he assured her. "I'm sure it would be interesting for you two to meet again after the events of the past four years. Other than that, I can't think of anyone in particular you might want to watch out for. I'm sure everyone would be quite pleased to meet you, though."

"I would imagine so. After all, I am quite the celebrity," Hawke joked with a slight smirk.