A Different Christmas

Disclaimer: Jingle bell belongs to santa, Mai HiME belongs to sunrise, and the unhappy people quote is courtesy to Eva from Mahou Sensei Negima! Which in turn she took from Anna Karenina, which I never bothered to read.

Tadaima: I'm home

Okaerinasai: Welcome back.

Pointless fic about the overused Christmas angst and stuff. Oh, and short, so very short. And yes, I know that it's 5 months too late.

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Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way…

Before I knew it, Christmas had come again. Walking silently behind Mai and Mikoto on a busy street at Christmas eve, it was hard to not notice how an usually mundane street like this would lit up like a dying fire that had suddenly burst to life, just to celebrate the day when Jesus; the son of God whom no one knows for certain really existed or not, was born.

Happy families, couples, children, men, women, salary men on a drunken stupor, they all seemed… so happy. Smiling, laughing openly, doing things they normally wouldn't do on normal, tedious days. But then there's people like me, I noticed. People who didn't smile, people who wore frowns and contrasted so much with their surroundings, they stood out like a child's drawing on a timeless master piece.

I soon realized that when everyone was happy because it was Christmas, the reason for people to be unhappy was never the same, maybe they hated Christmas, maybe someone close to them died, but whatever it was, they were all unhappy for different reasons.

'Happy families are all alike, but unhappy families are all unhappy in their own different ways.'

I guess that was why Mai asked me that question. "Hey Natsuki, do you… hate Christmas?"

That sudden question caught me off guard. "Why do you ask that?" I asked her back as I took my time warming my hands on my cup of hot chocolate, as we had stopped in a small café for a break; both of them were sitting on the other end of the table.

She stirred her coffee absent mindedly as she popped her chin on her hand, "It's just that you seemed quieter than usual, and you're frowning." She said as she mimicked the state my face must be in right now, after wiping off some cream from Mikoto's face first.

"No, I don't particularly hate Christmas…" It was true. I never hated Christmas; it was the happy memories that came with it that I despise. I was painfully reminded of my lone existence, so painfully aware of the fact that nothing but darkness would greet me when I open the door to my apartment. "…Nor do I particularly like it."

Mai raised an eyebrow, indicating that she wasn't quite satisfied by my vague answer, but she didn't prod more, much to my relief. My mind was as vague as my answer itself.

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"You got everything you need?" I asked her as we neared the school.

She sifted through her grocery and nodded in affirmation. "Yeah, thanks for shopping with me today, Natsuki."

"Ooiii! Mai!" Mikoto shouted; already a good distance away from us, waving her hands energetically.

I couldn't help but chuckle a bit upon the sight of the younger girl. "Well," I said finally, "Good luck with Tate tonight."

"I-it's not like that!" She countered, against what I didn't know. Her cheeks were beginning to turn slightly red. I guess she misinterpreted my statement, nothing would happen with Mikoto around, at least she would know that much, but when faced with love, it was as if all logic was thrown out of the window, that much I know. I had seen someone kill for it.

Another "Ooi! Mai!" shout was heard from Mikoto. Waving back at her, Mai started a small run towards her companion, not before shouting "Merry Christmas!" at me. Which I didn't have a chance to reply since she was already quite far away, or maybe because I never bothered too. I turned to my left and began walking back to my apartment.

See, if this was a manga, the main character would mutter inaudibly, "Merry Christmas" to his self while he ate his cake, alone while it was either snowing or raining outside. I wouldn't do such thing, no matter how I wanted to pretend that there was something to celebrate, to just say Merry Christmas for the first time since she died, even if no one was hearing. It invites pity, and that was the last thing I wanted, forget how idiotic it would be.

Kuga Natsuki, the cool biker girl who beat people up, going all fluffy and celebrating Christmas alone? I wonder what that Nao girl would say, upon seeing me in such a pitiable state. The façade I had simple mindedly created had grown, and unexpectedly, became me, the Kuga Natsuki everyone came to know. The me who followed dear Mommy around calling her name no longer existed, or rather, no one recognized her.

"Tadaima," I said to the darkness greeting me as I entered my room. It was a habit that I never managed to shake off, even if that single word would send a stab of emptiness in my chest every time I uttered it. Not that it mattered; I was simply used to it.

"Okaerinasai, Natsuki."

Then, a familiar ring greeted my ears, like the ring of a bell. So sharp it was, yet so pleasing to hear. Immediately recognizing the voice, I spun around, and found myself standing before her.

"…Shizuru."

She was smiling as usual, yet differently so. Maybe it was the rare gentleness in her eyes that were otherwise devoid of readable emotions.

"Merry Christmas, Natsuki."

I felt my lips pointing upwards and my facial features rearranging themselves. I too, for a reason unbeknownst to me, smiled back at her, and muttered a phrase I thought I had abandoned long ago, "…Merry Christmas, Shizuru."

End

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I actually laughed at the end of this fic, for the corniness of it. Erhm, anyways, I wrote this fic after feeling depressed from Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito's ending (which sucks, damn it, give Hatsumi back to Hazuki for gawd's sake), which in turn made me reminisce my past Christmases (God knows why), which consisted of blurry image of nothingness, since they weren't exactly picture perfect (the last one being especially depressing). Then I had the idea to write about Nao and her Christmas, but somehow evolved to Natsuki along the way. Well, this would've turned out better if I didn't have the bright idea of watching comedy in the middle of writing it, thus killing off the angsty mood that was slowly building.

I'm still thinking on whether to add another chapter (or two) from Shizuru's persepective... but then again with my poor attention span, I wouldn't be surprised if I suddenly abandon it. Oh well...

Anyways, please read and review (and don't say anything about it being corny, unoriginal or sucky, since I've realized that long ago.)