Tears In My Side
NOTE: the story takes place right before the Original's Cinderella ball. In my story nothing had happened like in the episode 3x14. There must be some grammatical mistakes, English is not my mother tongue, sorry for that. I'll wait for your reviews whether you think it's good or the story !
All that night had been a disaster. She was forced to face it now, she had lost it. She had lost control of the situation a while ago, but tonight had been beyond any of her expectations. How had she got here? How the hell had she got herself into that place, into that situation?She had been running for what seemed like hours before she decided to stop and breathe again. Her breathing was panting and painful, and she could see some smoke coming out of her mouth because of the cold night. Where was she right now? She had no idea, but she could tell that somehow ,she was on her way to the best place to start all over again though she didn't know what that place was was still wearing that magical and princess like evening gown that she had wore for the Michaelson' s ball tonight. Now she felt ridiculous, being here, in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of this mess that she had created against her will, dressed like a princess. It didn't quite fit the situation. She looked all around her, and all she could see were trees and the darkness of that night. She was lost not just metaphorically but for real, she was lost in this wood as much as she was lost in her own life, she thought. Maybe now, they would start to wonder where she'd be, they would start to look around, to look for her and no one would find her. Or maybe they would just accept it, if only they would. For the first time in her entire life, she had made a choice that wasn't really hers but that she had had to make anyway….for their sakes, for all of their sakes. She started to walk again, she had to find a place where she could get rid of that dress…she didn't want to carry anything with her, anything that would reminder her who she was before. Before tonight. She caught sight of a light afar coming from a house. One of these ancients' whites houses which had mysteriously survived through time and wars without a change. She walked towards it determined to change her life, ready to watch it happen.
At the Original's ball party, Stefan was still in one of the bedroom of the mansion. Numb, he was like anaesthetized, incapable of talking, of moving, of feeling anything…just numb by the ache in his heart, by the hole that was getting bigger and bigger. He hadn't moved since she had left the room, he had just sat down on the bed, trying to find a way to breathe again without success. Bonnie, was on the porch, looking at the outside, looking where Elena had run away with her car an hour ago. Tears were rolling on her cheeks silently, her friend was gone and she hadn't been able to stop her from leaving. Caroline came right beside her and hold Bonnie in her arms.
-"It's going to be ok, Bonnie, it's going to be okay now" she said hugging her friend in her arms and holding back tears in her eyes.
Damon came out of the cave, followed by Katherine who was fixing her hair, all messed up by the crazy sex they've just had, hidden in the darkness, away from glares. He saw Bonnie and Caroline, in the arms of each other and understood right away, something was wrong.
-"What's going on?" he asked in a worried tone.
Bonnie looked at Katherine and slowly, back to Damon .
- "She's gone." she said coldly, " Elena's gone, Damon."
Damon stood there, unblinking. Not understanding what the heck she was talking about. What had happened in the last 15 minutes? At first, he thought the worst.
-"She left", Caroline said to make sure he understood it right. She looked down, "Klaus kind of helped her."
-"Klaus did what?" Now more than worried or angry, he was afraid that something could have happened to her.
-"I helped her , just like I said I would." Klaus was walking towards them. "Is this not what you wanted, my friend? Elena's safe, I'm not going to pursue her any more. Everything is right in the best of the world"
-"What? You helped Elena to leave?" he laughed, "Because you expect me to believe that in your all kindness, you decided to leave Elena at peace, without anything in return, just like that, in the middle of your house-warming?That you give up on your baby hybrids to create and on your war to lead!...Nan, I don't buy it. You're better than that!"
-"You are such a man of little faith! What kind of a monster do you think I am?"Damon didn't give him the satisfaction to respond to that one. "I told you before; Elena's got only one problem. And you know it's not me, but you Salvatore's brothers. I offered her a way out of you two."
Damon knew where he was going; they had had just the same conversation a week ago, at that diner at Klaus' house. His unbeaten heart had pinched hard when he had heard Klaus said out loud what neither Stefan nor he, wanted ever to talk about. Klaus smirked at Damon's face.
-"What did you do with her, Klaus..." he asked without really asking, tension in every of his muscles, getting mentally ready for a fight.
-"Easy boy! She's fine, she wanted to be released, she wanted to have a chance at life, she wanted her freedom. So, she got it. After all, I suppose she earned it. I made a promise to a lady tonight, "he said looking at Caroline, suddenly all tender and nice, "and I never broke any promises. I am a gentleman, I have moral.", looking back at Damon and Katherine now, "what can I say Damon?...I cared for the girl and she deserved a life without history repeating itself. So I offered her a deal and she gladly accepted it."
-"What was it?"….Damon couldn't keep his mind away from that question "Was she safe? And where the hell was Stefan? How could he have let all this mess happened?" Klaus smiled.
-" I erased all of you. Every single one of you. Mystic Falls and all his mysteries never existed for her, not since her parents died in that car accident almost two years ago. I freed her from all this pain and tragedy that happened to her ever since, so that she's free to start over somewhere far away from here...I did what neither you nor Stefan could do."
-"Why would you do something like that? What do you get in return? What about your hybrids? What about your blood bag?" He was shouting now, incapable of holding it any longer.
-"I don't need hybrids any more, I have my family back. That's all I ever wanted! …I told you before, Damon, there is nothing more important than the bonds of family! That's all that matters in the end! ...That's all you got left!"
Damon was looking at Klaus in disbelief, refusing to believe that such a thing could really happen. Elena would never agree, it was just inconceivable, why would she accept a treat with the enemy, why would she trust him? …She couldn't just disappear with no memories left… could she?
-"She's on verveine!" he said, proud to find a good reason to why all this, was made up story and impossible to be true.
-"She's not. She told me so herself. That's what she wanted Damon. That's easy like that…" He looked at his watch, "She remains the same Elena for the next 4 hours. On midnight sharp, tonight, she'll forget." He came closer to Damon "War is over my friend. Now is a good time for all of us to move on and let history behind. That's what we all want, isn't it? Get back to our lives and move on? So be it…"
Damon was still looking at Klaus in disbelief. It was too huge, too wrong, too much to process. He couldn't think straight.
-" Katharina, my dear, I won't chase you any more, I'm tired of all this game, after centuries it gets old. If Elena is free, so are you."
Katharina's jaw opened like if she was about to say something but not a sound came out of her mouth, so many thoughts were rushing through her brain, she couldn't make herself to speak.
-"Now, my friends, if you'll excuse me, my guests are expecting me. My family and I, are living a special moment tonight. A long time expected reunion. Soon enough we'll leave town, this is what we could call "a going away party"…So I wish you all a pleasant evening." And he got inside of the house. The rest of the team, on the porch, was still numb by the news. They could not move. Was it over? For real?
She was in the bathroom. The house was empty, was it a good sign or not? She didn't care about that right now, all that she knows was that time was counted down and that she had to be as far away as possible of Mystic Falls within the next( she looked at her watch) four hours. That house was perfect for a shower, got dressed as a normal eighteen young woman, and got back on the road. She didn't even know where she would go, once the compulsion will work, that was kind of a guarantee of not being followed by anybody. She closed the small cabinet door and she observed the reflect in the mirror right in front her. Who will she become? A doctor, a lawyer, a journalist or a writer maybe, she sure would have stories to tell tell. For the past two years she had been constantly on the run, running for her life for hers friends life, she wanted peace, she wanted real problems, she wanted to think about the future and stop wondering if she would ever get one, and if so will there be vampires in it?... And she was too afraid to think about what a life without them would represent or what a life without just one of them would mean for her. She had become finally what she hated the most… She was just like her. Nothing more, nothing less. Just a girl between two brothers, and she hated it. A shower, she had to wash the pain away. Her heart was still incredibly aching right now so she had to forget. She pushed the water button under the shower and let the hot water shut off the tap filling the room with steam.
-"You knew about this? Was it her idea?" Damon asked Bonnie. He couldn't bear it. Elena was somewhere alone, and all her friends watched her leave without holding her back?
-"She told us... She told that she couldn't keep doing what she was doing with you two, and that she didn't know what to do…She felt stuck" Caroline replied instead of Bonnie whose tears were still rolling down.
-"And you didn't say anything to make her change her mind? What kind of friends are you?", he shouted angrily, rage was filling his body, his heart.
-"It was her call, Damon. It was her choice to make. And she chose."
-"Where is she?", he couldn't let that go easily, impossible, no can't be. "She can't just be gone, ok? We still have four hours, we can still look for her and she'll change her mind. She will."
-"And then what?" Bonnie asked the question to anyone in particular, maybe for herself." Klaus is too strong, there's nothing we can do to undo the spell…we can't kill Klaus." She said her voice cracked up at the end of her sentence. She was angry because she couldn't have convinced her friend to let that go and because she was the one who had suggested first what would you do if you could ? Now, Elena was gone and there was nothing that she could do to go back on time and repair the unfortunate mistake she had made by telling her friend to move on with her life now that everything was finally ok in Mystic Falls.
-"That's what she wanted Damon".
-" No, it's not over, try to locate her with a spell" his tone was cold and bossy, there was no way he will let Elena get out of his life without fighting for her to stay. He couldn't just stay here, doing nothing, waiting for it to happen. Though he had no idea what to do next, he had to think quickly, find a solution. Where was Stefan, damn it !...
-"Find her" he said again.
Bonnie closed her eyes, and located rapidly where she was. She saw the ancient house and she saw Elena looking at herself in the mirror. She was looking for any signs, any indications of where she was. Elena went out of the bathroom and went in the hall, it was as if she could feel someone was looking at her. She turned on herself. Nothing, but she could feel someone was here, though she could not see. On the floor was a pile of old unread mails, Bonnie saw the address.
-"She's out of town. On the national road leading to Greensborro, 1745 West National 55" she barely had finished her sentence that Damon disappeared at the speed of light, getting in his car and starting it in the blink of an eye. Bonnie and Caroline looked at each other, without saying anything.
-"It's not going to change anything Damon!" Katherine shouted after Damon. "He was smarter back in 1864!", she added, adjusting her dress. The girls looked at Katherine with mistrust.
-"He wasn't in love with the right woman in 1864!" Stefan stepped out from inside the house.
-"Yeah" she said smirking back at him, "So I've heard! Well, what can I say? I will still be the first one, for both of you! And if she ran away, I guess, somehow she must be smarter than both of you, she doesn't want to repeat our past….though she already did despite everything." She pouted like if she were sad, "I'm so sad for you, boys!..."
-"I heard you're free what are you still doing here?" he said bitterly, every part of his being hated her for looking like her but not being her.
-"I'm leaving….but it's not a goodbye, Stefan." She gets closer to him, like a lioness walking towards its prey. "We still have eternity ahead, waiting for us. So be sad, miss her, and then come back to me whenever you are ready…because with us, it won't ever be off the table! And you know it. I spent the last one hundred and fifty years missing you…I can still wait for a bit." She smiles at him with innuendoes.
-"You'll wait forever." He just said. "Now, leave."
-"See you soon". And just like that, Katharina was out of their lives, for good... finally. She had had revenge and she was free. And who could blame her, she was a loner, only around people when she needed something but basically a lonesome and she'll always be. That was her strength that was why she had survived all of those years, alone. Maybe, that's what he wanted to do with his life now. Maybe, that's all that was left for him to do with his life. He looked right into the direction that Damon took a few minutes ago. They had loose her, both of them, they couldn't keep her around, they had to let her go. Though his heart was literally breaking right now, he understood Elena and he loved her wholeheartedly, without holding her back, like he always had. He knew Damon would not understand right away, he wanted to be more like him sometimes, more selfish, but even if they were brothers, they didn't think alike, they didn't process ideas or thoughts the same way. When Damon was facing a problem, he was not looking for a way to figure the problem out to solve it, he just wanted to fight it. But fight would not change reality. She deserved happiness, more than anyone else, more than them. It was the reality that Damon would have to accept. She had a chance at life now, he would not ruin that.
-"Is there any chance that Klaus can take that compulsion away? Can he undo it?", Bonnie asked, full of hope. He looked at her, but didn't reply anything. He realised she didn't even know what was going on.
Elena went in the garage, hoping for a bicycle or a car….but she was facing a motorcycle.
-"Okay, I can do this. It's been awhile but I can do it. As far as I can, she muttered to herself, as fast as I can"
She went up on the engine, it was an old 125 cc Suzuki. She would not go fast but if it'd worked she would go anyway. She put the helmet on, praying there would be enough gas in the motor for her to start. She remembered exactly how to use one, but the last time she did, was with her dad and it was almost two years ago. But she had no choice, she had felt something weird in the house and she knew now that it was a magical spirit or something, maybe Bonnie. She had gone all this way to start all over again, she couldn't get caught now. She had to go on before they caught up with her. She started the engine and drove away. While she was driving, she could still feel this unpleasant presence around her, getting closer, getting faster.
-" Is she stood still?" Damon was in his car driving like hell, on the phone, speaking with Bonnie.
-"She just left the house Damon. She's on motorcycle, now!" Bonnie replied, eyes closed.
Damon pulled over.
-"I'll go faster on my way!" And he disappeared in the darkness of the forest.
While Elena driving, she was replaying the whole scene of tonight in her mind. When she had arrived at the party, the two brothers wanted to arm her, so she just armed them both, and she felt stuck again. All the afternoon, she had talked with them about going or not going to this party and watched them played "who's going to protect Elena?" game. Then, they were gone to get ready for the night and she had spent all the afternoon thinking about Katherine, about Stefan and this new version of him that she disliked so much and about Damon and the old version of him that she didn't like either. "How the hell did I get myself into that mess?"
Later that day, she was getting herself ready for the ball when Bonnie came to her place.
-"How are you feeling? Matt told me what you had to do to Alaric the other day?" Bonnie had asked worried for a friend.
-"I'm ok. It wasn't easy but…I'm fine now." She wanted herself to be strong so that's what she wanted to sound like. "Do you want a tea, something to drink?"
-"No, I'm good. I just wanted to check up on you, we haven't had the time to talk this week, with Caroline's dad and all…that's why I stopped by. You know you can talk to me."
-"I know…there's just nothing to say. That's what my current agenda is like. Vampires, run, witches, coffins, fight, chopping heads off or stabbing in the stomach people I love. This is my life now."
Bonnie looked at her friend, caring. Elena's life was such a mess, she didn't even know if she could make things better with a spell. What if magic could help?
-"If you could change the way your life turned out, would you do things differently?" Bonnie asked.
-"What?" Elena laughed at the suggestion.
-"Yes, if you knew a way to make it different, would you do it?"
-"I don't know…."she was thinking about Jeremy now. She missed her brother so much since he was gone, but she knew thanks to his many mails that he was all right, that he had new friends and that he was happy, carefree happy." If I could, I would like not to be the doppelgänger off course, but it's impossible, like, being in another dimension, not being my parent's child, you know…It would be not being me, so it's kind of weird thinking like that...What about you?Would you do it differently?"
Bonnie was thinking about the right answer to give, the honest one.
-" Yeah…I would go find my mum back before she left me and my dad and I would told her what to expect for the future, or I would convince her to do differently though she would probably won't. But if I could, I would try, yeah."
-"Why do you think about that?"
-"It's not like if we could change what our lives are, I know that, but I can't stop thinking what if I could do something? What if magic could do something? Maybe I could take a look and try to change what our lives look like."
Elena looked at her friend, not being sure of what she meant, "Think about it. What if you never met the Salvatore's brothers? What if all this war, was over because it never existed in the first place? What if you could start all over and be exactly who you want to be, without thinking back about what you left behind, because there's nothing behind?"
Elena smiled and tried to picture the idea in her mind.
-"To avoid the pain? To avoid the void, the hollow inside? ...To avoid losing all those that we loved and who are gone?...Off course I will. If we could…"
-"What would you be? What would you do?"
-" I don't know, simple things…like go to College, go to Europe, meet someone, get a degree, try to cure cancer!...I don't know, anything…."
-"You could be a doctor! You'd make a terrific doctor"
-"Yes, I would," she said laughing first and smiling sadly realizing how far she was from all those hopes she had had once upon time before all this hell of life came rushing into her daily life. "But for now, I'm the doppelgänger and I'm invited to the Original's ball! So…Cancer will have to wait…Will you help me with my hair?"
-"Sure", Bonnie smiled at her sadly. If only she could change their lives.
The gas tank sign on the motorcycle was red and blinking now, pulling her out of her reverie. She had been driven for thirty minutes but she was still far away from Greensboro. There, she would probably get on a bus and get a ticket for nowhere and start a new life there. But first she had to refill the tank, she stopped at the first gas station she met, and started to fill in the engine. Once it was done, she went inside the small store to pay. After deposing money on the desk and saying goodnight to the owner, she stepped outside. Her eyes went wide opened when she realised who was standing there in front of her. Looking at her with anger and….pain? She didn't move, he didn't either. She was trying to breathe calmly, steadily, but what she had dread the most was about to happen, and her breathing became harder. But she had to be strong, stronger than him because he was here to ask her to go back and she couldn't go back to this mess…."Damn you vampire speed magical thing! I was supposed to get more time". She gathered all the strength she had left in her body and moved straight to the motorcycle.
-"You're on my way, Damon!" she said coldly.
Damon looked surprised by her tone and by her attitude, so distant and detached….could she be gone already? No, he still had four hours left, he could do this, he could save her. At first he didn't want to say anything, he wanted to let her speak first, he thought that she would be desperate or sad, or anything but not cold. Not like this. So he had to be stronger than her.
-"I'm not going anywhere, Elena, and neither are you." He replied bitterly.
-" Move away from the bike!"
-"You never mentioned you can drive bikes!"
-"Well there are many things I never mentioned to you !"
She was trying to be hurtful while she was getting closer at every words she spoked out. She kept repeating herself " be strong, be stronger, don't lose it !"
-"Now, please Damon, let me go!" she said like a wail.
-" No! Seriously you think I came all the way through the state and that I'm not going to stop you from leaving! Forget it!"
-"I don't think anything; I'm asking you to let me go."
Now, they were standing right in front of the other and they were looking at each other.
-"No" he said simply, almost like a murmur. There was nothing else to say. He was hoping for something deeper, something more elaborate, more grown up, but nothing came out. Just "no"...
-"No?... What are you twelve?" she was angry, she didn't want have this conversation. She couldn't have this conversation again, not twice in the same night.
Earlier that night while she was still at Klaus' house, in her princess gown, she went outside to get some fresh air to breathe out because the tension in her body was screaming at her to go back inside and let the world falling apart for once. But she couldn't do that , she could not give herself in to Damon. No matter how bad she would want to. So she was standing on the terrace, looking at the stars, her thoughts getting lost into them when Stefan came right behind her.
-"What are you doing here?..."
-"I'm enjoying the night, I guess...just watching at the stars..." she said in a sad voice without even looking at him.
-"What's wrong?..."She looked at him suspiciously,"..What is wrong?"he insisted gently.
She faced him.
-"Don't do that." He starred at her, confused. She was infuriated now, all this pretending, all this condescension was more than she could bare. "Don't act like that now!... I don't understand you...one minute you try to kill me, the next you want to come with me to a ball because you're jealous or worried? What's the point, I don't get it? Is that one of your trick to get even with Klaus, or is that just to torture me? I can't win with you, can I? No matter how much I try to be tougher?...It's too much. I can't do this any more, Stefan."
-" I know..." She was fighting to hold back tears which were ready to roll on her warm cheeks. But she was stronger now, she could hold it back a bit longer."I'm sorry, Elena. I know, you never wanted any of this to happen. I know it. And you have every right to have feelings for Damon now, he took good care of you, look how strong you become, I'm glad he was here...while I was gone."
These words rang a bell...and she remembered exactly the last time she had heard them "I want you to remember what you felt while he was gone", oh yes, she could remember.
-Why are you acting like this? It's just the two of us now, no one's watching, you can drop the act!"
-"I'm not pretending right now,Elena..."He came closer to her, her back could felt the cold stone from the balustrade which stopped her from stepping back as Stefan was moving closer to her. " I don't want to pretend any more... I saw you two dancing together..."
-"You saw it?"
-"Everyone saw it... Look...I want to thank you." Roles were reversed, she was now looking at him in confusion. He just decided it had to stopped. The fight with Klaus was about to be over, it was just a matter of hours and he felt tired of all this anger in his soul, in his body, in his mind, he was ready to let it go...to accept to feel the good again, though it would come with a lot of pain."Thanks to you my brother is good again. He gained his humanity back because of you, and I'm glad for that..." Elena felt guilty at what he said, though she should feel proud or at least happy maybe, all she felt was remorse, she had given up on Stefan too soon; it would be easier if she hadn't had. "Elena, we did it. Klaus and the Originals will leave town in a couple of days, I got what I wanted. The only weapon I thought I had to hurt Klaus was his mother and she forgave him for what he did, and somehow their plan is to move on...So it's okay, I stop." She blinked hearing that sentence." But I want you to know that all I want now is for you to be happy..., so may it be with my brother, me or someone you don't know yet, I want you to know that... you're off the hook!" They stared at each other and he just smiled like to punctuate his speech, with a full stop."You're free." She was turning as cold and grey as the balustrade behind her. She felt like she could disappear right now, right there, she could feel her knees getting weaker, and she couldn't find anything smart to say. She was looking at Stefan, in disbelief. That was something she had lost hope for. She wanted to feel happy about what she had just heard, but all she could feel was guilt. Stefan took her hand in his. " I love you Elena. I can't stop loving you, no matter how much I try, I...I just can't. But I'm ready to let you go if that's what you want..."
Realising she was not moving, he got closer and closer, she could feel his warm breath and the touch of his hand in hers was so soft. He hadn't touched her in months, and now there he was with the Stefan she loved so much, standing right in front of her, setting her free? She couldn't move, she couldn't speak, she was just numb and the tears that she was holding back until now, were now rolling in the deep. Stefan was leaning gently his lips against Elena's, slowly and tenderly. They kissed like they haven't had in so long. Elena got lost for a moment, loosing perception of what she was doing or where she was or who she was with. After a few seconds, she finally came back on her feet, and opened her eyes filled up with questions, and pain. Stefan was looking back at her as much surprised as she was. She was trying to figure things out in her mind but then that's when she saw him. Behind this huge white French window which was leading to the terrace, he had seen the whole thing and he was hurt. Devastated, she could tell by his features. He looked away, shaking his head like to rebut what had just happened in front of his eyes. She looked back at Stefan.
-"Stefan..." she managed herself to structure.
-"I know" he just nods in agreement."I know".
-"I can't...I..."
-"It's okay Elena. I just wanted you to know... the truth, that's it."
She nods hearing his statement, and she started to walk again. Praying all the muscles in her body to get back to normal quickly enough, so that she could find Damon on time before he might do something stupid like usual. She was moving further and further away from Stefan whose stare got lost in those stars he used to observe at night holding her in his wrap. Like an eternity ago.
She was now starring at Damon, who was upset. Their relationship lately had become that weird, devastating and destructive bond and she just wanted peace now, she needed that peace.
-"I don't have time for your games tonight, Damon! I have to go!" She grabbed the handlebars and started to walk, pushing the bike away. Damon was walking right by her side.
-" So, Klaus told us something very funny tonight!... He said he would let you go...that the war was over. Just like that, you should have hear it! In the snap of a finger we clearly didn't see that one coming...His entire vampiry-wolfy family is going to leave town in a couple of days and we can all be happy in the best of the worlds.." He said with a careless voice, faking joy.
-"Yes, I've heard" she smiled and stopped pushing the bike to get on it and when she was about to put the helmet on, Damon came right in front her, again, and grabbed the handlebars to force her to look at him in the eyes.
-"Guess what else he said?" he asked sadly, holding back tears which were getting harder and harder to contain.
She hadn't finished to put the helmet on when she caught the look in his eyes... she sadly looked down, she knew what he was about to say. She was unable to look at him while he was starring at her like this, imploring her with his deep, beautiful blue eyes.
-"He said… that on midnight sharp... you'll be gone and that you won't remember anything of what we've been through together for the past two years. He said he compelled you to forget because you asked him to." He felt weak, fighting for a lost cause but on that moment he couldn't care less of how desperate he would sound, he knew there was no way to undo what Klaus had did tonight, so he knew this was the end, nothing else matters. "So I keep wondering, why would you do that?"
She looked back at him, ready to give him THE perfect answer she had worked on for the past running hour, but then she saw the tears forming in his eyes and all the fences she had tried to put on for the past 5 minutes just felt apart in one blink. He was trying so hard to bear himself, that she could have heard his heartbeat slow down... He was realising that he was talking to her for what would probably be the last time and he felt his heart being shattered, and there was nothing he could do to stop that pain.
-"Damon…" she said softly.
-"Because you can't just erase us you know that, don't you? Everything that we've been through everything that we've shared, you can't possibly want to erase that, can you? ..."
-"I don't want to erase you….nor any of you" She got off the bike and put the helmet on it. "I never wanted to erase anything."
-"Then why?..."
She got closer to Damon, tears in the eyes. "I asked Klaus,… to erase me… from your memories." She tried to smile, trying to hold back the inevitable tears. Damon's heart, well let's put it that way, if it was still pounding, would have stopped a second time for sure.
-" What ?" he could barely speak, in shock.
-"You and Stefan and everyone else in Mystic Falls, you all deserve to get a chance to live another life, a life without the doppelgänger in the picture, without fighting and surviving all the time to a war I created just by being in your life. I can stop this. I can change this."
Damon was confused and could not stop watching the one person he loved more than anyone else, acting in such a noble way, that she was ready to be erased from memories' of all the people she loved just to make sure they could have a chance at happiness, even if it means without her.
-"And I'm tired of being stuck in the middle of it…Too many people died because of me, because I am the doppelgänger...I just need to believe that I can do something right."
-"How can it be right if you're not a part of it?" his voice cracked up.
-"You can't miss something you never had in the first place…look, you deserve a chance to be happy with your brother, without any woman being in the way. If there's something I learned from everything that we've been through, it's that there's nothing stronger than family…Despite everything that happens between you two, you still love each other, and I don't want to be in the way, I don't want to ruin that. But I am in the way; I'm stuck. I refuse to be Katherine. I won't be Katherine."
He looked at her in despair, incredulous and totally speechless. He was more in love with her now than he had never been before. Klaus compelling all of them? Something was off.
-"How could Klaus compel us?We're all under verveine."
-" He didn't. I asked Bonnie to put a spell on Mystic Falls. And Esther, Klaus' mum, helped her in the process."
-"What Bonnie? She didn't..."
-"Klaus compelled her to forget." she whispered.
-"There must be another way..." he refused to settle down with that solution. It was so elaborate, she must have thought this through before tonight...maybe she was thinking about this for days. It was way much too radical, too drastic...her not being in his life, not being in his mind, his memory nor his heart?...
-"Undo what you did!" he said firmly.
-"No" she replied softly.
-"Undo it!"he said louder.
-"No, Damon!" she stepped back, a bit afraid by his reaction. Every time he lost control, she never knew what his next move could be.
-"Elena undo this spell, undo this compulsion, undo it all!" he was now shouting, refusing to loose her.
-" I can't ! I can't Damon ! I can't" she was shouting back.
" Why did you do this? Why? How can you decide for all of us? Who do you think you are to take our memories away from us? How can you do that?" He kept shouting as she was shouting back that she could not change anything, suddenly she just shout louder:
-" Because I love you,….." They stared at each other, breathing hard because of the pain in both their hearts and because of the frustration of this damn situation they were stuck in. Damon looked at her, not sure of what he had just heard.
-"What ?..." he was panting.
She hadn't seen that one coming. She didn't even know that she felt like this, she suspected it off course but as the second she had said it out loud,she'd realised how simple it was. Yes, she did love him.
-" You heard me..." she said calmly, unable to say it again. "And it's because of the way I feel about you, that I can't...As long as it was only Stefan, I could have stood there, I could have tried to pretend vampires, witches and dead people was okay, that I could live with it...Now...I can't pretend any more."
He grabbed her, holding her arms and forcing her to look at the damage she has done.
-"I'll forget what you said. I will leave you and Stefan alone if that's what you want, but please don't go...Undo this... "he whispered finally, pleading her.
She stood there, in his grasp, looking right in his eyes, seeing through his broken soul.
-"No," she replied simply," I can't. It's too late. It's done." she said heartbroken.
He released her from his grasp, and took a step back, staring at her in incomprehension. He wiped his tears away with one hand, trying to look strong and tough again.
-" So this is goodbye, then?"
-"I guess it is..." she looked away, not ready to face this goodbye moment.
-"So if I hadn't come, here?...What? You would have just left without even saying goodbye?" he was back to anger now. It was like an emotional elevator, going up and down in one second, in one blink, in one heartbeat. She starred back at him, with the same look he was giving to her.
- "I was looking for you at the ball, but you were kind of busy..."
Flashback.
At the Original's ball, Elena was looking for Damon. She just had left Stefan outside."Did it really happen? Did we really kissed?" She was peeping one room after another, looking desperately for Damon. She didn't know what she would say or how she would even explain what had just happened on the terrace, but she needed to let him know that she was not feeling good about it. That something was wrong. She finally got back at these stairs she was standing an hour ago when Damon invited her to dance. Her head was spinning, her blood was pumping hard until she finally saw him across the room, with a bottle of Jack in his hand, opening the back door and stepping outside. She followed him, trying to walk through all the crowd gathered around like to stop her from following him. When she opened up the door, she saw him sneaking down in the basement by an outside door. She followed him, staying in the dark. He closed the door behind him so she got closer until her ear got stopped by the cold wood of the door and she could listen to what was going on inside.
-"Basement, seriously, this is so cliché, Damon !Even for you."
She recognised the voice immediately. It was hers, except it was not her.
-" Shut up, Katherine! Why are you even here?"
-"I got invited..." she smiled.
-"...And you came? I thought that you didn't want to have to do anything with Mystic Falls any more. Weren't you on the run because of the big bad Klaus?"
-"Well, it's still pleasant to put a nice dress on, and visit some old friends. Klaus said he had something important to share with me tonight, he's not the one to brad usually, so I guess that must be important." Damon looked annoyed by this conversation.
-"How could he even join you ?" he asked sceptical.
-" Internet, maybe you've heard of it!Some kind of big buzz since the 90's!" she teased.
-"What? Don't tell me you're on facebook?" he laughed at her.
-"Who knows!" she beamed at him.
-"Why did you call me?..." he emphasised on the 'me'.
-"Well, I saw some kind of a romantic scene when I got here, outside on the balcony...maybe you know what I'm talking about? Two people that we know pretty well, kissed in the moonlight. And I thought, well maybe you would want to talk about it..." she was talking like a little girl who was giving away a secret deliberatly..."It seems like the story is on a repeat mode, isn't it ? " she asked ironically.
-"What do you want Katherine?" he cut her in her Machiavellian smile. She stopped and faced him.
-"I thought you were her knight in armour? What happened! When I left you two were pretty close...Don't be afraid to spoil it out...I've been away too long. I need to catch up!" she smiled. That sly bitch knew exactly what she was doing. Damon was angry and she was jealous...bad combination for two desperate people. Nothing good could come out of it. But still, Elena outside, was listening.
-"Well, things are not always what they seem to be...You taught me that!" he drank to that.
-"Leave me some", she said all temptress, swaying all the way till she could grab the bottle, and drank. How could two person look so much alike but be the total opposite of each other, he thought looking at Katherine.
-"So, Damon" she kept saying "Seriously what happened?"
-"Why do you even care?" he took back the bottle and drank again.
-"I don't...it's just, curiosity!"she said nonchalant. Damon looked at the amber liquid in the bottle which was less than half empty.
-"Well, you know, same old story...A man meets a woman, he loves this woman, but he can't have this woman...I'm sure you heard of it before?" he drank again to ease the pain. Just having spoken out loud the reality of the situation in front of Katherine proved his point...he was a looser.
-"What about the ending?"
-"...I just told you..." he grumbled.
-"I don't like it" she pouted before drinking again. "What about a kiss in the moonlight? That is a good way to end a story, a happy ending...Then, you could put your end in..." she laughed at her joke, she was enjoying herself with this situation. He caught her and pinned her against the wall, holding her with his arms.
-"You should know...I don't kiss in the moonlight." he said, every word untied to another.
-"Ooooooooh ! That sounds interesting!" she smiled again before pushing him back against the other wall, and leant over him until she stood to 5 inches from his mouth. "So, where do you kiss, Damon ?" She had used the same tone, whispering.
Elena was now looking at the window, observing the scene, hoping for Damon to not fall in her trap. He could not hold it out any longer. She looked so much like her and he would never have the one he wanted for real, this would be the closer he could ever get to her. He could pretend it was Elena, he could pretend for at least a moment. He kissed her savagely and she let herself becoming his under Elena's shocking and betrayed eyes. She stood there, in the darkness of this cold night, hurt, for what seemed like an eternity before she made up her mind to leave.
Back at the gas station.
-"I didn't want to bother"...Elena looked at Damon who was obviously embarrassed." You didn't look like you were in the mood... for talking."
-" You weren't supposed to see this."
-"Well, I did..." she replied simply.
He was ashamed of what had happened tonight with Katherine but he had felt rejected again, not being THE one again, and he could simply not bare it any longer, not with her. So for a short moment, he had decided to pretend things could be different, that he could have her.
-"What do you expect me to do Elena?...You started this!"
-"Oh so, this is what it is about? I kiss Stefan so you jump on Katherine? Is that your way to deal with problems? I thought we had passed this!"
-"Had we?..."
-"Well, I hoped anyway...but you proved me wrong tonight!"
-"You hoped?..." she had had hope for them that's when he realised how big his betrayal must have had been for her. He had hurt her, he hadn't thought it was even possible."I never thought this could hurt you...I didn't think I'd matter that much...to you..."
-"Well, now you do...".
What was he supposed to answer to that. Should he take her in his arms and just kiss her or...
-" I should go now, I need to be away from here before midnight..." she turned back to hop on the motorcycle. Damon looked at her getting back on the bike without stopping her this time. That was it ? She was finally accepting her feelings for him and she just turned back to leave the state? It couldn't happen like this! It couldn't be their goodbye...She put back the helmet on and turned the key inside the lock. The engine was shouting out the scream that both of them had inside their hearts: the frustration that nothing had happened the way they had hoped for it. Like if it was not meant to be.
-"Wait !" he said and stood right in front of the bike, stopping it from leaving. "Please...We still have four hours left... Just four hours, Elena."
It was too damn hard. She could act like the tough one and not sensitive at all but watching him like that right now, she knew she could not pretend any longer, she had to give in but she wouldn't.
-" I can't!"
He was not going to let her decide anyway. He used his vampire rapidity to take off the key from the lock and threw it out in the field on the other side of the road without giving Elena a chance to stop him. She looked at him, furious, and powerless. She sighed getting off the bike.
-" Damon!" she punched him on the shoulder.
-"Sorry" he said smiling obviously lying.
She exhaled in anger and frustration.
-"I can't believe you! You're impossible Damon, you know that! How am I going to do now? How am I going to leave?..."
-"You'll leave when it'll be the right moment for you to leave. And it's not now! I will help you to get a car or something, we'll figured something out..."
She could not believe her eyes, he was all Damon like again, making choices for her again. She sighed in frustration. She took off her helmet, threw it at him (which surprised him but made him laugh as he dodged the helmet!) and walked right by him, angrily, hitting the road, walking without looking back.
-" May I ask what are you doing?" he said annoyed.
-" I don't need you to help, I told you before I can make my own decisions!" she shouted.
-"So you're going to walk all the way through Kentucky, is that your super plan?"
She didn't answer but kept walking. He looked at her, moving away.
Stefan had joined Bonnie, sitting on a bench outside on the terrace, silently. She looked at him, surprised he was still there and surprised he had sat there.
-"What are you doing here?" she asked cautiously, after all Stefan was full of surprises lately...and none of them were good ones.
-"It's a beautiful night", he said starring at the wide sky which sprawled in front of them. She was a bit nervous without knowing really why, but she could feel all her body got tensed with him by her side.
-"You're shaken?..." he said more affirmative than questioning.
-"...I'm just cold..." she replied as she saw he sad eyes, filled in with grief and loss. " Are you ok?" she asked, forgetting everything that had happened for the last 2 or 3 months...right now she could tell he looked way more like the old Stefan, the one she liked, the one who was in love with her best friend, not a psychotic villain!
-"I am..." he was looking for the right word, "I guess the right word is numb...I just don't realise it yet." he looked back at the stars." She's gone Bonnie. I feel so..." he was swallowing hard "I had her. And I lost her...it's like...I feel, hollow." Bonnie's eyes filled up with tears again and she looked down to avoid crying in front of him. She could understand exactly what he meant, her best friend in life was gone and she was in part responsible for it. She could not feel anything but pain in her heart. Off course she had still Caroline, but they were the three musketeers, all together, without Elena in the picture, it was just not right. They were nothing.
-"I don't even know exactly what's going to happen..." she told Stefan, sniffing. He looked away, giving up the sky view to loose his stare in the darkness of the wood behind the parking lot.
-"She said it would be as if she'd never existed"...he just murmured." as if there were no doppelgänger at all. As if it was just Katherine all along."
-" That's not what Klaus said"...she realised.
-" I guess it was just a parade to give her some time ahead." He looked back at her " I just don't get it, you know! Erasing her from our memories, it's just so...extreme. And I still don't get why Klaus would have helped her..."
-"You don't buy it?" she asked nervously.
-"I wish, it'd be easier to believe it's just over and that we can all move on with our lives that she can move on and get a new life..."
-"But?..."
-"But if we don't remember her, and Klaus does , why wouldn't he just keep chasing her? If we don't protect her any more because well we can't, then he can have her without anyone stopping him."
-"He promised."
They turned back to face Caroline in her blue gown.
-"He's the one who offered the deal first...All he wanted was to not be alone any more and he got his family back now. He didn't lie." she said smiling.
-"Why should we trust him? Why do you trust him?" Bonnie asks suspiciously.
-"Because...he saved my life when I was about to die because of Tyler's bite, he could have just let me die or try to get something out of it...instead ,he just said that he was not such a monster to let me die on my birthday when he could save me...so he just didn't let me die..."
They were starring at her in disbelief and shock by the news she had just leashed on them. So Caroline kept trying to explain her mixed feelings.
-" I know, he's no good. I'm not trying to persuade any of you of his natural kindness...I'm just saying he promised and he seems to be a man of words...despite all the terrifying and monstrously things he did, you must admit that he always kept his word. Even with you Stefan."
They could not say other way but they were now wondering what if . Bzecause of these two little words, they were now imbued with concern and not so much sadness any more.
-"We need to make sure Elena will be okay without us." Stefan said categorically.
-"Got it", she nodded getting up "I'm going home to find a protection spell and ask my mum to help me do it, it'll be harder to break then."
-"Sure" Stefan said.
-"Really, I'm sure there's no point guys!" Caroline said.
-"Caroline, you come with me...I don't like you being like this around Klaus! No good will come out of it" Bonnie said looking weirdly at Caroline.
-" What?...What are you saying?"
-" We don't have time for that now, you come with me, end of story. This is Elena here."
Caroline was pouting,arms crossed. " Caroline ...I should not have to insist!"
-"Okay, I'm coming!" she said giving in and following her friend.
-" Don't worry Stefan, she'll be safe. I'll make sure of it."She told Stefan while heading for the parking lot.
Elena was still walking furiously and as fast as she could to get further and further away from that gas station. How come Damon was always on her nerve? It had been their last talk and he had ruined it, it could not even be just a nice moment saying goodbye to each other for the last time, it had to be that fight over nothing, that kind of puslive repulsive talk that they kept having for a while now. Never respecting her choices nor her calls, always trying to prevent her from everything, always being on her back not letting her breathe, Damon was driving her crazy. Stefan on the other hand, always had respected her choices even when he hadn't shared her point of view. She had to admit that it was something that hadn't changed even tonight, even after everything he had gone through.
Flashback at the party.
Elena got back inside of the house, still numb from what she just saw in that basement. She took a glass of champagne from one of the waiter's tray, and drank it in a single shot. She felt the bubbles tickling her tongue, her throat and warmed up her blood. She grabbed another one.
-" Easy on the Champ, love!" Klaus came across the dancing room and starred at her."It's vintage from 1929 and French. 2 great combinations for an absolute exquisite champagne, don't you think? It deserves a little bit more respect while drinking it... it's more like breathing it in than drinking it actually." he explained almost religiously.
She looked right back at him with defiance, and drank in another single shot, then she beamed at him.
-"Exquisite" she just said.
Klaus was surprised and amused by her attitude.
-" Irony. It doesn't fit you well."
-"Well, sorry to displease you but that's all I'm wearing tonight."
He looked at her intensely, getting closer to her, starting to breathe in her hair, in her neck, then looking back at her.
-"That and..." now smiling" jealousy. What happened?...Or I should ask who happened?"
-"I guess this is a big joke for you, right? All you want is to keep me as a blood bag and that's it, so let's just leave it to that and we're all be good!"
She was heading off, but he caught her arm, forcing her to face him back.
-" That's not all I want. Things can change. Some things have changed...I'd like to make amends...I want peace." He smiled. She opened her mouth in shock with no sound getting out of it. Her throat was too tight by the news.
-"Am I suppose to believe you?" she cracked.
-"Don't look so surprised Elena, I got what I wanted. I got my family back. I got my mother's forgiveness for what I did...I can move on and that's all that matters to me now. The bond of family. No more resentment. No more hybrids therefore no more blood bag."
-"This is one of your tricks." she said affirmatively, stepping aside from his hold.
-"Well, then to prove you my good faith, let's find a way for you to believe me. Just tell me. What it is that you would like. I'll do as you please."
She starred at him, refusing to admit that it could be true but still unable to move away, standing there in front of him wondering what if...like Bonnie had said earlier today, what if it could be all over, what if Klaus meant what he had just said,what if she just had to say something for this mess to be nothing but a memory. What is it that she'd like ?...She knew.
-"You mean like a wish?" she asked still trying to gather all informations in one clear thought.
-" I mean like whatever you want, may it be a wish, a promise, a contract. Something I can't break."
-"A spell?..." she asked meticulously.
-"A spell." he granted."Then I guess we need your witch for that one. And for this to be fair, I'll ask my witch to help you. What can be better than an Original witch?"
She nodded with her eyes but still confused by what she just had agree to do.
-"I'll go get my mother and we'll wait for you two upstairs. Whenever you are ready."
-"What's your point Klaus? Why would you agree to loose grip on the one thing that assures you to have hybrids for years."
-"I told you, dear...I'm not a monster. Besides, I'm in a happy mood tonight, so you should cease this opportunity while it is on, it won't last forever." He smiled at her and went upstairs, leaving Elena baffled not knowing where to stand.
She could hear a car slowing down beside her; She got scared for a minute that it could be some creepy guy who would want to give her a ride, after all it was night and she was walking by herself on the road, she could met any kind of crazy guy!
-"Come on in!" the familiar voice said.
-"No way!" she replied angrily, not even glancing back at him.
-"Come on Elena. Up in! I'll drive you to the next town and you will settle there or get on a bus or on a train, I don't care, I'm not gonna let you walk all the way through there, it's like 2 hours driving."
-"I'm not getting in the car with you!" she replied, still walking furiously.
-" Damn it woman!" he said stopping the car. "What do you want me to do, Elena, huh?" He was now out of the car, furious and copying her pace while she kept walking." Okay? You win!" he shouted at her."You want to be out of our lives, so be out! But you got to let me drive you till you be there." She stopped walking both surprised by his tone and by his rage. "You got to let me do this for you. That's all I'm asking for. Let me do this for you." he continued, calmly this time.
-"You won't try anything stupid, like kidnapping me or something ?..." she asked suspicious."
-"As if I could ever do something like that." he laughed.
-"You did it once."
He looked at her in surprise, trying to put back memories together and understood what she was referring to: one year ago, when they were out of Mystic Falls for a day after her car crashed.
-"It was never a kidnapping..." he said slowly "and you know it."
He was all intense and starring again, and she could felt her inside melting down again. She looked at her watch, it was beyond 9.30 pm. He was right, he was her best chance to be further away on time. She looked furtively at the car, right behind him, an old green dusty pick up, then looking back at him.
-" Promise me you won't do anything stupid." she said with a serious look.
-"Yep. Get in the car." he said.
-"No, say it...Say, I promise." she insisted.
-"Okay I promise..." He smiled. " Now, Get in the car. We don't have that much time."
She headed to the car, Damon following her.
-"Where did you get that car?"
-"...I just borrowed it!" he said with a sneaky smile as he turned the motor on and started to drive. Nothing had happened the way she had hoped for it. Nothing.
Flashback.
Elena was looking down by the window. She could see the parking lot with Bonnie and Caroline chit chatting, admiring each other dresses and laughing at each other jokes. She used to enjoy so much these privileges moments with them...she felt real when they were together and normal. And she held dear to their friendship because it reminded her that not everything was about running, fighting or surviving. Not when they were together. That they were not just a witch, a vampire and some kind of a mystical twin, but that they were also regular friends and girls. And that there was another regular world expecting them, though they might never go out there to find it...it existed somewhere. She watched Bonnie took Caroline by the hand to face her, as if she had something important to say. Nowadays, everything was just about drama, tragedy and goodbye...She hated this. The door behind her cracked up when Stefan pushed it to get inside the room. She turned back to look at him.
-"I got your text." He said, closing the door behind him."Look, if it's about what happened earlier, there is nothing to say Elena. I know where you stand and how you feel about it, I got it, there is nothing to explain."
-"It's not why I ask you to come." she replied sadly. She didn't know how he would respond to what she was about to say but she knew that it would be painful, at least for one of them.
-"It's not?" he asked as she nodded in agreement, silently. "Then why ?" he was getting worried, she had this weird look on her face, the one that she got every time she had a new plan that was putting her in danger. But he was not going to show that he cared. He could not do that any more, it was not his place any more.
-"I'm going to tell you something and I need you to listen until I'm done." She said slowly walking towards him.
-"I'm listening."
-"You should sit, first." she designated the bed, and he sat down on the edge. She took a deep breath and locked her eyes in his."I made a deal with Klaus." then noticing Stefan's eyebrows were getting all inquisitive, she went on.
"I know how it sounds, you must think that I'm a complete idiot to make a deal with him but he came to me and he offered me a chance to get my life back on tracks, without anyone getting hurt in the process, just for the sake of it. And I could not say no to this."
-"And you believe him because?..." his tone was imbued with irony.
-"Bonnie cast a spell and Klaus' mother helped her to make it happen...He can't do anything against me any more...I'm free Stefan."
Stefan was trying to figure out what she was talking about.
-"I don't get it."he just said.
-" I know...I didn't get it at first either. I'm not even sure I get it now actually..." She sat next to him on the bed " Bonnie and Esther made this spell on Mystic Falls, and to make sure Bonnie could not change her mind about it, Klaus compelled her to forget the spell. So that we can't go back."
-"What kind of a spell was it?" he could not change the tone in his voice, he could not sound strong and detached any more. It was obvious he still cared.
-"An erasing spell..."she carried on."I've been erased from all of your memories, I mean I will be at midnight, tonight..." she said looking intensely in his eyes, fighting to look strong. He could not say anything he was just looking at her in disbelief, like if some informations were missing. As if he'd not understood it all. "It will be a life without the doppelgänger, as if I had never been here in the first place. Not in this life, not in this war. Just Katherine... no descendants. Then all this mess I created just by being here, won't be any more. You'll just be vampires in a small town, and I'll be somewhere else trying to live the normal life." She faked a smile. He tried to swallow but it was like his mouth had dried up for no reason.
-"Is it... is it what you really want?" he said in a cracked voice. She took a moment to think about it.
-"Yes" her eyes were full of tears." Yes it's what I want." He was so sad to hear that, but he had hurt her in so many ways that somehow he shouldn't be surprised, but still. Watching the look on her face right now, a mix of relief, sadness and excitement made him kept his mouth shout, letting her speak."I want you to have a chance to love again, to feel again, to be yourself again. The Stefan I know and love, is still here, I'm sure of that...and you don't want to let him come back because of what happened. And everything that had happened...it happened because of me. You are a good man, Stefan." she touched gently his cheek." And you deserve to get a better life now that you repented yourself for all those things you did decades ago, you deserve to get a chance to be happy again...to be happy with your brother...and to move on."
-"You don't need to do that. We can figure things out with Damon, we did it before, we'll do it again. You don't need to leave, there's no point!" he said firmly.
-"This is exactly why I want to do it...I don't want to repeat history...and somehow, even when we're trying so hard to choose our own path, we're right back to that...it's going on inescapably. It's like it's meant to be...If I'm in the picture, we're doomed to repeat the past."
-"Elena..."
-"I love you both...It just happened, I never wanted any of this to happen, but it did anyway. And now I can't choose. I don't want to choose. You keep telling me that I'm better off without you and without Damon...I disagree, I'm the reason why you two can't work out your relationship. You both are better off without me."
-" You're not the reason why Damon and I have such difficulties in our relationship and you know it, it happened before you..."
-"Yes... remember what was the reason and you'll get my point."
-" It wasn't because of you, it was because of Katherine!" he tried to reason her.
-" It's exactly the same thing! No matter how much I hate this situation...it's exactly the same thing. And it's like we are planned to make the same mistakes again and again. And I'm sick of it. I feel trapped and I want more for my life. I want more for your lives. And if the price to pay for all of us to get a normal life, is for me to be out of our lives... then I'll pay the price." She smiled tenderly and leaned towards him to lay a kiss on his cheeks. Tears rolled on her cheeks as he closed his eyes, resigned to let her go, letting tears rolling down his cheeks as well. She got off the bed, readjusting her dress, standing in front of him, he was still sitting on the bed, unable to move, too scared to move.
-"I'm gonna go now." she informed him.
He didn't move. "Please, tell me you understand, Stefan." He got off the bed, slowly, standing up in front of her, like a gentleman.
-"I understand." he nodded as she smiled, relieved to know that at least she was making the right move, at least she was not the only one to believe it was the right call. And that she was right.
-"Thank you" she said tears in her eyes. "I really needed to hear you say that."
She smiled and hold onto him, holding him against her chest, letting him hear her heart beats. She closed her eyes, to keep all the pain inside and to be strong enough then to go to the door and to go out of his life. He was holding hard onto her, as to stop her from leaving, as to keep her in his life. But she put an end to their embrace, and looking sadly at him for what she knows to be the last time, she gathered her strength and all her bravery, whispered a thank you that only he could hear, "Goodbye" ….she headed quickly to the door without looking back, vanishing from the room, vanishing from his life. He looked at the door ajar and sat back, numb. She was gone. She was running through the house, looking for the exit, looking for a way out without taking a moment to stop and breathe. She finally caught sight of the wood entrance door and rushed towards it. One of the doorman opened it for her,one of the hostess came with her purse to give it to her. She just caught her stuff and went outside, walking towards her car. Caroline was leaning against it. Bonnie was with her. Elena's face was now filled up with tears, without saying anything, she just shrugged, powerless. Her friends ran towards her, holding her in their arms, without saying anything. They understood, without saying anything they got her. Right now, in this particular moment she knew she had had the best friends in the world, no need to say anything when there's nothing to say, just holding on to each other, and let it go. She looked at her friends, all smiling and crying in the same time, they shared a similar smile, before she got inside her car and started the engine way beyond speed limit, vanishing in a smoky cloud.
Back to present time, in the old green pick up. Damon was driving, eyes focused on the road. His mind lost somewhere in his memories, in so many of the places they had been together, in so many of the moments they had shared together. Elena was looking by the window, looking at the so many and yet so similar houses and yards and mailboxes, she needed to empty her tormented mind, she didn't want to think that in a few minutes these past two years will be gone. They passed a huge "Welcome to Greensboro " sign,without saying anything, just glancing at each other when the other wasn't looking. It had been 2 long and silent hours since they got in the car. The only things they managed themselves to talk about, was the cold night, the shitty music on the radio and the uncomforted car they were travelling with. Then, once the usual banalities ran out of stock, they just kept silence. What more could they say? That they were both sorry, and torn...what for?
-"Where do you want to go?" he asked, broken the silence out of nowhere. She jumped in surprise to hear his voice again.
-"Err...Train station?" she looked at Damon, as if she was expecting an answer.
-"Are you telling me or are you asking ?"
She looked all around her, she didn't know anything here nor any one; She hadn't thought this through. The train station, then what? She had to find a new plan. Where to go then?...Jeremy. She had to go and stay with Jeremy, he was her family, what was left of it anyway. She had to go where he was, then there she'll find a new plan or a new life. Denver it will be then.
-"The train station" she informed him.
When they got there on the frontage of the train station, they could see the large vintage look of the clock showing 11.29. They stared at it for a moment like hypnotized by the two hands so distant from one another until the large one stood on the big 6...11.30 now. They looked at each other for a second, shared an awkward smile and went inside without saying anything. Elena went to the information desk but no one was here. The train station was almost empty. Some guy was laying down on his bag next to a heater, his hat was covering his face, probably sleeping. Some pierced and tattooed teenager girl was sitting on a bench, reading PROUST. And some tall black guy dressed in what looks like a uniform from AMTrack, was pacing all around the station, checking for everything to be okay. Elena was looking around, looking for some bus or train schedules. Damon went by the information desk where she was standing.
-"What you're looking for?"
-"The time schedules." she said without looking back at him." Got it." she said looking back at him with a big smile. When she saw the fake "yay"in his eyes, it hit her: there were no reasons to get carried away, she was about to leave. Then she skimmed the small piece of paper she held between her fingers and she saw it written like an omen." Night train: Departure time 0.03. "...She looked back at Damon, looking grave.
-"What now?" he sighed...
-"There's a train for Denver. I am there in two days."
-" Two days? Wow, You don't mind if I'm not coming with you, do you?" he asked almost laughing. She was not laughing at his joke. "I'm kidding Elena, I know I'm not coming with..."
-"The train leaves at midnight." she interrupted him. "Midnight, tonight." she added just to make sure he got what it meant. He looked at her, took a moment to process the news, swallowed his need to run away with her and decided to smile at her instead.
-"Well, it's a gonna be a party for you! Two days on train! Real FUN !" he said bitterly.
She looked back at the clock, 11.35, then back at him. 26 minutes left. Just 26 minutes and she'll be the only one to remember everything.
-"You don't have to stay till I'm gone, you know. The deal was for you to drive me here and then let me go, we never said anything about waiting for me to be actually gone." Was she telling him he could leave now? Was she seriously considering it? Did she really believe that he would want to shorten up the few minutes left he had with her? "There's no point of you waiting..."He started to backtrack looking at her, moving away, wordless but starring deep at her. He could not stay here until the last minute, she thought, it would be dreadful and painful for both of them, there was no point. "It'll be easier if you..." she could not end her sentence.
-"If I what?" he asked.
She could not answer that. It won't be easy, no matter what. She just said nothing, accepting the undeniable truth. It will be a hell of a painful moment, but it will be their last moment and they will be together until it happens. Tears were back in her eyes, so she looked away as to scare them off. Then she started to scan the place, the huge glass windows, the old wood benches, the empty rails, the metallic roof, which send her right back to so many memories that she started to smile.
-"You know, I used to love train stations!" she said before stopping her stare on Damon's face. He raised an eyebrow in surprise.
-"Train stations, really? Is that the smell?"he said in irony, sitting on one of the benches.
-"I know but despite the smell..."she smiled, he was waiting for an explanation. " When I was a little girl...around 6 or 7 maybe, I remember my dad started a new job as a commercial agent or something, he was going to be always on the road. And I remember that Jeremy and I got scared sick that being away, he would eventually find a new life with new kids, a new wife...a new family. But we couldn't say anything because, our mum didn't look worry at all and we didn't want to worry her..." she smiled while remembering, he was listening carefully, realising that this was the first time she shared a family memory with him, and this particular moment made him feel special. " Anyway, I remember that very first time when we went to drive my dad to the train station. We were trying so hard not to cry, so hard to be brave for our mum. And when we got there, the pain that we felt, as if we were saying farewell to our dad... it was unbearable, we were torn inside...but my mum told us that there were no reasons to be sad about...because we loved our dad and he loved us too and that he will come back..." She started to walk towards Damon and went to sit besides him, she kept talking glancing at Damon from time to time but still lost in her story. " She said, that next week when he'll be back we'll have a party, go to the beach...or bake a cake, because it was a happy moment. And it was full of love. So we couldn't be sad, because... everything about this being here and saying goodbye to those we love, it's just about love and happiness, and the promise to meet again..." She looked at him, sadly smiling. "And from this moment on, driving our dad to the train station was our favourite moment of all, because well... it was just a matter of time before we meet him again... and throw a party. And ever since, may it be in train stations, or airports or whatever the place when people have to say goodbye to each other, all I can feel is how much it's full of love, how much they are about to be happy, because it's wonderful to yearn someone we love's return …." she had tears in her eyes again, resulting from the story she was telling and from what was the point of what she was telling. Damon was everything in the same time. Overwhelmingly happy, because for the first time in their history, she was sharing a happy memory with him, she was confiding in him and that thought made him silly happy, they had never been so close and for a change it has nothing to do with his brother or with protecting her, they were just two people in a train station sharing an intense moment and somehow it felt good to be just normal. But in the mean time, he understood why she was telling him that story, he could see the obvious link between what she was talking about and what they were living right now. And watching her eyes filled in with tears, he could not be happy about it. He was everything and nothing in the same time.
-"This is not gonna be one of these moments, is it?" his voice claimed to be strong and tough but it was everything but...all she could feel was just helplessness.
Her tears rolled slowly down on her cheeks while her heart got broken again, but she smiled nevertheless, agreeing to what he'd just said, saying no with her head.
-" But it's still full of love." she whispered, all smiling between her tears. He looked down, didn't want to let her see his tears. She grabbed his hand, holding it firmly in hers before resting her head on his shoulder. At this moment, there was no drama, no fight, no argument to know who's right and who's wrong...They were just happy and relieved because there was love in their lives. He just felt blessed that he got lucky enough to meet the right girl, that perfect person, the one he would have died for without her asking him to, that someone that much important in his life that without her he'd felt like nothing. He felt bright that it happened, though he knew that 20 minutes from now he will have forgotten, just knowing that it had happened, was enough for him to make him believe that a love like that can not be erased and that somehow, his love for her will be stronger than a spell and that that love will find a way to not be forgotten. And even if it won't, somehow he had already had the best part of it. It was full of love, she had said, it was just perfect... They looked back at the clock ticking.
Bonnie and Caroline was at the old Witches' House, candles lighted everywhere, open magic books landed on piles, on the ground. Bonnie knelt down in her evening gown and was chanting Latin psalms that Caroline could not understand. She stood up against a wall behind the witch and watched her friend casting the spell. The candles lighted stronger for a few seconds and it felt as if someone had opened up a door and draft came in the room without being able to blow out any of the candles. While Bonnie was still chanting, Caroline could hear thousand of dead witches' voices everywhere in the house. Impossible for her to say what these voices were saying though. All of a sudden, everything stopped in the same time. Candles, wind, voices, everything went to silent and Bonnie opened her eyes as if she was just getting out of a dream. She saw Stefan in the doorway.
-"She'll be protected now. They helped."
They shared a sad smile. Their friend was gone but she will be fine.
-"Thank you" he just replied, before vanishing in the half light of the house. Caroline went to kneel down next to her friend, and hold her in her arms.
-"You did good, Bonnie. You did good..." she repeated to her friend who nodded.
When the train stopped in the Greensboro station, the night was clear and lukewarm. When the doors opened on the platform, all the people who were travelling went out of it rushing to stretch their legs after so many hours being stuck in a can. They were talking with each other, laughing at each other, some kids were running around though it was almost midnight, some other were asleep in their parent's arms. The train station was full of people coming and leaving, everyone mixing with everybody else.
Elena was looking at this reunion show, she was not sitting any more, but standing up to have a better view of the scene. She smiled at it and turned back to look at Damon. He was there, standing, his eyes locked onto hers. That was the moment. The train was leaving in ten minutes or so, that was it. She just took gently his hand in hers, letting their fingers intertwined as if it was the most natural thing in the world. She let herself thinking that she liked his hand in hers like that. Then she looked at him in the eyes. He was trying so hard not to cry, trying so hard to do the right thing, he could feel every inches of his heart getting crushed by every second passing by. It was worse than death itself, but for her sake he had to be strong enough to make it, it was an inner battle: between his love for her and his need to protect her, there was Damon, the man before the vampire. Without saying anything, she just leaned towards him and hold him in her arms. He let her did so, feeling her warmth breath in his neck, he wrapped her gently with his arms, still trying to be the perfect gentleman and fighting against his need to kiss her, looking away to force the tears to disappear.
-" The train AJ8896 will leave Platform B in 8 minutes. Every passengers are called on board." said the feminine voice in the speakers.
-" That's me.", she said stopping their embrace. He nodded in agreement, and started to look for something in his pockets. After a few seconds he hold his wallet out to Elena. "What ?" she asked.
-"Take my money, you'll need it, you didn't take anything with you, you don't have any passport nor ID, you'll need some money. Take it." he said still holding his wallet in his hand.
-"I'm okay, I'll find a way."
-" Just take it." he put it in her hand. She looked at the black leather wallet that she was holding in her hand and that will ever be her reminder of that precious moment. She smiled back at him.
-"Thank you."
-"You're welcome." he smiled softly. She looked around her, looking at people getting reunited with their family. "You don't need anything else?" he asked worried.
-"No, I'm good... I just... I just don't know...how to say goodbye to you..." she was starting to cry now."
He was so amazed by her now, by the way she was expressing her feelings, how beautiful she looked in that particular light, with tears rolling on her cheeks, how delicate and frail she looked at that moment.
-" Well, don't." he said gently " Just pretend like you're going on a trip, like if I would come to pick you up next week, and that we'll throw a party, or go to the beach or...bake a cake." he smiled sadly, caressing her cheek, wiping away her tears.
-"So you were actually listening?" she smiled.
-"Sometimes I do."
-" The train AJ8896 will leave Platform B in 5 minutes. Every passengers are called on board." the voice called again.
-"Oh God!" she cried.
-"Hey!Shhhhhhh..." She went back in his arms as she was nervously and emotionally breaking down, he tried to calm her down.
-"I'm so scared, I don't want to go. I don't want to be alone, I don't want to leave."
-"No, Elena, you have to go, you have to get that chance to be happy. You are right to want to, but don't be afraid of being alone... you will never be alone." He cupped her face in his hand, forcing her to look at him through her many tears. "Look at me, it's okay, you won't be alone in this. You'll be with Jeremy, you'll be with all of us, we may not will remember you but you will, so you'll have all of us. You're gonna have a life Elena, a real life. You'll go to college, get a degree and you'll do whatever you want to do, get married, get kids, you'll have a full and happy life. You deserve it, okay? That is why you leave, to accomplish that, so you have to hold on to that! Don't be afraid. Your life is about to start right now. So don't be afraid." He wiped her tears away one more time on both cheeks, while holding back his. " So don't you dare stay. Don't ruin that chance to start all over. Promise me"
-" But …."
-"Promise me." he said louder.
They looked at each other, she paused for her to breathe again.
-"Okay I promise." she said softly breathing out.
-"Don't ever come back Elena, because you know I won't be able to do that twice..."
-"I know. I won't." she said calmly now. Now she had heard him saying all these encouragements, looking at his deep blue eyes while he said all this, now she felt strong again.
-" Good." he knew that he was right, that it was the right move to have, though his heart was screaming out to stop her from leaving, he knew it was the only solution he got. "Now go, before I change my mind" he whispered. He was not holding her any more, freeing her to leave.
-"Okay." she nodded, wiping her tears again and looking away for a second. Then she looked one more time at his angelic face that she'd miss so much in a few minutes and for the rest of her living life, she was capturing every part of him with her mind, like a photograph, eyes, hair, chin, mouth, tears, eyes. She didn't want to forget anything about him, she wanted to remember of everything about him. She touched his face slowly with her fingers, like drawing a line from his cheeks to his eyes and going down gently to his lips that she caressed softly. A tear rolled on his cheek as she kissed his lips softly before getting lost in that ravaging kiss that both of them were craving for, for so long. They kissed passionately, holding on to each other, grabbing each other, drinking on each other's breath, each other's soul. He had her. In this moment, this precious and eternal moment she was his, among the crowd passing by, they felt like no one could destroy this magic moment they were living, this safe place they were standing in, like apart from the rest of the world. They stopped kissing to breathe again, she leaned her forehead onto his to take a brief moment to rest, both of their eyes closed. Then she smiled looking at him, before turning her back quickly, heading to Platform B without looking back to him. Damon was barely breathing now, trying to stand still, opening his eyes to watch her moving further and further away. He was there, letting her go, trying to regain his body and his mind. She kept moving without turning back, making her way through the crowd, afraid to loose it again. He was breathing hard, panting but never getting his eyes off of her. She went by a staff member of the train, showing him her train ticket which she had bought a few minutes ago. He showed her the way to get in the train. Damon looked at the clock beside him, 11.59, then back at her. How come time can fly so fast sometimes?...
She was now standing in front of the open door to get inside of the train, she caught at the cold iron door and turned back to look at Damon. "It's full of love" she murmured looking straight at him for him to hear her. He smiled, hearing every word of it and repeat "It's full of love". She sadly looked at him before disappearing inside the train. When all he could see was just the darkness of the place where she was standing one second ago, it hit him. It was over. And his unliving heart broke one more time. The door of the train closed like by magic and soon, he was one of the few people staying and standing in the train station. She sat at the window, still having an eye on him, knowing he couldn't see her through the tainted glass. She could see him, he was almost looking straight at her as if he could see her.
The large hand of the clock stopped its chase to finally catch up the small one finishing both their race on the 12. United. The clock ringed out once, twice then a third time. She stood up out of her seat. He breathed out and in, like to force himself to get air again in his lungs.
Stefan was sitting in front of his fireplace, looking at Elena's pictures burning in the fire. Bonnie and Caroline were drinking tea silently in Bonnie's living room. Sixth time, seventh time. The Originals were partying at the ball. Eighth time. He was still here, he could still see her, he still knew exactly who she was, why his heart felt like it had been removed from his chest and why he didn't know how to breathe any more. Tenth time, eleventh time. He had her, that moment, he had her he won't forget that. Never. Twelfth time.
She leaned herself on the glass window, as if she could see better, as if she could hear his mind forgetting her. She saw him turning around, looking all around him as if he was lost. He looked for something in his pockets,and picked up his phone before dialling a number. He kept looking around like if something was wrong, without knowing exactly what was it. He turned his back to the train, starting to walk away.
-"I'm at Greensboro train station" Damon said on the phone.
She sat back slowly, understanding it had worked out. She had been erased. She was the only one to remember now. Another tear rolled on her cheek while she felt the train starting to move slowly, taking her away to that new life she had secretly hoped for, for so long.
But nothing seemed more wrong in that instant. She could not kept her eyes off of Damon who was back-facing her. She wanted it to be the last thing she'd see from that life she was giving up.
-"She's on a train to Denver. She's gonna meet Jeremy."
-" Does she know ?" Stefan asked on the phone.
-"Off course she doesn't know." He could hear the train starting to leave. " How did you do it?"he asked surprised to remember everything.
-"Let's just say, Bonnie's magic is way beyond our expectations." he starred at the flames dancing in front of him. " Way beyond." Damon turned back again to look at the train leaving.
-"We have to stay out of her life now Damon. No interfering with her again. It's her only chance."
-"I know." he just replied.
He looked at the train.
-"So what are you gonna do now Damon ? Travel ?Go see China, India, Russia maybe ?"
-"Nan, You're not going to get rid of me that easily...I'm going back home baby bro', going to torture you again, same old same old..." he smiled in amusement.
-"Why ? You're free now. You can go anywhere you want to...no reason for you to stick around." Stefan asked happily surprised.
-" It's just you and me now, brother. Just the way it has to be."he smiled before hanging up. Stefan smiled sadly. Damon stood there, on the platform watching the train moving further and further away, taking the woman he loved so much, away with it. The impossible had had happened tonight. She was given a chance to get a new life, one she would actually choose and their only option to give her that, was to let her go. In order to save her, they had to let her go out of their lives... They had both spent an entire century and more loving the wrong woman who didn't really deserve it... they would spent as long as they could loving the right one, even if it meant not being with her even it meant that she should not know about it. It was not her price to pay. He smiled while watching the train leaving. Elena rested her head on the window and noticed that Damon was facing the train again, that's when she noticed his smile. And as the train started to gain more speed, and getting out of Damon's sight, she hold on firmly to the black leather wallet in her hands, eyes blocked on the platform and couldn't help herself to smile hoping for one day when she'd come back on that platform again and when he'd be waiting for her to take her away to the beach or to the party he'd have thrown for her, because he would remember everything...One fine day, maybe. Sitting on the train bringing her to that new life waiting for her to start, she surprised herself feeling incredibly happy, otherwise...why would she be crying right now ?
THE END.