Title: Time of Dying
Author: Terion
Disclaimer: Not. Mine.
Rating: Caution for violence and blood and gore and DEATH.
Book or TV verse: Book verse, post White Night by a few years; not a part of my series.
Summary: What happens when someone you love dies, killed in a battle that wasn't their own but one they chose to fight in anyway because you were there?

I held her – close to me with her head tucked under my chin. My arms wrapped tight about her small frame and she felt fragile in my grasp.

Breakable.

Glass.

Empty.

I held her – but there was nothing left to hold. She lay limp in my arms, no biting remarks coming from her lips and no hands coming to hit me. Her blue eyes were dark underneath a fringe of blood-streaked blonde hair. There was no fire in her, none of her strength.

No one was home anymore.

And that made nothing matter.

I carefully laid her down on the ground, brushing her hair back from her face. Then I picked up my staff and rose to my feet slowly, not feeling my own wounds.

The gash on my cheek was nothing.

The slash across my chest was nothing.

The bruises were nothing.

Pain didn't matter anymore. At least not that sort of pain.

Striding forward, I reached up and unfastened the pin that held the now bloodied gray cloak at my throat. As I passed the young form of Captain Luccio, I dropped it at her feet and moved on without a word.

"Dresden!"

I kept walking, ignoring the cry.

I kept walking until I stood directly in front of the enemy, staring the monster right in its beady eyes. And they let me walk up to them.

"Come to give yourself up, Dresden?" it hissed, black flesh rippling as it flexed its wickedly clawed arms. My eyes were drawn downward and saw blood on those claws.

Was it hers?

I raised my gaze back up and smiled. The monster jerked backwards as if I had slapped it in the face.

"You took something from me," I said softly. My voice was a barely recognizable growl, a mockery of how I usually sounded.

I looked calm.

I wasn't.

The monster seemed to regain its composure and leaned forward, breathing stinking breath in my face.

"You cannot fight us all, Dresden."

My smile turned into a feral grin at that and I thrust the end of my staff against its chin.

"Watch me," I hissed. "Fuego."

One whispered word and a minor focus of will.

Just that.

Just that and I blew that monster's fucking head off.

The one's that were arrayed behind it stared in shocked as the huge, sickening black body fell to the side, limbs still twitching. Then they looked at me, now splashed in the monster's blood with that grin still on my face.

Fear showed in their black eyes.

I would give them something to fear.

Everything became a blur of blood, fire, and screaming after that.

Their screaming.

My screaming.

Their blood.

My blood.

My fire…puckering their flesh and searing them to the bone.

Killing them.

Like they'd killed her.

I remember after, standing there amongst the piles of burning and broken monstrous bodies. They fled, screaming in terror, and I followed, racing after them as fast as my feet would carry me.

A few screamed louder.

They were the first one's that fell.

More bodies.

More blood.

I killed them until there were no more around.

I killed them until my magic ran dry.

I killed them and killed them and killed them and yet…

…the anger and the rage and the fury did not fade.

I didn't feel better.

Killing them had done nothing.

She was still gone.

The realization hit like a blow from a sledgehammer and I screamed, anger and fury and sorrow and madness all in one tormented cry. It was something more animal than human, something ripped from the very bowels of my being.

I screamed until my throat was raw and my knees weak.

Then I fell in the blood and the gore of the monsters I had killed. Tears fell from my eyes, mixing with the blood spattered on my face, and I choked on another scream. I lay there and whimpered like a broken animal – until something touched me.

A snarl ripped its way out of my throat at the touch and I sprang, fingers clenched into claws. My hands found an arm and a throat and I took someone down, landing on them with all of my weight.

"Dresden," croaked Morgan, one hand grasping at mine about his throat as I started to squeeze. "Dresden!"

I just snarled and pressed harder.

What did I care?

She was gone and I had nothing left.

"HARRY!"

My name, screamed by a male voice I knew.

It was enough to make me pause. And as my grip slackened on the throat of the wizard underneath me, someone far stronger tackled me from the side.

I went down underneath them with a feral scream and fought back, trying to claw at their face. But their hands gripped mine tightly and a pale face was thrust into mine, dark eyes staring hard.

"Harry! Damnit, little brother, please!"

I froze and stared.

Some sanity crept back to me then and the red haze that had covered my vision cleared somewhat. I took in a deep, harsh breath and whispered, "Thomas?"

"Yeah," he breathed. He let go of one of mine hand and brushed back my hair, which was matted to my face by blood. I blinked and saw him much clearer – his face haggard and pale from exerting himself and worry. "Harry…you scared me."

I blinked then shuddered as I remembered.

Death.

Blood.

Me.

Murph.

"They killed her," I breathed. My now free hand grasped at his wrist and I hissed, "She's gone."

"I know."

His whispered words cemented it. I had hoped he would tell me that I had been wrong; that she was still alive.

But it was only a false wish.

And the truth shattered everything I had left.

There were no more tears – I had spent them all.

There was no more screaming – my throat was too raw to even speak much.

There was no more killing – I had nothing left.

I just lay there on the ground and closed my eyes, a knot in my throat. Thomas moved after a moment and lifted me up, wrapping his arms around me as he pulled me into a hug. I knotted my fingers into his shirt, my fingers with the dark monstrous blood drying on them, and clung to the comfort offered. His arms tightened around me and his breath tickled my ear as he whispered, "Harry…little brother…I'm so sorry…"

His words broke the floodgates my grief had quelled itself behind when the rage had come back. My fingers tightened where they grasped his shirt and my throat ached as I whimpered pitifully. I clung to him, there amongst the corpses of the monsters and the massacre I had done, and felt like my soul was shattering over and over again.

Stars and stones, she was gone

What could I do now?

There was nothing without her.

I was nothing without her.

Murph. Murph. What do I do now? What do I do?