The Touchin' Story
by TradingFashion2
"Gather 'round, children," said the mysterious storyteller,
"Here's a tale of a strange feller."
The adults were all queasy.
But they let the kids go easy.
For it was rather obvious, that, if they couldn't hear him and his talk
They would all squawk.
So all the young ones in town gathered 'round
And not a single one was not found.
Smoking his fancy pipe
Which had been a gift from a snipe*,
The storyteller began his tale
Of quite a strange male.
"There once was a man who lived in Australia
Though it hardly mattered if it was there or Bulgaria.
He was rich and never did much
Except for attending the bi-weekly brunch."
"One day he was out for a stroll
And nature took its toll."
" 'Hey,' " his doctor friend said, " 'it seems ya
Got the malaria.' "
" 'Well, this is a fine bloody mess!
I'm goin' ta get some rest.' "
" 'No!' " the doctor interjected, " 'you need medical assistance!' "
"And he continued insisting with persistence."
" 'Alright,'" he said,
" 'Send me to the hospital bed.' "
"Then he went off to medical care
On the good doctor's dare."
"But, alas, he died in his struggle, and the doctor lived happily ever after, though the truth he had to bend.
The kids were shocked, horrified; the adults equally ghastly: this couldn't be how it would end."
"Such a touchin' story,"
The teller said, "Excuse me for a bit, I'll be back soon, but I've got to go use the lorry."
"But the storyteller (and former doctor) would get what was due.
He was going back to the land he knew.
It had become polluted,
He hadn't known
And slowly, but ever so surely, his life and energy became diluted,
It bit to the bone."
"One day when out for a walk,
Nature took its stock.
He became mutated,
And his life abated."
"So remember kids, don't be such a fool.
Nuclear radiation isn't cool.
And you won't get away with trying to kill me, I'll pay it back
Then add your bodies to my stack."
A/N: It was actually a pony (brony) that gifted said pipe to Sniper, via the Steam Workshop.