Sleeping With the Enemy

Authors's Note: So I spent the entire weekend memorizing endless mechanisms for my midterm tomorrow, and guess what? I'm tired. I had to get my brain out of there, so I wrote this. Just to be clear, this is inspired by that hilarious bathroom scene with L&C in S4E2's Gone. Enjoy!

"And that's Lane, seven, Kent…zero."

After being dragged outside to play a friendly game of football, Clark looked up at the clouds and realized that in a matter of minutes, it would soon start pouring. The sky was shaded a dark-gray hue and the clouds were low enough for one to think that they can actually touch it. He brought his head down and found Lois wiping the sweat on her forehead with her arm. It was time for them to go back inside.

"Fine, Lois. You win. Now let's go back inside before it starts raining."

Lois' eyes narrowed as she watched Clark put his sweater back on. Sure, it was going to start raining, but who said that the game had to stop?

"What are you, a ten-year old? Haven't you ever played football in the rain?" she complained.

"Well yeah, but—"

"Enough with the excuses, Smallville. You should be thankful I'm giving you an opportunity to catch up to me. But don't worry, I won't go easy on you," she threatened.

Frustrated, Clark removed his recently-worn sweater and tossed it in a corner. He was mad that he couldn't really play rough with Lois since his father warned him about using his powers during a game. As a matter of fact, he would've beaten Lois mercilessly had he been playing while utilizing his powers. It just wasn't fair in all levels.

He followed Lois out into the field as they resumed their little football game. Couple of minutes later, without any surprise to the two, it started pouring—hard. Lois and Clark ran around slipping and sliding all over the wet soil, eager to score the most points and win the game.

"How did you ever become the star quarterback playing like that?" Lois asked as she walked up the steps and sauntered in to the farmhouse.

"Oh come on, it was neck and neck! If it didn't get so dark outside, I could've still caught up," he said, trying to defend himself as he closed the door behind him. The two of them were covered in soaked clothes and mud.

"Smallville, I've played football, baseball, basketball and soccer with my dad's men, and those were galaxies tougher than this. Playing with you is like playing with…a kitten."

If you only know what I'm capable of, he thought to himself as he got distracted by whatever it was Lois was doing.

"Hey! What are you—why are you undressing?" his eyes widened as he turned his head around the other way.

"Relax, I'm just taking off my sweater and this long sleeve shirt," she said, revealing her in a lace camisole. "Nothing rated above PG for you."

He nodded his head quickly, relieved that Lois didn't do what he thought she was going to do. As they stood there at the bottom of the stairs, he soon realized that they left a trail of muddy footsteps from the patio all the way inside the house. Good thing Jonathan took Martha out to town to celebrate their wedding anniversary, or else they would've been furious if they saw the mess they created.

"Well, I am off to take a long shower. Make sure you clean this up, Clark," she pointed to the muddy floor then raced up the stairs.

"Are you kid—Lois!" Clark yelled out, making Lois stop in the middle of the steps.

"Um, you're not expecting me to clean that up, are you? Times have changed, Smallville. Men do house chores too. Besides, you're not going to do anything else anyway."

"I don't think that—"

She tossed her wet clothes towards him. "And while you're at it, can you put those in the laundry basket, pretty please?"

That's it. I've had enough of this, Clark thought angrily as he threw the clothes back to Lois. Fortunately, it hit her in the head.

"No, I'm afraid you have to do that yourself," he said with a grin on his face.

Without a word, Lois picked up the clothes on the stairs and Clark began removing his sweater and his muddy blue shirt. Prepared for the incoming attack, he threw his clothes at her the same time she released hers. They were both able to dodge them. While Clark picked up the clothes off the floor for another attack, Lois quietly ran up the stairs and locked the bathroom door behind her.

Realizing that Lois managed to escape and was out of plain sight, Clark dropped the clothes to the floor and frowned at the larger mess they created.

"There is no way I am cleaning this by myself," he told himself as he patiently waited for Lois to finish taking a shower.

Looking at the time, Clark realized that the rain still hasn't stopped. It was pouring violently, and he began to worry if his parents were stuck somewhere in the middle of the road. It was already 8:30pm, and much to his dismay, Lois still wasn't done taking a shower after an hour had passed.

The cordless phone rang in the kitchen as Clark picked it up.

"Mom?"

"Clark, are you and Lois okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine. Lois is having another one of her marathon showers upstairs. Are you and Dad alright?"

He heard static on the other line and became more worried.

"Mom?"

"Ye—tsshh—I'm here, son. I'm afraid—tsshh—father and I are just going to—tsshh— in a hotel here in—tsshh—tonight. It's pouring hard." The static was growing worse.

"Okay, Mom."

"We'll be back first—tsshh—in the morning. There are—tsshh—some left—tsshh—in the fridge. You two take—tsshh—."

"Take care," he answered back and hung up.

As soon as Lois got out of the bathroom, Clark immediately ran upstairs and took a shower. He didn't blame Lois for taking so long; removing the mud from his body did take some effort. He did, however, blame her for forcing them to play in the rain. They should've just gone in like he'd told her to.

I hope she sees the mess downstairs and starts cleaning it up, he smiled to himself as he washed his hair. He wanted Lois to realize that he wasn't going to do it, and she would have to clean it up herself. Her days of bossing him around were over—well for tonight, anyway. His parents didn't have to know.

As he reached for the towel hanging in the corner, Lois came inside with a brush on her hand.

"Lois! A little privacy, please?"

She shook her head at him, completely ignoring the statement he just said. Clark could be so naïve sometimes.

He peeked through the shower curtain and found Lois brushing her hair. What bothered him even more was that she was wearing his red flannel—again. The last time she wore his clothes, Martha found them inside the bathroom together and was reprimanded for their actions. At least his parents weren't home tonight; he wouldn't have to go through that embarrassing moment twice.

"If you think I'm going to clean up that mess you left downstairs Smallville, well you're obviously mistaken," she brushed her golden locks and sighed.

He wrapped himself with the red towel and got out of the tub. He then realized that his shirt was gone because Lois was wearing it.

"Do you ever ask if you need to borrow something?"

"It was sitting right there on the hook, Clark. I forgot to bring my dry set of clothes since I was trying to get away from someone here, thank you," she pleaded.

"You started i—"

A violent sound of thunder broke out of nowhere, complete with a matching set of lightning. Lois shrieked in horror and grabbed on to the closest thing next to her for comfort.

All of a sudden, the bathroom lights went out and the two of them were left in the darkness. Couple more growls of thunder followed and that's when Clark realized that someone—he didn't need to know who it was—was holding on to him for dear life.

Frightened, Lois absent-mindedly wrapped her arms around Clark and buried her head in his wet chiseled chest. Ever since she was young, she hated the sound of thunder and lightning so she would hide under the covers until she felt the coast was clear. This night wasn't any different, except for the fact that she was clinging on to Clark like she hadn't seen him in years.

"Um, Lois…" Their position was awkward enough for words.

Lois felt a cold tingle in her arm as Clark caressed it, wondering if she was okay. It was embarrassing enough to admit that she was afraid of thunder and lightning, but it was even more embarrassing once she realized that she grabbed on to Clark for refuge.

She opened her eyes and moved her head out of his chest and recognized the fact that it was pitch black. Her cheeks were red from humiliation, but she was glad Clark couldn't see her in the darkness. She slowly removed her hands away from him.

"Oh, sorry. Guess the thunder freaked me out a little."

"A little? Lois you were holding on to me as if your life depended on it," he teased her.

"Well I—I'm sorry! I just hate the sound of thunder. And the lightning doesn't help either."

Realizing that the lights would be gone for a little while, Clark began to move and felt around the area for the door knob. Instead, he felt something else—it was soft, real soft.

"Smallville, what the hell! Trying to cop a feel during a time like this?" Lois screamed, the loudest he had ever heard her speak. She slapped him, but didn't know which body part she hit.

"Wha—I was trying to find the door—" he stammered.

"Yeah, sure you were. Didn't your parents ever teach you some manners?"

Lois found the door knob and opened the bathroom door. Everything around them was dark, and she had no idea where the nearest flashlight was.

She took a step out the door and immediately slipped on something wet—presumably the mud that they both neglected to clean up. Thankfully, Clark caught her by the waist and prevented her fall.

"Are you alright?" he asked, carrying her with his muscular arms.

"Ugh, I told you to clean up this mess," she scolded him.

"Just say thank you, Lois."

As soon as he released Lois from his cradle, the towel that was wrapped around Clark's waist fell to the floor. His eyes widened from horror, hoping Lois didn't realize what just happened.

"Lead the way, Smallville."

"Uh—" he stood there frozen.

"You do keep some type of flashlight in your room, don't you? Come on, get to it!"

"Yeah actually—"

He moved his feet around trying to find the towel that was wrapped around his body. As soon as he jumped down to get it, it was gone. Someone else picked it up, and he knew that he was in deep trouble.

"Stupid towel," she let out. "Okay, let's go."

"Lois—"

"What now, Clark? We can't stay in this hallway forever. I have to get dressed!"

Yeah, so do I, he thought to himself. He deliberated whether he should super-speed back into his room, change, and grab his flashlight. There was no way he was going to tell Lois that he was, well, wearing his birthday suit.

"Clark? Clark?" She asked in complete silence.

Another round of thunder came rolling out, which startled Lois much more this time than before. She quickly jumped up and turned to Clark, but—

"He-hey, Lois! It's alright, I'm here," he said, grabbing her shoulders, stopping her before she got close to him. He didn't want for her to hug him bare naked. She'd think something else of it again, he was sure of it.

He then took Lois' hands and brought her with him to his bedroom. He sat her down on the bed, and slowly released her hand from his. Outside, the moon was completely covered with the dark clouds, and the rain never stopped from falling. No lights, no noises, no disruptions, just him and Lois. It was going to be one fantastic night. Or at least, he could dream. Just minus Lois out of that equation, and it would've been perfect.

"Stay here, I'll get the flashlight," he told her.

"Ugh, fine. Just hurry up." She resumed brushing her hair.

Clark quickly put on a pair of sweatpants and felt around the desk for his flashlight. Fortunately, he found one. He pressed a button to turn it on and pointed it straight towards the bed, where Lois was sitting.

"Better?" he asked, smiling.

"Finally! Now give me that," she walked up to him.

"W-wait, now hold on! I still need to find a shirt!"

"And I need to get dressed," she said, showing Clark that she only had on his favorite shirt. She needed the flashlight much more than he did.

He raised his arm high enough so that Lois couldn't reach the flashlight. He looked down on her, helpless.

"I'll hold the flashlight, and you get your clothes. Then you can change," he bargained.

Sighing in defeat, Lois nodded and walked around the room until she reached her bags. She opened them up and pulled out a pair of socks, a shirt, and some pajamas.

"Cute bunnies? Really, Lois?" he teased her as soon as he saw the printed bunnies on Lois' pajamas.

"Ha-ha-ha. Shut up and turn around."

"What?"

"Turn around, I'm going to get dressed," she said, annoyed. She took the flashlight from him swiftly.

"Oh." Clark spun around and looked the other way. As he looked at the wall, he realized that the silhouette moving around was Lois, unbuttoning his shirt. She then took it off which exposed her curves perfectly. Clark shifted his gaze toward the floor, feeling that he was invading her privacy.

As soon as she got dressed, she tossed Clark's red flannel towards him.

"There, you can have your shirt back."

He quickly put it on, realizing that Lois' body was just in it earlier. It smelled like strawberries.

Lois looked out the window and saw nothing but complete darkness. Even the lamp post outside wasn't working, so she realized that the electricity was going to be out for a while.

"Great, now I'm going to miss another Monster Truck marathon," she muttered to herself, loud enough for Clark to hear it.

She shifted her gaze back to the bedroom and saw Clark making his way out the door.

"Where are you going?"

He turned around and faced her.

"I'm going to get some candles in the other room," he said matter-of-factly.

"Not with you leaving me here in the darkness, you're not," she answered back, and followed him from behind.

With only one piece of lit candle sitting on the nightstand, Lois kept herself occupied by playing the games that were on her cellphone as Clark sat there, patiently watching her. A soft noise buzzed from Lois' phone indicating that it was low in battery.

"Great. There goes my source of entertainment." She looked around the room and saw Clark cradling his cellphone on the bed. She reached out to it only to be stopped by the phone's owner.

"I'm sorry, Lois, but this can only be used in emergency situations."

"Just one game, Clark. I promise. One. Game." She eyed that thing like it was some sort of prize she was trying to win.

As soon as Clark placed it on the pocket of his sweats, Lois wrestled him, trying to steal the device away from him. Clark fought back, lunging towards her until he pinned her down on the bed, his hand locked around her wrists. It wasn't long until Lois realized that they were in a compromising position.

"Smallville…"

"Gotcha," he said, feeling triumphant. He finally beat Lois at her own game.

"Clark!"

"What? Too upset that I finally beat you?"

"Not as much as trying to comprehend the fact that you are on top of me," she blurted out.

"Oh," he said, moving quickly away from her. He got too caught up with the wrestling match to realize that he was, in fact, on top of Lois.

"Yeah, 'oh'," she said, mocking him.

After a few minutes of absolute silence, Lois let out a yawn and reached for the blanket. She wrapped herself around it as her stomach made grumbling noises. She was starving.

"Ugh, what are we going to eat? Where's Mr. & Mrs. K with the food?"

Remembering the conversation he had with Martha on the phone earlier, Clark forgot to tell Lois that they weren't coming home.

"They're uh, they're not coming home, Lois. They decided to let the rain pass and come back tomorrow."

"Oh, I see. So we're just going to starve here to death slowly?"

"She did mention about some leftovers in the fridge," he said.

"Oh yeah? Mind bringing some up here? I'm too lazy to go downstairs."

He strolled towards the stairs as he heard Lois yell out to him.

"Clark!"

"Yes, Lois?" he said in the sweetest voice he could ever generate. He wasn't in the mood for another verbal altercation. He was tired, hungry, and sleepy.

"Instead of the leftovers, can you grab the pineapple upside-down cake that Chloe gave to me instead? And bring the can of whipped cream up here too. Oh, and strawberries!"

Who in their right mind eats dessert for dinner? Clark thought to himself. Only Lois did, of course. She was beyond different than everyone else he'd ever met before.

"Oh Lois, here's a slice of your favorite pineapple—"

As Clark entered his bedroom, he found Lois sleeping away on one side of the bed. Apparently she'd fallen asleep while waiting for Clark to bring her dinner. Not that he'd taken forever preparing it, as a matter of fact, he only spent about five minutes downstairs. Either way, she was completely knocked out.

"Lois?" he placed the cake, the can of whipped cream, and the strawberries on the floor. There was no room left to set it on the nightstand.

Also exhausted from the day's events, Clark positioned himself on the bed comfortably opposite where Lois was sleeping. He was just going to rest for a bit, wait for the electricity to go back on, clean the mess downstairs and sleep in his parents' room. Little did he know, as some time passed, he quickly fell asleep and the rain continued to silently pour down from the sky.

The next morning…

"Clark! Lois!" Martha yelled out as she hurriedly opened the front door. What she saw next surprised her.

"Hey, what's wrong, sweetie?" Jonathan asked as he followed his wife up the steps. He then saw what caused her to stop on the doorway.

Trails of muddy footsteps occupied the living room floor, leading the two of them to the bottom of the stairs. Martha's eyes widened as she saw Clark and Lois' clothes sitting sloppily on some steps of the stairs, realizing that those were the clothes they were wearing before she and Jonathan left for Metropolis. From the way they were accessorized on the steps, it seemed as if the two were in a hurry to take them off. She picked up the clothes one by one, slowly leading her to Clark's bedroom door.

Jonathan straightened his face as he tried not to guess what had happened last night. Maybe they should've gone home after all. This is exactly what they didn't want to deal with.

Martha slowly opened the door to Clark's bedroom. At first glance, her jaw dropped immediately as she finally realized what had happened.

Next to the bed, sitting on the floor, was an untouched piece of cake with melted whipped cream at the top. Next to that was a can of whipped cream, followed by red strawberries. Her eyes didn't want to shift towards the bed, but she did so willingly.

Wrapped in sheets, Lois rested her head on Clark's chest with one arm wrapped around him. On the other hand, Clark's arm was wrapped around Lois' body as they slept there on the bed, together. Their breathing rhythm was in sync with one another, and Martha and Jonathan stood there trying to comprehend what they just witnessed.

Shifting around the bed, Lois slowly opened her eyes and saw the digital clock blinking. The electricity was finally back on. Turning around, she saw the Kents with what looked like death glares written all over their face.

"Morning Mr. & Mrs. Kent," she greeted them, smiling.

Without saying a word, Clark woke up to the sound of Lois' voice and realized that he fell asleep on the bed with her. To make things better, he saw his parents standing on the doorway now shifting their glares from Lois to him. He jumped out of the bed and quickly got up.

"Mom, Dad, I can explain…"

He looked at Lois who was smiling at him innocently then moved his gaze towards the untouched food sitting on the floor. Strawberries, whipped cream, cake…he had no idea how to explain this one. He'd be lucky enough if his parents actually believe his story and only ground him for life. After all, sleeping with one Lois Lane sure had its death-defying consequences.