The Pemberley estate was known as one of the largest and most well-managed in all of England. It contained vast acreage of forests, fields and lakes, all carefully paid for and tended to by its owner, Mr. David Nolan. But while Mr. Nolan could tell you the yields and size of the estate, it was his younger sister, Miss Emma Nolan, who was best able to describe its beauty.
For it was Miss Nolan who spent her mornings riding about the estate, enjoying forest, fields and lakes with no thought of commerce. Indeed, her thoughts while riding rarely strayed into anything so mundane. But what exactly the young woman pondered on those long and early mornings is best left to the imagination, as it was scandalous enough that her brother and sister-in-law allowed her to go out unaccompanied.
To be sure, Mrs Mary-Margaret Nolan thought it no strange thing, as she herself was particularly fond of walking and before marriage had often had occasion to wander the countryside near her family's home of Longbourn. It was just such a long walk that had helped spur David's heart toward the then Miss Bennet. Her sister-in-law understood the need for solitude and activity, especially when one was nursing a broken heart, and encouraged Emma on her daily rides. If Miss Nolan also wore trousers, pinned her braided hair back under a riding cap, and rode astride—well, her older brother need never know.
Given Nolan's attention to detail and status as master of the house, it was unlikely that he did not know of Emma's improper behavior. But as he had never chosen to censure her, she felt free to continue in her preferred manner, and in time, the long rides she took nearly every morning came to be regarded as routine.
It was in the middle of one such ride in late February that Emma exited the woods and came upon a man struggling with a high-spirited black Arabian. Her first thought was surprise at his presence on her family estate, her second thought was that he was a terrible horseman, her third that his hair, a rich black, and face, with short beard and high cheekbones, were most handsome.
Before she could make her presence known, the Arabian shimmied to the side and reared up, sending its rider into the mud. Free of its burden, the horse galloped towards the open fields where it was liable to get well and truly lost.
With a sigh, Emma spurred her mount, bounding past the surprised gentleman in pursuit of his horse. The Arabian was fast, but Emma's Thoroughbred was faster, and she had the advantage of familiarity. She caught up with the man's horse at the edge of the field. Despite being at a full gallop, Emma easily maneuvered the two animals close enough for her to grab the reins of the runaway horse. She eased them to a slower pace before turning and heading back to the edge of the woods and the strange gentleman who had invaded Pemberley.
"Bloody hell lad! That was bloody brilliant." The man shouted as he strode toward her on long legs.
Emma watched him, re-evaluating her assessment of him as a gentleman. He certainly did not sound like one, nor did he look the part. As it was, he was covered in mud, his hair a mess, and he had a wide, improper grin on his face. Nevertheless, as he drew near, she found herself assessing his countenance anew and found him not merely handsome but remarkably so.
The man continued to shout across the distance. "At a full gallop, no less. Graceful as a swan. Incredible!"
Emma felt as though she were the one in error for not responding and acknowledged the man and his praise.
"With great practice, sir. I often allow prize stallions the run of the grounds so that I might chase them down for sport."
The man threw his head back and laughed and Emma fought the smile tugging at her lips.
"Well, lad, you can handle my mount any day. I haven't the knack for horseflesh. My friend Sir Scarlett insisted I come shooting with him this year. I had hoped to practice before being forced to show everyone my incompetence, but Jolly here had other ideas."
The man drew close enough to take his horse's reins, though he made no move to remount, instead patting the horse with a smile and examining his tack as he continued to speak.
"I am Captain Killian Jones. May I know the name of the man that has saved my horse?"
Their improper introduction and his continued assumption that she was male bore less surprise for her than his name. The exploits of Captain Killian Jones were well known to her: a famous privateer and a known cad was always fodder for gossip, and gossip fodder he certainly was. Of equal surprise was that a respectable family like the Scarletts would entertain a man with such a questionable reputation. Certainly her brother would not knowingly permit on his estate a man she had heard him denounce as little better than a pirate.
While still assessing the consequences of such a meeting, at such an hour, and dressed such as she was, the man in question looked away from his horse and properly took her in. Under close scrutiny, her riding cap and clothing no longer hid her gender and his eyebrows rose in comprehension.
"My apologies. You are a woman."
Emma straightened in her saddle. "A woman and a lady. And quite unaccustomed to being addressed in such a manner."
"Pardon me, but I am unused to seeing a lady riding astride and in breeches. Though I do not object to such a practice."
"Really? Most members of society would disagree with you on that point."
"The objection of society to my actions and opinions is hardly a new occurrence. Indeed, it happens quite regularly."
"I am well aware," she replied archly.
"So you have heard of me?"
At this statement his eyes lit with amusement and a single eyebrow rose marking his pride in his reputation. Emma found this idea disconcerting and had no ready reply.
"You know so much about me, it seems only fair that I should know you. May I have your name?"
"You may not, as my brother would not approve and I think it doubtful we will ever meet in society."
She made to leave, but he called after her.
"Are those your only objections to my acquaintance?"
"Given adequate time, I am sure I could compile a list."
He laughed, seeming amused rather than shocked, charmed by her rather than appalled. It was a strange reaction and contrary to what Emma wished. Since Mr. Cassidy she had become quite adept at keeping men from forming any attachment or designs upon her and the chief weapon in her arsenal was her uncivil tongue. Unfortunately for her, it appeared the variety of conversation Captain Jones most enjoyed held a bounty of veiled insults.
"Well then, I shall endeavor to gain your brother's approval and to meet you in society so we might be properly introduced. Until such time I will call you Swan for your grace at full gallop."
Emma was unamused, this man was the embodiment of impertinence and the conversation had lasted too long.
"Do as you wish. But you will not find occasion to call me anything as I will not meet again."
"That would be a pity, Swan, as I think I might fancy you."
As though to summon as much impropriety as possible, he then had the gall to wink. Emma raised her reins to her chest and stiffened her spine drawing on the Nolan pride. She would not be taken in by such a man, not again.
"The Scarlet estate is five miles that way. In the future I suggest you pay better heed to both your mount and your location. Good day."
Without waiting for his response, she galloped away, leaving the Captain smiling and even more determined to properly make her acquaintance.
Were Miss Nolan an avid reader of novels or prone to flights of fancy, she might have found much in her encounter with the Captain to occupy her thoughts and imagination. But life was a strict schoolmaster, and Emma had learned her fair share of lessons, chief amongst them being that men with warm smiles and questionable reputations should be avoided. She was so committed to forgetting Captain Jones that she neglected to tell a single soul about his presence on the estate or her improper introduction. Though as it was, even if she were inclined to speak of the meeting, there was little opportunity to do so, as the entire house was in an uproar preparing for the yearly sojourn to London.
The Nolans were quite content in the country and the society it provided. But London was inescapable, its demands many, and with Easter approaching, they were pushing the limits of propriety by remaining in Pemberley any longer. The next morning, they set off at such an early hour that Emma was prevented a last farewell ride of the grounds. When from the carriage, she spied a black Arabian with a rider in a blue jacket riding across the fields, she found she did not regret the loss of exercise.
Most young ladies of Miss Nolan's age delighted in the opportunity to quit the country whenever the chance arose. For Emma, much of her previous enjoyment of the society and entertainment of London had subsided after her injudicious engagement and near elopement with Mr. Cassidy. At first, society left her feeling cold, full as she was of heartbreak for the love that she had been denied. Despite David's insistence that Cassidy did not love her, Emma was certain that Neal had felt deeply for her. She had come to doubt that certainty when she learned of his treatment of Mary-Margaret's sister.
That doubt had stirred her to thoughts uncommon in one so young and of such good fortune. She began to see society, particularly men, in a harsher light. Compliments and smiles no longer seemed genuine but rather calculated affectations meant to win her favor. She recognized that she was more prize than woman to the men she met at the balls and dinner parties of London and came to understand the mercenary nature of Mr. Cassidy's attentions and her own naiveté in thinking them genuine. In short, Emma Nolan became disenchanted with all social interactions that were not with family or those she already considered dear. When she discussed her realizations with her brother, he was in full agreement on the nature of society and the state of marriage. But he also reminded her that as a woman, she would need to find a husband and that she need not despair as he had found that with the right partner, there was much felicitation in the matrimonial state.
Emma could not argue the point, as David was indeed very happy—some would say too happy—with his wife. However, she held reservations that she would ever find a man she could love in the balls and parties of London and continued to be wary of any attempts to win her affections. So forceful were her honesty and impatience with artifice that potential suitors were often left nursing injured pride. In time, most men ceased to attempt to win her favor and rumors of her love of Sappho were whispered in sitting rooms throughout London.
The lack of interested gentlemen suited Emma but caused David a great deal of consternation. Mary-Margaret calmed his fears by reminding him that he had used similar tactics when he was a bachelor and that the man worthy of Emma would not find her honesty and independence a deterrent.
Given her reputation, Emma was surprised a week after their arrival in London to be approached and engaged in conversation at a dinner party by a Mr. Walsh. He was not unhandsome and though he was currently dependent on his Aunt Zelena for income he was to inherit a title and a sizeable fortune. All these considerations paled in Emma's estimation when compared with his recent travels. He had just returned from the former colonies, from whence he had, Emma assumed, gone in search of a bride, and was thus unaware of the challenge he had set himself in approaching the unassailable Miss Nolan. However, Emma's interest in his descriptions of Boston and the people he had met stayed her usual sharp tongue and Mr. Walsh was allowed to navigate the night unscathed.
As they traveled home that evening, David commented on Walsh, and Emma conceded that she would not object to furthering the acquaintance. She marked the look that passed between her brother and his wife but was unable to read it.
Emma was not infatuated with Mr. Walsh. He did not make her heart beat faster or her skin grow hot. Thoughts of their conversation did not occupy her mind late into the night nor did the memory of his face disrupt her sleep.
The next morning, she awoke at her usual early time and dressed in her riding habit. Accompanied by her chaperone, she led her mount to Hyde Park and the broad Rotten Row as she did every morning. Even in town, mounted on the more docile mare Marigold and riding sidesaddle, she found peace and comfort. Much of that peace resulted from the almost empty park and the lack of people to perform for with civil conversation or at the piano.
That morning, her peace was disrupted as she turned Marigold down a narrow lane and discovered a black Arabian ambling toward her, badly ridden by a man in a green coat.
As they drew closer, Emma felt a flicker of something she couldn't name. She wondered if the Captain would recognize her and if he did, how he would react. She both feared a reprisal of his familiarity and welcomed it after the stifling atmosphere of town. She glanced out the corner of her eye at her chaperone, the Widow Lucas. How would she react to his impertinence? The whirlwind of emotions was unwelcome and as she fixed her eyes on the road again, she found herself wishing she could rein in her thoughts as easily as she reined in her mare.
The result of her agitated state was the decision to stare resolutely forward as they passed, determining not to notice him at all though the width of the lane would bring them very near. However, at the last moment, her resolve wavered, and she flicked a glance at him. His face was as handsome as she remembered but his eyes seemed a much lighter blue, the effect, she assumed, of his green coat and them being focused solely on her. He did not lift his hat or even nod. Against herself, Emma felt her heart constrict at the lack of acknowledgment. She looked away only to find her eyes drawn to him again seconds later. He smiled and raised an eyebrow. His lips formed the word "Swan" but he did not speak. The effect on Emma was such that she looked away and refused to look back until she was at the end of the lane.
"Do you know that gentleman?" Her chaperone asked from her place beside her on a small pony. Emma startled. She had forgotten the woman's presence entirely. She was a kind old lady that everyone referred to as Granny. David had chosen the Widow Lucas for her loyalty to the family and her shrewdness in matters of the heart. For a moment, Emma contemplated telling her everything. But as she was unlikely to meet up with Captain Jones in the future, she replied in the negative.
When the two of them entered the park the next morning, he was there again. This time, however, he was not alone, but accompanied by Sir Robin, 3rd Earl of Locksley. They approached her almost immediately, leaving little doubt in Emma's mind that the meeting was accidental.
Locksley greeted her with a warm smile and a raise of his hat. "Miss Nolan! What a pleasant surprise. I thought only serious horsemen roamed the park at such an unfashionable hour."
She acknowledged his greeting but couldn't keep her eyes from flashing to Captain Jones and his satisfied smile.
"Ah! Let me introduce my friend, Captain Killian Jones. Captain Jones, this is Miss Emma Nolan, sister to David Nolan."
The Captain raised his hat gracefully. "Miss Nolan, a great honor. Your brother and Sir Robin speak very highly of you."
Emma raised her eyebrows in surprise, unsure of when Captain Jones had made David's acquaintance. She gave him a neutral smile.
"Captain Jones, I have heard so much about you."
"All to my benefit, I hope."
"Actually, no."
Had Emma been hoping her answer would save her from further conversation, she would have been disappointed, for Locksley smiled and Captain Jones looked determined.
"Well then, Miss Nolan, I must endeavor to change your opinion of me."
"You are welcome to try, Captain."
The words came out as more invitation than challenge. Emma cursed herself for her pert tongue. Sir Robin was of a mind to join her, and since they were friends, she would not deny him. The four of them turned down the wide avenue together. Emma rode next to Locksley while Granny was partnered with Captain Jones.
The talk was pleasant enough between them. An old friend of David's from Oxford, Locksley, his wife, and child had often visited Pemberley, and Emma enjoyed hearing news of them. As they came to a turn, however, Locksley called upon the Captain for an opinion and the Captain obliged by pulling his mount next to Emma placing her between them.
Emma cast quick glances at the Captain as the men debated the perfect distance for archery targets. Her mind was full of questions she was likely never to have answered. She also noticed that the Captain's horsemanship had improved in the month since their first meeting in Pemberly, though his Arabian was still too spirited for his untrained hand and his seat unsteady as a result.
Captain Jones noticed her apprising view and gave her a small smile, which she ignored. She focused her attention back on Locksley, whose passion for the subject at hand kept him ignorant of what transpired between his companions.
"You know, Robin, Mrs. Lucas was just telling me about her affinity for a particular type of crossbow."
"Really?"
Granny Lucas was not as inattentive as the Earl and she took the opportunity Captain Jones had created to divert his attention. Locksley dropped back to talk with Granny and Captain Jones gave her a smile that the older lady did not return. She knew how Miss Nolan treated impertinent gentlemen and she did not see the point in giving him false hope.
As Emma and the Captain drew ahead of their companions, he seized the opportunity to speak.
"Miss Nolan, I must confess that our meeting here was not accidental."
"Why, Captain Jones, you shock me."
A laugh rumbled in his throat. "Your tone conveys your emotion admirably, Miss Nolan. But perhaps you are not as shocked as I was to discover that my galloping Swan was a lady of such quality and renown."
"And fortune."
"Oh, I had not considered your fortune, only your excellent person."
"Really? A pirate uninterested in treasure?" She glanced at him with an arched brow.
His jaw clenched. "There are many types of treasure in this world and most of it is not stamped in metal or printed on paper."
She paused at this. His words were flirtatious but his tone serious. It was disconcerting. She straightened in her saddle.
"I am sure meeting me upon the grounds of my brother's estate left you quite perplexed as to my identity. I must congratulate you on your cunning in finding me out."
"True, your name was not a difficult riddle to answer, but surely gaining introductions to your brother and yourself in such a short period deserves some praise."
"And to what purpose would I give such praise?"
Emma spoke in a clipped tone and stopped her horse, whose pace she had been steadily increasing as they spoke. Captain Jones was unprepared for the maneuver and yanked his own reins hard, causing his horse to shy sideways and rear slightly. He looked mildly panicked for a moment but managed to regain control and force his horse back toward Emma, who was not concealing her smile.
"You shouldn't pull so hard," she offered.
He looked cross as he straightened his shoulders. "I was meant to ride the waves on the deck of a ship, not on a strip of leather atop a willful animal."
"Perhaps you should choose a less spirited animal? A pony might suit?"
"A pony would never do."
"A gentle mare then? She would be sure to never send you sailing to the ground."
"Swan, what would I do with a gentle mare? I would much rather a mount with spirit." He met her eyes. "I love a challenge."
Emma hardly knew what to say and was saved from answering by Locksley returning and taking the Captain away with him. Emma thought it not a moment too soon.
The next two mornings, though it pained her, she skipped her ride. Unlike Walsh, the Captain, his words and countenance, their barbed conversations, occupied her thoughts and disrupted her sleep. For those reasons alone, she thought it best to avoid any chance encounters. However the Captain was leaving nothing to chance.
The Nolans rarely attended large balls in London. Though Mary-Margaret loved to dance, the crush of bodies in the London assembly rooms was not to her taste and she was quite content to dance with her husband at small gatherings. Such parties were more akin to the ones she had grown up attending in Meryton and the surrounding neighborhood. But sometimes a ball invitation could not be avoided. So it was that two days after her first proper introduction to Captain Jones, Emma Nolan was found entering Almack's with her brother and Mary-Margaret.
They had just paid their respects to their hosts when Mr. Walsh made his presence known with an elaborate bow and a reminder that she had promised the first two dances to him. She had seen Mr. Walsh twice since their first meeting and while she was still left cold by any thoughts of a romantic attachment, she continued to enjoy his company. With a nod and a small smile, she agreed.
Mr. Walsh danced competently, though with no enthusiasm and little conversation. This was to Emma's benefit as during the second dance, she spied Captain Jones leading Lady Aurora to the floor and if she had been called upon to speak, she would have been unable to form a clear sentence. Captain Jones danced very well indeed; his feet moved with an ease and grace she had not expected from a man so ungraceful on horseback. He smiled warmly and chatted merrily with his partner. He did not seem to notice Emma amidst the crowd and the thought that he was not as aware of her as she was of him was, she was surprised to find, unpleasant.
At the conclusion of the dance, Walsh led a flushed and confused Emma back to Mary-Margaret and David and the men took their leave.
"Emma, are you alright?" The concern in Mary-Margaret's voice was touching. She took her role as sister and guardian seriously and Emma knew she cared deeply for her happiness. But how to tell her about Captain Jones amongst all these people? How to tell her that she feared her heart might be swept away by a man with a scandalous reputation?
"I am fine. Just flushed from the dance."
Mary-Margaret doubted the truth of her words but did not press her further. Shortly, the men returned and the subject was lost amid conversation about the ball. It was a conversation being had throughout the room but perhaps with less wit as the Nolans' humor was quick and pointed. Walsh did not catch all of the barbs being spoken but did manage enough that Emma did not despair of his intelligence. Presently, Mary-Margaret wished to dance again and Walsh did the honors of escorting her to the floor. David made a similar offer to Emma, but her answer was cut short by the arrival of Captain Jones.
The men greeted each other formally.
"Captain Jones I think you are acquainted with my sister?"
Emma's eyes flew to her brother and then to Captain Jones as he spoke.
"I am. I was hoping she would do me the honor of dancing the next?"
"Unfortunately she is engaged to dance with me at present."
Disappointment flashed across the Captain's face as David excused them and led her swiftly to the floor.
"I do not appreciate you answering in my stead," she whispered as they waited for their set.
"Emma." The low warning in David's voice made her bristle.
"Yes, dear brother?"
"Did you wish to dance with Captain Jones?"
Emma huffed. "It would have been rude to refuse him."
"That is not what I asked. Are you interested in furthering your acquaintance with him?"
Emma knew her brother was only concerned for her but the conversation was uncomfortable. "I assume Granny has already informed you of our meeting in Hyde Park?"
"She has."
"And did she think I acted inappropriately?"
"She thought that you were uncommonly engaged by his conversation."
Though Emma had long suspected it, the confirmation that Granny was her brother's spy rankled her.
"Perhaps you should ask the Widow Lucas if I wish to dance with him, then."
They were forced to remain silent as they took their turn. When they met again Emma could see her brother's angry stubbornness in the set of his jaw.
"Emma. Killian Jones is little better than a pirate."
"He has letters of marque from the crown, which makes him an agent of Britain, like Sir Francis Drake."
"That doesn't change the mercenary nature of his work. And were that not an objection, his character is indefensible. He makes love to every woman in the room."
"You have always been jealous of those more socially adept."
David shook his head, not put off by her teasing. "I have also discovered that he was embroiled in an affair with Mrs. Milah Gold. He spurned her, broke her heart, and she died shortly after."
Emma could scarcely believe her ears. The charge was so scandalous that if any but her brother had made it she would not have believed them. Immediately, she repented of her pride and anger at David's meddling. Her brother's concern was warranted and she knew she should bow to his judgement. Certainly, if she had listened to him concerning Neal Cassidy, she would have been spared a great deal of heartache. When she made no reply, David continued.
"I have no wish to control you, you must know that. But I must urge caution. He can not be trusted. I beseech you to guard your heart."
She nodded her assent. David gave a sigh of relief. They finished the dance in silence, then returned to Walsh and Mary-Margaret. Walsh excused himself under the auspice of a promise to engage in the gaming rooms.
As soon as he left, Captain Jones appeared, three cups of punch balanced in his white-gloved hands. The Nolans accepted the drinks. When David introduced him to Mary-Margaret, they exchanged pleasantries that turned quickly into witty banter that neither David nor Emma took part in. When a country air began, the Captain turned to Emma with a broad smile and petitioned her again for a dance. This time, she accepted, with a mind to impress upon him her disinterest in further association.
The two of them were silent as they swept onto the floor, her hand on his arm as he lead the way.
"Miss Nolan, I have not seen you riding the last few mornings. Have you been ill?"
"I have not."
"Then your decision not to ride was to avoid meeting me again?"
"If it was, then I have failed in my purpose, for here you are."
"Do you object to my company?"
Emma was taken aback. His bold question was such that she could only answer honestly, and she despaired the fact, for it was much easier to continue to banter. But the dance kept her from having to answer his question. When they were again waiting for their set, she said the first thing that came to mind.
"My brother calls you a pirate."
Captain Jones gave a short laugh. "I already promised to win over your brother. I do not wish to know his opinions, only yours."
"You are a man with a reputation for being careless with a woman's heart and I doubt your intentions, sir."
He stiffened and his jaw clenched. "As I have chosen not to judge you based on rumors and insinuations, I ask that you extend me the same courtesy. I have a past but I have never trifled with a woman's heart and I never will. Try something new, Miss Nolan, and trust me."
"I have trusted a man with my heart once before and he proved unfaithful." The words left her without warning. Her past with Cassidy was a great secret but in her agitation she had confided in him. He tipped his head and regarded her carefully.
"I am not that man."
They danced on, their hands meeting and parting, their eyes catching and holding but their lips no longer moving. Despite her brother's words, despite her own judgement, Emma wanted to believe him. Something in her heart told her that he was sincere and she sensed that under all his smiles, he was very much like her, lonely and heartbroken.
As the dance ended and he escorted her to her family, he made a final plea.
"Swan, I have not enjoyed the company of anyone, woman or man, as much as I enjoy yours. I will not court you. I ask only the chance to be your friend. I find I am in great need of a true friend."
She could not see his eyes, but the low urgency in his voice amidst the sounds of the laughter and the buzz of conversation pierced her heart, and she realized then that she wished for a friend as well.
She wished for someone that was not her guardian, someone she could have conversations with and laugh with and not worry about their intentions. Surely, if he sought only her friendship and she kept her heart well guarded against romantic notions, such a friendship could be possible.
"I will consider it."
He gave a nod. "I will ride the park every morning in the hopes of seeing you." He practically whispered as David and Mary-Margaret approached. After a few words about the dance, he bowed and took his leave.
Emma considered his offer of friendship for the rest of the evening and for several days thence. Each time she forced herself to smile in society, each time she caught the loving looks between her brother and his wife, each time she found herself with no one to talk to, she thought of his offer and each time it was more appealing. So it was that four days after Captain Jones offered his friendship, Emma arrived in the park accompanied by a groom instead of Granny. She rode for several minutes with no sign of Captain Jones and in that time she almost convinced herself that she had taken too long to decide and that he had given up on her acquaintance.
But then, with a rush of relief, she saw him trotting his horse toward her with a wide smile.
"Miss Nolan."
"Captain Jones."
"May I accompany you?"
"Yes. I would like that very much."
His mount pulled abreast of hers. Emma felt her spirits rise.
"I am so glad you are here, Miss Nolan, as I was hoping you could instruct me as to how to improve my riding?"
"Your riding?"
"Indeed, your advice the other day was most helpful."
It was not the topic she thought would begin their conversation, but she found she had a great deal to say on the subject. She knew much about horseflesh and riding but it was knowledge a lady was rarely called upon to use. Captain Jones listened attentively to all her suggestions for the riding and caring of his horse and before long they had completed the circuit of the park. Reluctant to go, Emma readily acquiesced to his suggestion that they make another circuit. On their second, Emma asked him to tell her of his favorite port of call and then listened with rapt attention to his description of the Spice Islands. When they finished their second circuit, they took their leave. Though they had not talked of the ball or the nature of their arrangement, Emma felt confident in her decision to meet him.
As the summer continued, Emma met with the Captain several times each week. Most days, they spent their ride telling stories or discussing whatever issues they stumbled upon, occasionally even indulging gossip about the happenings of society. Their horses set a slow pace but their tongues flew. True to his word, no words of a romantic nature passed between them, though it was impossible for him not to flirt occasionally and at times there was a look in his eye or a quirk of his eyebrow that was evidence of something more. But Emma refused to dwell on such things. Granny, however, pondered all she saw and heard as she chaperoned the two friends and read much in the Captain's manner that she did not share. As the weeks progressed Emma learned much of his character in those weeks and she began to doubt the story her brother had told her.
David made no comment about her rides and Emma wondered at Granny's reports. The possibility that the widow had decided not to divulge their meetings had not occurred to her and she was certain that David was not ignorant of her growing acquaintance. Her rides left her in pleasant temper and made her more amenable to the demands of London society. She was better able to listen and take part in discussions when she and Mary-Margaret made calls. She could easily spend the evening conversing with Mr. Walsh, who had long ceased to be amusing, when she could take his thoughts and opinions and dissect them later with Captain Jones. It was just such a conversation that lead to Jones finally voicing the question he had been pondering since seeing Emma dance with Mr. Walsh at the ball.
"Miss Nolan, as your friend, I can't help but notice how often you are in that gentleman's company. And as your friend I feel it my duty to ask if you fully understand his intentions."
Emma looked at him. "Mr. Walsh is a gentleman with land and a title. He has interesting opinions and we attend many of the same gatherings. There is nothing improper about our association."
Her reply was curt, her feelings stirred by the Captain's curiosity and his repeated mention of their friendship.
"I did not mean to imply impropriety. I only wished, as your friend, to save you pain."
"Your concern is noted, sir. But as you well know, I already have a protective older brother."
"A brother who has already failed once to properly protect you."
Emma's heart beat faster and she pulled her horse to a stop. She felt acutely the slander on her brother "David loves me and wants only what is best for me."
He scoffed. "He indulges you and leaves you open to the schemes of unscrupulous men."
"Men like you?"
He flinched, his own anger ignited by her assessment.
"To you I may never be more than a pirate, but I am always a gentleman. I have not lied to you or misrepresented myself. I have not toyed with your heart nor sought a union with you for selfish gain. The same cannot be said for Mr. Walsh or Mr. Booth or Mr. Cassidy."
They had been leaning into each other, their voices low and angry, but at Neal's name Emma drew back as if slapped. That Captain Jones so obviously wanted no romantic connection with her stung but it paled in comparison with his knowledge of Neal. She shuddered to think what he had been told and how it might have sunk her in his estimation. Rather than give into her feelings of shame and embarrassment, she straightened her spine and looked at him coldly.
"And these are the words of a gentleman? Your hypocrisy is almost comical, sir. Tell me, do you consider yourself a gentleman when you flirt outrageously with every woman you encounter? Were you being a gentleman when you pursued a married woman?" His eyes flashed. Recklessly, Emma continued. "If my brother has erred in his guardianship, it has been in allowing me to continue my acquaintance with you. A lapse in judgment that I shall correct immediately. Good day to you."
Then, without a second look, she spurred her horse and careened away at a dangerous pace.
The agitation caused by this conversation and the sundering of her friendship with Captain Jones cast a gloom over Emma for several days. Though she did her best to conceal her tumult, both David and Mary-Margaret grew concerned. It was not just the sudden absence of her morning ride—her quiet demeanor during meals and her increasing objections to social engagements made it clear that something was wrong. When each approached her, each was rebuffed and assured that everything was fine. They were left to wonder just what had occurred; when they petitioned Granny for information, the widow kept her own counsel on the matter.
London held no amusement for Emma. Mr. Walsh continued his attentions, and Emma continued to accept them in a perverse determination to scorn the Captain's advice, but she had no true pleasure in his conversation. When her anger abated after several weeks, she came to realize that wounded pride was to blame for her reaction and she regretted her words. She began to wish for a chance meeting so she might have the opportunity to ask forgiveness. She began to ride the park each morning but no black Arabian appeared. Such was her desire to see him again that she even fancied that he was at the end of the street one afternoon as she was returning from making calls with Mary-Margaret. But she pushed the notion away as they pulled to a stop in front of their home, reminding herself that he would have no reason to call in this part of town.
Her time in London grew short, and with it, her hope of seeing Captain Jones again.
One evening, before the Nolans departed for Pemberley, Mr. Walsh requested a personal audience with Miss Nolan. She politely declined, informing him that there was nothing he could say in private that she wished to hear. The anger that flashed in his eyes and the abrupt way he left her ensured she did not regret her decision. Not that she was of a mind to accept him or any man when her heart was still full of another.
Pemberley was not much altered in the months they had been away. All the same, Emma enjoyed getting reacquainted with it and found its familiarity soothing, though her joy was tempered by her mind's steadfast refusal to fix on anything other than Captain Jones. Their conversations, their jokes, their single dance, and their last, disastrous meeting replayed themselves over and over, and she found herself torn between anger toward herself and grief over the company she had thrown away.
Her melancholy for the Captain stayed with her through the end of the summer and endured long after the leaves had fallen from the trees. She had thought she understood heartache before, but soon she realized how shallow her feelings for Mr. Cassidy had been. They were the vain imaginings of a schoolgirl compared to the developed sensibilities of a grown woman. Her one consolation was the thought that David would never have approved of the match, even if the Captain had ever considered her as something more than a friend.
Her brother and sister-in-law watched all of this with concern. Many afternoons passed with private conversations on how they might help. When Granny was again petitioned, she told all that she knew, and though David was angry for her concealment he felt at once that he knew how to help his sister. He asked Mary-Margaret her opinion and she readily consented to his plan.
One morning in early winter, Emma was lost in a particularly difficult piano piece when David sought her out. In days past, he'd spend many afternoons in the music room with her, visits which had decreased in length and frequency as a married man, but which she had never begrudged him. She had not noticed his presence until the final notes were played and he began to clap. She started.
"I did not hear you enter."
He gave her a kind smile. "You play that very well. Is it a new piece?"
She nodded. "Yes."
"It is very somber."
Emma turned back to the piano and began to gather her music, unwilling to discuss why she felt more comfortable playing in a minor key. When she turned back her brother's eyes were measuring her thoughtfully.
"Emma, I do not wish to pry, but I have noticed your low spirits and I believe I know the cause and the remedy."
He spoke steadily and she knew he had prepared these words in advance, thought through them carefully before approaching her. His concern touched her but the topic made her wary.
"David, what ails me is not something you can fix."
"You are in love with Captain Killian Jones."
Emma stared, her shock preventing her from denying his words. He took her silence as an affirmation.
"You need not fear my disapproval, Emma. If you wish to marry, I will consent."
Emma could not be more astonished. "I thought you considered him a pirate, of low character and that I should not encourage his affections?"
"I was wrong. Captain Jones is a man of honor. He saved my life and I believe he is willing to do anything to ensure your happiness."
"You astonish me. For how long have your opinions been so altered?"
"Since before we left London."
"And why have you not told me this before?"
"Because Granny has only recently told me of your meeting him to ride and because I gave my word to him. But I see now that was a mistake." David crossed and sat next to her on the piano bench. He took her hands and squeezed them gently before beginning his story. "When we were in town, Lord Pan maligned your character crudely and in front of me. It seems someone had told him of your affair with Cassidy and I had no choice but to challenge him to a duel. Captain Jones was present when the challenge was made and volunteered to be my second. He also warned me of Pan's penchant for poisoning his blade and cheating. Without his assistance, I may have died in that duel. From that moment I considered him a true friend."
Emma knew not how to respond to such information and David did not wait for her to gather her wits.
"The week before we left London, Captain Jones came to the house and informed me that Mr. Walsh had lost almost the entirety of his fortune in gambling and that his pursuit of you was purely mercenary. Before I could tell him that I believed you to be indifferent to the man, he told me he was prepared to pay all of Walsh's debts upon your engagement even if it meant using his ship as collateral. I refused the offer and asked him why he did not offer to marry you himself."
Emma sucked in a breath, astonished at her brothers boldness but eager to hear the Captain's answer.
"He told me that you had made your feelings quite clear and he had no hope of winning your heart."
Emma's heart groaned under the weight of delight and despair. That the Captain cared so deeply while also being so sure that she was indifferent was unbearable.
"I took him at his word as I saw no reason why you would care for him. But I have come to believe that he was mistaken in his judgment and that you are in fact in love with him."
She nodded. "I think I am. But there were things I said to him, David, for which he can never forgive me. My behavior—"
David squeezed her hand with understanding. "I was once in a position very similar to yours. I was convinced that Mary-Margaret would despise me forever for the things I wrote and said. I was wrong then and you are wrong now." David reached into his breast pocket, produced a letter and offered it to her. It had no direction, only her name etched in a flowing script. With trembling hands, she took it. She did not know what Captain Jones' handwriting looked like but that did stop her from being sure the letter was from him.
"Read it here." David instructed and then left the room.
Emma sat rooted to the piano bench, staring at the paper in her hand for several long minutes before she turned it over and broke the seal. The flowing script filled up the page and eagerly Emma began to read.
Swan,
I fear that your brother is mistaken and that this letter will give you more pain than pleasure. However he has taught me to hope and in hope I write as he has bid me.
When last we met, you laid two charges at my feet. First that of being an incorrigible flirt. I do not deny this accusation. My manners are too easy and familiar with the fairer sex. My only defense is that I never flirt where I believe the lady to be truly attached to me.
The second was that I pursued a married woman. There are some elements of truth to this accusation and I wish for you to know the full story of my association with Milah Gold. My pen trembles to write this. I may fall further in your esteem by relating my history, but I want you to know all of me, just as I wish to know all of you.
When I was but seventeen and visiting my brother, I met and fell in love with Milah. She was beautiful, intelligent, quick witted, and miraculously, loved me in return. I was in no position to take on a wife, but about to receive my commission and confident that I would be prosperous. So confident that I asked for her hand. She accepted, but we dared not ask her father for fear of his disapproval. For how could he approval of a penniless midshipman? When I returned with rank and money, it would be easier, so we waited. I went to sea and war and we wrote letters. Eventually, her father intercepted one and put an end to the entire affair. He went so far as to convince her that I had died at sea. Then, while she was heartbroken, he gave her in marriage to Mr. Gold. Lord Pan's eldest son was in need of an heir and Milah was young and healthy. She was miserable in her marriage, and when I returned from war, alive, prosperous, and still very much in love with her, she begged me to run away with her to America.
My dearest Emma, I knew all the reasons why I should refuse her, but my heart would not allow me. I couldn't let the woman I loved live in misery when it was in my power to save her. We made plans to escape. But before we could sail, her husband discovered the plan and confined her and banished me from her pressence.
I never saw her again, and she died shortly after our separation. I was deeply affected. I blamed Gold for killing her. Heartbroken and full of rage, I resigned my commission and became a privateer, intent on never setting foot on English soil until I was rich enough to make Gold pay for what he had done. I spent years at sea, shoring up my resources, but Gold died before I could get my revenge and I was left with an empty heart. I thought all tender feelings lost to me. I did not think myself capable of letting her go until I met you.
I must confess that from the moment you refused to give me your name, I began to love you. I came to London with the object of making your acquaintance. I took riding lessons so that I might have an excuse to be near you. I was not honest when I claimed that I only wanted to be your friend. I want much more but I was willing to temper my desires in order to be near you. If I can call you nothing but "my friend," I will be satisfied, but you must know that I wish most ardently to call you "my dearest" and never be parted from your side.
For this purpose and on your brother's invitation I have come to Pemberley. One word from you and I will depart and be silenced on the subject forever. But if your heart could see a way to accepting me, I would spend all my days proving the depth and strength of my love. I await your decision in the place where we met and you first took root in my heart.
Yours faithfully,
Killian Jones
As she read his letter, Emma did not know what to feel, though she paused often to consult her heart. His history with Mrs. Gold was of particular interest and it conveyed both pain and pleasure. His confession of attachment and desire to be with her drew a cry from her lips and brought a tear to her eye. But it was the knowledge that he was waiting for her that brought her springing from her bench. Her brother and sister-in-law had taken great liberties, but Emma could not find it in her heart to condemn them when their actions had brought on such an overflow of felicitation.
That Captain Jones was at Pemberley, awaiting her in the very spot she had ridden past almost daily in quiet reflection, seemed to be a dream and she worried if she did not act quickly, she would wake and it would evaporate in the morning mist. She hurried toward the stables. She did not wish to change into a proper riding habit and she despaired at the time it would take to make her horse ready. But when she exited the great house she discovered David and Mary-Margaret waiting for her. They stood beside the hitched curricle with large smiles. Emma flushed, embarrassed at her predictability even as she was grateful for their foresight.
She expressed her gratitude in warm terms embracing them both. In turn, they assured her that they knew how misunderstandings could upset the course of love. With a smile, she turned to climb into the curricle and then hesitated.
"I don't know what I will say," she murmured as fear suddenly seized her.
"Speak from your heart," Mary-Margaret replied.
They embraced again and David handed her into the carriage and the groom handed her the reins. Then, with a snap, she set off at a brisk pace with no thought to her lack of bonnet or coat.
Despite the season, the sun was bright and the weather not unpleasant. The distance to the woods passed quickly and soon the place she sought came into view. Emma's eyes searched for the figure of Captain Jones and disappointment bloomed when she found no sign of him. She was in the spot where his horse had thrown him all those months ago but he was not there.
Confusion and disappointment warring within her, she sat and wondered where he might be and if his affections had somehow altered. Before her feeling could turn to despair or betrayal, she heard a voice calling.
"Swan!"
She turned and gave a sigh when she saw him still some distance away. His pants were grass stained and his hair disheveled but he smiled and waved. She urged her horse forward and was soon drawing next to him. She alighted the carriage. They stood in silence. Their eyes roved and they smiled in the rapture felt only by those in love and at the end of a long separation. At length he spoke.
"My apologies, Miss Nolan, I was delayed. My horse is still ungovernable and saw fit to deposit me in a field while he explored the grounds alone. As you see, I was forced to proceed on foot."
Her laugh was full and clear as all doubt washed away in his presence. "Are you perhaps reconsidering your love of being challenged?"
"Never." He spoke low and stepped closer. Emma smiled and that was all the encouragement the Captain needed to unburden his heart. Miss Nolan answered him with a touch of her lips to his and then opened her own heart to him. The conversation was long and full of such sentiments only spoken between lovers. At its conclusion they had reached an understanding that brought joy to the hearts of both.
That joy was soon shared with David and Mary-Margaret, and much later, with the Captain's brother and all those of their acquaintance. But in this moment it was just the two lovers, not quite as young as they had once been nor as unmarred by life, but happier than both had ever thought possible when first their hearts had broken.
-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-
Authors Note: So this is the only way that putting Captain Swan into Jane Austen works for me! I sure hope it worked for you too!